Lisa’s office was not what I expected. It looked like a mixture of a psychiatrist’s office and the esoteric rooms of visionaries. The light was dim, the air heavy with incense, and burning candles in different colors dotted the room. A low table stood in the center, surrounded by big, cuddly pillows to sit on.
“Hello, my dear. I was looking forward to finally meeting you,” came a soft, female voice from behind me.
I turned to see a beautiful, elegant woman in a dark blue gown, midnight black hair waving down her back and framing a sweet face with rosy cheeks. She was maybe in her forties but looked very young for her age. She moved with extravagant grace and eased down on one of the pillows, motioning for me to do the same.
Lisa gave me a dazzling smile, and I greeted her in an equally friendly manner. I immediately liked my new tutor.
Something was different about her eyes, though. They spoke of wisdom, and although I recognized the Flare, the flash of light somehow appeared alleviated. Instead of sparkling with a bluish silver, only dull shades of gray made up her eyes, which were staring straight ahead.
I gasped as I realized the woman was blind. She seemed to have no difficulty with making out my exact position, and she was navigating through the room as if she was able to see every detail.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to frighten you. I lost my eyesight when I was young. I hope it’s not too distracting.”
“No, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to… I mean…” Okay, I’d stared, but Lisa couldn’t have noticed for obvious reasons, could she?
Lisa laughed in a musical voice. “Don’t apologize, my dear. You couldn’t have known. Living in a dark world like I do forces me to use my ability differently.”
I wondered what ability she was talking about. Was she a Tracer? I remembered what Scott had told me about how he could collect personal knowledge by using his powers.
“What do you think I am?” Lisa asked, as if reading my thoughts.
“I don’t know,” I confessed, earning a beaming smile from Lisa. “You seem to know what I’m thinking. I don’t know about mind-reading abilities, but Tracers are very similar.”
“Good way of thinking, but no, I’m not a Tracer. I have to apologize. Maybe I’ve confused you. I forgot you are still so new to our world… I’m a Watcher.” I blinked, unsure what to say. Was she joking? “I lost my eyesight, but I can see with my mind. You see, everyone emanates energy in various vibes, and as Roes are stronger and more developed, the energy they exude is more powerful. It took me years to make them out and interpret them.”
She gave me time to process. “So, you can still use your abilities as a Watcher without actually seeing?”
“That’s right. It confirms our abilities go way deeper than we think. Your vibes, for example, are unique.”
“What do you mean?” I asked dubiously. Everything about me was always different or unique or special, or whatever the others called it. Couldn’t I be normal, for once?
“It’s hard to explain something so inviolable, yet so complex,” Lisa explained, her many necklaces jingling with each movement. “Each person gives off individual vibes, differing in color and substance. Have you ever learned about the meaning of colors?”
“Um, maybe at school, but only the basics. You know, yellow for happiness, red for love, green for envy, and so on.”
“Of course. Well, the meaning of colors goes way deeper. For example, a bright yellow stands for spirit and intellect, whereas a dirty yellow stands for greed and hubris. It’s a rather complex and vague science. Usually, the vibes of Roes are gray in their basic line. Gray stands for wisdom, dignity, and indomitability. It has many shades, such as ashen, slate gray, silver gray, and so on. I don’t want to bore you with the details.”
For some reason, I found my thoughts wandering to Dylan and Fifty Shades of Grey at the same time. The color gray suddenly had a very different meaning for me. I shook my head to put the dirty fantasies aside for now.
“Fighters’ vibes, for example,” Lisa continued, thankfully oblivious to my inappropriate daydreams, “are also very rich in shades of red. They are passionate, aggressive, and unfold in battle. They are also very sensual, and have a reputation for being passionate lovers,” she added with a smile.
I was glad Lisa couldn’t see me blush, assuming I didn’t emanate bright red vibes at that moment, of course. I didn’t doubt for a second Dylan was exceptional in satisfying women, and it was all I could do not to think about how well he could satisfy me.
“Vibes are usually, let’s say, misty in their substance, like smoke hanging in the air. So, you,” she pointed her forefinger at me, “are the first Natural I have had the pleasure to meet, and your vibes are quite different. They rush toward me like waves, adding substance. Similar to water, I should say. And there is no gray in there,” she mused, still smiling. If I were the first Natural she had come across, I assumed she hadn’t been in the compound yet when Jenna had been part of the team.
“Is that bad?”
“Not at all, my dear. Yours are brown or more like topaz. Probably this is how jaylior looks, but as I lost my eyesight before I was old enough to see the two rare colors, I can’t say for sure. Brown is unique. There is no brown light, no brown in the rainbow, and no brown in the sky, although the sky can adapt nearly every color existing in nature. Nevertheless, we’re familiar with it from time immemorial. It indicates stability, warmth, clarity, modesty, and vitality. You’re one of a kind, and you can’t imagine how comfortable I feel in your presence,” Lisa finished in awe.
I let out a shaky laugh. “Wow, you flatter me. But I’m sure you’re missing some bad vibes because since I found out what I am, I’m constantly afraid of losing control again.”
“Well, Jimmy sent you to me to change that, right? I’ll try to increase your awareness of the power inside you. Granted, I’m inexperienced in working with Roes who have yet to undergo the Awakening, so this is also a first for me, but I’m positive we’ll make progress.”
“What is it with the Awakening process everyone is talking about?”
Lisa laughed richly, her melodic voice echoing through the room likes chimes in the wind. “Why does it not surprise me Jimmy is still keeping you in the dark? I guess he’s overprotective, as always.”
“Must be something bad, then. Awesome,” I huffed. Hadn’t I suffered enough already?
“Not necessarily, but if Jimmy didn’t find it important to tell you, then it’s not my place to act against him. So, let’s start, shall we?” she added with a smile.
I was tempted to press for answers about the Awakening, but it could wait until later. If Lisa was able to help me, then that was my priority.
“Jimmy told me about the situations when your ability broke through. They were all triggered by fear, am I correct?”
“Most of them, yes. Well, the most intense ones, I should say. But I’ve figured out that rage or anxiety can also be triggers. Maybe any negative emotion if it’s strong enough. I don’t know for sure.”
Lisa nodded. “It’s a self-defense mechanism of your body, but without control, it can also harm you. It’s like having the ability to run without knowing how to use your legs because you’ve never done it before. Where do you feel it when it starts?”
I frowned, not knowing what Lisa was referring to. “What do you mean?”
“Every power takes center inside a human body, like a muscle that’s formed for this specific purpose. Racers feel it in their legs, Fighters in their arms, Regenerators in the pectoral area, Shifters in their neck, and the other three, Catchers, Watchers, and Tracers, feel it in their mind. It usually takes a long time to locate it, especially with passive powers, but yours is an active and powerful one. I’m sure you have physical sensations whenever it invades your body.”
“Well, it usually tingles in my belly. Like butterflies in your stomach during a fall.”
“That makes sense. Your center of power is in line with your balance point. The perfect basis for manipulating nature’s greatest power,” she said in awe, as if I’d been graced with a special gift I should be thankful for.
An uncomfortable feeling settled around me as her words registered. Lisa was right. Gravity was nature’s greatest power. A power mankind never managed to manipulate, no matter the technology used. Why God above found it to be a good idea to gift one fragile human with this power was beyond me.
“Anything else?”
“Yes, but it’s hard to describe. My perception changes. Every sense is suddenly on high alert. The first time it happened was when I was jumping over the fence in the alley.” I threw a glance at Lisa who nodded, indicating no further explanation was necessary because she already knew the background. “It suddenly felt as if my brain was working differently. I could process information as I’ve never been able to do before.”
“Please explain.”
“I could zoom in and out with my sight. I also knew how high to jump, how to land without getting hurt, how many seconds I needed to cross the street… I was overwhelmed. But there are a lot of details I can’t recall anymore.”
“Jimmy told me. I hope you’ll forgive him for sharing your past with me, but every bit of information can be useful.”
“It’s okay. I’ve accepted being confronted with it often since I’ve been here.”
“I can imagine. So, your ability allows you to manipulate gravity, but it also allows you to process the information necessary to do so. Have you ever tried to trigger your ability on purpose?”
“Only once. Two days ago when I tried to get Dylan out of the Bluster.”
“Ah yes, I’ve heard you did a great job.” She chuckled, giving me a knowing smile. “And how did you do that?”
“I don’t know. I was afraid for Dylan and the others, so it came naturally, I guess.”
“I see. Well then, I want you to reach your ability.”
“How?”
“Close your eyes and concentrate, then focus on the center of your ability. I don’t want you to trigger it, just get a feel for it.”
I’d already done something similar when meditating outside in the woods. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and concentrated.
For a few minutes, nothing happened. I was acutely aware of Lisa’s eyes on me, and it unsettled me slightly.
“How long should it take? You don’t need to sit here all the time, you know. I mean, if you have work to do…”
Lisa laughed. “Oh darling, this is what I’m doing. As I already said, I like being surrounded by your unique vibes. It’s very refreshing. As for the time you need to make improvement, I can’t tell you. Maybe hours, maybe days. Who knows?”
She left the question hanging in the air, completely unfazed. Days? If it took me that long just to reach my ability, how long would it take to wield it?
“Don’t trouble your thoughts with uncertainties, my dear. I worked with Shifters who needed months to make a visible change in their body. I have the feeling you’ll have it easier. Your power is eager to get out, it’s already pushing you. You just need to find the same… frequency, I should say, to communicate with it.”
It was surprising how Lisa’s words gave me some new and much-needed motivation. So, I did as I was told, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes again.
After some time, I managed to gather the right amount of concentration to blend out my surroundings. The warm and comfortable aura of Lisa’s room helped me relax. I tried to concentrate on my belly where I felt the tingles every time my power came forward. I sensed there was something there, something misty, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
A sensation like tiny butterflies buzzing inside me started to overcome me. I tried to reach it with my mind, but the elusive substance was hard to catch, as if it was trying to escape my reach. I clamped my eyes tighter together in an attempt to enhance my focus.
It was frustrating, really. It was like watching the faint light of a star in the sky—you can make it out clearly in your peripheral vision, but whenever you try to look at it directly, it fades away. I felt my breathing grow harsher, and sweat started to form on my forehead. The tingling feeling in my stomach expanded until it became nauseating, and I huffed in exhaustion.
“That’s good, Haylie, you’re almost there. Don’t give up now.” Lisa’s words sounded as if from far away.
How do you catch something that’s untouchable and invisible? It was like a feeble attempt to grab air and bottle it. The harder I tried to hone in, the more restless the substance became. It started to move faster, zig-zagging through me and turning my stomach upside down. I swallowed down bile and tried my best not to throw up on Lisa’s fluffy carpet.
The mass of smoke became a little bit clearer. Maybe I didn’t need to touch but just encircle it. I tried to wrap my mind around it and was surprised to feel it was working, so I formed a barrier to contain and narrow it. It felt weird, as if someone was poking around in there.
At first, the thing struggled against my restraints, but when it realized there was nowhere to go, it became calmer and changed its texture, mutating into a pale, golden, gel-like thing, less airy now. Before I could have a closer look, the feeling of falling suddenly overcame me, causing my eyes to snap open.
“Easy there. I’ve got you.” Lisa’s words were soothing as she hovered over me.
I blinked, disorientated for a moment. Lisa had cushioned my head before I toppled over. I tried to get up, but Lisa held me back.
“Stay down for a minute and breathe slowly. The first times are always the hardest. They use a lot of energy.”
I just nodded, only too eager to stay where I was. “That was… indescribable,” I muttered and cleared my throat as my mouth was suddenly extremely dry. Lisa handed me a glass of water, and I took a few sips, only to fall back against the cushions.
“I can imagine. I never felt vibes so strong before,” the woman said.
“My vibes changed?”
“Of course. They were nearly tangible, like electricity sparkling in the air. I figured you wouldn’t keep upright much longer, so I put some cushions around you,” she added with a smile. I’d been too wrapped up in my mission to notice Lisa scurrying around the room.
“How long have I been out?”
“For nearly three hours.”
“Three hours?” How had time passed so quickly? “It felt like half an hour at the most.”
“That’s completely normal. Tapping that deeply into your core is like stepping into another dimension of time. Your consciousness processes your sense of time differently. It will adapt the more you’re working on it, I promise. How are you feeling? I’m glad your color has returned.”
“Better.” I sat up slowly, glad my stomach had settled.
“Do you feel any different?”
“Yes, but I can’t say what’s different, for sure,” I confessed, rubbing my belly in soothing circles.
“It’s an unfamiliar sensation for you. You’re creating a new awareness of your body. It can be quite overwhelming.” Lisa rose, smoothing out the wrinkles of her dress. “I think that’s enough for today. I don’t want to use up all your energy before your next training session. I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she added with a smile I returned.
~~~
When I left Lisa’s office, a comforting sensation settled around me. My head felt clearer and my limbs relaxed as if I’d done something that was long overdue, like a massage for my sore muscles or a long-needed orgasm after weeks of sexual frustration. Not that I’d felt any arousal back there, but the feeling of tranquility, gratification, and contentment afterward was similar. I quickly dismissed that dirty thought when I remembered who I’d have to train with in my next session.
Dylan wanted me to meet him at the tunnels on the southern side. Why there and not in the training hall, as usual, I would learn soon.
It was still a mystery to me why he’d volunteered to train me personally in the first place. I’d long ago realized both of us were connected deeper than we’d thought, and with everything going on, we may have come to a truce. Was it possible he had forgiven me?
Well, one thing was clear—I still reminded him of Jenna, and I couldn’t say that issue was making it any easier. I recalled him shouting Jenna’s name in his agony, the memory painful in so many ways. Did he remember he’d whispered my name wistfully as soon as my lips touched his, although his eyes had still been glazed over with the effects of the Bluster?
My wandering thoughts came to a stop when I noticed Dylan waiting for me next to the massive steel doors leading down to the tunnels. I remembered walking through them with a pissed-off Cassie in front. Huh, it felt like years had passed since the day I’d first set foot down here.
When I halted a few feet in front of Dylan, he studied me for a moment, as if searching for something. Then, he ordered in his usual deep and commanding tone, “Follow me,” and swung open the heavy steel doors with ease. His biceps bulged under the traction, and it took every ounce of self-control to keep my fingers from gliding over the hard curves.
For a few moments, we walked in silence through the maze of tunnels. I hoped Dylan didn’t intend to dump me anywhere down here. I’d never find the way back on my own.
“You look different,” Dylan suddenly broke the silence, casting me a sideway glance.
“I do?” I quickly lifted my hand to feel if my braid was still in place, but Dylan sidestepped my question.
“How was your lesson with Lisa?”
It was funny how easily he could talk to me now. Well, he still wasn’t a man of many words, but at least, he’d warmed up a little bit.
“Um, insightful.” There was no other way I could explain what I’d experienced in my first mental training lesson. Dylan’s lips hinted at a smile.
“Sounds like Lisa.”
If he was affected by our out-of-place kiss from two nights ago, he didn’t show it. I was glad. I was already emotionally overloaded enough for one day.
After some left and right turns, Dylan stopped in front of another heavy door and pushed it open, making it creak and groan. When he entered, low-hanging, fluorescent bulbs lit up one by one, illuminating a room that looked like a huge, rectangular garage, big enough to park ten cars. It was empty except for a few training mats littering the floor. I shivered from the chill in the air, but I figured I’d get warm soon.
Putting down my bag, I took in my surroundings. “Why is there a training room in the tunnels?” I wanted to know while Dylan retrieved wrist bandages from his training bag.
“This was Jenna’s training room. She needed a safe place to practice. The walls are fireproof concrete.”
The answer came unexpectedly, but it made sense for Jenna to train far away from the main area. Blackened stains dotted the walls where flames appeared to have scorched the surface. I felt oddly touched all of a sudden. Dylan had taken me to a place which seemed to have belonged to Jenna alone. A woman he’d adored, probably loved. Did it torture him to be here? With me? If yes, he was hiding it well.
“The other training halls are full during classes, so I figured this was a good place for your workout. Ready?”
Of course, he’d already jumped into training mode. I nodded, although I had no idea what my new trainer had in store for me.
“I want to build on your personal strengths. You’re flexible and have an amazing control over your body. This gives you a great advantage. So, let’s start with some kicks. Kick me as high as you can.”
I shot him an irritating look. “You want me to kick you?” Usually, we were just indicating blows but never fighting for real. Only well-trained Intermediates fought in actual physical combat.
Dylan just gave me a mocking smile, flexing his fingers. “I’ll block them. Just do it, come on.” He beckoned me with one hand and spread his legs wide into a stable stance. “Start with your stronger leg. Give me one frontal kick and one sidekick.”
We hadn’t trained kicks in class yet, so I wasn’t sure how to execute one properly. Settling back on my left foot, I kicked out with my right, aiming at Dylan’s chest. He caught my ankle easily, smacking it away and causing me to stumble slightly.
“Don’t just focus on how high to aim. Your kick needs to get enough momentum to do real damage or at least, throw your opponent off balance. Never lose your stability. Now sideways,” he instructed, and I aimed at Dylan’s left upper arm. Again, he parried my kick.
“Again.”
And so it went on and on. After countless kicks, he finally made me use my left leg, which was easier said than done. First, because I wasn’t nearly as stable on the right leg and second, my muscles were already burning, making it even harder to use it as a supporting leg.
But Dylan was relentless. His commands grew harsher the weaker I became, pushing me to my limits. Sweat ran down my body from head to toe, and I got more restless with each kick, letting out my frustrations with battle cries.
Dylan made me make the same moves over and over again until I could have hit him blindly. My kicks were getting stronger, but I still hadn’t managed to throw Dylan off balance or kick higher, for that matter.
After a few more rounds, I switched legs again, but the moment had finally come for my knees to give out. I buckled, and Dylan grabbed my wrist at the last second before I tumbled down—not that I would have gotten hurt landing on the mat, so I wondered why he’d bothered to catch me at all.
“I think we’re done for today,” he announced calmly, and I could only give him a sour look in return. Drenched in sweat, my hair was plastered to my sticky face, and my cheeks were red from exhaustion, but he still looked like he had when we entered the training room hours before.
“You think?” I asked sarcastically. Again, I got that mocking smile from him—a smile that was doing funny things to my belly.
“No pain, no gain, babe.”
Babe? I quickly averted my eyes so Dylan couldn’t see how much this word irritated me all of a sudden.
Again, we walked back in silence. It was awkward—whenever we were training, everything seemed normal, both of us focused and good team players. But given time alone, neither of us knew how to act around each other.
Just as Dylan was about to open the heavy steel doors leading back to the underground civilization, a thought must have occurred to him, for he froze mid step before turning around to face me. He rubbed three fingers over his forehead, and it looked as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start. Uh-oh… I could only guess where this was heading.
“Haylie, what you did… I mean…” He cursed under his breath and stuffed his hands into his pockets, then flickered his eyes to me. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what you did, but… dammit, Haylie, I could have killed you,” he finally revealed, and it sounded as if the words hurt him physically.
I know, was what I thought, but instead swallowed. “You didn’t,” I replied in a low voice, shifting the strap from my training bag to my other shoulder.
“It was damn close,” he countered, his eyes pleading for me to understand.
“You were saying Jenna’s name, so I figured…” I trailed off, not knowing how to say what I wanted to say.
“What?” he pressed.
“I figured you’d spare m… her.”
I caught myself at the last second before saying ‘me.’ It hurt, really hurt he’d seen Jenna instead of me. And it hurt more than I wanted to admit that I was the one to remind him of her every single time.
Guilt crossed his features. The pain must have been drawn on my face despite my efforts to conceal it. His eyes flew to the floor, and after a long pause, he nodded and turned again to grab the door handles. I wouldn’t have expected for him to say anything else, but after he stood there motionless for a moment, he added in a steady voice,
“I knew it was you the second you were in my arms.”