It was half-past nine, in the morning. Half an hour to go and Kaden would arrive. I was a nervous wreck, my stomach was swarming with butterflies, my hands were clammy, and my emotions were all over the show. 

Not to mention, I’m was still sore as shit from Thursdays Run. I still went for Drinks with Ben last-night, it was good fun, as I expected it to be when in the company of Ben. I was pretty sure the whole time we were out, we complained about our aches and pains, so we called it an early night. Deciding to do it another time, when we could function better. So, this morning much to my relief, I was without a hangover, which was a good start to my day, I was though, tempted to tip some whiskey in my coffee, knowing that alcohol would calm my nerves and possibly make me more talkative. But then I thought, I better not, because I didn’t want to embarrass myself either.

My room was now a tip, my floor looked like a dumping ground full of clothes, I couldn’t decide on what to wear, then I felt stupid because I didn’t need to look glamorous just for grabbing a cup of coffee. I’m dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, paired with some comfortable black Adidas trainers. A long sleeved, black and red top, with my coat to go over top. It was casual, and it was me, I shouldn’t dress to be someone I wasn’t.

I was nursing my second coffee this morning, which seemed to make me more anxious, plus, I was drinking way too much coffee.

I was the only one home, Callum and Josh were at a house party last night, so probably stayed over, because they were too drunk to get home, Caleb was, I had no idea where he was, and mum had gone to see one of her friends, like she usually did on a Saturday. I was glad that no one was home, especially mum, she would only embarrass me in front of Kaden, by saying how much of a cute couple we would make. She had been saying it forever and she knew it pissed me off, mind you it could why she did it, evil woman.

I heard his car pull up. He knocked on the door, but I made him wait a minute or two not wanting to seem too eager. Oh my god, I was being ridiculous, it was Kaden for fucksake, not the pissing Queen. Sighing heavily, I grabbed my bag and keys. Opening the front door, I said a quick hello and locked up behind me. He led me to his car, which of course was expensive, beautiful and huge, it was an Audi jeep of some sort, don’t mock me, I wasn’t a genius on cars.

“Nice car,” I complemented.

He smirked, opening the passenger door for me. “Thanks,” I climbed in and he shuts it behind me. He started the car and drove away from my house.

“Where to then?” I asked.

“To grab a coffee of course,” he winked.

“Oh, ha, fucking ha,” I rolled my eyes. “I meant where are we going for a coffee.”

“A café in the city. It’s nice and quiet, private too”

“Oh, um cool,” I replied. I had no idea what to say around him, I felt so god damn nervous.

“Stop being so fucking nervous will yah pretty girl, because your making me damned nervous,” he chuckled. Shit he could still read me like a book, I guessed I was that obvious.

“Sure, I am,” I told him. “You could never be nervous.”

“Oh, trust me Eva. I can be nervous, and you would be the reason to my nerves.”

“Why?” I asked. “Why would I be a reason to your nerves?”

“Because you’re a girl that’s worth impressing, always have been.”

I blushed furiously, “Thank you.”

The rest of the drive was filled with silence, but for once the comfortable kind.

When reaching our destination, Kaden pulled into an empty parking spot, outside a café, in which I presumed was the one we shall be going to.

Shutting of the engine, I unbuckled myself and went to open the passenger door when he beats me to it. He held his hand out for me, an invitation to help me out of the car. I placed my small hand in his big one, my skin tingled by the simple contact. I went to pull my hand away, but he tightened his hold, deciding I didn’t mind the warmth of his hand, I let him hold it.

He pulled us into the café, greeting the middle-aged man behind the counter by name which I did not catch, making it obvious that he was a regular to this place. I smiled politely at the man, he winked at me, I could feel my cheeks heat with a blush.

Kaden walked us to the back of the café, leading us to a tiny booth that gave us privacy from other customers.

I slid into the booth, and Kaden sat opposite me. Finally, having let go of my hand, I prayed he didn’t feel my clamminess, because that would be mortifying and very unattractive.

The middle-aged man came over to our booth, with a smile plastered across his features.

“Kaden,” he nodded. “You going to introduce me to your pretty little friend or are you going to be rude and keep her all to yourself?”

I chuckled at the man, extending my hand. “I’m Eva Grace, but just Eva will do,” he shook my hand, warmth filled his eyes. “Nice to meet you Eva, my names John.”

“How do you know Kaden?” I asked.

“Ah, I’ve known Kaden here since he first moved to London with his Uncle. His uncle and I go way back, good man, god rest his soul” I could hear the touch of sadness in his tone “Kaden use to come by almost every day, to give me a hand when the café got busy. He was a good lad, still is. How do you know our Kaden then?”

I told him how I came to meet Kaden through my oldest brother, but we lost touch when he moved back to New York. We chatted for a few more minutes, then John took our coffee order, leaving Kaden and I alone.

“Sorry about him,” Kaden muttered, a blush touched his cheeks. “He can talk some shit sometimes, he means well.”

“Hey,” I placed my hand on his. “It’s fine, I like him. He seems like a lovely man, I can see that he means a lot to you.”

“Yeah,” Kaden intertwined our fingers. “He does mean a lot to me, he’s family, and a good man.”

“Kaden, I um—”

“What’s up?”

“How did your Uncle die?”

“He died of a heart attack, the job got too much for him, stressed him the fuck out. Would never admit it though, didn’t want to worry me, the stupid fucker, if I would’ve known, I would have never of let him work that hard.”

“I’m sorry,” I squeezed his hand. “He was a lovely man. What did he do for work if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Now, now pretty girl,” he winked. “Questioning time is over.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “You know, you’ve never been one to indulge in your personal life, have you?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “What’s the point, in talking about a shitty past you can’t change. I prefer to keep the past, where it is. Maybe one day, I’ll tell yah, but I’d prefer I didn’t talk about my life in New York, ok?”

“Ok,” I told him. But thought to myself, damn him for being so secretive, then again, he may have had his reasons for it. I was keeping that in mind though, maybe one day he would tell me.

John brought over our coffees, I told him my thanks. Letting go of Kaden’s hand I took the cup in-between my hands, and brought it to my lips and took a sip.

“Mmm,” I groaned my appreciation. “This is good coffee.”

“Shit, Eva,” Kaden pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can’t do that!”

“Do what?” I arched a brow.

“Moan like that, fuck, especially in public. You’re doing things to me that I don’t think you would be happy about pretty girl.”

My cheeks heated with embarrassment. I didn’t realise I was so loud. I wasn’t sorry, he could piss off, it was good coffee and if I wanted to moan over coffee I would, ok, I realised that sounded stupid, but whatever.

“Shush it tastes good,” I told him. “It’s hard not to appreciate the taste of it.”

“For starters, you could’ve said it tasted good, not fucking groan like your about to have an orgasm.”

“You’re a pig,” I narrowed my eyes. “You can’t say shit like that to me, I’m your best-friend’s little sister.”

“But you’re also a grown fucking woman, who is grown up to be even more beautiful than what you were as a teenager.”

“Erm, thanks, I think,” I took another sip of my coffee, this time without any noises. I caught Kaden’s eye, and saw him laughing at me. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head chuckling.

Putting my cup down, I leaned forward on my elbows. “No come on, what’s so fucking funny?”

“You,” he smirked.

“What about me?” I cocked my head to the side.

“You’re still hot-headed.”

“I am not hot headed,” I frowned. “Your just an annoying prick.”

“See,” he waved his hand over me. “Your proving my point right fucking now.”

“Yeah, well maybe it’s because you bring out the worst in me,” I told him. “Do you ever think of it like that?”

“Nah,” he grinned. “I’ve always thought I brought out the best in you, sweet cheeks.”

“See, now your proving my point. You’re an obnoxious prick,” I threw my arms in the air.

“Don’t lie Eva, you missed me,” he winked.

Shaking my head, I admitted, “Yes, I did miss you. But I was also angry at you for so long for never ringing me, I may never understand your reasons as to why you didn’t, but I can forgive you.”

“One-day Eva, I’ll tell you everything, you deserve to know. But you’ll have to be patient with me,” he told me. “I’m glad you can forgive me, that means a lot to me pretty girl. I know we’ve got a long way to go yet, but us being here today,” he gestured around the café. “We needed this,” a lump of emotion formed in my throat, instead of answering, I smiled at him.

We drank our coffees and talked about memories of our childhood we shared. We both doubled over with laughter, remembering the time we watched a horror movie with my three brothers, they had gotten shit scared, so Kaden and I played a cruel prank on Josh, when he went to the toilet we hid behind the door, so when he came out of the bathroom, we jumped on him and he screamed and cried like a girl. It was so funny, I remembered us laughing for days afterwards.

It was good to see him and talk to him again. I still saw glimpses of the teenage Kaden I once knew. It was funny this morning, I was a nervous wreck thinking this would go horribly wrong, but now, now it had gone better than I had ever expected. He dropped me home at four in the evening, he kissed my cheek and told me bye, saying he would see me tomorrow for lunch, yet again mum invited him over for Sunday lunch, although I couldn’t say I didn’t mind, I was looking forward to spending more time with him, getting to know him again, maybe even becoming the friends we once were.

“What up!” Elaine exclaimed loudly, bursting through my bedroom door. Liv strolled in behind her, came over to my bed and plopped herself down.

“What do you two want?” I sighed.

“Oh, thanks,” Liv pouted. “Because that’s the way you treat your two bestest friends in the whole world.”

Shaking my head, I nudged her with my elbow. “Shut up you. You know I’m joking.”

“You better be,” Elaine warned. “Your mum let us in anyway. She could never send us away, she loves us.”

“I’m sure she does,” I rolled my eyes. Elaine stepped out of my bedroom door and shouted down the stairs, “Melody.”

“Yes, sweetheart” mum replied.

“You love me and Liv, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, why?”

“Nothing,” Elaine shouted, smirking at me. “Just wondering,” with that said Elaine shut my door, and threw herself on my bed. “Right, come on girl spill it, how’d it go with Kaden?”

“And don’t you dare leave out the juicy details, we want to know everything!” Liv beamed. These girls were ruthless, I couldn’t keep anything to myself, nosey fucking meres. I shot of with the story of us to catching-up but didn’t tell them about the private parts, because it wouldn’t be fair on Kaden and I wanted to keep that part for me alone, it seemed silly, but I loved that I was the only person that knew even the littlest things about him.

“He kissed you on the cheek,” Elaine raised her brows. “You fucking serious, that’s all you got?”

“We’re friends Elaine, that’s all we are and probably all we’ll ever be.”

Liv interjected, “I think that’s sweet and he acted like such a gentleman, it’s good that you’re getting back on track with your friendship,” she smiled. “I know you missed him.”

“You have no idea,” I admitted honestly. “It was so good to see him again, even after all these years. I know there was a time I held a lot of hatred for him, but I shouldn’t have. I had no idea what his life was like in New York, I still don’t. But from what Caleb told me, I can tell he had some rough years.”

“Just so you know, if he hurts you again, I’m going to castrate the bastard,” Elaine voiced in a serious note.

“Don’t worry,” I told her. “I won’t let my guard down that easily,” I laughed now. “Thanks though, I’ll give him pre-warning.”

“You know?” Liv told Elaine, “your kinda scary when your threatening people, remind me to never get on your bad side,” Elaine and I burst out laughing. Although, I had to agree, Elaine was scary when she got her claws out, but at least I knew she had my back.

Later that night, I read some more of Kyle and Lee’s story, I was addicted, when I said it was going to be my last chapter, I ended up reading another, this book was relentless on my emotions. Deciding I should call it a night, I turned off my tablet and placed it on my bedside table.

My phone vibrated, picking it up, on the front screen sat a text message from Kaden. My belly bubbled with excitement. Jesus, I needed to rein it in.

Kaden: I enjoyed seeing you today pretty girl.

Me: It was nice. I enjoyed myself.

I got a reply instantly. It was good to know, he was keen on talking to me like I was him.

Kaden: I’m glad you did. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

Me: You can’t?

Kaden: Nope I can’t, it’s been too long Eva. I plan on seeing you a lot, now that I’m back.

Me: I’d have to agree with that, it has been too long. You do? I’d really like that.

Kaden: Why is it your acting so surprised?

Me: I don’t know, I’m surprised you want to spend so much time with me.

Kaden: Pretty girl, I always want to spend time with you. As long as you’re not ‘moaning your appreciation’ around me again, we won’t have no problems.

I knew I shouldn’t egg him on, but it satisfied me to do just that. Bravely I typed back a reply, quickly hitting send before I chickened out.

Me: And why would that be a problem Kaden?

Kaden: I don’t think your innocent mind could handle it. But just know if you moan around me again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions. Good night Eva.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Now I wanted to know exactly what his actions would be, I was sure I wouldn’t mind them in the slightest.

Me: We shall see what the future brings then shan’t we. Good night Kaden.

Locking my phone, I pushed it underneath my pillow. I let out a breath, I didn’t realise I held in. Kaden got me all kinds of worked up.

There was truth to my last message that I had sent him. What did the future have in mind for Kaden and me? It was obvious there was a brewing connection between us, and we held attraction for one another, but what did it mean. We were supposed to be working on our friendship, not a relationship. It was confusing, because if both of us crossed that line, we could never go back to how we were or what we used to be. Was it a risk either of us were willing to take, god, I wished I knew how he felt about me, it was maddening. I pushed it to the very far back of my mind, finding it best to deal with it on another day.

The next day, I helped mum prepare Sunday lunch. My three brothers were in the living room, lounging around playing video games, which of course was no surprise to me, they were too lazy to help us and even if we did get them to help us with Sunday lunch I wouldn’t trust them with the simplest of tasks, I didn’t think I had ever seen them cook before, then again, I bet mum didn’t let them either, she would have no house left.

I had to make myself busy this morning, I couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night, I had too much on my mind. Especially, after seeing Kaden yesterday, I was overwhelmed with emotions, I wasn’t sure I was ready to feel yet.

I was excited to see him again today, but at the same time I didn’t want to see him. I wanted to know how he felt about me, whether he felt we had something more than friendship, he had only just gotten back. I felt stupid asking those questions, for all I knew he could laugh in my face and I would feel humiliated, I would probably never show my face around him again, I didn’t love him, jeez I wasn’t that romantically stupid. I did have feelings for him that ran deep, whether it was because I knew him as a child or maybe it was because I was just attracted to him. I didn’t know, it wasn’t even worth thinking about at the moment, it caused me one big headache.

I set the table, then grabbed my kindle and read for a bit. I needed a distraction, to keep my mind from dwelling on things. Reading was good, reading was an escape from reality, reading was always what I needed to make me feel better.

A knock on the door, startled me from my book and brought me back to reality. Caleb walked past the kitchen and grabbed the door. I heard him greet Kaden, then they entered the kitchen. Once again Kaden looked his handsome self, dressed in a pair of dark jeans, with a top that moulded to his lean body, fire ignited in my belly, he was so good-looking, it seemed unfair.

Switching off my tablet, I placed it in the draw. When I looked up, his eyes bored into mine, it made me feel nervous, yet desired. I couldn’t look away, even if I had wanted to, there had always been something about him, that drew me too him.

“Hi,” I smiled. “How are you?”

“Pretty girl,” he walked to where I was leaning against the kitchen counter and planted a kiss to my cheek. I tried to ignore the shiver that went down my spine, but it felt so good, I almost wanted to close my eyes because of the warmth of his lips, “I’m fine and you?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Did you sleep well?” he asked. My cheeks heated with embarrassment remembering our short conversation before bed.

“Kinder,” I laughed. “Did you sleep ok?”

“I would have. But someone’s messages kept replaying on my mind last night,” he smirked.

“Oh, erm, sorry.”

He laughed, “don’t be. I don’t mind you keeping me up at all Eva.”

“Ok,” I said. Unsure on how I should respond. This was what I meant by my feelings being very confused, in that moment, I was glad for my three brothers coming in the kitchen and breaking the tension between us.

Josh asked Kaden, if he wanted to join them in the living room to play video games, Kaden said yes. The way my brother asked made himself sound like a twelve-year-old, rather than my big brother. Josh, Callum and Kaden descended into the living room. Caleb stood in the doorway, leaning his shoulder against the frame, with his arms folded across his chest. I couldn’t read his expression, he masked his features.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“What’s going on between you and Kaden?”

“Nothing,” I told him. “Why would you think there is and why would it bother you anyway, he’s your best friend, isn’t he Caleb?”

“Yes, he’s my fucking best friend, but I also know I don’t want you hanging around him Eva.”

“Excuse me,” I sounded pissed off and I was. “He’s my friend to Caleb, we use to hang around with each-other when we were kids, what’s the difference now?”

“The difference is we grow up and we’re not the same people we use to be Eva. We change, he’s changed. I love him like family, but I’m doing this to protect you.”

I shook my head, “look I get that you like to protect me, I’m your little sister. But I’ll be honest your making me a little suspicious here, what the hell are you involved in with him?”

“Nothing,” he replied without hesitation. “Nothing, that concerns you anyway.”

“I can tell your lying, after all we’re family. But I’ll let it go and if I want to carry on hanging out with Kaden I will.” He went to say something, but I put my hand up stopping him. “I wasn’t finished. Look, I’m fine and I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl now, I don’t need protecting, for whatever reason you think I do. If I ever feel that I need protecting, then I’ll come to you. You know this Caleb, if I’m ever in trouble you’ll be the first to know, ok?” he thought it over for a second then nodded. Kaden chose that moment to come into the kitchen, he looked between Caleb and me, he clenched his jaw, then looked at Caleb “Everything alright?” Caleb turned his hard gaze from me to Kaden, “Fine,” then he left the kitchen and went upstairs to his rooms. Feeling confused, I looked to Kaden for an explanation “What was that about?”

He shrugged, “I’ll go talk to him.” He turned around and looked over his shoulder before disappearing, “Are you alright?”

I nodded, “yeah, I’m fine. Just wondering what’s up with Caleb.”

“I’ll sort it,” he said and left the kitchen. I stood there, slightly stunned and uneasy. Why on earth would Caleb warn me away from Kaden, that was his best friend, it made no sense.

I searched the house for mum and found her in her room, doing some ironing.

“Hey mum,” I smiled and sat on the end of her bed cross legged. “Should’ve said, I would’ve helped you with that,” I gestured to the pile of ironing.

“You know me, I enjoy a bit of ironing,” she said. “It’s relaxing”

“Yeah,” I told her. “Cause you weird.”

She laughed, “I am not weird, it gives me a little peace and quiet you know.”

“You saying we do your head in now mum,” I raised my brows.

“Shut up you, I didn’t mean it like that,” she slapped my arm playfully. “It’s relaxing, I used to find it relaxing when I done it with my mother.”

“Fair enough,” I shrugged. “What time we dishing dinner up then?”

“In half an hour,” she told me. “Why?”

“Just wondered,” I said. “I’m bored.”

She chuckled, “Go annoy your brothers then.”

“Yeah,” I climbed from the bed. “I might just do that.”

She laughed. I closed her door behind me, I was about to head down the stairs, when I heard raised voices in Caleb’s room.

“I don’t want her caught up in your fucking lifestyle, do you understand me Kaden?”

“Fuck off Caleb. You think I would put her in danger, because if you do, you don’t know me at all.”

“Shit,” Caleb said, sounding frustrated “I know you wouldn’t man. She just can’t ever know, alright?”

“She won’t Caleb,” deciding that I had eavesdropped enough. I made my way back into the kitchen. My head was all over the place from what I had heard. What the hell had those two gotten themselves into, and why was Kaden’s lifestyle such a secret. I was hurt, yet angry. But also, what did I do? Did I tell them that I heard, or did I pretended I never heard their conversation? They both would be extremely angry with me, if they knew I was eavesdropping, although they had no right to be angry with me, they were keeping something from me, obviously something dangerous. I had lost my appetite, I wasn’t in the mood for dinner, I might make up an excuse, to excuse myself from lunch say I felt unwell, but then would they know I knew. God, I felt like hitting my head against a brick wall, fucking Kaden and Caleb.

During lunch, I was quiet and picked at my food, I didn’t feel hungry. I felt Kaden’s eyes on me the whole time, but couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Caleb asked if I was ok, and I nodded. I didn’t feel like speaking to him either.

There words kept repeating in my head over and over, like a broken record. They made me angrier with every minute that passed. A part of me said to let it go and move forward and the other part of me said to push for answers, answers I knew they wouldn’t give to me. They would probably give me some bullshit line about it being in my best interest I didn’t know, I snorted to myself because I knew it was something they’d say.

After lunch, I made a bullshit excuse to leave the table, saying I had some homework to finish. Even though, I had done it all last-night when I had gotten home. I paced my room for a good hour, not knowing what to do with myself, deciding that I had enough with it all. I grabbed my running gear, got undressed and threw it on. Strapped my arm band on, put my headphones in and left my house, with-out a word to anyone.

I ran to the park, knowing my favourite route was in the woods. My pace was aggressive, I ran away the tension, I ran away the anger and I ran away the hurt that was creeping in. My head slowly became clearer with every mile I reached, I was hoping by the end of the route I would have the answers I needed. My breathing was coming out fast and sweat slickened my skin. I had run for over an hour, but it still wasn’t nearly enough with how I was feeling. I picked up my pace, even though my legs protested me. I kept pushing, I pushed past the burning sensation that had started in my thighs, I needed this, this would make me feel loads better at least I hoped so.

Finally feeling spent, I took a slow jog home. The sun was beginning to set, it set early during autumn, that was how I knew I had been gone a while.

Entering the house, I pulled the earbuds from my ears. I kicked of my trainers and walked into the kitchen, my three bothers and Kaden sat around the table with angry expressions, while mum looked sick with worry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“Oh, thank god,” she breathed. “You’ve been gone hours, why didn’t you tell us you were going out. We couldn’t get a hold of you on your phone.”

“Calm down,” I told her. “I’m fine, I went for a run and my phone was on airplane mode, I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“You selfish bitch!” Josh’s tone was filled with anger. “You could’ve at least told us where you were going Eva.”

“What were you thinking?” Callum asked just as angry as my brother.

“I was thinking I needed some time alone,” I shouted almost. “Why are you all making such a big deal out of this. I went for a run for crying out loud.”

“Eva,” Caleb warned. “You need to tell us when you’re going out, so we know where you are or at least send us a text letting us know you’re ok.”

“I’m eighteen,” I told them. “I don’t need to ask for permission.”

“Eva,” mum shook her head, she was so mad. “You may be eighteen and I’m not saying you have to ask for permission, but I was out of my mind with worry, for all I know something could’ve happened to you, you know London is not the safest place with all the crime that’s going on nowadays. What you done was selfish, you always tell me what you’re doing, you never just up and leave, I have a right to be worried I’m your mother,” she sighed. “Please don’t ever do that to me again, always and I mean always tell me where you are or when you’re going” I grabbed mum in a hug. When she puts it like that, I felt terrible, it wasn’t my intentions to worry or upset her. I told her sorry and she accepted my apology with a nod. Keeping me at arm’s length she smiled sadly. “No matter how old you are,” she looked at my brothers, “this goes for all of you, you’re my kids and I will always without a doubt worry about you and care for you. Because as mother it’s in my nature and because I love you.” 

“We love you too mum,” I looked to my brothers, they nodded their heads, their eyes were filled with emotion and love for our mother.

She told us she was exhausted and was going to lie down for a little while.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and gulped half of it down. My brothers didn’t speak just watched me closely. Kaden had his head in his hands, gripping his hair.

“Let’s give these two a minute alone,” Caleb told Josh and Callum, they nodded their heads. Caleb gave me a small encouraging smile and they left the kitchen. Not knowing why Kaden and I were being left alone, I decided to busy myself by making a cup of coffee, the tension in the room was thick you could cut it with a knife, my back was to him and the kettle was loud. But I knew he was behind me, I felt his breath tickling the back of my neck, he was breathing hard almost as if he was trying to contain his anger. Feeling bold I turned around, he was standing so close to me, I could easily lay my head on his chest, and now I was angry at myself why was I thinking about laying my head on his chest, I was pissed at him earlier, now I wanted to bask in his comfort, fucking weak arsed emotions I thought to myself. Craning my neck backwards, I looked into his hard, angry gaze.

“Why’d you go for a run?” his tone was low and angry, I felt like squirming.

“Because, I wanted to and felt the need to.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me Eva,” he clenched his jaw. “You said you needed to be alone. Why did you need to be alone?”

“Because I did ok!” I raised my voice. “It’s not really any of your business anyhow.”

“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth. “It is my business when you’re running off, without telling anyone where your fucking going.”

“I hardly ran off,” I snorted. “I went for a run.”

“Now you want to be sarcastic,” he grabbed my chin, forcing my head to be closer to his, the movement should have been rough, but it was gentle. “You make me really fucking mad Eva.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Well the feeling is fucking mutual!”

His lips came crashing down on mine, I froze because this, this wasn’t what I had expected. My mind may be angry with him, but my body had other plans. Closing my eyes, I leaned in to the kiss. His lips are demanding and in control, it was hot yet passionate. My hands found their way to his hair, gripping his strands, I tugged him closer to me. His hands gripped my waist, holding me flush against his body, the kiss was surreal, this felt surreal. It was one of those kisses you watched in the films, where it was passionate, lustful, demanding yet beautiful.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine, both of us breathing hard and heavy.

“I’m not sorry I did that,” he rasped.

“I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not sorry it happened,” I said honestly.

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that since we were teenagers. I’ve imagined it a thousand times” he admitted.

“You have?” I sounded surprised, because I was. I always thought he thought of me as the kid that tagged along with her brothers.

“Why are you so surprised?” he pulled back, looking down at me. “Your beautiful Eva, even more so now, that you’ve grown up. I shouldn’t have kissed you, it only makes things complicated.”

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because Eva, I’m not who you think I am,” he’s arms dropped from my waist as he stepped back. “Your brothers right you know, you shouldn’t be hanging around me.”

“I don’t give a fuck what my brother says,” I could feel my anger rising. “It’s not up to him and it’s not up to you either. I like being around you, I haven’t seen you for years Kaden, do you expect me to just leave you alone.”

“You should,” he raked a hand through his hair. “Shit, I should leave you alone, but it’s impossible to not be around you. I enjoy your company too much. But my lifestyle, my business. It’s not safe.”

“What the fuck are you on about Kaden?” I shook my head. “Because how is being a club owner dangerous?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then tell me,” I shouted almost. “Make me understand because right now you’re making no fucking sense at all.”

“I can’t tell you,” his body tensed. “If I tell you, it puts you in danger, I won’t do it. You deserve better.”

“Then why kiss me?” I threw my hands in the air.

“Because I’m a selfish asshole that’s why. I had to at least have one taste of something that I’ve been dreaming about for so long, but the only trouble is your addicting Eva. It was hard enough for me to break that kiss then, that’s why I’m walking away now, before I become more selfish and take what I want from you and once I do that, I’ll want it again and again.”

Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I would not give him the satisfaction to see me cry, I would not let him break me again. I made myself a promise, a promise I intended on keeping “Leave,” my voice came out stronger than how I felt. “Go, I don’t want you here,” he grabbed his jacket from the chair. His back was to me, standing in the kitchen door way, without turning he said “I’m really fucking sorry Eva. When my life isn’t a mess I’ll come and find you.”

I shook my head and whispered,“please don’t Kaden,” he hung his head dejectedly, and left.

I ran to my room and buried my head in my pillow and cried hard. I cried because I was angry, frustrated and hurt.

That night I fell asleep, with tears streaming down my cheeks. This was why I didn’t tell him how I felt, because even though he may feel the same way, something still held him back and he would never let me in that far.