“I’M READY, Z,” Jay says, holding out her hands. Tossing the magazine on the coffee table, I reach for her hands and she pulls me from the sofa and out the door. “Where did you park?” she asks once we’re outside.
“Cam dropped me off. Give me your keys. I’ll drive.”
Letting go of my hand because she needs both of hers to dig through her large purse, she pulls out her keys.
Surprisingly, the weather has cooled down, so we sit outside on the patio under one of the umbrella-covered tables. “You okay?” I ask cautiously.
She furrows her brows. “Yeah, why?”
Shrugging, I lean back in my chair. “Just asking.”
“I got a note from my dad this morning. His notes always make me a little sad, but not like before.”
“Before what?” I realize my mistake and so does Jay.
She narrows her eyes and studies me for a moment. “Who told you?”
“Does it matter?” I pause. “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought there weren’t supposed to be any secrets between us.”
“Tell you what? That I got so sad that I made myself sick and ended up in the hospital? That my family probably thinks I did it on purpose?”
“No one thinks that.” Reaching across the table, I take her hand, urging her to stand and guiding her around the table until she’s sitting in my lap. I curl my arms around her waist and press a kiss below her ear. “Hey.” I take her chin between my fingers and turn her face to me. “I know my girl would never intentionally hurt herself. I get it. You were sad. I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“It hurt so much, Z,” she says with a shaky breath. “I couldn’t get out of bed. All I wanted to do was sleep away the pain until it didn’t hurt anymore. Some days I’d try reading a book to escape reality for a few hours. Those were my good days. Grace would bring me food and water, but I guess I wasn’t eating or drinking enough. I felt weak and just so tired. My mom blames herself for not paying attention, but it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We were all sad. Sometimes we just get so caught up in our own pain, we forget about everything and everyone else. We lose the ability to care. That’s what happened. I stopped caring.”
Our waitress brings our food and sets it on the table before scurrying off. Jay stands from my lap and moves back to her seat.
We pick at our food in comfortable silence and after a few minutes I ask, “What did the note from your dad say?”
She smiles. “That he wishes he could be here to see me dressed up for my first high school dance. And that my date better keep his hands to himself.” She snorts. “I swear, every time I read one of his notes, it’s like he’s right there reading it over my shoulder and I imagine the sound of his voice as I read it. I look forward to his notes because it feels like I’m getting more time with him. Does that make sense?”
“Of course, it does. I’m sure your dad’s intentions weren’t to upset you, but to remind you he’s here with you for all the special moments in your life.”
“What scares me the most is what happens when there are no more notes? I’m not sure if his notes are helping me or hurting me. Am I only getting by because of his notes, or am I healing because of them? Either way, I don’t want them to stop. I guess that’s something I need to talk to Dr. Ramos about.”
“Who is Dr. Ramos?”
“She’s my therapist. And I’m pretty sure Liam is fucking her.”
I cough out a laugh. “Wow. Okay.” I glance at the time on my phone. “What time do you need to start getting ready?”
She smiles knowingly. “Dinner is at five, so I need to start getting ready around three thirty.” She looks down at her watch. “It’s one thirty,” she says, scooting back from the table. “That gives us a couple of hours of play time.”
Yes!
I jerk to my feet. “Cam took off with my grandparents for the day, so we have the house to ourselves.” Pulling some cash from my wallet, I toss it on the table and take her by the hand. “Let’s go.”
“GET NAKED,” I command, toeing off my shoes and pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it next to hers on the floor.
“You are so freaking hot!” Jay purrs from the middle of my bed where she lies naked as a… well, a Jaybird. Her hair is fanned out over the pillow and her arms are stretched over her head.
I shove my jeans to the floor and kick them to the side before crawling onto the bed. I pause, hovering over her. “You’re beautiful,” I say, rolling to my back, bringing her with me so she’s straddling my hips. She leans forward, placing one hand on my chest, the other guiding me to her entrance. Her mouth parts slightly with a small gasp as she stares down at me with a mixture of love and lust swirling in her blue-green eyes.
I’m still amazed that this beautiful girl loves me. And she’s mine.
A flash of movement in my peripheral vision has me turning my head slightly in the direction of the bathroom where I see Logan standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and mouth open in the form of an “O”. Damn. I forgot about Logan.
There’s nothing I can say or do because the tingling sensation at the base of my spine renders me speechless. I’m past the point of no return. Closing my eyes, I bury my face between Jay’s breasts and let go with a growl.