Chapter Eleven

Snow

The day after my date with Lee, Fawn let me know that I would be returning home in between dates rather than staying at the retreat. Because I had chosen a longer experience, this would help me to keep up with the rest of my life and also create a distinct separation between each of my dates so that I could immerse myself completely in each one. I went home the next day with the instruction that I would receive another box just before the next date. I would usually spend Friday through Monday at the retreat for each date, so that I could totally remove myself from the real world for each experience.

There was a slight sense of disappointment as I returned home that day. Though I loved my house, I had enjoyed the retreat so much and expected that I would have been able to spend more time there rather than having to return so quickly. The evening after I returned, I walked into my living room and set a bottle of beer on the top of the entertainment center. It was the same brew that Lee had chosen for us, a subtle reminder of that night, my first leap into my journey of discovery.

“Snow?”

A familiar voice came from behind me and I turned around to see Robin letting himself into the house. He’d had a key to every home that I had lived in, from the most meager of apartments when I was in college until this house. My ex had hated it, but that was something, possibly the only thing, that I had refused to change for him. It was reassuring to me for Robin to have a key and to know that even if he wasn’t there yet, I could feel like I wasn’t really alone in my home. The only compromise that I had made was to text Robin any time that my ex was at my apartment so that he would know not to let himself in until I told him that I was by myself again. Those restrictions were gone now and several times a week Robin would appear in my house, ready to share a bawdy story or hoping that I had ordered something for dinner so we could sit on the couch and veg out with terrible TV.

I realized in that moment how much I had missed him. It had only been a few days since I saw him, yet it felt like a tremendous relief to see him again. I rushed across the room and gathered him into a tight hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” I said.

Robin embraced me back.

“You, too,” he said. “So…. how is The Enchanted Woods?”

There was a devilish lilt to his voice that told me he knew more about the retreat than he had initially let on and I smiled.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I asked. “You knew all along what you were sending me into.”

“I might have had the tiniest little inkling,” he said. “I thought that it would be perfect for you. Exactly what you needed. So, tell me, tell me, tell me. Is it amazing?”

My face fell and I shook my head.

“I hated it,” I said.

I saw the joy melt out of the expression on his face and his hands dropped down to his sides.

“You what?” he said, sounding dejected.

“I hated it,” I said again. “Why do you think I’m back here so soon? It was awful. What were you thinking, sending me to a place like that? That brochure was total bullshit. I rode up to a gravel lot and a double wide with broken windows, and some disgusting woman who looked like she hadn’t bathed in a month offered me her stepson for a romp in the hay.”

“I’m so sorry,” Robin started, then he paused, his head tilting as a confused expression crossed his eyes. “Wait. You’ve been gone for days.”

I started laughing and pulled him in for another hug.

“I’m kidding,” I said. “It’s wonderful there. It looks exactly like the brochure.”

“I want to know everything,” he said. “Everything.”

Just then the doorbell rang and I walked over to it. I paid the delivery man on the other side and turned around to present the pizzas that I held to Robin. His eyes lit up and we rushed into the living room, taking our customary positions on the couch. I glanced up at the beer as I put the pizzas on the coffee table. Maybe I would tell him everything.

Maybe.

The time in between my dates went by even more tortuously than the first days that I waited at the retreat. Without a job to go to each day it felt as though I was just kind of drifting through them. I cleaned the house and rearranged the furniture, then rearranged it again, and then again. It ended up back in the same positions that it had originally been in, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that the space under it was clean. I remembered the stretches that Lee had guided me through and started going through them each morning. By the time that two weeks had passed, I was noticeably more limber and feeling a new appreciation for the way that my body could move.

I was gripping my ankle, working toward pulling my leg down toward my face, when my doorbell rang. I peeked out of the peephole and didn’t see anybody, but there was another white box sitting on the ground in front of my door just as it had been in the retreat. I opened the door and looked around to make sure that none of my neighbors were watching before snatching up the box and dipping back inside. This box was larger and heavier than the one for my first date and I was immediately intrigued. Sitting on the living room couch, I pulled the envelope out from beneath the satin ribbon, green this time, and opened it.

“Practice and repeat.”

“Perfect. Even more vague.”

I tossed the note and envelope onto the coffee table and opened the box. When I opened it, I found that there were two outfits nestled inside. Small cards on top said “first” and “second”. I hadn’t expected the box to arrive at my house, thinking that it was more likely that it would arrive once I had gone back to the retreat, then it occurred to me that I wouldn’t have known which Friday to arrive if I hadn’t gotten the box. It was still the middle of the week, but that meant I only had a couple more days until I was back at the retreat and preparing for another date. I went back to my stretching, feeling more optimistic and excited than I had felt in several days.