Chapter 40

I got in my car and just drove around for a few hours, trying to clear my mind of everything that was happening. I found myself at Mika’s home and I had no idea how I even got there. I turned off the engine of my car, took a deep breath, and walked up the steps to his front door. I knocked and when he opened the door, he had the most perplexed look on his face, like I had done something wrong.

My eyes widened because I finally realized what I had done.

This was his home, the one he shared with his family. I backed away, trying to leave and he grabbed my wrist.

“They’re out of town,” he said. I nodded and we walked inside.

This was the first time I had ever been to Mika’s home. It was beautiful, there were pictures of them all over the walls, and toys scattered here and there. The furniture was simple but lovely. The home definitely had a female touch to it. My fingers ran lightly on every piece of furniture and I could sense Mika’s confusion. But this was my reality…I was also in love with a married man. I was no better than Ysabelle; we were one and the same.

I never thought that I would find myself in a situation that I couldn’t control and now it felt like it was everywhere around me. I was suffocating in it.

No one can hurt you as much as you can hurt yourself. I was punishing myself by going there. I wanted to feel the pain, to know that I was valid in all the arguments that I had with Ysabelle. I didn’t want her to feel this, I wanted better for her, but it didn’t fucking matter. It was the first time that I felt like I knew what it was to be a parent. You want what’s best for them…you put them first…

I am capable of love…and that scared me more than anything.

“What are you doing here?” Mika questioned, taking my attention away from the colored pictures on the fridge.

I looked at him and shrugged.

“Did you come here to fuck?”

I shook my head no.

“Then why are you here? That’s what we are to each other, Angel. Your words, not mine,” he viscously spewed.

This was Mika now. He was angry, resentful, and bitter toward me. I hadn’t seen him be vulnerable since the day at my office when he confessed everything to me. I walked out of my office and him and he has never forgiven me for it.

“Do you want me to make it go away?” he tested, walking over to me. I nodded.

He deviously smiled and put his left hand on the fridge by the side of my face. With his right hand, his fingers touched my cheek and then my neck. He gripped my throat and my eyes closed as my head fell back against the fridge. His hand continued its way down my torso, he was being tender with me, and I needed it so. He finally made his way to my pussy and lightly rubbed back and forth. My breathing slightly escalated and his mouth found my ear lobe; he bit and then sucked on it.

“You know, Angel…” he panted. “Every time I touch you…” I moaned, as his fingers slipped into my skirt and inside my panties. I could feel the moisture and wetness he was creating with his touch.

He nuzzled my neck with his nose. “Every time my fingers or cock touches your glistening cunt...” I groaned, I was on the verge of climaxing. “I see…her face…I see…Ysabelle.” My eyes immediately widened and all was lost.

I pushed and then slapped him across the face as hard as I could. And then the fucker smiled.

“If you wanted it rough, Madam, then all you had to do was say please.” He pushed against the fridge and his mouth attacked mine. At first, my body gave into him, until I couldn’t take all of the confusion anymore and I bit his lip, hard.

He backed away. “What the fuck?” he angrily yelled.

“Exactly! What the fuck?” I replied.

He walked over to the sink to rinse off the blood. “You know, I don’t fucking understand you. You can’t have it both ways and you can’t have everything you fucking want. I’m not made like that,” he roared, shaking his head.

“This was a mistake I shouldn’t have come here.” I quickly ran to the front door and he aggressively caught me by the waist and turned me around.

“You chose this! NOT ME!” he shouted, shaking me.

“I have given you everything, Mika!”

“Bullshit. You have given me nothing but your fucking pussy, and you give that to everybody.”

I pushed him again but this time I threw a right hook at him. He stumbled back and grabbed his cheek. I shook my hand from the pain.

“Have fun explaining that one to your wife,” I taunted and turned around and left.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

<>-<>-<>-<>

Seven months went by, and mine and Ysabelle’s relationship was getting worse by the minute. I knew it had something to do with Sebastian; the bastard was probably feeding her lie after lie about me. What I would have done to be alone with him, little did I know I would get just that.

I smiled when I saw her name come up on my phone, “Bella Rosa,” I answered.

“This is Sebastian,” he replied. I didn’t respond; something was wrong, I could feel it.

“Listen, I’m really sorry that I’m calling you. Ysabelle is burning up, I tried to break her fever and it’s getting worse.”

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” I replied and hung up. I immediately called the doctor on payroll to meet me at her condo. I was incredibly worried, a million thoughts raced through my head; the first, of course, being pregnancy. I sped all the way to her condo.

I waited in the living room as he checked on her, busying myself with a client on the phone. I called Mika but he didn’t answer.

I hung up as soon as I saw them emerge from the bedroom.

“Ysabelle has pneumonia. I got here just in time so there will be no need for hospitalization, someone will need to stay with her for the next few days, she won’t be able to fend for herself. Here’s the list of things that I have written down that need to be taken care of in order for her to heal,” he said, handing me the paper.

“I gave her shots for right now and they will have her out for most of the day; I called in the medication and antibiotics, someone will need to pick them up.” I nodded and handed him an envelope of cash. I shook his hand and he left without even looking in Sebastian’s direction.

He needed to know his place was not in Ysabelle’s life.

I turned to him, finally acknowledging him. “You can go now,” I demanded.

“Excuse me?” he remarked.

I could see in his eyes he was ready to have it out. He had no idea who he was fucking with.

“I’m here now, Mr. Vanwell, you’re excused.”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving.” For some reason, I knew he was going to say that.

“Oh really…” I mocked. “And what is it exactly that you will be telling your wife? You’re held up with your whore?”

He needed to get off his high horse and realize he was no better than me. We were each fighting for her, except I would play dirty; I would do anything to win.

“First off, Ysabelle isn’t my whore; and second of all, you will need to call the cops to get me to leave, and even then, I’d like to see them try,” he declared.

“You amaze me. Aren’t the lies getting a little much, I mean how stupid can your wife be that she hasn’t caught on to your little discretion yet? How much longer do you possibly expect this to continue?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” He was right; he didn’t have to explain himself to me. However, Ysabelle pretends like she is strong and capable. That’s what she’s conditioned to do, and I could see right through it. I saw right through her, because we were exactly the same person.

“No, darling, you don’t. Ysabelle isn’t as strong as she lets on; who do you think will be here to pick up the pieces when she’s no longer of use to you? I will! I have been here since the beginning, I have made her who she is, and I am not about to see someone with a midlife crisis take her away from me, do you understand me? I have let this go on long enough.”

“All that matters to you, Madam, is if the credit card clears. If you truly cared about her you would have never let her sell herself to these so called gentlemen that do nothing but use and abuse her,” he angrily replied.

The fucker had balls of steel; I’ll give him that…

I cocked my head back in laughter, aiming to intimate the bastard. “And you think you’re any fucking different, Sebastian, what the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re nothing but another man having an affair on the woman he has a child with. What? You didn’t think I knew…I know everything about the men that are with my girls,” I shouted, stepping closer to him.

He covered the shock on his face well. I could tell that he felt defeated though, and I needed to keep pushing those exact same buttons. The only thing that will make a person change is guilt and remorse; he had both.

“You think you’re the first man that has fallen for one of my VIPs? MY girls are the epitome of class and beauty, that’s why I choose them. Don’t think for one fucking minute that you’re any different than my so called gentlemen, as you so call them.”

“Ysabelle matters to me, I care about her more than she’ll ever even know. You know nothing about our situation.”

I knew everything about their situation. He had no clue how much I could relate to everything that they were both going through.

And here was my one big chance to prove my fucking point…

“Okay…I’m game. Leave your wife, Sebastian. Tell her and choose Ysabelle and I will happily release her to you,” I taunted.

I laughed internally because I already knew the answer; it’s always the fucking same.

“What’s the matter, Sebastian? Can’t come up with any excuses fast enough? I love Ysabelle like she was my own. Are you aware that she’s in love with you? That if you asked her, she would give this all up for you? I love her, but rules are rules. She can ask to be released anytime, and it would never occur to her to want to walk away from this, until she fell in love with you.

“If she didn’t want you to be paying for her time then she would be working and you would have no say in the matter. I’m letting this continue because she hasn’t said one goddamn thing about it. I’m not a monster, although, I am a business woman…in that sense you are right, I’m still fucking getting paid.”

Everything I spoke was the truth, I swear on a stack of bibles. If he had told me yes, I would have released her. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

He wanted to say so many things, but he was at a loss for words.

“Where’s your wife, Sebastian? I have been in this game longer than you have even been alive. You love your wife; I can even see it now while you’re standing here in your mistress’s home. It doesn’t matter which way you paint it…Ysabelle’s the other woman; she will always be the other woman. Now what you have to ask yourself is how you’re going to end it,” I cautioned.

Sebastian’s face reminded me so much of Mika’s in my office that day. I knew he loved Ysabelle, I won’t deny that. You always have a choice in life- always. He chose his that day. I knew it, he knew it, and soon, so would Ysabelle. It was coming; this wouldn’t last much longer.

“You’re wrong. I love her too. I fucking love her too. Don’t for one second think that I don’t. I know what I’m doing is wrong in so many ways, I don’t need you to remind me, I remind myself every day when I’m standing in front of the mirror.

“I do love my wife and I love my son, but what I share with Ysabelle surpasses anything that I’ve ever experienced with anyone, and that includes my wife. I’m at a loss, I have no fucking idea which way is up anymore. When I think about not seeing her beautiful face every day it destroys me. Call me whatever you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t walk away from her, no more than she can walk away from me.”

We stood there in a staring match before I finally broke the silence, “I have a nurse coming this evening; you have until then. I imagine that’s enough time.”

“I want to stay here the entire time, Madam.”

“I am not a marriage counselor, Sebastian, but you’re already rocking the fucking boat; how about we keep it in shallow water,” I said in an annoyed tone while grabbing my purse. “I’ll let myself out. Give Ysabelle my love and let her know I’ll be stopping by tomorrow.”

I knew I left him with a lot to think about. Sebastian wasn’t a bad person; he was just a man.

Selfish.

He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.