Chapter1
Hazel
Hazel Rose hadn’t allowed herself to fall in love. Not since Robbie. He’d been her childhood sweetheart and the boy that she had always thought she would spend the rest of her life with. They’d gone from teenaged lovers to being in a proper adult relationship and she believed that she didn’t need anyone else but him. No matter how many times her mother had told her that she should spread her wings before deciding something so big, she would adamantly shake her head and announce that Robbie was the only man for her. Robbie, as it turned out, believed differently. While he was whispering sweet nothings in her ear, he was also doing the same to someone else. A girl that he had met one day while shopping for groceries.
“How the hell did you even get together with her? I mean, did you just go up to her and tell that she had really nice oranges in her basket or did she like the look of your bananas?” Hazel had screamed at him.
He’d just one day, seemingly out of the blue, come home and told her that he had met someone else. Just like that. She’d cried, begged, pleaded and threw herself at his feet, but his mind was made up. And just like that he was gone. After that she hadn’t been interested in men. There was the odd one night stand, or the casual weekend away with someone. But the moment anything started getting serious she would pull away. She’d even had trouble when it came to sex after Robbie. He’d always made her believe as if she were the sexiest girl alive but after that, every “I want you” and every “You’re beautiful” just felt like a joke.
What was worse was that she had told her kids that she was going to marry that man. Hazel was a teacher of very adorable but very nosy seven year olds. They loved to talk and they enjoyed nothing more than listening to Hazel talk about how in love she was with Robbie. They’d even met him a few times. Once, this was when they had first started dating, he had come in with flowers and had kissed her in front of all of them. She had giggled when she had turned around and seen their shocked faces. Their eyes were big and none of them said a word. Until one kid shouted “Eww” and the whole class burst out laughing. Thankfully, she didn’t have the same kids when Robbie had left her.
In the last year of being with him he had definitely been a lot less affectionate – although she hadn’t realized it at all until he was not there anymore. She started to think back to the last time that he had bought her flowers, or bought her anything in fact, and the only thing she could remember was birthday or Christmas presents. The spontaneous nature of their relationship had disappeared long before she had even realized. But, of course, things like that were bound to happen when you were with someone for that long. Well, that’s what she told herself anyway. Robbie might not have come into class with flowers and kisses, but that didn’t stop her from telling the children how they were going to get married.
“Miss! Miss! Miss!” The cries would come daily.
“Yes Trevor? Yes Angelique? Yes Quinton?”
“Do you have a ring?”
“What is your dress going to look like?”
“Will you have babies?”
And Hazel would take great pleasure in answering them.
“No ring – but I’m sure I’ll get one soon. He knows me well so I’m hoping it’s quite a simple little silver band. I don’t like those big and fancy rings too much. I wonder how he’ll give it to me? One day kids, I’ll come in here, wearing a shiny new ring on my finger and I’ll have some cool stories to tell you.”
“My dress is going to be white and will flow all the way down to my toes. It’s going to be the kind of dress that makes me look beautiful and I want it to move easily at the bottom so that I can dance. I love dancing.”
“Yes. We definitely want babies. I want two. Robbie wants, like, four. But we’ll discuss that once we’re married, of course. And I’ll bring in the babies here so that you can all see them.”
So it was with her head down that Hazel walked into school one day with bloodshot eyes and tear stains down her face. She’d tried to teach them without getting into any sort of personal discussion but they were so used to her stories that she knew they would ask her. It took a full hour before someone dared to put up their hands. A little girl.
“Miss Rose?”
“Yes Susie?”
“Why are you crying?”
Hazel Rose had broken down then. In front of all the children. And with a heavy heart and shoulders that now stooped downwards – she told them that her and Robbie had broken up. It was difficult to see their faces become sad for her. Seven year olds should not know that kind of sadness and she had felt bad for telling them. She knew that she should’ve made up some story about why Robbie had left or pretended as if it was what she wanted. But it wasn’t easy to pretend when your heart had just been broken. She half expected to get letters of complaints from their parents for destroying their kid’s faith in love. But those children had been her pillars of strength and support for her. If they were teenagers she’d expect there would’ve been cries of “Screw him” and “What a bastard, you don’t need him” but seven year olds were a different breed.
After that, she had received a drawing from the entire class – which they said they had worked on together as a group – featuring a very pretty lady (herself), with flattering stick like arms and long black hair. The girl had a big bright smile and was holding hands with a big smiling man. The man had dark hair (Robbie had blonde hair), he was tall (Robbie was short) and above them were little red and pink hearts. They had found her another man.
Hazel had smiled every day in class after receiving the picture. But she was only smiling for them. Inside she thought that she would never be the same. She had been living with Robbie. That’s what happens when you are with someone for such a long time – your whole life is together. They had gotten the apartment just after college and when he left she wasn’t sure how she was going to survive there on her own. Firstly, the place was big and rent was not cheap. It was fine with two salaries but not so good with one.
Secondly, the whole place just reminded her of him. Even once she had taken down all the photographs it was hard not to think of him. Every corner of the house held a memory. Something they had done together. There was even a stage, when they had first moved in, when they had tried to have sex in every room. They had managed in every room except the laundry room, which had simply proven to be too small and far too uncomfortable. When Robbie left her she had spent a lot of time in that laundry room – the one room without a memory.
But two months later, after investing far too much money into staying there, she decided to move out. She found herself a sweet little apartment on the opposite side of town from where he had moved. It was half the rent and was also close enough to work that she could walk. She spent the next few months doing the place up and making it her own. She loved that apartment, even though the nights were tough and lonely.
It had taken a full year before she had finally gone on her first date. His name was Aaron. He was tall with dark hair and a smiling face – quite similar to the stickman that the kids had drawn for her. The date had gone well. He’d taken her to a very cozy little Italian restaurant and they had dined on pasta and far too much wine. Hazel found herself relaxing and enjoying herself for the first time since Robbie had left and for a brief moment, she had thought that she was finally over what had happened. At the end of the night, in a haze of alcohol, he had invited her back to his place. And she had accepted. Why not? I deserve this, she had told herself. She hadn’t had sex in forever and Aaron was a good looking man who actually seemed to like her. She had allowed him to take her to his house.
She had followed him to the front door. She had gone inside and admired his place. She had accepted another drink. And she had even allowed him to kiss her. Then he had told her that he liked her a lot and that he could see great things for them. She had felt the hairs on her back stand up. And when he had tried to take things further she had made an excuse to leave. Afterwards, she never saw him again. After that, she had slept with a few guys and gone on a few dates, but refused to let anything get serious. Her heart just wasn’t ready for it. It was still repairing itself from the first time it had broken into a million little pieces.
So it was strange that she had allowed herself to get this close to Damien (who also, as it turned out, looked quite a lot like that stickman).
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered in a tone that suggested nothing but the absolute truth and she decided that she would believe him. Even if it was just because she wanted to.
“So are you.”
And he was, in a rather banged up kind of way. He reminded her a little of Benicio del Toro and the thought always made her smile. Robbie had been all magazine perfect and now she took great pleasure whenever she saw someone with flaws. It was the flaws that made them beautiful – it meant that they had a story. Robbie had been all flawless on the outside and completely flawed in the inside. Damien didn’t try to hide who he was. She ran her finger across his scar, which cut right through his eyebrow so that the hair would never grow back and then she reached over and kissed it.
He looked at her then, perhaps trying to assess the situation. They’d gotten close like this before and she’d always pull away before it went any further. She continued to meet his gaze then, because Hazel wanted Damien to know that she was ready. They had already been on a few dates, already gotten to know each other quite well, but tonight was the first night that she was allowing it to go any further. He pulled gently at her lips and Hazel felt her entire body begin to tremble. She’d forgotten how good this felt. He teased at her lips, playing lightly with her lips until she could take it no more. If this had been anyone else she would’ve pulled away by now. Her body and mind always warned her. But it was different this time. She didn’t want to pull away. And every part of her was screaming ‘give me more’ – that’s when she knew that she was ready.
“Right,” she said and stood up.
They had been seated on the floor, heads bent over books and CD players as if they were straight out the nineties.
“I need more.”
She couldn’t believe that the words were even coming out of her mouth. She didn’t know that she could be this confident. She hadn’t even been that confident when she had been with Robbie for all those years. She took off her shirt and then pulled off her jeans, and then slowly started to take off her bra and panties. Damien tried to stand but she pushed him back down. So he lay back and watched her, a smile forming. Hazel moved around the room, aware of his eager eyes.
She dimmed the light – pretending to be romantic but really because the bright light was a little too revealing – and she put on some music. Then, she pulled Damien up and took off his clothes. He was taller than her so he had to help her with his t-shirt but she had no problem with the jeans. She loved the way he had hardened the moment she had pulled them down. Soon, he was standing naked in front of her. And he was even more beautiful to her in that moment than before. Across his chest was another scar and she reached over to touch it. Then she pulled him to the bed, climbed on top of him and rocked so that he slid inside her. She took his hands and placed one on her breast and one on the crook of her back and then she moved up and down until she could feel him get even deeper and grow even harder inside of her.
For once in her life, she wanted to be seen. She wanted him to look at her in that way. She didn’t mind that he could see her faults. She could see that he liked her. That he wanted her. She bent down and kissed him, then kissed his neck so that he shuddered against her touch. He pulled her down so that she was flat against him, her breasts against his chest, her mouth against his. They kissed and moved and kissed and moved. And it felt good. It felt great.
“Hazel,” he cried out, “I’m going to come.”
She smiled, sat back up and rocked harder, “Me too.”
This time there was no chance of her running away.
***
“Well, that was unexpected,” Damien said to her.
They were both lying on the bed with the covers down to their feet on the bed. The air was cold but they were both still too hot to pull it back up. And still, Hazel felt amazed that she hadn’t immediately wanted to cover herself once they were done. She’d always covered herself after sex with Robbie, even after they had been together for years. She’d assumed that was just normal practice but now, lying comfortably naked next to Damien, she wasn’t so sure.
“Yeah, tell me about it. You were just too darn cute too resist. Really, you are just very, very cute, Mr. Carson.” She kissed him on the nose.
“Me? Cute? I’ll be honest – you’re the first person that has ever referred to me as cute.”
That made her chuckle. “I can imagine. And yet, I find the word very fitting for you. I’m kind of glad that I’m the only one that has called you cute. It’s my word for you. Nobody else’s. You are my Mr. Cute.”
“Best you not tell anyone that. I don’t want everyone going around and thinking I’m cute. I have an image to retain you know. A reputation to uphold. And cute definitely does not fit it. Now… how about a word for you?”
“For me?” Hazel asked. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah, I need a word for you, too. One that nobody else has called you. Let’s see – I’m sure you’ve been called gorgeous, beautiful and cute many times before. So I need a different name. A name that proves that I see you in a way that nobody has seen you before.”
“Oh yeah? This should be interesting.” She perched herself up so that she was facing him. He was still lying flat on his back and he was staring at the ceiling in deep concentration.
“I’ve got it!” he yelled.
“Ooh. Tell me.”
“Nah, I think I’ll keep this one to myself.”
Hazel punched him in the ribs. “You better tell me, otherwise we’re never doing that again.”
“Ooh. Are you threatening to withhold sex?” He grinned at her.
“You bet I am.” Again, Hazel couldn’t believe how confident she was with Damien. She liked the way he made her feel about herself.
“Well, it worked. Okay, your name is Panda.”
“Uh? What? What does that even mean? Oh no, it better not be because you’ve spotted white hair in amongst the dark ones! I’ve been noticing them more and more lately but you know what they say – pull out one and ten more will grow back.” Hazel put her hand up and tried to cover her hair, but this just made Damian laugh.
“No, I haven’t noticed any grey hairs. Although I will be inspecting your head later to see if you’re telling the truth. Actually, Panda was the name of my dog when I was growing up.”
“What? You’re naming me after your dog? I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“Well, I’ve never loved another animal – or human really – as much as I loved that dog.”
Hazel looked at him then. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to her.
“That’s… that’s… so nice of you.” She smiled at him. “Also, it’s a pretty creative name to come up with as a child. All my dogs were unimaginatively Fluffy and Spot.”
“Well, little Panda girl, now that I’ve told you what your new nickname is, you cannot deny me sex. And you know… I quite think I’d like to do it again. Soon. Like now.”
Hazel giggled. This time, she knew that she wasn’t running away.
*
Hazel
“Hazel, we’re having a big Sunday lunch together. On Sunday. Well, obviously.” Her mother laughed at her own joke. “I hope you can make it. I’m in a cooking kind of mood.”
Her mother was always in a cooking kind of mood – which explained her brief fat years as a teenager. Now at least she could indulge whenever she saw them. Before it was an everyday occurrence. Her food was just impossible to say no to.
“I can mom. I’ll definitely be there. But only if you’re making those roast potatoes again.”
“Of course I am. I’ll make extra this time so you and your brother don’t fight after them. I swear, you’d think you were starved the way you act.”
Hazel laughed. “Thanks, Mom. But, uh… would it be okay if I brought someone with me?”
There was silence for a few seconds and then her mother exclaimed, “Is that someone a man?”
Hazel laughed. “Of course it is. Otherwise I would’ve just said something like ‘Rachel is coming with’ – yeah, it’s a man.” Hazel rolled her eyes. She knew that her mother would make a big deal out of it. She just couldn’t help herself.
“And do we know this man?” her mother pried.
“No, you don’t know him. Well, not yet anyway. If you did I would’ve just said ‘I’m bringing Paul.”
“Who is Paul?”
“I don’t know. I just made that up for the sake of my sarcasm.”
“Okay then, so does this man have a name?”
“His name is Damien. We’re kind of dating.”
“Hazel Josephine Rose.” Her mother always called her by her full name when she wanted to make a point about something. “Why on earth are we only finding out about this now? I have not even heard of someone called Damien in your life. Actually, I didn’t even know you were going on dates. And if you’re bringing him to Sunday lunch then this must be more serious than you’re letting on. Don’t think I don’t know you. Theresa, did you know about a Damien?” Her mother called out. “Even Theresa didn’t know. You have kept us all in the dark.”
Theresa was Hazel’s sister in law and the two were good friends. Although, because of her close proximity to her brother and the rest of the family, they weren’t great friends. She certainly didn’t call Theresa up to tell her about her problems, although clearly her mother seemed to think she did.
“Mom, I didn’t tell anyone because I wanted to make sure that we really liked each other. You know how it’s been. I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“And this Damien guy… you think he might be the one?”
Hazel rolled her eyes. “I think it’s far too soon to be thinking like that. But… I like him. He makes me happy.” Hazel smiled to herself at the thought of Damien. He really did make her happy. And Hazel had not allowed a man to make her happy in a very long time.
“Well, then I’m happy. And of course he can come with you for lunch. Thank goodness I’m making those extra roast potatoes now.”
It hadn’t been an easy decision for Hazel to introduce Damien to her family. She knew that it would only signal to him and to herself that they were more than friends. Although, having sex with him proved that already. Just that morning she’d heard a knock on her door and had rushed to get it. It was very early in the morning and she was still in her pajamas. Whoever was coming to see her at this time of the morning must be there for something serious. But when she opened the door she’d found Damien standing with two cups of takeaway coffee. For a moment she thought she was still dreaming. A rather happy dream at that.
“Damien? What you are doing here so early?” She peered out and saw that the darkened sky was only just starting to get light.
“I thought you could do with some coffee,” he said, grinning at her with his cute little lopsided smile that always melted her heart.
“I can ALWAYS do with some coffee. But still, this is an unusual time.”
“But still, I got up and you were the first thing I thought of. Also, you’re just so incredibly cute in those pajamas.”
It hadn’t taken them long to forget about the coffee and within minutes they were on her bed, clothes off and making love. This time it was him that seduced her – making sure that every part of her body was seen to. She had giggled with ticklishness when he had kissed her toes and she had gasped when he had moved up between her legs. And when his body was on top of hers she didn’t once pull away.
Afterwards she had laughed and ruffled his hair. “Was this really just a booty call?” she asked.
“No, I really wanted to bring you coffee. This was a great way to say thank you by the way. Especially since we haven’t even had the coffee yet.”
She went to warm it up in the microwave and then the two of them had climbed back into bed. “So, uh… do you want to meet my parents sometime?” Then she had closed her eyes and groaned, wishing that the words had never come out of her mouth. This was a sure way to scare off any man. But when she had opened her eyes he was smiling at her.
“Yeah, I’d love that. Think they’re going to like a scarred man like myself?”
“Well, you may have some scars, but you’re also exceptionally cute, remember?”
“Oh yes. Of course, I keep forgetting how cute I am.”
“Also, my mom makes the most amazing food. But…hands off the roast potatoes. I already fought with my brother over them the last time. We don’t need a third person to split them with now.”
“You do realize that I now have to try them.”
“What? I mean… they’re disgusting. I warn you against eating those roast potatoes. You know, for the good of your health.”
They’d spent the morning together and later she had called him to inform him that a date had been set for him to meet the family. Even then she thought he would say that he had changed his mind, but he simply said he was looking forward to it. It was only after she had put down the phone that she realized how little she actually knew about his life. She knew that his parents were not alive anymore and that the only family that he had left was his brother. He never spoke about his brother though so she had a feeling that things weren’t so good between them.
She knew that he worked for a carpenter and liked to use his hands. But that was all she really knew about his life. Of course, she knew the fundamentals. She knew the way he made her feel. She knew what made him laugh and what annoyed him. She knew his favorite meals and the fact that he needed two cups of coffee in the morning to survive the rest of the day. She knew that when he woke up in the morning his hair stuck up like a Mohawk and would only go down after a shower. She knew that he was incredibly witty and good with his words. She knew that he liked looking tough but that he was really a softie underneath it all. And she knew that it was only the beginning – because she had plenty of time to get to know him more.
***
“Are you nervous?” Hazel asked Damien as they stood in front of her parents’ house. She was certainly nervous. The last time she had bought a guy home it had been Robbie and that had been so long ago that she had completely forgotten what that even felt like.
“Not at all,” He replied and she grinned.
If he was nervous he was certainly very good at hiding it. He was wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt and yet despite the simplistic attire he still managed to look like he was John Travolta from Grease. It was sexy, that was for sure. She just hoped that her mother would approve. She realized that she was bringing home the complete opposite to Robbie who her parents had once nicknamed ‘the golden boy.’ There was a time when Robbie could do no wrong.
“Hazel! My darling.” Her mother came forward and embraced her and then looked at Damien. “And you must be the famous Damien.”
“I’m famous? That’s good to know. Lovely to meet you, Mrs Rose.”
“Nonsense, call me Angela. Come in, come in.”
“Hi Dad. Dad, meet Damien. Damien, this is my father, Robert.” Her father had been incredibly displeased about Robbie – especially since the two of them had shared a name. Although her father told her afterwards that there was something disconcerting about a grown man who refused to be called by his real name.
“Damien, pleasure to meet you. Welcome to the mad house.”
“Robert! Don’t scare the man.”
Hazel noticed immediately that her mother had said don’t scare the man instead of don’t scare the boy. Was that because they were finally seeing her as an adult or because Damien was impossible to call boy?
“Auntie Hazel! Auntie Hazel! Auntie Hazel is here!” Shaun and Emma came hurtling down the stairs, almost falling and ran to hug her. They were four and five – or five and a half as Shaun liked to say – and were the cutest kids that she had ever known. Although, as their aunt, she was probably being biased.
“Hello, my little munchkins. Have you both been good today?” she knelt down and asked them.
“Yes! Do you have a present for us?” They were literally jumping up and down in excitement.
“Is that the only reason why you’re being so nice to me? In case I have a treat?”
Their little heads looked down in shame. “No, Auntie Hazel.”
“Well you’re in luck. Because I DO actually have something for you.” She handed them both a Lego set and watched them squeal in delight. Just then Mark, her brother, walked in followed by Theresa.
“You really shouldn’t bribe them like that you know?” He came up and kissed her on the cheek.
“I know, but I can’t help it. I’m buying their love. It’s far easier. Mark, Theresa, this is Damien.”
Hazel watched the interaction between them. It was obvious that they were all giving Damien the once over without trying to be too overt about it. Robbie had been a part of the family and they were now over protective over Hazel in making sure that this time they didn’t make the same mistakes she had. They’d just accepted Robbie and assumed that he was a good guy. Now, they seemed to look at everyone more cautiously.
Later, Hazel was in the kitchen with Theresa helping with the preparations and Mark and Damien were outside getting to know each other over a couple of beers. Theresa poked her in the ribs and grinned at her.
“So… he’s gorgeous. I most definitely approve. Way better than Robbie.”
Hazel grinned back. “I know. I was a bit worried because I know he’s got a bit of a bad boy image to him, but he’s actually such a sweetheart. I was just worried that my parents would just see what was on the outside though.”
“Well, trust me, Hazel, we all know not to judge by appearances anymore. Robbie was a Mr. Perfect who turned out to be not so perfect after all. And anyway, who wants squeaky clean – that is incredibly boring. I prefer someone that has stories!”
“Yeah, exactly. That’s what I think, too. I had no idea how much I was missing out on all these years. I really thought I was going to marry Robbie but now I’m so grateful that I’m not. For the first time I actually feel as if it was all for the best. It seems as if things are going well between us. I was a bit worried. Damien doesn’t come from a family like ours. His parents died when he was like thirteen or something so he didn’t have the same family life like I did. I was worried that this was going to be incredibly daunting for him.”
“Look at me though, Hazel. I also don’t come from a family like this, but I love it. In fact, it’s been like a way for me to have the kind of family that I always dreamed about having. Just give him time. You’ll see… he’ll fit right in. I have a good feeling about this one.”
“Thanks, Theresa. So do I.” Hazel felt instantly cheered up by this conversation. Perhaps she really should be calling Theresa more often to tell her things.
“And you know what…?” Theresa said.
“What?”
“You look far happier than I’ve seen you look in a long time. So he must be doing something right.”
“Oh, he is.”
“I’m sure he is.”
That made Hazel laugh and soon the two of them were giggling together like school girls. Mark and Damien walked in and asked what they were laughing about and they yelled, “Nothing” at the same time which only made them laugh even more. Hazel tried to fan her glowing face and she laughed when she saw Damien smiling at her.
Outside they all sat around a big table and passed around big plates of food. Damien had a very healthy appetite which seemed to greatly please Hazel’s mother who always thought suspiciously of people that refused to have seconds. When the roast potatoes came out she saw him eying them eagerly but then instead of dishing up for himself he dished up extra for her. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. She plopped one on his plate so that he could try it, too. It was during dessert when Damien’s phone rang and he went to answer it.
Hazel watched him in the distance and saw how his eyes had narrowed and how frustrated he looked. She wondered who he was talking to and supposed he would tell her later. When he got back to the table, he didn’t say anything but continued to eat as he was before. Hazel kept glancing at him to make sure he was okay but he didn’t look her way. Whoever was on the phone had obviously riled him up and he looked desperate to forget about it. When Mark offered him another beer he smiled gratefully and said that he would love one. Hazel wondered if anyone else had noticed how quickly he drank it. Then, when the coffees were getting made, Hazel watched as Damien sent messages back and forth on his phone and how he quickly canceled a call that was coming through. She was just about to ask him what was going on when he stood up.
“I’m so terribly sorry to do this to you but I just got an urgent call from work and I have to go. This is the absolute worse timing but there is nothing that I can do.”
“From work?” her mother had asked. “On a Sunday?”
“Yeah, some big job that needs finishing for a client tomorrow. I hate that I have to leave. I feel awful. Especially since I was having such a good time.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. These things happen. At least we got to spend most of the day with you. Now, let me go wrap up some food for you to take home.”
Damien said his goodbyes to everyone and Hazel walked him to the door. A strange sensation was building up inside of her that she couldn’t quite place. Fear?
“I’m sorry about this,” he said to her.
For the first time, she felt as if there was something else going on that she was unaware of. He’d always been so open with her, but he seemed to be closed up.
“That’s okay. I’m glad you came,” she said and tried to sound cheery.
He walked off and then turned around and there was a sad smile on his face.
“I love you, Panda.” It was the first time he had said those words.
“I love you, too, cute man.”
When she got home, she sent him a message to let him know that she was back and to tell him that he was welcome to come over when he was done with work. He never replied so she assumed that he must be busy even though it wasn’t like him to work on a Sunday night. She fell asleep early and tried to ignore the warning bells that were going off in her head.
The next morning she expected to see a message from him but the only messages were from her mother and Theresa, both exclaiming how good it was to see her, how good she looked and how much they liked Damien. She responded to them with thanks and didn’t say a word about how worried she was. That morning, at work, she tried to keep a cheery face for the children. Then, a bit later on, she sent Damien another message asking if he was okay. No reply.
After work, Hazel got out her phone and called him. She didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend that didn’t allow her boyfriend to have space but it was just so unlike him not to message her. The phone rang and then cut off. She tried again but the same thing happened.
It was Tuesday afternoon when she finally decided to call the cops. She didn’t know what else to do. She’d gone to his apartment and there had been no reply. His door was locked and his windows and curtains firmly shut. His neighbors didn’t seem to know a thing and she still couldn’t get hold of him on his phone. She didn’t know his brother's number and she didn’t even know where he worked. She didn’t want to call the cops but it seemed to be the only thing left to do. They took down her details and promised to call her back the moment they heard anything. Only ten minutes went by before her phone rang.
“Hello?” She could hear the desperation in her voice.
“Miss Rose. It’s Rusty Williams. We spoke on the phone earlier. I have some news pertaining to your boyfriend, Mr. Damien Carson.”
“Yes?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Mr. Carson was taken to jail in the early hours of Monday morning.”
“JAIL?” What the hell was going on?
“I’m very sorry to inform you but Mr Carson was caught during an armed robbery at the bank. He has been arrested.”
“But… are you sure? I mean… are you sure we’re talking about the same man?”
“Mr. Damien Carson. He has dark hair, dark eyes and a cut across his left eyebrow. Listen Ma’am, I’m very sorry about this. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. He has admitted to the crime and we are not sure how long he will be in for. Thankfully, nobody was hurt in the process but he will be in jail for a good few years.”
“Which… which jail?”
“Unfortunately, the prison that he would normally have gone to for this sort of crime is full. Which means they had to take him to Ashmount State Prison. It’s a maximum security prison which means they do not accept visitors. The only way you’ll get to talk to him is through a lawyer. I’m sorry for the bad news. I can hear that it comes as a surprise.”
Hazel put the phone down with a trembling hand. Of course it came as a surprise! Her whole life was crumbling around her. What was wrong with her? Was she always going to fall for men that lied to her? That had separate lives to the one that they shared with her? But this was so much worse than Robbie. She had always loved Robbie but after meeting Damien she had realized that she had never truly been in love with him. But she was in love with Damien. And now… he was gone. Hazel broke down into a heap on the floor and sobbed until there were no more tears inside of her.
Hazel didn’t go to work that whole week. She told them she was sick and she spent the entire week in bed. She simply just didn’t have the strength to face the rest of the world. She didn’t have the energy to see the happy smiling faces of her children at school. She didn’t tell her mother. She didn’t tell Theresa. She told nobody. She just stayed in bed with the covers pulled up all the way over her and she cried. It was Friday when she finally got out of the house and made her way to the shops. She’d been feeling nauseous all day and wanted to get something to settle her stomach. She wasn’t sure if she had caught a bug or if she was just so run down from what happened.
It was the following Friday when she realized that she hadn’t yet had her period. It was Saturday when she finally went and got herself a few pregnancy tests just to make sure. It was Sunday night, two weeks after that lunch at her parents, when she finally took the tests. It was Monday morning, two weeks after Damien’s arrest, when she discovered the horrible truth she had known all along. She was pregnant.