Apparently, you can actually overdose on binge-watching television — a fact I discovered after I watched an entire season in one sitting of Animal Planet’s Wild Nature.

I was missing my camera so much I’d take whatever I could get and I loved documentaries about animals.

But even as crazy as I was about both subjects, my eyeballs felt like dry marbles by the time I emerged.

Dex and Travis still hadn’t returned.

I tried not to worry — hell, if two trained assassins couldn’t take care of themselves, who could? — but what else was there for me to do but worry?

Extreme boredom sprinkled with caged-up anxiety was beginning to eat at my ability to entertain myself.

I wasn’t going to be so stupid as to walk down to the bodega to stretch my legs and score some chocolate but the urge was strong enough to make me glance longingly at the door.

Dex would flip his shit if he found out I’d left this building.

Things were topsy-turvy enough between us, I didn’t need to add to the drama.

I had this sense that Dex was pulling away again.

And there was some unspoken dialogue between him and Travis that made me uneasy.

I knew Dex loved me.

He hadn’t said the words but I felt it in his touch.

If I said that he couldn’t fake that kind of emotion I’d sound incredibly naive but my gut told me I was right.

Dex fucking loved me.

Maybe he didn’t want to but he did.

If he thought that I didn’t feel the possessive rumble in his chest when he thought Travis was flirting with me, he was nuts.

But I loved his possessive nature.

And before you start lambasting me for acting like a simpering female and demand I turn in my I-am-woman-hear-me-roar card, you have to understand that I’d spent my entire life feeling unwanted.

So, if I wanted to bask in the dysfunctional haze of my jealous lover, don’t judge me.

Who was I arguing with? Myself?

Fuck that. I refused to feel guilt for loving Dex just the way he was.

Sure, he was a dick at times.

I mean, a real, certified asshole but he was also tender, attentive, and ultra protective.

His gaze warmed my entire body when he looked at me with that intense hunger only I could satisfy.

And the sex? Well, what could I say? I was addicted to that D.

I could say without shame I’d try whatever Dex wanted.

Even if the butt plug thing had a tail!

It was amazing how quickly your life could change in an instant.

Before I met Dex...my life had been so sad.

I hadn’t realized just how dull the colors of my palette had become until he’d crashed into my life.

Seems odd for a photographer to admit that but I was suddenly seeing things with a clarity that’d been absent prior.

Even in my photography I’d refused to take risks. I preferred landscapes because I could always get the shot if I was patient enough.

But I really wanted to do more wildlife photography.

I wanted to risk the discomfort of tromping through the jungle or sleeping on a cot in some remote section of the world to capture nature at its wildest.

I’d stayed cooped in my own bubble, afraid to venture outside of my comfort zone.

Content to remain discontent without complaint.

I frowned at my self-assessment. Not pretty.

But Dex had changed all that.

He lived by his own rules and made no apologies.

God, I loved that about him.

No, I was in awe.

I knew his story was probably twisted and wrong — people don’t become contract killers because they had rosy childhoods — but I didn’t care. Nothing would scare me away from sticking by him.

I needed Dex as much as he needed me.

I would show him that he could trust me with his secrets, that I wouldn’t judge him for his past.

We could start fresh together.

And I didn’t need a ring or anything conventional or traditional — I just needed him to love me as fiercely as he did right now and I’d die a happy woman (hopefully, when I was really old, not now, of course.)

I smiled as a sense of calm washed over me.

I loved Dex.

I would always love Dex.

Nothing would ever change my heart — and I would tell him exactly like that and I would make him listen.

Even if I had to enlist Travis’s help to hold him down while I made him hear me.

A polite knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

I froze.

Who could that be?

Why was someone at the door?

Why wasn’t Dex back yet?

Indecision paralyzed me until a second knock propelled me from the sofa to peer through the peephole.

A finely dressed chauffeur stood waiting outside the door and I relaxed, realizing the guy must have the wrong address.

I didn’t want the poor man to get fired over a simple mistake. Sometimes New York addresses were hard to navigate. Lord knew I’d gotten lost a few times and I was a native.

“Just a minute,” I called out, going through the process of unlocking the door, saying, “But I think you have the wrong address” as I finally got the door open, intent on helping him get back on track.

“Caroline Burke?” he confirmed with a smile that felt anything but benign and I realized I’d just fucked up.

“Nope, sorry, not her!” I denied, trying to slam the door quickly but he was faster than me.

The last thing I remembered was a gloved fist smashing into my face, the sickening crunch of bone and my glasses shattering.

And then total blackness.