Nix
Whoa, what is she doing?
“Sage,” I mumble.
She pulls away. Her big green eyes are always so expressive. Such a dead giveaway for how she feels, but right now, there’s so much going through them that I can’t read her.
“What’s going through your mind right now, brave girl?”
“I just…. Well…” She bites her lower lip.
“Sage, did he hurt you? Be honest with me.”
A sort of puzzled expression crosses her exhausted face. Looking at her for real now, I see how tired she looks.
“This is going differently than I thought. I just… you’re… I wanted…”
She stammers on like that for a bit. I place my finger over her lips.
“I’m okay.”
She quickly glances down at my dick, which sends a rush of blood there.
“No, you’re—”
“I’m okay, angel. I promise. I swear.”
“I just want to help.”
She looks down with shame written all over her face. Six years, six years and still, since the introduction of sex into our relationship, I think she can’t quite compute that she doesn’t owe me sex. Ever. Not once. No matter what the circumstance is.
“Sage, look at me.”
She shakes her head. I feel a tear fall from her cheek to my thigh. She’s embarrassed and confused. Probably tired, hurting, and traumatized as well. Dulled rage hammers at my emotions, but I swallow them and force myself to be here with her where she needs me.
“Please, I need your eyes.”
She shakes her head quickly and sprints out of the car. I take a moment to get my head straight. To clear the anger I feel. As soon as I nailed down Sage’s location, no thanks to Aaron, I came for her. But I’m not okay. I’m far from fucking okay. I know Aaron’s gonna have Rod and his other goons use whatever they did to Sage against me. Not to mention, I have reason to believe Aaron’s gonna do something to Rose if I don’t get myself in line. But Sage… Right now, I have to deal with what my dad’s men just put her through. I have to get her to talk. The woman is a vault. She still has not discussed her time in the trafficking ring with anyone. She still barely sleeps. It’s amazing how five years can fly by so fast and change so little.
One foot at a time, I climb out of the car.
Sage is by the back door, bouncing on her toes, not looking at me. I give her a moment while I unlock the front door. The literal second I open the door, she flies in. She scampers around for a second before running to the bedroom door, then to the kitchen, then to the couch. She looks like an animal in a cage with no way out. Her lower lip wobbles as she scurries around.
“Sage.” I catch her wrist. Her hand trembles violently beneath my fingers. “Come here, sweetheart.”
“Nix, let me go. I… I wanna go to my dad’s. I…”
“Sage,” I murmur. “What are you doing?”
She squeezes her eyes shut and shuffles closer to me. When she’s close enough to grab, I carefully pick her up and bring her to the bedroom. I immediately place her on the bed and tuck her in. When she’s all tucked in, I crawl in and pull her into my side.
“It’s okay,” she stammers. “It’s still light out…”
“Shh, no talking. Sleep.”
“Sleep?”
“Yes, just listen to my voice and sleep.”
Her eyes flutter. “Never, under any circumstance, do you owe me anything for saving you,” I tell her, choosing my words carefully. Her eyes go to the covers.
“Sage, do you think you owe me for saving you?”
Her big eyes pulse with unshed tears as she slides further under the covers. With a sigh, I drop the topic and tuck her into me, safe.
“You never, ever owe me for anything, angel. Go to sleep.”
“I—”
“Shhh, sleep.”
“I’m not tired.”
I gently trace her nose.
“Sleep.”
“My dad?” she murmurs.
“I’ll call him. After you sleep.”
“What if Rod comes back?” she whispers tiredly.
My whole body tightens. “He won’t be bothering you anymore.”
“Whatever Rod did to me doesn’t matter, don’t let them use it against you. Nix, I…”
She’s out. I watch her whole body collapse into that coma she’s so well-known for. I doubt she slept much, if at all, while she was with Rod.
I gently rub her head. Such a tiny little person to own my entire, rugged heart.
“Sleep, princess.”
I kiss her head and slowly crawl out of bed. She won’t notice. As soon as I’m out of there, I quietly slip out the front door, to the porch, and click Charles’s number.
“Nix,” he barks.
“I have her.”
A sigh bursts out of him. “Was it Ronald?”
Tension laces his voice. I know he feels immense guilt that he hired a man employed by my father. I don’t blame the guy. No one knows how sneaky my father is better than me.
“I haven’t spoken with Sage yet. She’s a little… she needs sleep.”
He sighs. “It was. I know it was.”
“Well, let me handle all that. Sage needs us.”
“Nix,” his voice is stern. “I may not fully approve of the whole situation between you two, but she loves you. And you saved her life. Don’t get yourself killed, kid.”
“I won’t.”
“Tame your ego for all of ten seconds and listen to me.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“I know what I’m doing.”
“So does Aaron,” Charles snaps. “I swear to fuck, Nix, I will spit on your grave if you die and leave Sage alone. She’ll lose herself forever.”
“I can’t risk him hurting her again. It’ll only be worse next time. She’s gonna be a prisoner in my home now. Five years, Charles. She needs to get out in the world.”
“She has that blog, right?”
“Yes, and it’s successful. But Sage needs to hike and see the mountains, get coffee on the boardwalk somewhere. She needs to go to the local park and see the stars. I don’t know… do shit. She needs to do shit. She needs to see the beauty in everything again. She hasn’t improved in five years and I can’t stand it anymore. I have to do something.”
Charles sighs. “Fuck, it’s sickening how much you two love each other. Can’t she love someone… easier?”
“I wish she did, Charles. Truly.”
“Even then…” he sighs, “you’re good to my daughter, Nix. If I truly had a complaint about you personally, you’d know.”
“I appreciate that.”
More than he could ever know.
“When can I see my daughter?”
“Let me just…” I hiss out a breath and… lose it. “Fuck, Charles. She was doing so well. Goddamnit! Fuck! Fuck!”
“Son, listen to me.”
“I should have—”
“Nixon!” Charles cuts me off with a shout. “Listen to me. We’ll figure it out. Whatever you need. I’m here. Aaron and his men aren’t invincible. Once he’s out of the way, you and Sage will have a future together. You’re not alone anymore, Nix.”
“I don’t want you to get involved with anything that involves—”
“Ahhhhh! Help! Help! Please!”
“I have to go right now.”
I slam the phone on Charles’s rushed voice, full of concern, and sprint into the house. I grab the gun I stashed on my person and charge into the room where Sage is sleeping.
“Sage.”
What I’m met with has my heart sinking.
Sage is curled up on the bed in a tiny ball, sweating harder than makes sense for the little time I was gone. Her cheeks are tinged pink and her hair is matted to her face. She’s rocking around wildly and screaming, begging to be saved. Over and over. Never giving up. I try to be strong, but I can’t stop how helpless I feel. I can’t keep myself from crying.
“Sage,” I choke. “Sage, please come back.”
I put one knee on the bed, testing the waters. Her body goes completely rigid with terror and her screaming stops. But it’s in every inch of her marrow how scared she is.
“Sage, please.”
I back off the bed.
“Sage, it’s Nix. Come back to me. You’re safe. I promise.”
I wipe the tears dropping from my eyes.
“Get away from me!” she shrieks, letting a hand fly out wildly. “No. No. Not Nix… No.”
“It’s me, brave girl.”
Nothing. More begging. I have to do something.
I quietly walk to the side of the bed. I debate heavily what I’m about to do, plead with Sage some more, before just doing it.
I grab Sage by the shoulders and pull her slippery body into me. The second I touch her, all motion, all sound freezes. She completely stops talking. Stops moving. I have to put my hand in front of her mouth to see if she’s still breathing.
I cradle her against me and scoot forward to lean against the headboard.
“You’re safe. You’re safe, Sage.”
I feel when she starts to wake. Her body remains tight, but her muscles loosen.
“Hey,” I whisper, rubbing her sweaty hair back. My heart throbs when the strands end way too soon. She loved her hair. I loved it, too. For Rod to cut it… I mean, Jesus, hasn’t this woman given enough to men without them having to steal one of the few things that makes her feel confident in herself? Shit, I forgot to tell her father about her hair. Fuck. He’s very shallow. He needs to know so he can school the right reaction. He, more than anyone else, has the power to absolutely shatter whatever confidence she has left.
“Nix?”
“Hey, brave girl. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
Sage lets out a long sigh and drops her head onto me, exhausted. At least she’s stopped apologizing to me for her bad dreams.
“You don’t have to hold me. I’m covered in sweat.”
“Don’t care.”
My voice is strained. I know it is.
“How was your sister?” Sage shifts so she’s sitting crisscross on the floor in front of me. Maybe it’s ‘cause I love her so much, but her hair is so cute. It’s all over the place and definitely needs the work of a hairdresser to even it out, but she’s so damn cute. It makes her big eyes pop. It makes her look so tiny. I just wanna kiss her and show her how beautiful I fucking think she is, but I can’t with her mind like this. I have to help her. I have to fix the damage my father caused. I have to get her to think she’s beautiful again first.
But first… I shake my head, trying to grasp the drastic topic change. I blink at her. “Wait… what?”
Her nightmare. That’s the priority. Why are we talking about my sister?
She smiles a little and cups my cheek for a moment. “Your sister, Rose. I heard Rod talking. They wanted you to keep her safe from something. Is she okay? What was it like meeting her? Are you happy? Did it uplift your soul to meet a family member who isn’t evil?”
“Slow down. You’re my focus right now. Let’s get you cleaned up and let’s…” I squeeze my fingers into my eyes, literally shoving the tears back. “Sage, I’m so fucking worried about you. You didn’t need this.”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Really.”
Her tiny hands, cold and clammy, frantically skid up my forearms.
“Nix, I promise. I’ll be okay.”
“Sage”— I practically leap on her —“please say you’ll get help. Please. For me, if you have to. I’m so fucking scared I’m gonna lose you. You need help. When I pulled you from that treatment center all those years ago, I didn’t think you’d deny all help. Sage, I need you to do this now. After the shit with Rod… fuck, please. Please.”
“What?” She pushes to her feet and throws her hands on her hips. “You wish you hadn’t gotten me out now!”
“No, I wish I never promised you I would. I would never break a promise I already made you.”
She glares hard at me.
“I’m scared, Sage!”
She opens her mouth with her eyes blazing fire, but closes it, goes to the bathroom, and slams the door.
“Fuck!”
I grab the lamp off the counter and throw it against the wall. I don’t give a fuck if it shatters. Fucking hell.
I go to my car, grab Pam and the Kindle, stick it outside the bathroom door, pen a note saying I’m going out, and drive off.
I have shit to do.
I have to do… something.
Because I don’t know how to help the one person I care about.