CHAPTER THIRTEEN

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- NOW -

PHOENIX SHRUGGED INTO his jacket after volunteering to walk out to the main road with me.

It had taken me more time than I wanted to admit to work up the nerve to go inside the computer room.

I’d been hiding out in the guestroom for two hours – ever since I’d left the kitchen.

Axel had texted however to say that he was about twenty minutes away, and knowing that I couldn’t put it off any longer, I’d gotten up to let Phoenix and Kellan know.

I needn’t have bothered getting all worked up. Phoenix had immediately offered to walk out with me, while Kellan had merely shrugged at the news that Axel was coming and continued to stare at the computer screen in front of him. I hadn’t been able to tell what was so engrossing. The screen was filled with a jumble of letters and numbers that looked like complete gibberish to me.

Phoenix had set up a computer program to hack into the police records, but wasn’t sure how long it would take for the program to crack the code. I hoped it would be soon. The quicker we got into those records, the quicker we’d be able to get in contact with Kellan’s friend – providing Phoenix’s program worked. I hoped sincerely that it did – and soon.

I half believed that I’d dreamed the kiss. My heart sped up just thinking about the way his arms had pulled me close and kept me pressed tightly against him, enveloped by his warmth.

It had seemed as though things had been shifting between us. Just small things, here and there, but I’d never foreseen this. I’d known Kellan for years, had nursed a crush on him for a good portion of that time, and I found it almost impossible to comprehend the fact that we’d kissed. That we’d actually taken that step.

Things would never be the same between us again. Had I done the right thing by pulling away? I was tortured by uncertainty.

Phoenix and I left the house and made our way down the narrow, overgrown pathway towards the main road, pushing branches out of our way.

“I guess I really need to do something about all this shrubbery, huh?” Phoenix said sheepishly. He ducked under a branch, pushing his glasses back up his nose as he straightened. “I haven’t been out here for a while. I had no idea it was this bad.”

“I could give you a hand,” I offered, detangling my shirt from a branch before moving forward. It might help me take my mind off things. “I have nothing but time over the next few days.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I clear all this out manually. I don’t have any power tools – just a couple of sheers. It gives me something to do when I can’t stand to look at a computer screen any longer.”

“So?” I glanced down at myself, aware that my new clothes were a little loose on me. “I may be a little on the skinny side right now, but I’m tough. I could cut down some branches. Easy.”

“Okay.” He laughed. “Maybe we’ll get to it later.”

“What made you want to live out here?” I asked him curiously after a few more steps. “I mean, your house is stunning, but it’s in the middle of nowhere. Sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’m being nosey.” I made a face and ducked under a branch.

Phoenix merely shrugged. “I guess I like the privacy and the seclusion.”

“That sounds like something a serial killer would say,” I quipped.

He laughed loudly at that, shaking his head. The unrestrained laughter was infectious and drew a small smile from me. “You are something else, April. Cheeky little thing. I hope you stick around.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I asked in surprise.

“I meant after this is all over. I don’t meet a lot of people or make a lot of friends working from home.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me now,” I said, bumping my shoulder with his.

He was silent for a moment before saying hesitantly, “April?”

“Hmm?” I said absentmindedly, brushing off some leaves that had fallen onto my shoulder. Would Kellan be around after this? He was in my life because of Dad. Would he stick around if we never found him? The thought hurt. Kellan had been a part of my life for so long, I couldn’t imagine not having him around.

Kellan wouldn’t abandon me, a part of me thought. He wouldn’t do that.

I realized that Phoenix hadn’t answered, and turned to glance at him.

“I–” He pulled his glasses off and wiped the lens with the bottom of his shirt. “I noticed one of my cupboards was slightly ajar. I’m guessing that you saw my meds while you were cooking.”

“I didn’t mean to invade your privacy,” I said quickly. “I was just looking for ingredients, and I –”

“No. I mean, yes. I know that. I just don’t want you to think that I’m some… crackpot addict,” Phoenix said, looking flustered. “I don’t take all of them. Most of them I was told to stop taking after they didn’t work, and my doctor gave me something else. I never gave that cupboard a second thought. It was just a place to dump all my discarded meds. But, well, looking at it through someone else’s eyes, I realized it looked a little odd.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself,” I said, and I meant it.

“I have obsessive-compulsive disorder,” he said in a matter-of-fact way, his eyes focused on his steps.

“I don’t know much about it,” I admitted. The term OCD was used so casually in conversation, I never really took the time to have a look into the actual medical disorder.

“It can vary for different people. For me, it’s checking. I check and recheck things repeatedly. That the doors are locked, that the stove is. It sounds harmless enough, but when you’ve checked the same thing over and over again for five hours straight, it isn’t. I’ve had some form of OCD since I was a teenager. It used to be about checking and rechecking my school work. Then there was a slight hoarding phase. But I’m doing good now. I have a weekly online therapy session, and my new meds are working great. They have side-effects, of course, but they’re regulating my compulsions. Most people don’t really know what being OCD means. I’m still not a serial killer, I promise.” He shot me a wry smile.

I laughed as the serious mood shattered. Sobering up a little, I told him, “I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“Thanks. It can be hard, but I’ve got good people in my life. Kellan’s seen me at my worst, but he’s stuck around. To this day, I still find it hard to believe.” His face darkened, his thoughts turning inwards.

“Of course he’s stuck around. You’re awesome.” I smiled reassuringly, curiosity growing within me. “Kellan told me that you guys met in foster care?” I said, shamelessly fishing for information.

Kellan wasn’t very forthcoming about his past, and curiosity was one of my shortcomings. Mom had always maintained that my inquisitiveness came from Dad and would warn me that it would get me into trouble one day. God, I missed her.

“Yeah. I was the shy, quiet kid he took under his wing. He was a tough little bastard even then, or at least he pretended to be.”

I tried to imagine Kellan as a child, young and vulnerable, but I just couldn’t picture it. When I’d first met him, he’d been an angry fifteen-year-old with a massive chip on his shoulder. It was clear however that both Kellan and Phoenix’s childhoods had impacted their lives profoundly.

“He told me that you guys lost touch for a while, and that you met again a few years ago?” I asked, my mind on the puzzle that was Kellan Reed. He was great at his job and could be a mean, arrogant bastard at times... but he’d really stepped up to the plate these past few weeks. He’d stayed with me to make sure I wasn’t alone. He’d paid my bills. And he’d even tried his hand at comforting me, giving me a hug and bringing me a guitar to cheer me up last night. His kiss… was lethal, his face worthy of Adonis. He’d make some girl very happy one day. Why did the thought cause my stomach to twist uncomfortably?

“We’re almost at the road,” Phoenix said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

The trees and bushes thinned out, opening out to a clearing near the open road. Axel’s car was there across the street; an old Honda that an ex-boyfriend of his mom’s had sold to him a few years ago.

Axel climbed out of the car, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder as he crossed the road in a few big strides and pulled me into a bone crushing embrace.

‘You’re really okay?’ he signed, taking a step back.

“Yes. I’m more than okay,” I talked as I signed so Phoenix wouldn’t be left out of the loop. Back when we’d been in high school, we’d gotten a kick out of using ASL around others, almost as though we had our own secret language. We’d outgrown that now – save for a few special occasions with complete douches. “Phoenix, meet my best friend, Axel. Axel, this is Phoenix,” I introduced them, noticing how pale and tired Axel looked. I knew instinctively that it was because of me, and another surge of guilt cursed through me.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Phoenix said cheerfully, and then glanced at me a little uncertainly, his smile faltering. Before I could explain that Axel read lips, he spoke.

“You too, man,” Axel said aloud, his voice kind of gruff. He looked wary as he eyed the woods around us.

“Come on. It’s a bit of a walk,” I said, signing too.

Axel was wide-eyed as the house came into view fifteen minutes later. I was struck by its opulence too, it seeming bigger, grander, in the daylight.

“Nice digs, man,” Axel said, his eyes getting even wider as we walked into the large building. His reaction, a mirror image of my own, made me smile. Axel glanced away from the ceiling, his eyes latching onto mine. He winked, though I could tell he was still a little uneasy about being here.

“Through here,” Phoenix directed, pushing the door to the den open.

I braced myself as I followed them inside. Kellan – hearing our footsteps – glanced over his shoulder. He nodded politely to Axel, his eyes touching mine for the briefest of seconds, before he gestured at the monitor in front of him. “It’s stopped working,” he said, his whole posture stiff.

Phoenix hurried forward, shedding his jacket as he went. I glanced at a nearby monitor and noticed that the numbers and letters that had moved across the screen before had now frozen.

Phoenix’s fingers flew across the keyboard, but nothing changed on the screen. “System’s been overridden,” he muttered.

Axel sent a questioning look my way, and I shrugged.

‘Have you eaten?’ I asked him instead of going into a lengthy explanation. He shrugged, and I gestured towards the empty hallway. I needed to get away for a bit. I was disappointed about the glitch, the delay it would undoubtedly cause, and I felt suffocated being so close to Kellan. “Come on,” I said, grabbing his arm to urge him along.

Kellan glanced back, his face tight as we backed out of the room. God, why was everything so awkward? I couldn’t stand the tension. I hoped things went back to normal, though I didn’t see how they possibly ever could. I’d never be able to forget the feel of his lips against mine. It just wasn’t possible.

‘I made stir-fry. I’ll heat you some up,’ I signed once we were in the kitchen.

‘Thanks.’ Axel hovered around, looking out of place as I quickly warmed up the food. I warmed a bowl up for myself too, determined to eat as I hadn’t managed more than a few bites earlier. ‘What did you say Phoenix did, again?’ Axel signed, his eyes roaming around the big, beautiful kitchen.

‘He works with computers for some big firm. I don’t really know.’ I hadn’t thought to ask further when Kellan had explained.

‘You said he’s cool, though? We hardly know him and we’re staying...’ His hands dropped awkwardly as Phoenix walked into the kitchen, and I wanted to smile. It wasn’t as though Phoenix would ever know that Axel had just been talking about him.

“How’s it going?” I asked Phoenix. I didn’t blame Axel for his reservation; he’d never been one to trust easily. But I also had no doubt that once he got to know Phoenix better, they’d become fast friends.

Phoenix sighed, wearily. “It’ll take several more hours, but I think we’ll get in... as long as we don’t hit any more roadblocks.”

“That’s fantastic!” I felt immediately better at the prospect of moving forward and finally making some progress.

* * *

The next morning, I decided to make pancakes for everyone. They were quick, and easy, yet tasted delicious.

Unfortunately, Phoenix had hit some more roadblocks last night, and when I’d finally gone to bed at around two AM, he’d still been sat in front of the computer with Kellan.

When I came downstairs, I’d thought that I was the first one up, but it seemed like Phoenix hadn’t gone to bed at all last night. He was still in the same clothes as yesterday, red stubble dotting his jaw, his hands flying across the keyboard. I’d delivered him some coffee, and after trying – unsuccessfully – to get him to move and go take a nap, I’d given up and left him with his computers.

According to him, the program was eighty-nine percent done with decoding the police security system and he didn’t want to hit any last minute snags.

I hoped it was just determination that was fueling him, and that his behavior didn’t have anything to do with his OCD. He’d said just yesterday how he was managing the disorder.

His eyes had been tired and red through his rectangular glasses, and I’d found myself incredibly annoyed with Kellan for letting Phoenix feel as though he’d had to stay up all night to make sure the program continued to work.

“An unfortunate side-effect of the drugs,” Phoenix had told me when I’d tried, for the last time, to get him to go to bed. “I’m used to not sleeping. When I’m tired enough, I’ll be able to sleep.”

I couldn’t have imagined anyone looking anymore exhausted if I tried. How much more tired could someone get?

I sighed, flipping over a pancake as Kellan came into the kitchen. My stomach seemed to flip over right along with the pancake at the sight of him. This was the first time that we’d been alone since the fateful kiss. I hadn’t stopped thinking about it all night, and wondered if maybe he hadn’t either.

“Pancake?” I asked nonchalantly when he paused by the door.

“Sure,” he said, unfreezing from the doorway. “I need a smoke first.”

“You might want to go grab Phoenix before you do. He looked like he could do with some breakfast,” I told him. Maybe he’d be able to convince Phoenix to step away from the computer.

“Phoenix?” he asked, puzzled.

“Yeah, he’s still on the computer,” I said, my voice a little reproachful.

“He’s what?” Kellan’s head jerked up. His mouth snapping shut as he strode back out of the kitchen. Okay, so maybe Kellan hadn’t known that Phoenix had stayed up to monitor the program.

I heard a muffled argument, followed by a door shutting, and guessed that Kellan had also been unsuccessful at getting Phoenix to move.

He came back into the kitchen a few minutes later. “He gets kind of… obsessive when he’s got a project to work on. I can’t believe he’s been in there all night.” He shook his head and headed for the refrigerator, pulling a bottle of OJ out of it.

“Is it like a relapse sort of thing?” I asked hesitantly.

Kellan paused. “I hadn’t – I didn’t realize that he’d spoken to you about it.”

“He told me a little when we walked out to the main road yesterday.”

“I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so. I think he’s just too excited and wired up, and he hates when there are holdups when he’s working on something. When he’s compulsive about something…” He shook his head. “I don’t know how to describe it, but its different to this.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said, turning back to the pancakes.

Kellan paused next to me, and I wished that he’d been able to get Phoenix to come in for breakfast. I wished Axel was awake. Not only was this the first time we’d been alone since yesterday, we were at the scene of the crime.

His eyes met mine, a dozen thoughts seeming to pass through them. He might have said something if Phoenix hadn’t darted into the kitchen just then. “I think it’s done.” He hurried back out as quickly as he’d entered, leaving me and Kellan to stare dumfounded after him.

Then Kellan jumped up in an uncharacteristic show of eagerness and made for the door. I followed, turning off the stove. Axel was coming down the staircase as I entered the foyer, looking sleepy-eyed and rumpled.

‘What’s going on?’ he signed.

‘Phoenix got into the police records,’ I told him, hurrying into the den.

When I stepped inside, practically every computer monitor in the room was lit up. As a consequence of the numerous computers all powered up, the room felt severely overheated.

I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail as Phoenix crouched over a computer, pulling up file after file onto the monitors. “Background records, assignments, rotas... it’s all here.” He looked up, an infectious grin on his face.

“Awesome!” Axel cheered.

“You’re a genius, Phoenix,” I gushed.

“It was rather straightforward once I worked out the kinks,” Phoenix said modestly.

“I don’t know anyone else who could have done it, mate,” Kellan said, clapping him on the back.

“What was that guy’s name? Max?” I said eagerly, rushing to the monitor.

“Max Reynolds,” Kellan confirmed, and Phoenix deftly pulled up his files.

“We’re going to have to compare his shift patterns with the names on the list,” Phoenix said, also bringing up the contents of the flash drive.

It took twenty minutes of research before Kellan was satisfied. “He seems safe. His shifts are usually with his partner, whose name isn’t on the flash drive.”

“I say go for it,” Phoenix confirmed.

“It’s still a big risk to take,” Axel commented, his eyes darting around to keep up with the conversation.

I nodded. “We don’t know how long Dad had that flash drive. There could be other cops that have been recruited since then,” I reminded him.

Kellan looked thoughtful. “I can stake him out for a few nights. See if anything in his routine seems out of character.”

And that’s what he did.

* * *

The next few days went by quickly. Kellan left early most days, taking Phoenix’s car with him to track Max Reynolds as the guy went obliviously about his life. Meanwhile, Axel, Phoenix, and I worked to clear the overgrown path outside his house. It gave us all something to do, and an opportunity to get out of the house – though, technically, Phoenix didn’t have the same restrictions on him about being seen in public as the rest of us did.

I was quickly coming to learn that Phoenix preferred solitude and small groups of people to large crowds. It seemed like a lonely existence to me, but it seemed to work for him. I’d researched obsessive compulsive disorder one night and read up on it. There had been a wealth of information online. So far, Phoenix was nothing like what I’d read up on. I was glad that his meds were working for him.

“Aren’t you missing a lot of college?” Phoenix asked Axel on our third day of clearing out the pathway. He was using a scary looking tool he called a pole saw to cut back the branches that protruded out onto the pathway, while I focused on the shrubs closer to the ground.

I’d learned that Phoenix had graduated last year and had landed a job working for his current company, but he’d made most of his fortune by developing and selling an app while he was still in college.

Axel shrugged, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. “It’s the last week of the semester. We were mostly reviewing stuff. I’m not really missing anything.”

“Hopefully, this should all be over with soon,” I said with conviction I didn’t feel. Truthfully, I didn’t see an end in sight. Even after I went back home and found another job, even if we found Dad... things would never be the same again. They’d never go back to how they were before... at least for me.

Phoenix would carry on being brilliant and designing wicked programs for big companies, making his millions. Axel would go back to college to work towards his dream career. And Kellan would... well, he’d go back to bounty hunting, to working ungodly hours, and putting himself in constant danger.

It was another reason why stopping the kiss had been a good thing. His job didn’t allow him much time for another person.

Hearing a pair of approaching footsteps, I paused and stood up from my crouch. I relaxed when I saw that it was just Kellan, returning from his stake out mission as though my thoughts had conjured him.

He looked cool and put-together, not a single bead of sweat on him, while I felt like a rumpled mess. The weather was warm, but it was the exertion that had us all hot and sweaty.

“You’re back early,” Phoenix commented.

I brushed some hair that had fallen free of my ponytail away from my face. Kellan usually came back much later on in the evening once Max, an apparent Casanova, came home with someone for the night. “Did he actually manage to do anything sinister today?”

“No, nothing remotely evil, or out of the ordinary,” Kellan said. “His… evening entertainment started a little earlier today. It seemed like a waste of time to stick around, or carry on trailing him. I plan to approach him tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I said uncertainly.

Kellan nodded. “He always hits the same bar for a few drinks after his shift ends. So far, he hasn’t really met up with anyone there and doesn’t seem to know the other patrons, so I’m assuming the place is otherwise cop free.

“You think he’ll hear you out?” Phoenix asked.

“By now, Max will know that something’s wrong – first with Mario disappearing, and then us. His Dad was friends with Mario, after all. He’ll have heard about our situation. I think he’ll be more receptive if I approached him in public than if I were to show up at his apartment.”

“I agree,” Phoenix said, placing the pole saw on the ground as the branch he’d been working on finally detached itself from the tree. “Nothing will happen inside the bar with bystanders in every corner. If someone in there was out to do you harm, you could easily slip away.”

“Exactly.” Kellan nodded, glancing back towards the house. He usually crashed for an hour or two when he got back as he had to get up early to trail Max.

“I could go with you tomorrow,” I offered before he could leave.

Kellan gave me a droll stare. Apparently finding the offer too ridiculous to even respond to, he told Phoenix he’d see him back at the house.

More than annoyed, I glared daggers at his retreating back.

To my surprise, he paused mid-step, seeming to deliberate. “Fine,” he said. “You can come.”

“Fine?” I repeated, surprised. Why did I get the feeling that this wasn’t a victory?

“Fine?” Axel reiterated, though his voice was laced with anger rather than surprise.

“Yes, fine.” Kellan turned around, making his way down the cleared path towards the house. He was several feet away when Axel dropped his broom and hurried to catch up with him.

“I’ll be right back,” Axel muttered.

I stared at his back as he caught up with Kellan, wondering what on earth he had to say to him. They’d barely spoken to one another during the past few days. I didn’t think it had anything to do with the communication barrier as Phoenix had managed fine.

I was distracted from the two of them, however, when Phoenix thought it was a great idea to dump a bunch of leaves down the back of my shirt. Squealing, I turned around, ready to retaliate.