Chapter 64

After Molly rejected him, Xander went home and locked himself in his bedroom. Winnie tried knocking on his door repeatedly, offering him food and drink, but he sent her away each time, telling her he wasn’t feeling good or pretending to be asleep.

The truth was, Xander’s mind was playing constantly like a reel of film. Moving images of him and Molly holding their baby, playing at the playground. He was fantasizing about the family he never had, wishing that he could take back everything he had done to tarnish his one chance at true happiness.

After hours of restlessness, Xander decided he needed to leave his room before it turned into an insane asylum. He was now at the bar just down the road from his house, three beers deep and still ruminating on Molly and the baby.

“I’ve seen a lot of men in here drinkin’ away their sorrows, but never one as handsome as you.”

Xander looked at the barstool to his left. It had previously been occupied by a large, bearded biker, but now had a voluptuous blonde woman sitting on it.

“You say that to all of the men in here when they’re looking particularly vulnerable?” Xander asked, as he eyed her tight waist and her shirt that was bedazzled with the words, ‘Daddy’s Girl’ across her chest. Tracing her finger along his thigh, she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“You’d be the first, and if you let me, you could be the last.”

Xander gently placed her hand back onto her lap and politely shook his head.

“I’m here trying to forget a girl, not pick up a new one. Trust me, it pains me to say this, but I gotta go with a big, fat no.”

The woman grabbed her drink, and based on the way her eyes darted around the room angrily, Xander thought she might dump it on his head.

“Your loss, chump.”

Xander watched as she made her way back to the table where five other women were sitting.

Don’t let me regret that.

“Guy like you ain’t used to turnin’ down chicks like that, hey?”

The bartender was now in front of Xander, leaning over with both elbows on the counter.

“It’s not my usual routine, that’s for sure. Why do you ask?”

She took out the whiskey Xander had been drinking and topped up his glass.

“Don’t worry, this one’s on the house. I’m askin’ because there’s gotta be a reason you turned down that Barbie doll. Isn’t she every guy’s dream?”

Not mine. She’s no Molly.

“I’ve already got a dream girl, but I messed it all up.”

The bartender walked to the other side of the bar station and poured another customer a drink, returning to Xander when she finished.

“Let me guess. Cheated on her with a ‘Sally Sucks a Lot?’ Forgot it was your anniversary? No. Did you leave her at the altar?”

Xander gulped down the rest of his drink and put it on the counter. The bartender filled it up again.

“Nah, none of that. About six months ago I met her at a club just down the street from here. She was different than all of the other girls there. I don’t know how to describe it, but I just knew from the moment I saw her that she was special. We spent the first night together and then the next morning I left—typical, right? Except, I left her because my whole career was riding on this one event and I couldn’t jeopardize it by being with someone like her. She would have been my whole world from that day forward, and I would have left everything else behind. Everything I’d worked so hard for.”

Xander paused, looking up from his drink to see if she was still listening.

“Go on. It sounds like you’ve got a lot to get off your chest, and I got nothin’ better to do.”

Xander cleared his throat and continued.

“Fast forward five months and here I am. I just found out I’m going to be the father of her child and she won’t have me. Months went by without me seeing her and the day I return from L.A.—I find out that the whole time that I’ve been chasing this pipe dream, I’ve had a child on the way. So naturally I went to her and tried to explain everything. I apologized up and down, but she slammed the door in my face. I don’t know what to do now. It’s all I can think about.”

Xander found no sympathy in the bartender, only a look of scorn.

“No wonder she didn’t want you. Leavin’ her high and dry and then expecting her to take you back the minute you find out you planted your seed in her? No way. Do you want my advice? Move on. Forget about her. If you really love her, it’s the least you can do.”

Thanks for telling me what I already know, Lady.

“Helpful. Well, thanks for the free drink. Here’s what I owe you.”

Xander put down a twenty and gathered his things to leave the bar.

“Keep the change—for the therapy session.”

Outside, Xander flagged down a cab. Since he had his license taken away due to the DUII, he hadn’t been able to drive his Camaro anywhere, not even to the grocery store. After telling the cabbie his address, Xander laid back and closed his eyes.

“Forget about her. It’s the least you can do.”

She’s right. It’s not just Molly I have to think about now, it’s our baby too. Whatever bullshit I cause will only bring our child more suffering. They both deserve better, and I can’t give them that. Not now.

They pulled into the bottom of Xander’s driveway just as he was opening his eyes. He paid the driver and made the long walk up to his house.

Once inside, Xander kicked off his shoes and stumbled his way into his bedroom, finally laying down for a good night’s rest.