MATEO
I can’t breathe.
It’s been five long, miserable days since the bomb dropped. Which means five days of stewing over what I should do about this entire situation when I have no idea where to start. Especially Camille. No matter how many times I tell her we aren’t getting married, she still believes in her heart of hearts that it’s the two of us for the long haul, that she’s going to be walking down the aisle.
The ache in my chest stands as a reminder that, even though I’m the devil, I can still feel pain when it comes to the little female three doors down from mine. The same female who has my gut twisted into knots. It’s hard to explain. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this with her. She was only supposed to become my wife on paper, but never, ever, in real life.
But now, it’s fucked.
I’m fucked.
This entire situation is fucked.
It isn’t that she’s incapable of committing; that never crossed my mind. It’s the fact that I’ve never been held accountable for another female in my entire life. It all comes down to me taking the risk of actually allowing someone in my life after living so long by myself.
I know I need to explain myself. I know Carina is waiting for me to come to her. But, I can’t bring myself to do that. Call it pride. Hell, call it anything you want to. I just can’t bring myself to explain myself to someone like her—someone who could potentially ruin everything.
“You look like shit, man.” Raising my head, I glare at Dom as he walks through my office door, closing it.
“Tell me how you really feel, asshole.”
Silently stewing, he takes a seat in front of my desk. It’s clear he wants to say something to me, but he’s thinking of the right way to approach the situation. With me, he knows it can go either way if he goes off the rails and just starts demanding shit. Dom and I have known each other for a long time, ever since we were children. His father and mother did a business deal with mine, and they were fast friends ever since. So, instead of four brothers, in my mind, I have five. Domino is as much a part of this family as Vinny, Giovanni, Lucio, and Gavino. He’s also the deadliest, which has him on a tighter leash than the rest.
There are things Dom does that simply freezes the blood in my veins. I thought Gavino was bad, but seeing Domino in action is much, much worse. He has no regrets for anything he does, and he will do anything to protect the ones around him. He’s a complete and total psychopath, and he relishes in the thought of being considered as such. Carina may think she’s found a friend in him, but I can assure her, Dom has something up his sleeve. He never does anything that doesn’t directly benefit him. And, when he does act, people better watch out. He will stop at no length to get what he wants.
“You’re strung out over her,” he finally says, meeting my eyes.
“Strung out? Over Carina?” I ask in disbelief. “Are you testing your product again, Dom? Listen to what you’re saying.”
“I know good and goddamn well what I’m saying, Teo. All I’m saying is she’s different. Good, but different.”
“What do you mean, ‘different’?” I ask, scooting to the edge of my seat.
“She and I have been talking,” he retorts, causing my blood pressure to rise. I know they’ve been friendly, but I didn’t know he’s been talking to her by himself. It should upset me, but knowing Dom, he has ulterior motives for getting Carina alone. Besides, I know he would never do anything to betray me.
“And?”
“I believe there are things you should know about your little wallflower.”
“Get to the point,” I blaze, narrowing my eyes in warning. Domino, especially, knows I hate when people dawdle with information that’s impertinent to me. I start getting trigger happy when that happens, and he should know better than to pique my interest, then draw out the inevitable.
Sighing, he squares his shoulders. However, just before he gets it out, the doors to my study open, showing me the rest of my brothers. Vinny and Giovanni look right as rain, whereas Gavino and Lucio, the eldest of the four, look like they saw a ghost.
“Hold that thought.” I hold my finger up toward him, gesturing to my brothers to come inside. Once they walk in, Giovanni checks the halls before he slams and locks it. “What’s going on?”
“Finally got that paperwork from John. It was messengered just a little while ago,” Gavino replies, taking a seat.
“About fucking time. I’ve been waiting on this shit for almost a week. Stubborn asshole has it coming,” I spit in anger.
When no one says a word, frustration starts getting the best of me. Slapping my hand down on the elegant woodwork of my desk, I all but yell at them, “Well, what the fuck is it? You know I hate this pausing shit.”
Gavino sighs, sliding the paperwork across the desk. Instead of picking it up, I stare at him in silence before Lucio speaks so softly, I almost miss it. “Mateo … John. Gave. Him. Everything. Things we didn’t even fucking know existed.”
Glancing at Lucio, my brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean ‘everything’?”
I prefer to always be in the know. So, this new development leaves me teetering on the edge of sanity. Everything can mean nothing. Everything can also mean … well, everything.
“What I mean is this—we thought Pop was hitching you for connection purposes, when in reality … shit, man. This is bad.” I’ve never seen Lucio this rattled.
“Goddammit! What is it?”
Sighing, Gavino peers over at Lucio, and I can practically feel the fear leeching off him in waves of sickening proportions. I’ve never known Gavino to be scared of anything. Ever. And that includes the moment we had to watch in silence as our mother was murdered right in front of us. In fact, he’s the most fearless—besides Domino—out of all of us.
Meeting my eyes, Lucio’s silence says more than he ever could verbally. But once the words fall from his lips, my heart stalls in my chest as my entire world flips upside down once more.
“Carina is Reap.”
“What?” Clearly, they’re mistaken. This entire marriage was about gaining the alliance of Reap. About establishing a connection with the family to make sure he was on our side when shit got real. Now, my brothers are trying to tell me that Reap isn’t a he, but a woman—the motherfucking woman I’m intended to marry?
“According to the records the doctor gave your father, she has no fucking clue who she is,” Vinny informs me, leaning against the wall near the fireplace.
Slumping back into my chair, I eye each of them in turn, eyes the size of saucers. “I think I misheard you. Did you say Carina—beautiful, smart, innocent, broken Carina—is the thing every person fears? The fucking creature in the ghost stories parents tell their children to get them to be good?”
“That’s not the only thing we’re saying, Teo,” Gavino says, gesturing toward Vinny.
“What else could there be? That’s as fucked up as it gets,” I hiss, running my hand through my hair.
Sighing, Giovanni walks toward my desk, leaning his knuckles on it. “What Vin is trying to say, Teo, is that Carina’s not just the devil. She’s much worse. Her parents broke her, ripped her emotions out at an early age. Her father took her on her fist goddamn kill when she was just ten. Then, when we showed up on Christmas Eve, that’s the night he started punishing her. He did that shit to evoke the emotions he ripped away from her when she was little, but she’s so fucking unstable and thrives on the kill, she couldn’t make the transition without falling over the edge. That’s the reason she doesn’t understand or remember. It’s the reason Dom has been talking to her, but really, he didn’t even know the truth either. The reason she is the way she is now is because she’s feeling; she’s turned her emotions on. What her parents did to her brought out emotions she knows but has never felt before. She’s not broken, man—she’s lethal. And she has no idea how lethal she is.”
Dom chuckles, then almost outright starts laughing, which catches my attention. “Why are you laughing, dipshit?”
“Man, I wouldn’t want to be you right now.”
“Why?”
“Because the woman that makes the devil shit himself every morning—the woman we thought was a man who kills his way through the city with no remorse, is actually a woman with goddamn PMS that you and Camille screwed over. Dude, I don’t envy you—not one little bit.”
“Shut the fuck up, Domino,” I reply in exasperation. “I didn’t do anything. Camille said that shit to get a rise out of her and you know it. I would never marry that slut.”
“Yes,” he replies with a nod. “I do know that. But, does she?”
“Just saying, but you might want to make that right with her before she’s her old stabby self again. Lord knows what she’ll do with that piece of ammunition,” Giovanni inserts.
I know what will happen. He doesn’t have to say it. Just as soon as her memory comes back, we’ll fucking kill each other.