“THAT WAS THE saddest thing I’ve ever seen,” I say to my dad as we enter our hotel room. Tossing my suit jacket, I loosen my tie before falling back on the sofa and propping my feet up on the coffee table.
“I know.” My dad sighs, making his way over to the mini bar and pulling out two beers. “I think we both could use one of these, don’t you?”
“I think yes.” He passes me a beer before dropping down on the sofa beside me and propping his feet up, mimicking my pose.
Before today, I can’t remember the last time I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit Jay’s eulogy shredded me. I doubt there was a dry eye in that church by the time she was done. I’m surprised she was able to speak and even more surprised that she held it together for as long as she did. There’s no way I could get up in front of all those people and talk about losing one of my parents. When she went on about being heartbroken and described her pain as “so fierce it hurts to breathe,” that’s when I lost it. That kind of heartbreak is a whole different kind of pain.
I feel like a giant douche for whining like a little bitch, for the past six months, over my own heartbreak. It feels so insignificant compared to hers. Just the thought of losing someone I love makes me tear up all over again.
“You want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“Whatever’s on your mind.”
Exhaling deeply through my nose, I say, “I feel so bad for her. For the whole family. The Kings. The Mackenzies. Grandma and Pop. Uncle Cam. They were all close to him. We should’ve been sitting up front with our family, showing our support. Mom, too. Whatever her issues are with Emerson, they should’ve been set aside long enough to pay her respects.”
“I agree, but it isn’t up to us to decide that.”
“Have you ever met Marcus King before?” I ask.
He nods. “Once.”
I raise my brows, intrigued. “Really? When?”
“A few years ago. He had a friend who needed some legal advice, so Mimi sent him to me.”
“What was he like?”
“He was exactly the way Jayla described him. He was a great guy. Laid-back, kind, genuine. And he loved the hell out of his girls.”
“I think Jay hates me,” I blurt out. Shit. Why did I say that?
“Why’s that?” He chuckles.
I shrug, picking at the label on the beer bottle.
“Look at me, Zach,” he commands. I do. “Why do you think she hates you?” He raises his eyebrows. “Did something happen?”
I turn my focus back to the label. “Yeah,” I breathe.
“Did you—”
“Yes,” I answer honestly, before turning to look at him. “Please don’t say anything to Mom.”
“I won’t.” He nods slowly. “But why do you think she hates you?”
“Because she hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts since we got back from St. Thomas. Then she blocked me.”
His brows shoot up to his hairline. “Wow. Sounds like she does hate you,” he says with a laugh. “What did you do?”
I drop my head back against the sofa and blow out a breath. “I have no idea. That’s what pisses me off the most. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Jay’s not the type to let something go without having her say. If I did something, she would’ve called me up and told me what I did and given me the chance to make it right.”
“Maybe she wasn’t the one who blocked you. Maybe it was Marcus or Emerson. They’re pretty protective of her.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I figured if they ever found out the truth about Jay and me, most likely Cole would too. And if he knows, then either he doesn’t care or he’s just waiting for the right time to punch me in the junk. Knowing Cole, I’d say it’s the latter.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve been trying to move on for the past six months, but I can’t. Seeing her again has brought all those feelings back. I’m not over her. And I’m not ready to be over her.” My dad just nods in understanding. “I know it sounds crazy and stupid because I’m only seventeen, but she was my first love, and I’m still in love with her.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid, Zach. Your mom was my first love. I’ve loved her since we were in elementary school. She was my best friend, and I didn’t realize I was in love with her until we were in middle school. I was shy, like you, and I was afraid if I told her how I felt, she wouldn’t be my friend anymore, and I’d lose her for good. If anyone understands young love, it’s me and your mom.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter. She lives three thousand miles away. And let’s not forget that she blocked me from her life.”
“Maybe she did. Maybe she didn’t. Talk to Cole. See if he knows anything.”
“I can’t risk losing my best friend. Jay is like a sister to him. He’s very protective of her.”
“Aren’t you dating Judge Vaughn’s daughter?” he asks.
“Reagan, yeah. She’s cool, and we have a good time when we’re together, but it’s not serious. We’re fine with the way things are. Does that make me an asshole?”
“No. High school relationships aren’t exactly built on love, Zach.” He chuckles. “You’re teenagers. You’re supposed to be dating and having fun, not proposing marriage. But while you’re dating her, you’d better respect her. I don’t need to be on Judge Vaughn’s shit list.”
I smile. “I know.”