SO, MY DAY sucked ass. First, the paparazzi blindsided me and nearly blinded me at the same time.
The whole world thinks I’m a crazy slut.
Oh, yeah, and then I walked in on my mom and Cam screwing in the shower. The shower she used to share with my dad.
Good times.
She wanted to talk about it on the plane ride home, but I didn’t. So, I stuck my headphones in my ears and ignored everyone the entire plane ride home.
Truthfully, I don’t know how I feel about seeing her with someone who isn’t my dad. It’s weird. I mean, I get it. She deserves to be happy, too, and I want her to be happy. Clearly, Cam makes her happy.
Right now, my focus is on Zach and fixing this clusterfuck of a day. His phone keeps going to voicemail and mine is messed up because I threw it against the wall. I might have been aiming for Cam’s head. I’ll never tell.
We pull up to the house and, of course, Zach isn’t here. Goddammit. For some reason, I knew in my gut he wouldn’t be here.
Climbing out of the car, I pull my keys from my purse and head straight for my Range Rover. “Jay, where are you going?” Mom calls out.
“To see Zach.”
ZACH’S JEEP IS in the driveway when I pull up and I sigh in relief. I press my hand against my stomach to calm the nervous butterflies as I ring the doorbell and silently pray Zach or Logan answers. My prayer falls on deaf ears as the bitch appears in the doorway. Elizabeth Easton tilts her head up at me with a look of disdain. In my high-heeled knee boots I tower over her like a giant and I’m tempted to bonk her on the head.
“What do you want?” she sneers.
“Is Zach home? He’s not answering my calls or texts.”
“Why would he?” She takes a step back and goes to close the door.
I slap my hand on the door before she can slam it in my face. “Is he here or not?”
“No.” She tries to shut it again, but I stick my foot in the doorway, pushing against it.
“Grow up, Liz. I know you hate my mom. Blah, blah, blah.” I roll my eyes, so over her bullshit. “Get over yourself. I’m not her. I’ve been nothing but respectful to you, even after you shoved me and continued to treat me like shit. You’re never going to accept me and I’m okay with that. I’m done playing nice. Think what you want, but you don’t know me or what’s in my heart. I love Zach and that’s never going to change, so I couldn’t give a flying fuck what you think of me.”
“There she is,” she coos sarcastically. “I knew you were a little spitfire just like your mother. It’s not just because you’re Emerson’s daughter that I don’t like you. It’s because when I look at you, all I see is that backstabbing whore who was supposed to be my best friend.” I frown and she nods. “And from what I’ve seen all over the Internet, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
I suck in sharp breath and take a step back, dropping my hand from the door. “Did you just call me a whore?”
“Elizabeth!” Mike yells from somewhere inside the house and she looks over her shoulder.
“What is wrong with you?” I whisper. A look passes over her features, regret and something else. Before I can work it out, she disappears into the house and Logan takes her place at the door.
“Hey. You okay?” I blink away the shock of Elizabeth’s harsh words and shake my head.
“Jayla?” Mike walks up behind Logan with a frown on his face.
Shaking my head, I turn around and head back to my car.
“Jay!” Logan calls out. I turn around as he jogs up to me. “I heard what you said to my mom.” He chuckles. “She had no right talking to you like that. I’m glad you put her in her place.” He pulls me in for a hug. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “Not really,” I breathe out.
“Come on.” He motions to my car. “Zach is over at Brad’s. I’ll ride with you.”
MY PHONE RINGS through the speakers and the Bluetooth lady tells me it’s Lexi calling. I press the button and skip my normal greeting. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for hours.”
“Working. Jeffrey called and asked me to cover his shift for a couple of hours. I was at Brad’s long enough to see Celebrity Dirt.” She laughs. “Evangeline is hilarious.”
“Yeah, she is,” Logan agrees from the passenger seat.
“Are you okay, though? That was pretty brutal. Who’s that in the car with you?”
“I’m fine. I’m with Logan and we’re on our way to Brad’s.”
“Cool. I’m just pulling in now. Hey, have you talked to Cole or Harper?”
“No. Why?”
“I’m not sure what happened, but I overheard Cole telling Zach that he and Harper got into a fight. Cole and Zach were pretty drunk when I left.”
Great.
“Okay, we’re almost there. I’ll see you soon.” The call disconnects and my phone immediately starts ringing again. Mom.
Inhaling a deep breath through my nose, I answer. “Hey.”
“What’s going on, Jay?”
“Nothing. I just got to Brad’s. Can I call you back?”
“Yes, but for the love of God, don’t do anything to make matters worse. I’ve got enough to deal with, okay?”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I have to go.” I hang up before she can say anything else. I’m not in the mood.
CARS LINE BRAD’S U-shaped driveway. I recognize most of them from our usual crowd.
“Hey.” Logan grabs my hand as we follow the pathway down the side of the house leading to the backyard. “Just remember we guys do some pretty dumb shit when we’re pissed off.”
“Like what?”
“I’m just saying if he’s drunk and pissed off, he’ll act like a baby and say a bunch of shit he doesn’t mean. I know my brother.”
“Too bad.” I push forward and hurry my steps. “He could’ve at least shown up and waited for me. I’ve had a really bad day, Logan.” It’s not like I’ve ever given Zach a reason not to trust me.
Lexi and Evan are alone by the pool when Logan and I round the corner. Evan pulls away and opens his arms out to his sides. “The ‘Hollywood Harlot’ has returned,” he says with a laugh.
I know he’s joking, but seriously, what’s with everyone calling me a whore tonight?
“Evan!” Lexi screeches and smacks him in the chest. “Hey!” She throws her arms around me and I return the hug. “God, I’ve missed your face. Hey, Logan!” She smiles up at him, then returns her gaze to me. “Girl, just a heads-up. They’re all pretty drunk. Even Cole, Mister I-never-drink-at-parties.”
“Sorry, Jay. It was a joke. Bad day?” Evan smirks.
“You could say that. Where’s Zach? He hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts. And neither have my so-called friends.” I huff out a harsh laugh. “Funny how every call went straight to voicemail and not one person replied to a single text. Coincidence? I seriously doubt it.” Evan gives me a sympathetic look, but I wave it off. “It’s whatever. Bros before hoes and all that.”
“No one wants to get in the middle of it, Jay,” Evan explains. Collective sounds of easy chatter and laughter drift from the beach. “Everyone is down on the beach.”
I scan the faces of the small crowd gathered around the bonfire until my eyes land on Zach. He’s leaning back in an Adirondack chair, arms crossed over his chest, staring into the orange-red flames of the bonfire like he’s deep in thought. A beanie covers his wavy dark blonde hair and a few stray curls peek out around the edge. A dark gray thermal Henley covers his wide chest and muscular arms. His jean-clad legs are stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles.
He’s so beautiful and yet I have the urge to punch him.
I’ve had the day from hell and he’s here having the time of his life.
Fuck that.
Evan throws his arm over my shoulder. “His phone is dead. That’s probably why you haven’t been able to get in touch with him. And everyone else has their phones on silent because they don’t want to get involved. As much as the guys love and respect Zach, they care about you, too.”
“How fucking sweet.” I roll my eyes.
Evan chuckles. “And you didn’t call everyone.”
“That’s because usually when I call Lexi, you two are joined at the hip. I didn’t realize she’d gone in to cover for Jeffrey. My bad.” I shrug. “You’re off the hook.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve been keeping my eye on him. He’s drunk as fuck right now, but he’ll be fine after he sleeps it off. He and Cole are just feeling sorry for themselves.”
I turn my angry gaze on Evan. “Are you kidding me right now? I’ve been accused of screwing half the MLB, including my uncle, and for being crazy. And then….” Jesus, I almost throw all my shit out there for the world to hear. I shake my head. “He was supposed to meet me at my house. I called him earlier, upset after what happened. You’d think he’d care enough to come check on me. But nooooo! He’s over there having the time of his life with that bitch.” Evan winces. “Exactly.”
Reagan sneers in my direction as she walks over and hands Zach a beer before perching on the arm of his chair. Is this bitch for real? And then my heart cracks in half when Zach looks up at her, smiles affectionately, and thanks her. Is this seriously happening right now? I can’t decide if I want to throw up or slap the goddamn smile off his face. I choose the latter.
My body trembles with hurt and rage.
I storm down to the beach as someone calls out, “Yo, Zach!”
He lifts his head, then swivels it in my direction.
“Busted!” someone else shouts, followed by bunch of “Oh, shits” and “Uh-ohs”.
“She looks pissed,” someone says.
“Dude, you’re so fucked right now.” Cole laughs.
It’s not easy to stomp through beach sand in high-heeled boots, but I’m so determined to knock some sense into him, I could probably walk on water right now. I cross my arms over my chest and glare down at Zach. A glare that could easily burn a hole through his head. He’s aware that I’m standing right in front of him, but he looks everywhere else except for at me.
Cole reaches over and smacks me on the thigh with the back of his hand as he drops down in the chair between Zach and Carter. “What’s up, Va-jay-jay?” Cole drawls, drumming on the arms of the chair. “Saw you on TV. Evangeline tore that Kelly lady a new one.”
“That lady is a psycho,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Mom’s trying to figure out where the hell those pictures came from.”
“Could’ve been anyone at that dinner.”
“Problem is, everyone at that dinner is affiliated with King Records.”
“Well, look who’s here. It’s Jaybird,” Ashton says, feigning excitement as she walks over and sits down on Cole’s lap. “Can I have your autograph? Not,” she sneers.
My eyebrows go up to my hairline. Now that the truth is out, I have to keep my temper in check. So, smacking the shit out of Ashton isn’t an option. I wouldn’t put it past these bitches to sell me out.
“Did you and Harper break up?” I ask Cole.
Keeping his eyes on me, he hooks his arm around Ashton’s waist and tugs her closer to his chest. “Yep,” he answers, popping the p, then turns to Ashton and winks. Gross.
I can’t get into it with Cole right now; I have my own relationship to deal with.
Logan walks up beside me, looking down at Zach. “You about ready to head home, little bro?” he asks.
“Nah, man,” Zach replies, looking at me briefly before turning his attention to Reagan. “I’ll probably just stay here tonight.”
Reagan smiles triumphantly, bumping her arm against Zach’s.
“What are you—” Logan starts, but I quickly cut him off.
“Reagan, if you touch him again, I swear to God I’ll pick up where I left off and make it worth the trouble.”
Zach scoffs. “But it’s okay for other guys to touch my girlfriend?” He hooks his arm around Reagan’s waist and she shoots me a look that says “Take that, bitch.” My knees buckle and it takes everything I have not to crumble right here in the sand.
“What are you doing right now, Z?”
Ignoring me, Zach twists the cap off his beer and takes a swig. “I’m drinking with my friends.”
I gesture to Reagan. “So, she’s your friend now?”
Zach shrugs and holds out his beer. “She used to be a good friend.” He winks and I want to throw up. I can’t decide if I should stay and fight or walk away. My gut tells me that neither is going to end well.
“Zach!” Logan admonishes. “What are you doing?”
“Fuck off, Logan,” Zach slurs, then shifts his angry scowl to me. “You, too, Jay.”
My head jerks back as his words slam into me, forcing the air from my lungs.
“No, you fuck off, Zach,” I yell and point my index finger.
I turn to face Cole with the unspoken question of “Are you just going to sit there and let him talk to me like that?”
Cole holds out his hands in defense. “Don’t look at me. I tried to tell him.”
“What is going on with you?” My eyes flick to Ashton.
“Nothing.” He scowls. He’s lying. I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“What are you doing with her, anyway? After all the shit she’s done to Harper. You’re being a dick right now. You both are.”
“Not everything is about you, Princess,” he clips out. “This isn’t a fairy tale, Jay. It’s real life. You of all people should know there’s no such thing as happily ever after.”
I suck in a sharp breath.
Wow.
Just wow.
“Jesus, Mackenzie!” Carter snaps out, slugging Cole in the arm. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Regret flashes in Cole’s eyes before he looks away. My gaze shifts to Carter who is shaking his head and silently asking me if I’m okay.
I’m not.
“Holy shit!” Ashton barks out with a laugh. “Her royal highness just got dumped on her ass.”
“Shut up, Ashton!” Cole snaps out, shoving her off his lap and into the sand.
“Ah—Cole! What the hell?” she shrieks and gets up to brush the sand from the back of her jeans.
“Looks like you just got dumped on your ass, Ashton,” Lexi says with a laugh.
“I’m over your bullshit, Cole,” Ashton says before storming off.
I turn to Zach and blink back the tears. My heart has shattered for the last time. “You promised,” I say softly. I need to get out of here before I lose it. Before I even realize it, I’m already walking through the gate. I’m aware of my phone vibrating in my back pocket, but I can’t bring myself to answer.
Rounding the corner, I see Grayson and Justin climbing out of Grayson’s truck. “Look at you, girl, all famous and shit.” Grayson laughs as he rounds the front of his truck, but his laughter quickly fades when he sees my expression. “What’s wrong?” He cups my face and frowns down at me with concern.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t speak.
“What happened?” Justin moves closer.
“Jay,” Cole calls out, the sound of his footsteps pounding against the concrete grow closer. “Hey—”
Pulling away from Grayson, I spin around and point a finger at Cole. “Get away from me!”
Cole’s eyes go wide. I’ve never yelled at him before. I’ve never even been mad at him before. Not like this. He takes a step back and shoves his hands into his hair. “Shit, Jay! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take my shit out on you. It’s not even about you—”
“Just shut up!” I shout, cutting him off. I press my hand over my heart and take a deep breath through my nose, slowly exhaling through my mouth.
“Jesus Christ! What the hell did you do to her?” Justin asks accusingly, stepping between Cole and me as Grayson pulls me back against his chest.
Lexi rushes past Cole and slams into me, wrapping her arms around me tight before looking over her shoulder at Cole. “I seriously hate you right now, Cole Mackenzie! I hope you get an STD and your dick falls off.”
I love her.
“Do you want me to take you home, Jay,” Grayson offers.
Levi walks up the driveway. “I got her, Gray.”
“No. I can drive myself.” I pull away and walk over to my car. As I reach for the door, a body presses against me from behind. “I’m sorry, Jay,” Zach pleads, burying his face in my hair.
“Sorry for what? For getting drunk and acting like an asshole? For humiliating me in front of our friends—who I pray didn’t have their phones out—as if I haven’t been humiliated enough today. For telling me in front of everyone that you’re gonna screw Reagan tonight? Or for basically telling me that she was a good screw? Which is it?”
Zach’s body leaves mine and suddenly he’s got me turned around, his forehead pressed against mine. “I’m sorry. That was a really stupid, fucked-up thing to do. I’m pissed, but I would never cheat on you. You know that, right?”
I lift my head. “Isn’t that what you wanted me to think?” I swing my hand toward the group gathered just a few feet away from my car. “You promised you’d never hurt me on purpose,” I say in a low voice.
“You hurt me!” he hisses, slamming his hands against my car, caging me in. “I’m the one who’s fucking humiliated.”
“Oh, was it your face being splashed all over the TV and social media? All over the world?”
“No, but you’re my girlfriend. It affects me, too.”
“You have no idea what I’ve been through today.” Grabbing the handle, I shove him back and open the driver’s door. “I’m leaving. Do you want a ride home or would you rather stay here and finish your night with a bang?”
“Fuck,” Zach growls under his breath, rubbing his temples. He sighs. “I’m coming with you.”
“SEE YOU LATER, Jay,” Logan says, climbing out of the backseat.
“Bye, Logan. Give Zoe a kiss for me.”
“Will do.” He closes the back door before jogging up to the front door and disappearing inside.
“This is where you get out, Zach,” I say, staring straight ahead.
Zach sighs and turns to me. “I love you, Jay. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I love you, too. We have a lot to talk about when you’re sober.”
“I know. I’m just confused right now.”
“No, you’re drunk. You want to break up with me, but you’re afraid you’ll regret it tomorrow—”
“No.” He shakes his head.
“Just tell me you’re not dumping me for Reagan.”
“What? No, Jay. I’m not—”
“I get it. You don’t want to be the asshole who dumped Jayla King—”
“Would you be quiet for a second and let me talk. I don’t want to break up with you. I don’t give a shit about Reagan. I love you. I just need to work some stuff out in my head.”
“Like what?”
“Like how to deal with the media shitstorm every time my girlfriend is out of my sight.”
“You deal with it by trusting me.”
“I do trust you, Jay, but seeing all of that play out on TV tonight, and knowing that it’s just the beginning, really freaks me the fuck out. That wasn’t high school drama on TV tonight. That was a whole new level of drama. I’m a little out of my league here.”
My stomach twists in knots. I want to burst into tears and beg him to change his mind, but I get it. “Okay.”
He leans over to kiss me, but I turn away and give him my cheek. “You’re not even gonna let me kiss you. You’ve been gone for three days.”
“Work your shit out first, Zach.”
“Fine. What the fuck ever.” He shoves his shoulder against the passenger door and climbs out, slamming it behind him and storming inside the house.
On the drive home, I realize Zach has a point. If being away from him is going to drive a wedge between us every time, is it even worth it?
Is love enough?
Is trusting each other even enough, anymore?
It’s not like I can wake up tomorrow and change who I am.
It’s another painful realization.
AFTER A LONG hot bath, I pull on a pair of leggings and a baseball tee, then slip on a pair of thick fuzzy socks. Grabbing my phone off the charger and a soft throw from the back of my sofa, I make my way out to my favorite spot.
I want to talk to Harper but she hasn’t come home from work yet. Mom’s in her room pouting because I don’t want to talk to her about my feelings. Between the media “shitstorm”—as Zach called it, Mom and Cam’s… relationship, Elizabeth basically calling me a whore, Cole’s hurtful words, and Zach’s “freak out,” I’m emotionally drained.
I light a fire in the small fireplace and curl up on my daybed, tucking my blanket under my chin. The air is damp and smells of rain. The dark gloomy sky is the perfect backdrop for my mood and the dozens of emotions swirling through my mind.
The patio door opens and a moment later Grace appears with a tray of coffee, tea, and a couple slices of her homemade banana nut bread, placing it on the little side table, before taking a seat on the edge of the daybed.
“I brought coffee, but I think tea would be better for you after the day you’ve had.”
“Thank you, Grace. Just what I need to get this pity party started,” I say sarcastically.
“Thanks for inviting me,” Grace retorts. “And you know I never show up to a party empty handed.” A snort bursts out of me. Grace giggles and then I lose it. I don’t know if I’m laughing, or crying, or crying because I’m laughing. Tears roll down the side of my face and into my hair.
“Are you okay?”
“God, no. I’m so not okay.”
“You need to talk to her,” Grace says, meaning my mom.
“I will. I’m not mad at her, Grace. I’m just… not ready to deal with her newfound relationship with Cam when my own relationship is falling apart.”
“I understand.” She nods and looks over my shoulder. I lift my head and follow her gaze to see Bass standing in the doorway.
“Princess, you look terrible.”
I snort again. “I feel terrible.” My voice is hoarse from all the ugly crying I did in the shower. “Welcome to my pity party.” I gesture to the coffee and banana bread. “There’s coffee, tea, and banana nut bread.”
“Then let’s get this party started,” Bass says, pushing himself off the door, snatching a piece of banana bread before perching on the edge of the daybed. Grace moves to the adjacent chair. “Tell me what happened with Romeo.”
“He’s freaked out, B. He tried to hurt me by acting like a dick in front of our friends, but when he realized I wasn’t gonna stick around and take his shit, he came after me and apologized. What can I do? He’s not used to this. Honestly, I wasn’t prepared either and I’ve been around it for most of my life. But no matter what kind of crap is being said on the Internet or the TV, Zach has to trust me.”
“That’s right,” Grace says.
“Come here, Princess,” Bass says softly, patting his lap and extending his arms. “Let me hold you.” A cuddle from B is exactly what I need. I crawl into his lap and he wraps his arms around me. “Marcus didn’t want this for you.” He rests his chin on the top of my head.
“No,” Grace agrees. “Marcus and Emmi had a hard time in the beginning, just like you and your Zach. Your mother had to put up with a lot of drama when she married Marcus. Women claimed they were having an affair with your father. Some even said they were pregnant with his child. The magazines even said he was having an affair with his nanny.”
“I didn’t have a nanny.”
“Exactly.” She winks.
“In our minds, we’re always playing out the what-if scenarios and how we’d react but when it actually happens, it never plays out the same way,” Bass says. “We act on instinct. I can only imagine Zach felt hurt and most likely insecure. Even though he trusts you, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t hurt or embarrassed. And it probably wasn’t good for his ego either. He’s the captain of the football team, the star quarterback with a promising football career and the most beautiful girlfriend in the world—”
I roll my eyes. “You’re laying it on a little too thick, B.”
“This is my story, Princess, so let me finish. Zach is the envy of all the guys, so imagine how he felt when that mess played out on TV in front of his friends, teammates, and peers. This is where your lives are different. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but this is what your life is like. Either he accepts it and learns to ignore the rest of the bullshit, or you have to let each other go. You’re both still so young and—”
“I love him, B,” I cry.
“I know you do, Princess.”
“But you’re right. This is my life. I can’t change it and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for being who I am.” I sniff. “I just wanted some normalcy. To be in high school with kids my own age. And to do things normal teenagers do. But you know what I realized? I’m not a normal teenager no matter what I do. Friends are overrated. High school isn’t something you experience—it’s something you survive. Forget this normal shit. I want a do-over. I want to go back in time to when my father was alive and healthy and no one knew who I was. I want my daddy back.”