Chapter Ten
It took a good while to get to Donovan’s room through countless hallways, stairwells, and corridors. “Seriously. Does the stronghold really need to be this big?”
Donovan laughed. “Maybe not, but I fancy the stronghold the way it is. Plus, this wing is mostly empty except for my personal quarters. A little privacy from the rest is sometimes very needed.”
I could definitely appreciate that.
He stopped in front of a thick wooden door. Its top was rounded in an arc, and a metal grate covered the tiny window in its center. There wasn’t a lock, but no one would enter his room uninvited. If they did, he’d scent them. Even if Donovan had been going easy on his pack since he’d joined the Seven, it wasn’t likely he’d be lenient enough to excuse that.
Donovan opened the door for me.
I gasped as I took in the room. I was expecting it to be small and—if I was lucky—to have an en suite bathroom. This was much bigger than that. More like an apartment than quarters in a stronghold.
I wandered in and started taking stock. He had an office with a library off to the left. A kitchen with a well-stocked fridge. A guest room was down the hall to the right, and his room was at the end of the same hall. But what I didn’t see were any pictures or paintings. No knickknacks on the shelves or tables. The colors were all dark—deep burgundy, navy, and forest green—and the furniture was dark wood. They were mostly antiques and the quality of everything was amazing. Especially the embroidered silk duvet cover. But it all felt a little serious. None of it reflected the Donovan that I knew. His easy smiles and soft nature weren’t reflected at all in his dark, stuffy apartment. I glanced back at him, trying to see how he fit in here, and he didn’t. Not to me anyway.
The writing desk that faced a window was the only thing that felt like Donovan. It was a lighter amber color, and sturdy, without all the curving flourishes of the rest of the furniture. One side had gouges from the claws of a certain pissed-off Were. I ran my fingertips over the grooves, wondering what could’ve made Donovan so mad.
On the desk stood the only picture in the room. It was an antique black and white photo of a beautiful woman. Curls flowed down her back as she laughed at the camera, her grin frozen in time. I knew that smile.
“Your mother?” I asked, holding out the frame for him to see.
“How’d you know?”
“The smile and her eyes. You look a lot like her.”
“Ah. Yes. I favor her over my father.”
I put the silver frame down carefully, placing it back where it belonged, and turned back to the room.
A flat screen TV hung above the fireplace in the sitting area. It was the only thing that hinted we were living in the modern era. That made me a little nervous. Some Weres thought technology was a luxury, but for me, it was a requirement.
Donovan was leaning against the doorjamb between his room and the hall when I finally turned to him. “It’s nice.” My voice went up at the end and I winced.
He chuckled. “You can change it as you like. I’m not too keen on decorating. I let someone do it a long time ago and left it. But I want this to feel like home for you.”
I looked back over the room, now trying to see myself there. I didn’t. “You won’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Living here was going to be an adjustment, but I’d make it work. My bags sat on a bench at the foot of his bed. I strode to them to grab out my phone and computer. “What’s the Wi-Fi password?” I said as I sat on the bed and powered up my laptop.
His hands were on his hips as he looked down at me. “Ehm…”
Oh no. I didn’t like the sound of that. “No big. I can get a wireless router. You have an Ethernet jack, right?” I was sure I could find one in the little town that we’d passed on the way to the stronghold.
“Ehm…” He scratched his head. “Well, to be honest…”
My hands tightened around my laptop and I heard a tiny crack. I placed it on the bed beside me before I seriously damaged it. I counted to five and took a breath before speaking. “You do have internet. Right?” I mean everyone had internet. It was essential to life. I knew I couldn’t survive without it.
“There’s a computer in the pack library. It’s got some service.”
No. That wasn’t going to work. “You have a flat-screen TV, so you must have cable.” Depending on the service, we could get internet installed no problem.
“DVDs.”
I couldn’t even with that. Not with the jet lag and the mad wolf and the murder scene and…
Time to regroup. I just had to think… “I can fix this. I just need a second.” Come on, Meredith. Who did I know that could help upgrade a castle of this size to the modern era?
“There’s this IT specialist, Sophia, in the Arizona pack. She upgraded our system a couple years ago. I’ll call her and we can get this place wired.”
Donovan winced. “Might have to wait until other things get sorted first.”
Right. We’d hunt down John’s murderer, figure out a solution to the Vivian mess, and then get Wi-Fi. I’d be without for like a month. Tops.
I checked my phone. I had a signal. Data was roaming and I couldn’t even load a Google search, but at least I could text and make a call. Or so I hoped. Because if I didn’t have that…
I’d survive. Yes, I’d be super behind on this season of Escaping Polygamy and I didn’t even want to think about Life in Pieces or Jane the Virgin, but I’d catch up. The hardest part was going to be the lack of Skype. No calls to my friends. No chats with Ciara or Max. I was totally cut off from my friends and family, with a hostile pack and no TV to give me any relief. “I’ll find the library later and email Sophia. We can have her come in a few weeks.” Getting that locked in would at least give me a light at the end of the tunnel.
Donovan pulled me up from the bed, rubbing his hands up and down my arms as if to soothe me. “We’ll get it sorted. I want you happy and comfortable in your new home.”
“I will be.” At least I hoped I would be. Right now, this place wasn’t home to me at all. I hadn’t even been here a day, so that made sense. But I’d figure it out. I just had to give it some time.
While we were on the topic of making this my home, I wondered when Donovan was thinking of making us official. Before John died, we’d talked about waiting a while. I had a feeling that had changed. “Now that I’m here, should we go ahead and have our ceremony?”
He let out a relieved breath, and I knew I’d asked the right question. “Next full moon is in three weeks. I’d like to be here until then. The pack needs me, and it’d be better if you were Irish pack, too. Do you mind moving it up?”
“That’s fine,” I said the words, but I wasn’t sure if I meant them. Not that I didn’t want to have the ceremony, but having it meant saying goodbye to my family. When I left, I hadn’t realized I wouldn’t ever be going home again. Not that I couldn’t go home physically, but it wouldn’t be my home pack anymore. I wouldn’t be a Wayfarer. I’d be an outsider. I’d known, it might have changed the way I left. I could’ve at least brought Max to Ireland with me.
My heart was heavy for a second before I pushed the ache away. This was part of being a female Were. You had to adapt to your mate’s pack. I knew this. The reality was just a little more bittersweet than I’d imagined. “I need to know more about your pack. At home we have files on everyone who is and ever was a Wayfarer. I’m assuming you have something like that?”
“This way.” Donovan led me back into his office. “There’s another set of files in the library, but these have my personal notes. Might come in handy.” He strode to a tall metal filing cabinet and gave it a pat. “Everything’s in here. I’ve got journals about pack business through the years, which you’re welcome to as well. Hazel’s got the accounting, but you can ask her about that.” A little crinkle formed between his eyebrows as if he wanted to ask something.
“What?”
“Didn’t Shannon talk to you about our pack? Give you any hints about who to avoid or who to befriend?”
Whoa. That was a blast from the past. Although it hadn’t been that long since she left St. Ailbe’s, so much had happened that it felt like a million years ago. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that…” Shannon was always a bit prickly, even when we were little, but I’d just brushed off her moods. When Tessa came to St. Ailbe’s, Shannon’s jealousy had given her a particularly vicious edge. Still, it’d hurt when she left school. I hadn’t understood it at the time, but now that I had some distance, I finally got her reasoning a little. “She didn’t come back here?”
He shook his head. “No. Shannon was supposed to report to me when Michael threw her out of the St. Ailbe’s satellite pack, but she broke her bond with the Irish pack and went rogue with the others who left St. Ailbe’s that night. I’ve been planning on going after her, but haven’t had a moment. Since it was only her that left, I figured I’d give her some time to cool off. I’ve a feeling she’ll show up here, eventually.”
Oh, boy. I hated to be the one to break it to him, but the Shannon I knew wasn’t ever coming back to the Irish pack. Not as long as I was here. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“Why?”
Shannon was going to hate me for telling Donovan this, but she probably already did. “When Tessa showed up at St. Ailbe’s, Shannon was upset. She wanted Dastien for herself and couldn’t get over the fact that Tessa was his mate. I tried to calm her down, but it only got worse. After my curse was broken, she wasn’t the same with me either. We’d been friends since we were kids, but suddenly I was her enemy.” I shook my head as I thought back. “The problem with Shannon is that she was never happy. Not since we met when we were kids. She was always upset with someone in her pack. Nothing was ever enough. She was the only one from the Irish pack to come to St. Ailbe’s, and when I brought that up, she only said she came because she needed more options for mates. She’s kind of a snob and felt that she was destined to be with some super awesome Alpha.”
“Ah.” Donovan sighed. “I’m not liking where you’re taking this.”
“Me neither. But after the curse, everyone knew you and I were mates. That’s the only thing that changed, and I think she was jealous. Another super strong, amazing Alpha was stolen from her. And since she was more alpha than me, it must’ve really annoyed her. I was lower than her. She should’ve gotten someone first. But that’s not what happened.” I bit my lip as I thought about those last few weeks with her. She’d been pretty hostile to me, and I hadn’t been able to figure out why, after so many years, she’d decided to hate me. “I doubt she’s coming back to Ireland. Not unless she gets really desperate.”
Donovan leaned against the file cabinet, crossing his arms. “She wasn’t on my list of possible mates, if you’re wondering.”
I almost laughed. “No. I wasn’t wondering. I don’t think she even wanted you. She just didn’t want me to have someone better than what she got. Picking a mate was about power and status for her.” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Shannon really rarely talked about Ireland. We mostly talked about school, boys, and whatever gossip was going around campus.” I hoped Shannon would be okay, wherever she ended up. I wanted her to find her slice happiness.
I glanced over at the files. “What all do you keep in there?”
Dastien opened a drawer and pulled out a thick book. “This is our roster. It has comings and goings as well as marriages. Those kinds of things.” He put the book back. “Any Were who has ever been in my pack has a file. Some are thin. They might only have records of marriage, their children, or their profession. Others are thicker. Those are the ones who’ve been in challenges. Fights. Any issues with the pack are recorded.”
I gave the cabinet a stare. “Any chance you can narrow it down? Where should I start?”
“Course I can.” He slid open the top drawer and handed me a file. “This covers the top five in the pack. There are more extensive files on each of them in the bottom drawer. I like to keep track of the higher-ups.”
That was normal, but I was looking for something else. “What about any problem people? People who’ve either been in a lot of fights, caused drama, or disrespected your authority. I’d love to look at those files first.”
He froze. “You can’t possibly think that one of my own killed John.”
I did. It felt like the most obvious answer. “Can you rule it out?”
He rubbed his forehead. “I haven’t been back in a while… Maybe over a year now that I think of it. And then it was just for a week or two. It’s been like that going on three or four years.”
Whoa. “So in the last four years, you’ve been home maybe a month or two?” That was way longer than I’d ever heard of an Alpha leaving their pack.
“It’s been busy. I—” He lifted his hands and then let them fall. “I’ve no excuse.”
I reached out to him and grabbed onto his wrist. I was going to ask a hard question, and I wasn’t sure how he was going to take it. “It’s just you and Mr. Dawson who are Alphas and members of the Seven, right? Muraco was never the Alpha of the Peruvian pack?”
“That’s right. Muraco was the second for a while, but since his mate died, he’s let that go.”
“And the St. Ailbe’s pack is just a satellite pack. It’s a secondary pack for everyone there, and it’s only for the school year. And he only just joined the Seven. So really, you’re the only one who has two full-time jobs? And you’ve been doing that for a very long time.”
“Yes. That’d be accurate.”
Now for the hard part. “Have you ever thought there’s a reason why the other members aren’t pack Alphas, too?”
“I cannot give up my pack. This is my home. I’ve built it myself. I’ll not leave it.”
I understood loyalty, but Donovan had left his pack alone for years at a time. That was too long to keep it in any kind of healthy shape. “The pack could find another place to live.”
His eyes widened. “Throw them out? It’s my home, but it’s theirs, too.”
“What about leaving the Seven?”
“I can’t. The bonds and oaths I made, I’m not sure if they can be undone.”
I had no idea what joining the Council of Seven involved, but it had to be big. “What does your gut say?”
“Leaving the Council could be a possibility. Might take some doing, though. I’m not sure what would be required.”
I gave his wrist a squeeze before letting go. “I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do, but this isn’t working.”
He moved away from me and sat on his desk. “I know. I was worried about being able to balance the pack and being on the Council. I almost didn’t join the Seven. John convinced me I could do both. For a while, the pack was fine. At least I thought it was fine. But without John…”
I didn’t know what to tell him. Maybe he was right and everything had been working for a while, but it wasn’t anymore. Something had to give. “That’s enough heavy talk. We’ll figure out who killed John and get the pack bonds fixed, but eventually, you might have to choose. I just want you to be aware.”
“I know. I don’t want to have to choose. I honestly don’t know what I’d do.”
I didn’t have any answers for him. He was in an impossible situation with a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. More than any other Council member. “We’ll figure out what’s best for us. There’s no rush for you to do anything yet.” I waited for him to say something, but he was quiet. “I’ll go through your files, but first—food? Sleep? Shower? Maybe not in that order.”
“Aye. How about you shower while I fix us some food? We’ll get you settled and then I’ll have my shower.”
We moved back through his rooms. I grabbed my toiletries and pajamas out of my bag and went to the bathroom.
The shower took forever to warm up, but once it did, steam filled the room. As I showered, I thought about the pack that I’d soon be joining. I hated to be the bad news bear, but the Irish pack was in terrible shape. Donovan had to make some changes if there was any hope of healing the pack. He’d been gone years. Plural. He was the Alpha. He couldn’t be gone for that long and expect everything to be okay.
Donovan was going to have to give up something, and I hoped I could help him make the right choice. Even bringing the subject up was complicated. I was so much younger than him and had way less experience, but I was his mate. If I saw something going wrong, then I had to speak up. I just didn’t want to see him unhappy, and right now, I knew he wasn’t happy. He needed to learn to slow down and enjoy life.
I let the shower wash away my worries for a second. The more I got to know Donovan and everything he was dealing with, the trickier it all became. I wasn’t sure how much wisdom or guidance I had to offer him, but I knew I cared about Donovan more than anyone else and I wasn’t about to sit idly by and watch him suffer. Not while I had air enough to breathe.