- NOW -
The next few weeks flew by. When I wasn’t at work, I was building furniture or painting. Dad wasn’t around much. He was working all the time lately, determined to get me to college next year. He refused to listen to my countless reassurances that I didn’t mind waiting if it meant he wasn’t working himself into the ground.
On the other hand, Axel had been around a lot more than usual. He hadn’t been himself the last few times I’d seen him. I was sure something was going on with his mom, but didn’t want to pry. They’d never had the best relationship, which was why I found the weekly two-hour round-trips he was making concerning. He came down every weekend now, when previously he'd come down maybe one or two weekends in the month.
I was determined that he have a good time tonight. It was his birthday, and he was home for the weekend. We had plans to go out and hit some clubs.
So after taking a shower, I got myself ready. I had to rifle through my closet to find the perfect little number. A black, low-cut dress that stopped several inches above my knee, and left my back completely bare. Paired with a pair of black stilettos, my legs looked miles long.
I did my make-up in record time, deciding on a red lip for the occasion, and left my hair in its natural waves.
By the time I was done, it was almost time for Axel’s arrival. I grabbed his gift bag and made my way downstairs. My handbag was on the couch, and I rifled through it to find my fake ID and some cash which I stuffed into my bra.
Hearing the doorbell ring, I opened the front door with a big smile on my face. He had impeccable timing.
‘Hey, birthday boy,’ I signed, and leaned forward to give him a big hug. I imagined him rolling his eyes. I always made a bigger deal out of his birthday than he did. Still, his smile was huge when I pulled back. ‘How does it feel to be twenty? You’re no longer a teenager.’
‘I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday,’ he signed, still smiling. I huffed, and grabbed his hand, pulling him indoors. I gave him the gift bag, and watched as he shuffled his feet. He hated getting gifts, but I really couldn’t help myself. ‘I told you not to–’
‘And I didn’t listen,’ I signed, pushing the gift bag into his chest when he still didn’t reach for it. ‘Don’t be a party pooper. Just open it and thank me. It really isn’t much.’
He opened the bag and pulled out the first gift, his eyes lighting up as he looked at the framed photograph. It was from Christmas last year and was one of my favorite pictures of us. We were both wearing matching Christmas jumpers and grinning stupidly at the camera.
“This is going on my bedside table,” he said roughly, unable to sign with his hands full.
“Your bedside table, huh?” I shook my head, as he waggled his eyebrows. He pulled out his favorite cologne next, and a watch I’d gotten him after he’d mentioned that his old one had stopped working.
Placing everything back into the back, he put his fingertips on his chin before placing his hand flat out so that it was pointed towards me like he was blowing me a kiss – the sign for thank you.
‘You’re welcome,’ I signed. Hearing a car pull up the driveway, I glanced out the window and saw that the cab was here. ‘Cab’s here. Come on.’
* * *
Once inside the club, we headed straight to the bar and placed an order for a few shots. Purple Moon was our club of choice – they’d always let us in without a fuss, despite our fake IDs not being all that great.
I elbowed Axel aside when he tried to pay for our drinks. Taking some cash out of my bra, I handed it over to the bartender.
‘It's your birthday. You’re not paying,’ I signed. Besides, I knew Axel didn’t have a lot of spare cash right now. His scholarship barely covered his tuition. He worked three shifts a week as a warehouse operative, sorting through parcels. All his money went on rent, food, and bills.
‘I’m getting the next round,’ he signed stubbornly.
I rolled my eyes. ‘We’ll see. Now, drink up.’
We downed the shots, and headed for the dance floor. The club was full, but not too packed. Axel hadn’t been sure if he’d like clubbing the first time we’d come here, but he’d ended up loving it. He enjoyed the atmosphere and the feel of the beat through the dance floor.
‘How does it feel, dancing without hearing the music?’ I signed, stepping back a little so he could see my hands better. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to experience the world like Axel did.
He put his hand on my back to pull me close again, and spoke against my ear. "I don't mind if it means I get to rub up against beautiful girls."
I laughed, elbowing him away from me. He could be such a guy sometimes – although I often felt like he was only that way around me. For the longest time, it'd only been his mom and me who could sign in his life. We’d been the only ones he could communicate comfortably with.
‘See anyone you fancy? I could find a girl for you.’ He’d been my best friend for years. I could be his wingman for one night. It was his birthday, after all. Didn’t guys want to get laid on their birthdays?
I’d never actually known him to sleep around. He'd never dated anyone in high school – not that anyone could blame him. It had made me cringe how some girls had treated him. Sometimes cruelly, but mostly just awkwardly, like they weren't quite sure how to talk to him. He’d been pretty introverted and hadn’t had many friends before he met me.
Being at college, with other deaf people, had been great for him. He didn’t shy away from social situations as much anymore, and he was a lot more confident. I think there was even a girl, but he’d clammed up when I’d asked him about it.
He shook his head. ‘I’m good here.’
We danced for a few more songs before we headed back to the bar for more drinks. The crowd on the dancefloor had gotten busier, so we decided to take our drinks to a table and rest for a bit.
He slipped into a chair across from me and sipped at his drink, his cheeks flushed from a combination of the dancing and the drinks. He put his drink down, and signed, ‘Thank you.’
I paused, tilting my head at him. ‘For what?’
‘I don't know.’ He shrugged, looking down at his drink. ‘For my birthday. For being my friend.’
His clear blue eyes looked up and met mine, his cheeks flushing with even more color.
I felt my lips twitch, as I stared at him. It seemed he was going to be a sappy drunk tonight. I stood up, and slipped into the seat next to him. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I gave him a squeeze.
He rested his head on top of mine, and I felt a sigh go through him. He was the greatest friend ever, and I was incredibly lucky to have him. It should have been me thanking him – not the other way around. I didn't want him feeling grateful that I was his friend –as if it was some big burden, and not an absolute pleasure to have him in my life.
I moved my head back slightly. ‘Thanks for being my friend too,’ I signed, also well on my way to being a sappy drunk. We were sat so close, it was difficult to sign. I spoke the next words out aloud, moving my lips clearly. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”
And I really didn’t. In the five years I'd known him, he'd become such a massive part of my life.
He stared at my lips as I spoke, and it felt odd. I hadn't really spoken to him in ages – not since I'd become proficient in ASL, and certainly not with me sitting so close to him. For a second, I remembered the last time I’d felt odd as he stared at my lips... but that had been a different situation altogether.
Though we’d been drunk then, too, now that I thought about it.
‘Do you want another drink?’ I signed, putting some distance between us.
He blinked. ‘I’ll get them.’
I had to stand up to let him pass. Not a minute after he left, a random man sat down next to me.
Great.
"Hey." He smiled, and I shrunk back from him a little. He was a lot older than me; at least in his early thirties. He wasn't big; in fact, he looked abnormally thin, almost emaciated. His eyes were sunken, and his crooked, yellowing teeth were bared in a smile that was totally unnerving.
"Hi," I said politely, not wanting to piss him off by ignoring him. I looked around for Axel, shifting my weight. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go–"
"Oh, no. Why don't you stay, April?" he said, as I got up. His smile grew wider, a gold tooth on the front row of his teeth glinting under the club lights.
"Do... do I know you?" I asked him, though I was sure I’d never seen him before in my life. He looked like he'd been a heroin addict for the past decade – not someone I usually associated with.
Where the hell was Axel?
"No. I don't think you do know me, darlin'." He didn't say anything else, and his eyes continued to bore into me.
Okaaay. I was out of here.
I turned to leave, relieved to see that Axel had returned, two drinks in hand. He came and stood right next to me, his chest puffing up.
"Let's go dance,” he said loudly. Passing me one of the glasses, he ushered me away with a hand on my back. He shook his head at me when we were back on the dance floor. “Only with your luck would the creepiest guy in here hit on you.”
“He knew my name,” I said, talking out aloud since I had a drink in my hand. I frowned back at the table we’d been sitting at, but the guy had disappeared.
"He did?" Axel looked surprised. I nodded, my eyes moving across the other bodies in the club. Something about that guy had completely unnerved me. Axel followed my movements, looking concerned. “Do you want to leave?”
I shook my head. It was his birthday. I wouldn’t let some guy freak me out. He’d probably heard Axel say my name at some point; he’d been talking a lot tonight, his hands too busy to sign.
We finished our drinks, and moved back to the dance floor.
I was facing Axel when I caught sight of a familiar figure moving across the floor several feet away. I only glimpsed the side of his face for a second before he was lost in the crowd, but I could have sworn that it was... well, Kellan.
‘What?’ Axel asked, looking over his shoulder.
‘I think I just saw Kellan,’ I signed. Wasn’t he working with Dad tonight?
Axel looked back at me strangely, before glancing around the club. He raised an eyebrow at me, as if to say, ‘really?’ I shrugged. It was pretty dark in here, and with the strobe lights, I could have easily mistaken someone else for him. There was a teasing smile on his face as he signed, ‘I think your little crush is messing with your head. Making you see him when he’s not there.’
I scowled at him, signing forcefully, ‘I do not have a crush on Kellan.’ He put his hands in the air in surrender. Over his shoulder, I caught another glimpse of the figure that had caught my eye earlier. It was Kellan. I was sure of it. I tugged on Axel’s sleeve to get him to look at me, and signed, ‘It's definitely him.’
‘Are you...?’ he began, but dropped his hands, looking over my shoulder this time. I turned around and nearly bumped into someone standing right behind me. I looked up, my mouth falling open.
"Dad?" I said. Another figure appeared and stood next to him. Kellan.
Dad’s face was not impressed as he looked at me. I’d told him that we were going to The Pulse, an eighteen-and-over club, for Axel’s birthday. They gave wristbands to anyone with valid ID, but were notorious for checking for fakes. It was far too difficult to get a drink in that place, which was why I’d told Dad we were going there. I’d never dreamed that I’d be seeing him here.
"You told me you were going to The Pulse," Dad said, his eyes moving around the club quickly and appraisingly, seeming to take everything in at once. Kellan was doing very much the same, looking lethal with his arms crossed over his chest.
They were hunting someone.
"We changed our minds," I said, swallowing. It was probably one of the weirdest moments of my life, bumping into my dad in the middle of a club.
"Well, you need to leave. Now," Kellan said, curtly.
Even though a rational part of me knew why they’d want me gone if there was a criminal around, the command still irked me to the core. I was buzzed from the drinks, and not feeling very rational. I glared at him. Who the hell did he think he was?
He looked back at me, unfazed by my anger. He was in his element; his grey eyes glinting darkly, a muscle in his jaw flexing. He looked ready to take on the world. He looked… deadly.
“We're not leaving. It's Axel's birthday!” I signed as I spoke, knowing Axel was probably struggling to keep up with the conversation.
"You guys are leaving," Dad interjected firmly when Kellan looked like he was about to toss me over his shoulder. And that was that. There was no point in arguing with Dad.
They escorted us out of the club, hailing a cab outside. My buzz had faded considerably, and I was beyond annoyed with the two of them.
Kellan leaned against a wall outside of the club, lighting up a cigarette as Dad held the cab door open for me. I glanced over my shoulder, ready to make a snarky remark about the effects of second-hand smoke, but the words died on my lips when I noticed that Kellan's eyes were glued to my ass.
I wasn't imagining it.
They lingered on my butt before sliding decadently down my legs as he blew out a ring of smoke. He glanced up – almost as though he felt my gaze.
Our eyes caught, and held. I tried, but I couldn’t get a read on them. Kellan Reed had always been an enigma. A complete mystery.
I slid into the cab after Axel, feeling breathless. I barely heard Dad as he said something about seeing me at home.
It happened sometimes over the years. He'd say something, or I'd catch his eye, and I'd feel... this small flutter in my stomach. It rarely happened, thank God, and it was easy enough to squash down the small, traitorous pangs.
It wasn't as though I was still harboring a crush on him – most days he drove me insane.
It was his looks, I decided. He was just too good-looking for his own damn good. That's all it was. Physical attraction. I’d have to have be blind not to notice.
"Well, I guess our night is over," Axel said with a sigh.
I glanced at him in the darkness of the cab, and switched the light on in the back. ‘No way. It's your birthday. We're going to another club. This time, we'll really go to The Pulse, and try our luck. See if we can get wristbands. We'll get ridiculously drunk, and have a great time.’
And we did.