"What do you have to do now?" I ask my buddy as he waves off the waitress's offer to bring him another beer while he pulls his keys out of his pocket and throws a couple of bills on the table between us.

"Cake," he says with a grin.

"Huh?"

The man has been a grinning idiot since back in September. Frankly, I'm getting sick of his shit.

"Cake, man," Brent claps me on the shoulder as he takes a step closer to leaving, "we gotta go taste cake samples and decide what we want."

I shake my head, "Fucking whipped, dude," I mutter into the pint glass the waitress sets down in front of me.

Brent chuckles-- fucking chuckles! Like some 1960's television dad or some shit-- and I swear the bastard's just lucky that I've had a couple of beers with lunch or I'd deck him right here.

"And loving it, man," he tells me...again...sounding so fucking happy about it that I want to puke. "You wait, man, your day is coming."

I shake my head again. I've been shaking my head for almost a damn year now, ever since he dragged me into the jewelry store to pick out a ring like some love sick, pussy-whipped chump.

His hand lands hard on my shoulder again with another fucking chuckle, "One of these days, dude," he says, like it's a fucking premonition. "One of these days, you're gonna meet some chick and you're gonna fall for her so hard you're gonna make me look like I went down fighting."

Brent and I have been buddies since elementary school, it's not like I'm going to bail out on being his best man or anything, but shit! Watching him mooning over his fiance like she invented air or some shit is getting harder by the minute.

"Whatever, man," I grab his hand and throw it off my shoulder, "go eat your fucking cake."

When he's gone and I can sit here drinking my beer in peace, I pull my phone out of my pocket and open up the messages from the latest dating app I signed up for.

All this wedding shit must be getting to me, I think as I scroll through another round of unimaginative greetings from women that all look like they've been ridden hard and put away wet.

Deleting the messages without replying to any of them, I slip the phone back in my pocket and stare across the dining room of our local brew pub at a couple sharing lunch at one of the booths.

They're an older couple, maybe in their 50s or so. They're both wearing rings and there's a feel to them that makes me think they're actually married to each other. The woman says something and the man laughs. They're holding hands across the table and when she pulls her hand away to take hold of her fork, he looks like he doesn't want to let go.

I drain my pint and stare at the empty glass, deciding whether or not I should have her bring me one more round.

Shit like the couple across the room has been more and more noticeable lately and I blame Brent and his damn wedding planning.

Lately it seems like everyone around me is in a relationship-- and happy about it. Not like it used to be, either, not just happy to be getting laid without the drama. Everyone's getting hitched.

My buddies are buying rings that cost more than our first cars-- OK, more than the car some of them are still driving.

They're getting pre-approved for mortgages and saving for down payments on houses and shit.

Some of the guys even have kids already.

It's not like I gotta do all the same shit my buddies are doing. I'm cool being the last man standing in our circle. At least I won't have to share the stripper at the bachelor party.

I just...I glance at the older couple again and then back at my phone with a frown...it's just that it'd be kinda nice to meet someone, you know?

A girl that I can stand to talk to for longer than it takes to get in her pants. A girl I want to keep around after I've gotten into her pants, one that I'd like to have stick around. Forever.

I don't acknowledge that thought as I close out the bill and slide my phone back in my pocket.

That kind of thinking is crazy and it's only going to get me in trouble.

Sure, it'd be great to find a woman I could fall in love with. Someone that I could settle down with, start a family and build a life with.

She could decorate the house so it doesn't look like a dorm room, and we could do the dishes together after the kids go to bed and talk about real shit and stuff...she could talk to my mom when she calls so I don't have to.

And fuck! Mom would love it. She'd get some grand kids and me and the missus could go out of town and stay in a nice hotel and...

This time I shake my head hard, trying to clear out the crazy that's running through it.

A wife. I laugh to myself as I leave the pub. Me. Married, making babies,and planning family vacations. The guys would have a field day if they knew I was thinking about that shit.

I'm not looking to play the prince in some chick's fairy tale.

I'm pushing 30 and I haven't come across a girl yet that I'd be willing to get shackled to for the long haul.

Where do you even find a wife, anyway? Like, if you were really looking? If you'd made up your mind that what you really wanted was a solid relationship, with a woman you could trust with your life? your money? all your shit? your heart?

I've seen what happens when a guy goes all in too soon. Jake married his high school sweetheart right after graduation and look where that got him-- divorced with a couple of kids that he doesn't get to spend enough time with now that his ex got remarried and moved away.

Fuck that shit, man.

If you go into every first date hoping to find your fucking happily ever after, you miss all the warning signs that she's a gold digger or a cheater or just fucking batshit crazy.

Standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change at the cross walk, I watch a couple about my age on the opposite corner. They're holding hands and she headbutts his shoulder. He allows the force of her hit to knock him sideways and laughs before turning to kiss her.

I know that couple. Not personally, mind you, but they're down here every week at this time, meeting up to have lunch together.

Must be nice to have someone like that. Someone that you want to spend your time with, someone you'd go out of your way to hang out with even when you've been together for fucking ever.

Like Brent and Kay are going to be. I know it. They only dated for a few months before he popped the question, but then, they met through some website agency thing that's all about arranging marriages so they knew what they were getting into from the beginning.

I knew Brent was going to go through with it the first time I saw him and Kay together.

Sure, a lot of guys think Brent scored cuz his girl looks like a swim suit model but that's not why he's stupid for her. They caught one hell of a lucky break when they signed up for that dating service.

Some people are just made for each other and it's a damn miracle when they manage to find each other by chance-- I don't blame my buddy for hiring someone to help him out.

If I thought the lady who set him up with Kay could do half as good a job finding a woman for me, I'd give her my credit card number right now.

As the I pass the couple from the other corner in the cross walk, I pull my phone out of my pocket and hit call on Brent's number--

"Yeah man, how's your fucking cake?...Cool. Yeah, I was just wondering who that chick was you met Kay through?"