Chris banged the door behind me with more force than necessary, jerking me out of my dazed state in front of the monitors and causing me to knock over my energy drink.
“Hey, could you drop it down a notch?” I complained, wiping over the liquid spilling over the desk with the sleeve of my sweater.
“Sorry, you looked like you would fall asleep any second,” Chris said, not sounding in the least bit apologetic. He dropped into a chair and rubbed his hands over his face. “Did you talk to her yet?”
I didn’t need to ask whom he meant and uttered a simple, “No.”
“It won’t get any easier, Dylan.”
I knew that, but hours of racking my brain about what to say to her had given me no ideas so far.
“I’ll talk to her if you want,” Chris offered when I remained silent. “I think she trusts me and maybe—”
“No,” I interrupted him. Chris stopped mid-sentence at my brusque tone. “I’ll do it. In fact, I’ll do it right now,” I announced.
For some reason, I didn’t want Chris to be the one she confided in. Also, I didn’t want to give them another opportunity to talk about me behind my back.
“Whatever you say, man,” Chris replied, and I didn’t miss the cocky undertone in his voice.
I scrutinized him, adding in a cautious tone, “I know that face.” No answer. A smug look made up his features. “Ah, I understand. You said that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Would never occur to me,” Chris replied, clapped on my shoulder, and strolled out the door.
Son of a bitch. Chris knew I wouldn’t be happy about him walking into her room again. He’d offered to talk to her because he knew I didn’t like them being together. Backing down was no option. My pride wouldn’t let me.
I emptied the energy drink and left the main quarters before my courage left me. Wait—my courage? What the fuck? I was a Fighter, a warrior, absolutely fearless, and I was intimidated by what—a simple conversation with a girl? This was so not happening.
When I reached her door, I took a second to compose myself. I was still clueless about what to say to her but somehow, I had the feeling preparation wouldn’t help me. Before I could change my mind, I lifted my hand and knocked.
I thought back to the night I first laid eyes on her when anger had driven me to her apartment. Now, I wasn’t so sure about my emotions toward her anymore. Although the pain of Ricky’s death still made me crumble inside, the anger had subsided to a bearable level, and I felt more confusion rather than fury whenever she was around.
The door opened, and it was immediately apparent Haylie hadn’t expected to see me. Her eyes betrayed her calm demeanor, and I saw a tumble of emotions swirling in them. She struggled to say something but seemed to be too bewildered at the moment. If it hadn’t been for my helpless situation, I would have laughed at her comical expression.
“We need to talk.” The words came out harsher than intended. She had a gift for toying with my control, and that didn’t sit well with me. Control was the only thing keeping me sane.
“O… Okay,” she stammered.
“Let’s go outside,” I suggested. I didn’t want to be stuck in her room in case I needed space.
She nodded and took a woolen cardigan from behind the door, draping it over her naked shoulders. Only now did I notice she wasn’t dressed in her usual jeans but in comfortable training pants hanging low on her hips—too low for my taste, giving me a good view of her flat stomach between the waistband of her pants and the hem of her top. Thankfully, the cardigan was long enough to cover her hips, enabling me to focus again. As usual, Haylie was oblivious to my struggles.
I made my way through the aisles, Haylie silently following me. Neither of us uttered a word, the tension almost tangible in the air. I ascended the ladder and exited through the trap door, leaving it open for her. For a minute, we just stood there, remaining quiet while I debated what to say to her.
“I’m sorry for humiliating you in front of the others. I don’t know what came over me,” Haylie suddenly confessed in a low voice, saving me from breaking the silence first but making it just as hard for me to reply.
I turned to face her. To be honest, I hadn’t expected an apology. She had every right to yell at me, yet she was sorry.
Her eyes were wandering around the cemetery, and although it was dark outside, I got a glimpse of the golden glow in her jaylior eyes. Even without the Flare, her eyes were luminous, as if something set them aglow from within. She pulled her cardigan tighter around her body, shielding herself from the cold night air. Haylie was a strong woman, but at that moment, she looked fragile and vulnerable.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I answered in honesty and gained a look of confusion. “I know I told you to stay away from me, and I thought it would work out for both of us, but it didn’t. Living under the same roof leaves little space to avoid each other. Besides,” I paused to sigh, accepting that we were stuck in this shit, “I’m your trainer, and that won’t change anytime soon. So, I guess we need to find a way to get along.”
She cast me a glance from under her long lashes, unsure how to take my words. She seemed clearly uncomfortable, and I couldn’t blame her. I couldn’t say I felt comfortable, either.
“I’m sorry for what I did when I came to see you that night,” I went on in a low voice.
At the time, I’d been blinded by my fury over her invading my life, which was already shattered beyond repair. Not to mention that she was one of the many reasons Ricky was buried six feet under. Nevertheless, I hated myself for being the one who hurt her the most in the end. Never had I beaten a girl who didn’t belong to the Hunters. Thinking back to the bruises on her neck inflicted by my hands, shame overcame me. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” Haylie said in a voice so soft it nearly made my knees buckle.
After a moment I said, “I know that… you are not responsible for Ricky’s death.”
Well, that was only half of the truth. As Haylie had said earlier, it might not have been her fault, but she’d certainly played an important part. It was wrong to put all the blame on her, but it was just too hard not to. She didn’t need to know that, though. Saying that wouldn’t help me gaining her trust.
A hundred emotions shadowed over her face as my words sank in—shock, relief, disbelief, confusion. Everyone had told her the same so many times, had tried to convince her of her innocence, but in the end, only my opinion mattered. Only my forgiveness made the difference.
“I understand, you know. Chris told me,” she confessed in a low voice.
I’d already assumed Chris told her about certain events in my past and the many reasons why I couldn’t stand her presence. I didn’t know what to make of my best friend revealing my darkest secrets behind my back, but ever since Haylie became part of our lives, our friendship had changed on a deeper level. Chris took it seriously, but somehow, Haylie’s welfare and her safety became his priority. I was unsure how I felt about that, but I couldn’t blame Chris for this decision either. After all, I should have been the one to do the same.
I just wasn’t ready for it.
“Then you know why it is so difficult for me to be around you.” My voice trembled slightly. I’d expected it to be easier to say those words. Not that I was an expert on expressing feelings…
“I do. I just don’t know how to fix it,” she replied in exasperation.
“You can’t. No one can change the past.”
She didn’t say anything for a while, but I felt her gaze piercing me with its intensity, trying to dig its way into the core of my damaged soul and laying it bare.
She took a step closer, and it was like an invisible force was lifting my head to meet her eyes. Again, her height took me by surprise. I could have skimmed my lips over her forehead without lowering my head. The wind blew a strand of hair over her face, and I itched to brush it back with my finger, yearning to feel its velvety texture. Her eyes hypnotized me, disarmed me, captured me.
Damn, one thing was for sure—nature had created a masterpiece.
“It must be torture for you…” she suddenly spoke, her voice so sad and wistful, it sounded as if she felt my pain, “… to need to get away from me, but still feeling the need to protect me. Because of Jenna. Because of Shawna. Because you dedicated your entire life to saving Naturals. Because it’s your duty since you joined the compound. And probably also because you don’t want Ricky’s death to be futile.” She gulped. “I’m torturing you every time I’m near you. I can see it in your eyes. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have come here…” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, saturating her jaylior eyes even more and reminding me of autumn leaves sprinkled with rain. The pain reflecting in them tore me apart.
No. This was not how our conversation should have turned out. Everything she was saying was true, but those words coming from her lips and not mine was an entirely different matter. I should be the one accusing her of all this.
I was close to negating but, “You’re not safe anywhere else,” was my answer instead.
A sad smile formed on her lips, and her gaze swept heavenward as she observed the sky. “You don’t need to pretend you care.”
The words were void of any judgment. She thought I didn’t care? After all the help I’d offered? After all I’d gone through for her? Well, I guessed it shouldn’t surprise me for her to think I acted that way just because it was asked of me.
“I do care, Haylie.” I heaved a deep sigh. The conversation was getting more emotional than I could take. Damn Jimmy for laying this burden on my shoulders, because my shoulders weren’t made for girls to cry their heart out on.
“Despite my personal issues, I don’t want you to get hurt, and I don’t want you to be harmed by their hands. I know you don’t trust me, and you have every right not to, but I will do everything to keep you safe. Just like the rest of us do, okay?”
She seemed surprised by my answer and nodded mutely in acceptance. Okay, the first part was done, although somehow, the conversation had shattered me more than her.
It was now or never.
“So... You didn’t tell anyone about your discovery,” I began, watching her closely. Her jaw clenched, and she crossed her arms, averting her eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you off when you came to tell us. I didn’t know about your intentions,” I confessed, but she was already shaking her head.
“It wasn’t because of you. I just feel… indecisive. I was so relieved about my discovery, I forgot to think of what having this kind of power means for me and the others around me.”
I inclined my head, eyes narrowed. I knew that look, that spark of fear, that glint of insecurity. She was afraid. Just like Jenna had been. As if I needed another reminder…
“You need to tell us if we are to help you,” I tried to reason with her in a hopefully gentle tone.
Her gaze flew over the cemetery again. The moon’s glow from above came through the clouds, bathing everything in a pale light. It bounced off her shiny hair, reflecting in her eyes. The sight was so beautiful, it nearly took my breath away.
To be honest, I hadn’t expected her to open up to me. None of the others had succeeded, so why would she tell me, of all people?
She sighed audibly, her gaze flying briefly over Ricky’s grave before landing on me. Again, her eyes were analyzing. Probing. I could practically see her internal struggle.
“Gravity,” she whispered.
“What?” I stuttered, still mesmerized by her stunning features and only half listening.
“Gravity,” she repeated, louder this time, casting me a sidelong glance as if dreading my reaction. “My power. It’s supposed to be related to nature, right? I think I can manipulate gravity,” she finally revealed, her voice quivering. Apparently, she wasn’t happy with the result of our research.
“It would fit, wouldn’t it? Whenever I’m nervous or scared, it awakens, and I tend to lose balance because I can’t handle it. It would explain the jumps, the incident in the hospital, how I threw the Hunter off me that night of the attack, and how I made the neon lamp crash down on David.”
She waited for my confirmation, but I just blinked, unable to speak. Gravity? I didn’t know if I should be worried or relieved. The powers of Roes were known to be limitless—depending on time, training, and discipline. There was no way to forecast how expandable Haylie’s power was.
And I’d feared for her to be an elemental with the power to create earthquakes… Well, it was definitely worse.
Releasing the breath I’d been holding in a loud huff, I combed a hand through my hair. “Makes sense. I’m glad you figured it out. With some help from drugs, I’ve heard,” I found it important to add.
She winced slightly. “Yeah, sorry about that, but it did help in the end. Unbelievable…” she muttered, shaking her head.
“What happened, exactly?”
“I don’t know. I suddenly felt a peaceful calm settle over me, and I noticed things I never noticed before. And then, Scott said I was floating. I was so relaxed, I forgot about everything surrounding me. I fell back onto the ground as soon as I realized what was happening.”
“That is proof that our powers are strongly connected to our mental condition. I should suggest to Jimmy to test out weed on students who struggle with opening up to their abilities,” I added as a joke.
Haylie lifted her eyes to mine and laughed, the sound swinging in harmonious waves over the ground. “Scott would love that.”
Her carefree laughter evoked a memory. Chris was right. Her smile was beautiful, and this was the first time I was the initiator.
“What if I don’t learn to control it in time?” she whispered, all humor gone, and voice layered with fear.
“In time for what?”
“Before I hurt someone. You saw what happened when it gets activated. Sometimes it’s harmless, but other times…” She trailed off, not needing to explain.
“Don’t worry. Now that we know what we’re dealing with, we can work with it.” I hoped. “You’re stronger and more self-restrained than most students here. You will make it.”
“But none of you know of anyone with this kind of ability, right? Who’s supposed to train and show me how to control it if there is no one with experience?”
“We also didn’t have a clue about Jenna’s ability, and she learned to wield it.”
Haylie’s eyes sliced into mine in sheer disbelief, her brows shooting to her hairline. “Are you serious?”
Okay, wrong thing to say. Jenna had died in the end because of the opposite reason. Pain stabbed through my heart, but I repressed it.
“Jenna was fighting with psychological issues. Mentally, she wasn’t strong enough and feared her power too much.” And Jenna hadn’t reached the Awakening, but I didn’t want to delve into this yet. She would learn about this biological process soon enough, and in no case would I be the one to explain it to her… neither in this lifetime nor the next.
“I’m afraid of my power, too,” Haylie exclaimed, her voice rising.
Trembles started to shake her, and her breathing became faster. I foresaw the Flare before it occurred and rushed over to her. Her knees buckled, and I grabbed her shoulders. My touch brought her out of her uncontrolled state, and she steadied immediately, her questioning eyes darting up to me.
“You’re stronger than that. You’re stronger than Jenna would have ever been. We will get through this. Together,” I emphasized.
Her jaylior eyes were still locked on mine in doubt, and it was the first time I didn’t feel any negative emotions toward her—no reminders of Ricky, Jenna, or Shawna.
Just her. Haylie.
A young woman who was my responsibility.
I wouldn’t fail her, no matter the cost.
~~~
Jimmy gave me an approving clasp on the shoulder. “Well done, Dylan. I knew I could count on you.”
I snorted. No idea what I’d done to make Haylie open up to me, but whatever it was, it worked. I felt strangely at peace. Despite my efforts to scare her off and put a wedge between us, she’d confided in me. She trusted me and counted on my help.
“So, how are we going to handle this? This is new to all of us,” Chris threw in.
“I think additional training with Lisa would be the best for her,” Jimmy suggested. “Haylie needs to get to know what power is residing inside her, and Lisa will help her achieve that. The more stable she is mentally, the better she will be able to control it.”
“I fear her power is more developed than Jenna’s was when she first discovered her ability. She’s not only able to manipulate her own gravity but can also direct it at others, as she did with the Hunter the night of the attack. I think her power is more complex than we can imagine,” I spoke my thoughts aloud.
“Lisa will get to the bottom of this. Scott, I want you to do some research on the physical matters of gravity. She will need to learn about the scientific aspects.”
“Yay…” was Scott’s unenthusiastic reply. He earned a scolding look from Jimmy, so he added in defeat, “I’ll see what I can do.”
“I talked to her today, and she seems… I don’t know, restless. I guess she needs a break. Would you mind if I go out with her sometime?” Sarah asked Jimmy, who was already shaking his head vehemently.
“Too risky. Now that we know about her ability, we need to be more careful than ever. Besides, the Hunters expect her to come out of hiding. They will be mingling everywhere.”
“You already allowed her to go on a mission,” Sarah reminded him.
“That was different. She was in a hospital and not roaming the streets in the middle of the night. And she had Dylan for protection.”
“I’ll join you. I’m dying to get out of here, anyway. I could use some fun,” Chris suggested. I ground my teeth. Slowly but surely, my patience with Chris was wearing thin.
“Since when do we allow Freshmen to leave the compound after such a short time? She’s the most dangerous of us, and you want to let her out there? You’ll play her directly into Dorian’s hands,” Cassie interjected, being against everyone and everything, once again.
“Haylie isn’t just any Freshman, Cassie,” Sarah countered, rolling her eyes. “We can’t treat her like everyone else. She’s not a teenager anymore with parents waiting for her at home. She’s older than every student here. She misses her friend, Lauren, and wants to meet with her. If Chris and I join her, it should be protection enough.”
Jimmy moaned, as usual struggling with denying sweet Sarah anything. “I don’t have a good feeling, guys.”
“We’ll go to a crowded place. Somewhere far away where they won’t expect us to go. No Tracer will be able to track her down, and the Watchers won’t catch us either. And if she uses her contacts, she won’t be recognizable to them from afar. She needs the distraction, Jimmy. She’s been here for how long now? One month? Two? If you want her to be mentally strong, you need to loosen that leash of yours a little bit. She’s training hard to catch up, and honestly, she doesn’t look healthy. She’s tired and worn out. She won’t be able to get a hang on her ability in this state. We all know it’s risky, but have you ever thought that maybe we overdid it with Jenna?”
A growl formed in my stomach. Sarah was skating on thin ice, and I threw her a sharp glance in warning, which she chose to ignore.
“Despite our intentions to keep her safe, maybe we’re strangling her. Letting off some steam will be good for her.”
“I’ll go, too. I can keep an eye on things,” Phil suggested.
“I’m in,” said Josh and high-fived Phil with a grin.
Chris threw me a questioning look. Going out was exactly what I needed but with Haylie in tow? We’d come to a truce the night before, but we were still far away from friendship or any other stable relationship. Too many things were unspoken, too many barriers still standing between us. Could I forget all this for one night?
Then, I glanced at Chris wearing a crooked grin. Who knew what Chris would be up to when alone with Haylie?
“I’m in. Two Fighters are enough bodyguards, don’t you think, Jimmy?” I said, never removing my eyes from Chris who stared back at me with a challenging smirk.
“Fine. But I expect you all to keep your eyes open, okay?”
“Where are we going?” Cassie asked, and all eyes switched to her, raised eyebrows everywhere. “What? Do you think just because your precious Natural is going, I’m going to stay here missing all the fun?”