CHAPTER SIX
ESSEX
GOD, I FEEL GOOD, I thought to myself happily as Lucca’s heavy body covered mine, his mouth pressed to my neck as he regained his strength after the most amazing fuck of my life.
I’d been married before and was certainly no virgin, but I’d never felt anything like what I’d just felt with him. It had been beyond anything in my limited knowledge knew. And now I felt free. Pure. Born again. Even if this was the only time we were ever together, he’d given me a precious gift that I’d never forget. He’d somehow managed to show me that I wasn’t dead inside…that I could feel…I could respond…I could enjoy a man’s touch.
At least with this man.
I was freaking thrilled.
And it was all because of the man lying on top of me. The man that was, unfortunately, growing heavier by the minute.
“Lucca, honey…” I grunted as I squirmed underneath his weight. “I can’t breathe.”
“Shit, sorry, bella,” he grunted as he rolled to my side, wrapping one arm around my waist and tugging me to him. I lay silently beside him for long moments as we caught our breath and came back down from our high. As the minutes wore on, though, I grew more uncertain.
What did I do now?
Did he want me to leave now that we’d concluded our weekend together?
Did I leave a check beside the bed?
With each question my mind asked, my body grew more tense beside his.
Because I didn’t want this to be over between us. What I’d found with Lucca this weekend had felt real. Genuine. Authentic.
It didn’t feel like a business arrangement.
And I did not want it to be over.
I liked him. Hell, I more than liked him. I wasn’t exactly sure how to define what I felt. It was too soon to love him, but something existed! Something real in a way I’d never known. And I wanted to explore it. Because he was everything any sane woman would want in her life.
“Bella, you are thinking much too hard. After that exceptional loving, your mind should be mush,” I heard him chuckle from beside me a second before his lips found my bare shoulder, kissing the skin gently. “What’s wrong, Essex? This will only work if you talk to me.”
Chewing my lower lip, I deliberated how to respond to him. Finally, I decided honesty was probably my best recourse. “I was thinking that I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want what just happened here between us to be the end.”
“What the hell gave you the idea that it would it be?” I heard Lucca growl as he abruptly sat up in the bed to loom over me.
“I only hired you for the weekend, Lucca.” I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. “And it’s Sunday. The weekend is over. Our arrangement…it’s over after I pay you, right?” I asked, hating how small and vulnerable I felt in that moment.
“Pay me?” he echoed incredulously, his brown eyes darkening with pain. “Are you serious right now? I told you I didn’t want your money.”
“But—”
“Just be quiet for a second, Essex. I need a moment.” I watched as Lucca inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, almost like he was trying to gain control of himself. Bracing myself for pain as he opened his eyes again, I saw no anger, only sadness. Sadness that I never wanted to see in a man as passionate as Lucca.
“Listen,” he began. “I know you hired me for this weekend. I know that’s how we began, but from the moment that Jason showed me your file and I saw your face staring back at me, I knew this would be no ordinary job. In my soul, I knew you were going to be special to me. In that second, Essex, you stopped being an assignment for me. I’d die before I accepted a dime for what just transpired between us. I need you to get that through your head. Quickly,” he stressed as he stared at me with blazing eyes.
“Okay,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say to him. “Then what is this then?” I was unable to resist asking as I gestured weakly between us.
“I want this to be our beginning, bella,” Lucca shared solemnly before shooting me a boyish smile. “Look, I’m not a man that’s ever believed in love at first sight before, but from the moment I looked into your face, I felt a connection, a pull that I can’t explain. It’s strong, too, Essex. So strong that the thought of fighting it is painful.”
Blinking back tears, I nodded. “I feel it, too,” I confessed shakily as he reached out to take my hand, lacing our fingers together.
“I know you’re wounded, baby. I know you’ve been hurt and you need time to trust and believe that this is real between us. I know I have to prove that I’ll never use this connection to hurt you. And I’m ready and willing to jump through whatever hoops you need me to tackle, but just tell me you want to try, Essex.”
I caught my breath at the vulnerability I saw shining in Lucca’s eyes. Yeah, this man could hurt me. Perhaps even worse than Foster had. But, in those moments, I knew that I could hurt him, too, if I wasn’t careful. And that was something I never wanted to do.
He was offering me a chance to have something wonderful. Something beautiful.
And all I had to do was try.
Try to believe.
Try to have faith.
Try to succeed.
No choice for me had ever been easy.
Until now.
“I’ll try, Lucca. I want to try with you.”
And as his arms enfolded me in his secure embrace, I knew I’d made the right decision.
The End…For Now