"Are you going to be OK seeing Ryan at the wedding?"

I know Kay's asking because the rehearsal was awkward, but that wasn't because of Ryan. It was because Kay and Brent got in a huge fight right at the beginning and everyone was walking on eggshells all night.

"Yeah," I assure her, "we're grown ups."

Honestly, even if we couldn't stand each other, I'd still tell Kay we were fine. With less than 24 hours till the I dos, there's no time to bail out now.

So Ryan and I will be fine, walking down the aisle together and standing at the altar together and smiling at each other knowing that we almost had to do it all again in a year only on our own dime next time.

Funny how, after all these years of thinking about having my own wedding someday, I can be so relieved to know that I don't have to worry about fitting into the right dress, or whether or not my guests will like the caterer I pick out, or if the photographer will show up, or the DJ will get drunk.

Those just aren't the things you think about when you're envisioning your big day, but after going through the whole night mare with Kay's wedding planning, I can honestly say I'm nothing but relieved at calling off my own plans. Well, mostly relieved, that is.

"How 'bout you?" I ask, "Are you going to be OK seeing Brent at the wedding?"

Kay laughs shyly. "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed," she says, throwing her hands over her face and collapsing back on the cushions of the sofa in our hotel suite.

Tomorrow night this will be Mr. and Mrs. Ainsley's honeymoon suite, but tonight it's just me and Kay. The rest of the girls are across the hall and Brent and his groomsmen are staying on another floor.

"I really blew things out of proportion, didn't I?" Kay peeks between her fingers and grins at me.

"Maybe just a little," I agree.

"It's just been so crazy," she tells me, "I couldn't handle one more thing. I told him to talk to her before I snapped but you know how men are."

I nod understandingly.

Brent's mom has been on Kay's last nerve for weeks. Rearranging the seating chart, calling the florist to request "more yellow" in the centerpiece bouquets, and tonight she took it upon herself to change the champagne that Kay and Brent had ordered.

"Who does that?" Kay lays her head back on the arm of the sofa and asks the ceiling. "Who just butts in to someone else's wedding and changes something like that at the last minute?"

I decide not to rekindle this fire by pointing out that it had been done a few days ago. We just found out about it tonight.

"Mother in laws," I tell her with a sarcastic humor. "Mother in laws that were trying to be nice," I add as a reminder.

Brent's mom actually sprung for an upgrade, ordering the champagne that Kay had wanted but decided was out of the budget.

"That's not the point," Kay's voice is muffled by her arm over her face, "everyone keeps getting involved and making decisions for me without asking. I'll be so glad when this is all over."

She sounds like she means it too. I barely got started with the wedding planning before I couldn't take anymore, I can only imagine what it's been like for Kay who's been working on this for a whole year.

"Do you even still want to get married?"

The question has been burning me up for the last week or so. Ever since Kay and Brent started fighting about everything.

"Or do you just feel like you have to go through with it because everyone's expecting you to?"

Tonight was a fiasco. After Kay saw the champagne in the kitchen she had a melt down. She tore into Brent in front of everyone and we all just stood around trying not to notice until Brent finally got her to go outside.

When they came back in to start the rehearsal things were pretty tense.

At least it made it easier to be in the same room with Ryan.

With so much distraction going on around us, there was no time to focus on us.

Kay pulls her arm off her face and turns over so she's propped up on one elbow to look at me straight on. "Of course I want to get married," she tells me, sincerity dripping from her voice, "I love Brent."

Her face breaks into a wide grin, "I can't wait to be Mrs. Ainsley. I'm so excited I could die!"

With that she throws herself back in the sofa and squeals, kicking her heels into the cushions excitedly.

"We're hoping that I'm pregnant by the time we get back from the honeymoon," she blushes as she confesses to me.

I'm a little shocked. I had no idea they were planning on starting a family so soon. Ryan and I had agreed we wanted to wait till after we'd been married for a while. Seeing as how we were already getting married so fast under such unusual circumstances.

"Wow," I tell her, sounding not nearly as happy for her as I should be, "that's cool, good luck."

"You sure you're OK, Kim?" Kay asks.

Nodding, I force a smile and fight the sting of threatening tears.

"I'm fine," I promise, "Why do you keep asking?"

Kay's mouth twists down at one corner and her eyes narrow at me, "Because you love Ryan." She throws her hand up to stop my protest, "You love him and he loves you and I don't understand how you guys haven't figured that out yet?"

With a shrug, I shake my head. "Maybe he doesn't love me?"

Kay looks skeptical but she doesn't argue.

"A man who loved me would have put up a fight for me, right?" I ask, not really sure Kay has the answer. "He wouldn't have just let me go like that, would he?"

"Sweetie," Kay's face goes soft with sympathy, "a man who loves you wants you to be happy. Even if that kills him inside. Maybe he loves you more than he knows how to tell you?"

I roll my eyes at her and head to the fridge to refill my wine glass.

I like thinking that Kay might be right, that Ryan loves me. That he loves me enough to let me make the biggest mistake of my life.

But I can't help but think that a man who really loved me wouldn't let me make the biggest mistake of my life.