CHAPTER SEVEN
JAXSON
MY HEAD IS IN MY hands as I wait for my brother to get into his office. It’s been three days since I found out I have a son. I called Jason saying something came up and I needed a few days off. He was worried, but I promised him that I would fill him in on everything after I had time to process it first.
I know I should have stayed and spoken things through with Lilly, but I just couldn’t. Hearing that one of the reasons she didn’t contact me was due to me being an escort at The Meat Market solidified my decision to quit. I know I love both Lilly and Kasey more than anything, but I am also aware that we have a long road ahead of us. And the first step is ending my second job.
“Lucca, you can’t mean that, man. Think about what you’re saying before you decide to stop.” Jason steps into the room with his phone in his hand.
“Jay, you’re like a brother to me, and I offered two years ago to give you the funds to keep the shop open. When you told me no, that you needed to do this on your own and that you needed my talent instead…well, I would do anything for my family. However, I’m getting tired, and it’s getting old doing this nightly. So, one more date, and I’m done.” My eyes widen at hearing Lucca’s voice coming from the speaker on Jason’s cell phone.
I am shocked that he is quitting. Talk about shit timing? I wonder how Jason will react to my news and how our relationship will be affected with my leaving.
“Ugh…fine, one more, I’ll contact you when I get done talking to Jax. I had a call a few moments before he got here requesting Italian Sausage, so I’ll get all the details and get back to you.” Hanging up, Jason sits down and leans back in his chair. “Start talking or I’m calling Mom and Grandma.”
I groan at the realization that’s going to be a call I also have to face. Then, I take a deep breath and let everything out. The shocked face he has as he processes that he’s an uncle makes me want to chuckle. The look of understanding that I get when I tell him I want out of the escort game has me relaxing a bit in relief that it isn’t going to affect our relationship. However, by the time I’m finished with every emotion I have felt the past three days, it leaves me feeling even more drained than I did when I first walked into the shop.
“What are you going to do about Lilly?” Jason’s voice breaks the silence.
“I don’t know. I know she’s the one, but the pain and anger I feel over her keeping Kasey a secret, I don’t know what to do.” I’ve always looked up to him, so when he speaks, I listen.
“I’d thank life for throwing you this chance.” Jason’s words stun me.
“What? How the fuck am I supposed to be thankful—”
“You only lost fifteen months, Jax. In the big scheme of things, it’s a damn blink of an eye. You love her,” he states, and I swallow, knowing it’s true. “In life, all you can do is keep moving forward. Reach for the shit that means something. Lilly and that little boy are that something.”
I sit in silence, absorbing his words.
“It can’t be that easy,” slips out of my mouth before I can think better of it.
“Life is hardly ever easy, brother. Sometimes, you just have to keep moving forward. Keep going, hold onto your something good with both hands, no matter what.” After standing up, he walks around and pats me on my shoulder before leaving.
My head drops as I take in what he said about holding onto something good with both hands. I know both Lilly and Kasey are that something good, but can I really just accept what she did and be thankful that I have the rest of his life? Can I accept what I have missed and pray that I get another shot at seeing the first fifteen months with another child?
“Oh, think about this, too…can you picture her with someone else? Can you picture her belly big from another man? If the answer is no, then you best get your ass up and get back to her apartment,” Jason says from the doorway. He must have come back into the room when I was thinking to add those much-needed words. The hurt and anger of his voice has me looking over my shoulder.
Meeting his gaze, it takes a few seconds for me to spot something fierce reflecting from his eyes. The emotion that is coming from them and that was clear in his voice leads me to think he understands how much that would kill me. That there’s a woman who is important to him and just the thought of her being with someone else…makes him want to commit murder. He acts like he understands the pain it would put me in just witnessing it with Lilly. The idea of who he might be referring to begins to form, but before I can ask if it is who he’s talking about, he turns and walks back out.
An image of Lilly, Kasey, and another man pop into my head, and it has me seeing red. Just the thought of another man being in their lives, let alone playing daddy to Kasey and putting another child in Lilly’s belly, has rage surging in my veins. I realize the fury I feel from that is much more than what I feel about missing my son’s first few months of life.
This fuels my movements to get there now because I can’t get the thought out of my head. The only thing I can process is going to her apartment and not only telling her, but showing her that she won’t ever be with another man as long as I draw breath into my lungs.
LILLY
It’s been three days since I’ve last heard from Jax. At first, I was crushed and blamed myself for everything. But today…now I’m pissed that he hasn’t called or even come back to see his son. Es isn’t impressed with Jax right now, either. She debated calling and canceling her date to help me, but I talked her out of it. She needs to do this so she can finally move on.
Right now, I’m relaxing in the tub with a bottle of beer in my hand. I don’t get to soak often, so when I do, I take full advantage of it.
I start thinking back to the last time I saw Jax. Questions swirl through my head…Who wants their son around a man who thinks escorting is okay? What is that teaching him? That alone is reason enough for my keeping Kasey away.
But then on the flip side…Who would be okay knowing their momma got pregnant by said paid escort? Shit. Tears start building up again. How am I going to explain to my son that I paid for sex and got pregnant with him? What kind of mom does that? This is just a fucking mess, and now, I want another beer. I know I shouldn’t because it goes straight to my head, but right now…I need something to take the pain out of my heart.
I grab a towel and start drying off. The sound of someone banging on my door has me throwing on the skimpy robe that hangs in my bathroom and rushing to the door. Kasey is asleep, and if he is woken up from his nap…let’s just say, I’ll be in hell until it is bedtime.
“If you wake up my son, I swear to God I will…” I stop mid-sentence when I see it’s Jax on the other side.
He says nothing as his eyes rake my body, and I realize what I’m wearing is probably not the best way to open the door. When he reaches my eyes again, I recognize the desire in his and also see it is mixed with anger.
“Why the fuck are you answering the door like that?” The words he says make my blood boil just a bit more than it was before he showed up. “Never mind, we need to talk.”
He steps in and bends over, throwing his shoulder into my stomach and picking me up. Before I can stop him, he has turned and locked the front door before heading toward the hallway. I have a feeling his idea of talking and mine are two separate things at this moment.
JAXSON
Seeing her in that barely there piece of clothing when she threw the door open made me want her even more. The need to claim her and tell her she isn’t allowed to do shit like that runs strong through me.
“Jaxson Somers, put me down right now!” The use of my full name has me stopping right outside of what I believe to be her bedroom.
“Lillian Knight, I don’t think you want me to put you down right now, because if I do, then you’ll be against the wall while I’m balls deep inside you. Wait…where is Kasey?”
“He’s sleeping in his room right now. And if you wake him up, I will not be happy. What do you mean balls deep? Jax, we need to talk, and I need to tell you how sorry I am, but I’m hurt…” Hearing her use the word hurt has me righting her quickly in the hallway and looking her over.
“Where are you hurt, angel? Do I need to take you into the doctor?”
“No, you dipshit.” The giggle has a smile tugging at my lips. “I meant emotionally hurt. The way you left without really talking hurt me, Jaxson. You haven’t even contacted me for three days. I know I hurt you, and that I will forever have to feel the pain and regret for keeping Kasey a secret, but I really was a mess, and I wanted you to know.” She takes another deep breath and opens her mouth again, but my lips are on her before she can say another word.
I need to stop and explain, but her taste floods my mouth, and the need to plunge home is too strong. After picking her up again, I carry her into the room.
“Lilly, I forgive you. I’m sorry I didn’t contact you these last few days. I needed time to think things through. To figure out how to process things.” Laying my forehead on hers, I continue, “I was told today to reach out and hold on tight to the things that mean something to me. That’s you and Kasey…you both are my future, and I refuse to let you go.” As much as I want to tell her I love her, I think doing it while I’m stripping her of her robe isn’t the wisest thing.
“What about escorting? I can’t share you, Jax. I’m not that type of person.” Lilly reaches for my belt and pulls to get me free.
“I told Jason I’m done. We started this two years ago so we wouldn’t lose our family shop. I want you and Kasey to move in with me. Yeah, we have some shit to work out, but I’m not going to let you get away a third time, Lilly.”
“Are you sure you are okay with giving up escorting? I don’t want to come between you and your brother, either.”
Before she can say another word, I’m on top and slowly pushing into her. She’s so tight on my cock, and I moan out her name. Fuck, I don’t think there’s ever going to be a time that I’m going to have enough of her. Planting myself deep and holding still, I decide to lay it out.
“Lilly, you’re not going to come between us. I said I’m done, and I mean it. Now, I will still help him out with the office side of it, if he needs me, and I’ll still work in the shop on the butcher side. You are it for me, and I’m it for you.” I slam my lips down on hers before I pull out and thrust into her fast and hard.
This isn’t a slow lovemaking, this is branding myself on her…making it known to not only her but also myself, that she’s mine and will only ever be mine. The fire that starts to tingle up my spine is coming way too fast for my liking. I know I don’t have much time before I go off, I moisten my thumb then place it on her and start making fast, short circles around her.
“Jax…oh, God. I’m going to come.”
“Fucking come, Lilly. I need your cum around my cock. Show me who owns your body. Come on, baby I need to feel you tighten around me to the point of pain.” I continue to thrust deep and see that she’s right on the edge. Bending down, I bite her breast to give her that extra bit of pain to send her over the edge. “Mine,” is all I can get out as I pump twice more before the burn finishes its way through my body.
“What…was…that?” Lilly questions while she tries to catch her breath.
“That, my angel, was me branding you as mine.” I give her a quick peck on the lips. “Tomorrow, I’m going to be redoing the menu because the big KC Strip is off the market…maybe little Kasey will be filling daddy’s shoes later.” I quickly climb off the bed and hurry into the bathroom to get away, knowing neither Lilly nor I would ever let my son become an escort. I just wanted to get her pissy again because she’s hot when she’s angry.
Glancing back, I see her trying to hold in her laughter, knowing I was messing with her. I now know that no matter what happens, we will be okay, we have to be. Because in my eyes, there is no other option. Having a ready-made family and trying to build off what is already in place isn’t something that most people dream of. But knowing I have my son in the other room and my girl waiting in bed for me, it makes everything I’m about to go through worth it. I already missed out on them once. I refuse to miss another second.
THE END…FOR NOW.