Sage
“Dad, can you hear me? I’m sorry,” I choke. “This is all my fault. I’m sorry.”
My mom’s heels click, click, click in the background.
“Why didn’t you call the police, Sage?”
“I—”
“Huh?! Why did you call him?!” She throws an arm over my dad. “Like he’s prepared for this fucked up mess you’ve gotten yourself into!”
I shrink back away from my father, feeling my heart shatter.
“Answer me!”
“I… I was just… I…”
“Dumb!” she shrieks. “You were stupid and now my husband is going to die! Because of you.”
I slide to the floor and wrap my arms around my knees, putting myself farther away from the man I don’t deserve to be around. I feel the tears on my face, but not the pain behind them. Sage is finally going away. Nix flashes into my mind, but I can’t fight the black hole I’m being pulled into.
“That’s enough,” a voice booms from the doorway. Both of us roll our heads that way to see three men standing there. I know Cut. The other two make me cower. Two pairs of dark eyes land on me. Cut’s eyes go to my mom. He walks over, and as he does, she flies backward.
“Stay away from me! I’ll call security.”
Cut’s not fazed by her outright judgement of his appearance. I admit his scars are jarring, but she’s being completely rude.
“You can walk out the doors on your own, but you’ll go. Sage needs to talk to these men. Unless you want them to talk to you first,” he counters.
She flinches hard, scowls at me, and walks out of the room with Cut behind her.
Then I’m left alone with two strange men.
Nix trusts them to keep me safe. He told me so.
“I’m Adam,” the deep voice that told my mom to stop yelling says gently. Well, as gently as I think he’s capable of.
“I’m Sven,” comes the other voice.
This man has even darker eyes, darker hair, and overall a dark, more intimidating vibe. I feel so tiny and vulnerable curled up here on the floor compared to them.
“You’re Rose’s husband?” I whisper.
“Yes,” the more intimidating man says with a tiny smile. “She says hi. Speaking for Adam here, but I’m sure Lacey does as well.”
“Tell them I said hi back.”
They both smile a little as I duck my head.
“Wanna get off the floor?” Adam asks gently.
No, I don’t. I shake my head a little to tell him so.
It’s quiet in the room for a long time before Adam speaks again. He gets down to his haunches in front of me. Sven, on the other hand, gives me one last look before looking to Adam for instruction. Adam cocks his head to the side. With that, Sven goes to stand guard by the door, from the inside. I suppose Cut is watching from the outside. These men seem to have some kind of unspoken setup. I’m not stupid.
Adam’s eyes catch mine.
“She’s wrong, you know?”
When my eyebrows crease, he continues.
“Your mother,” he clarifies.
My eyes immediately fill with water.
“None of this is your fault, Sage.”
“It is,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have…”
“Shouldn’t have what? Talk this through with me. What other options did you have?”
His eyes are so intense. So, so intense. His suit is crisp and immaculate. He’s taking all my air. How can one man seem so powerful in such a tiny atmosphere?
I feel my lower lip tremble.
“None. You didn’t have any other choice. Your mom is just angry, and being a bitch.”
My eyes widen. He smiles.
“She is a bitch, Sage. Now get up off the floor.”
The command is so strong it’s impossible to disobey. I push off my feet to shaking limbs.
“Good. And now we wait.”
“Wait?”
“Yep. We wait. Despite what it may look like, we really are just here to make sure you’re okay while you stay with your dad.”
He looks me over once.
“It is good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Sven smirks in the background.
“Lacey asks about you a lot.”
“Wh-why?”
“I think when you meet my wife, you’ll find you have a lot in common.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He nods, but he does it in a way where it’s like he’s telling me to go on with my day. I hesitantly move back to my dad’s side, watching both of them the entire time.
“You want your mom back in here?” Adam asks.
“It’s her husband,” I whisper.
“I won’t let her verbally abuse you,” Sven cuts in. “It’s fucked. I mean, man, you’re still covered in blood.”
Adam nods in agreement. I’m so confused by these two men. They’re in the mafia, but they don’t really act like I would expect them to. They look the part, but they sure don’t act the part. They’re being nice to me, if not a little dominating.
“I d—”
“Don’t say you deserve it,” Adam snaps. I jump back at his tone. “We’ve been over this. You want her here? Yes or no. It’s simple.”
It’s really not simple.
“Yes, please,” I murmur.
“Alright, then.”
Adam walks out. I should have added that I don’t want them to threaten my mom either. Too late now.
Sven looks at me since it’s just us now, with the exception of the beeping machines of my dying father.
My eyes water again. The pain feels like a needle being jammed into my heart over and over. It’s the same pain I felt when Pam died.
“So you’re my future sister-in-law, huh?”
Sven looks over at me. He probably feels the need to speak because I haven’t taken my eyes off him, despite being by my dad’s side. He makes me uncomfortable. Maybe he’s a gotta-get-to-know-him type guy.
“Well, if… I… hope,” I squeak.
He chuckles and leans casually against the doorway, like he’s not guarding me from the wrath of a known serial killer. Like he’s not in the room with a dying man and a majorly fucked up girl.
“There’s not one chance in hell you won’t be.”
“Oh.” My cheeks heat. “Marriage just sounds so normal for us at this point, I guess.”
His face falls a little. “I suppose it would. Alright, I’ll shut up. Oh, real quick…” He digs in his jacket pocket and throws something at me. I jolt and catch it. “Nix had us swing by and grab this for you.”
I’d know this soft feel anywhere.
Pamela.
The tears finally spill over. I curl myself up in the chair. Of course, Nix had them get Pam. He never doesn’t consider my feelings. Not ever.
I hear my mom’s heels click into the room, but I won’t let her faze me this time.
* * *
Nix
I finish signing my AMA papers. Ray is burning holes in my head, she’s staring at me so furiously.
“You’re an idiot!” she hisses. “You lost too much blood. You need to be here!”
“Make sure Sage showers,” I tell her, squeezing her shoulder.
“You’re an idiot,” she repeats in a grumble.
I smirk at her. “You know this.”
“Nix, be safe, okay?” Ray bites her lower lip, uncharacteristically serious.
“You know me. Nine lives.”
“Just come back if you need to, okay? Text me. I’ll make sure I’m here.”
I catch her wrist and squeeze. “Thanks, Ray.”
She nods and storms off to her other patients. I shake my head and hop in the car with the driver Adam set up for me. The driver knows where he’s taking me. No need to tell him.
The drive is short. Too short. The grey prison walls come into view way sooner than expected.
My heart thunders in my chest.
This is it.
This is goodbye.
I don’t know why part of me is sad. Why part of me wants to back out. But this side of me is just as useless as the side of me that wants Aaron to love me. That wanted Martina to.
He won’t. He’s not capable. If the roles were reversed and Aaron was planning my death, he wouldn’t feel one ounce of guilt, remorse, or pain. He’d only regret that he was losing his heir.
So with that, I get out of the car and push the prison doors open. The guard is waiting for me as expected. Adam set this all up for me so I could see Aaron, no questions asked. The man has contacts all over the place. I knew I’d need to wield them one day. I knew when developing this whole plan that I’d never be able to kill Aaron myself. Not without becoming him in the process or losing myself to guilt. Before Sage, I would have given in to my desire to kill Aaron myself. I would have taken his place in prison just to kill him myself. It wouldn’t have mattered to me. I mean, I had no life. I hated myself. It didn’t matter.
But that’s not the case now.
I had to develop a plan that allowed me to come back to Sage free and intact.
So this is it.
I push the doors open with a deep breath. Aaron’s sitting there, no pretense of pleasure on his face like usual. His eyes are dark and pissed.
Neither of us say anything as I circle the room. I let my stomach settle before taking a seat across from him.
I place my hands on the table and stare at him.
“This is goodbye, Aaron.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, son?”
“This is the last time I’ll be seeing you.”
“Bullshit! You know the consequences of that, Nixon! It seems this plaything of yours has gotten into your head. I’ve let that go on long enough.”
I smirk. “You think you’re gonna attack her at the hospital? Going after her father, really? You think I’m dumb.”
“I thought you were incapacitated.”
Ah, he underestimated me. I smirk. His eyes darken.
“You heard about Rod, eh? Tragic.”
“You’ll pay for this, Nix.”
“You won’t be here long enough to lay a finger on Sage.”
“Who says it’s not happening now?”
“The men watching her. You ain’t getting past these guys. I, of all people, know your capabilities, but I also know you are not the most powerful person out there. These men are.”
“What do you think will come of this? You kill me, my men will come after you and kill everyone you love, Nixon. You want that?”
I lean back and let my smile spread, even as my side burns with unbearable pain.
“Who said anything about me even lifting a finger? I think word is getting around that Renner set up the whole thing.”
“You son of a…!”
“Ah, ah,” I tisk.
“You couldn’t kill me! You don’t have it in you.”
Thank God there’s no cameras in here. We’d both be fucked. Thanks, Adam…
“I told you. I never said anything about killing you.”
His eyes flare. I stand. I’m gonna break soon and I refuse to let him see it.
“This is it.”
I lean over the desk.
“You. Lose. You didn’t fucking break me. You can thank a small green-eyed girl for your destruction. She’s the reason you’re dying and she’s the reason you never fully owned me. Bye, Father. I hope hell is everything you hoped for. Trying to murder your own daughter, keeping my sister from me, well, I’m sure the devil will welcome you with open arms.”
He’s roaring, but I ignore him and walk out. As soon as the guard comes for him, I leave. It’s not until I get to the car that I squeeze my thumbs into my eye sockets and slump in the seat, letting my world go slightly blurry.
“The hospital,” I tell the driver.
“Yes, sir,” responds Adam’s driver automatically.
I take deep breaths. When I get back to the hospital, I collect myself enough to meet Cut by the doors.
“Thank you so much,” I whisper sincerely. “I could never thank you enough for helping Sage.”
“And saving your life.”
I’m surprised when he smiles a little. He’s not known for shows of emotion, so I’m guessing the more freely given smiles have something to do with the ring on his finger.
“Yeah, that, too.”
He nods. “Sven will fill you in. You okay if I go check in with Maria? She’s probably freaking out.”
“No, we’re good.”
Without another word, he raps on the door and walks away. Sven walks out. He extends a hand. I take it.
“Handle what you needed to?”
“Yep.” It still feels surreal that I’ll never have to deal with Aaron again.
“You weren’t wrong about Aaron trying something, but it was honestly easy enough to catch. For us at least. Sage, given the state she is in, was oblivious. A nurse came in, looked legit, and offered her anxiety meds. Adam immediately questioned her and took the meds from her. Her uniform was slightly off. We think they were poison of some kind. Subtle, I’ll give him that. But yeah, no big deal. She’s fine. Physically at least.”
“Thank you so much, man.”
He smirks. “I owed you one, but come see Rose more, will you? If I have to hear one more tirade about how she never gets to see you and what a dick you are, I’m gonna shoot myself.”
“I’ll make more of an effort. I promise. Things will be easier now that I don’t have to worry about Aaron. It’ll take me a minute. Helping Sage is my priority at the moment, but as soon as I can, I wanna be more involved in Rose’s life.”
“Good to hear. I left Adam with her most of the time. He’s married to Lacey, so he knows a fuck of a lot more than I do about… well, Sage’s particular issues.”
“Good choice. You’re a dick.”
He snickers. “You ever gonna propose to her?”
I visibly fly back, which makes him laugh.
“Relax, just a question.”
“Not ready,” I respond immediately, wide eyed.
“Are you waiting ‘til you’re dead? What’s the hold up?”
“Cut me some slack. I’ve dealt with enough today.”
“Do you need me anymore? I’m about done for today.”
“Wow, did standing by the door take it out of you?”
“I got a wife to get back to.” He winks.
“Egh, gross. I can’t unhear that.”
“You look pale, Nix. Get your girl and get a blood transfusion or something. You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” I utter flatly.
I roll my eyes and push past him to enter the room. Sage is over her dad, asleep, still covered in dried blood. Her mom is pouting in the corner. Adam is leaning against the wall with a concerned expression on his face. When he sees me, he walks over and extends his hand. He looks me over once.
“You need medical attention.”
Oh really, what’s giving it away? The blood draining from my face? The blood seeping out of my side? Being unsteady on my feet?
“Need to see Sage first. I’ll get attention.”
“She’s gonna freak when she sees you.”
“I’ll calm her.”
“Is that girl in therapy?”
He gestures to Sage.
“Sore subject.”
He nods, losing some of his hardness. “You really should introduce her to Lacey. They could really help each other.”
“I know. I agree, actually. Sage will need some time though. Her world’s been dominated by staying safe from Aaron. Not to mention whatever happens with her dad, but yes, I plan to introduce them. But Adam, Sage can’t handle the drama of your world. That has to stay separate if I’m gonna introduce a friendship between Lacey, Rose, and Sage. I mean that.”
He looks back at Sage, out cold on the bed, lying over her father. We’re both ignoring the sound of her mother’s grumbling.
“I know. I’ll be sure all the drama is kept away from Sage. I brought Seven on. With Lacey pregnant, I’m being sure to do the same with her. I should have made that a goal of mine a long time ago, to keep drama away from her. She needs normal now.”
Yeah, fuckin’ finally. He’s put that girl through hell. He seems like a good guy, and deep down he is, but fuck he can be an idiot.
“Seven?”
“New capo.”
“You find a new underboss yet?”
To sum it up, I got him out of prison a couple months ago, because it turned out his underboss was in the FBI. Yeah, I mean, props to Enzio, real name Derek, for pulling that off.
“No,” he grumbles. “But I’m good with Frances and Seven behind me. I have hopes for Seven.”
I nod.
“Good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks. Especially with all the shit going on.”
My eyes bulge. “More shit? Jesus Christ, man.”
He grunts.
“It’s not all my shit this time. Some of it is Frances.”
“Oh God, that can’t be good.”
Frances, his other capo, is a psycho. I mean, a literal fucking psycho.
“This time it’s him doing a good deed. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”
My eyebrows raise. Adam holds a hand up and shakes his head.
“It’s a problem only Frances could get himself involved in, but now he’s involved us.”
“I don’t envy you.”
He snickers. The sound of rumbling has both of us spinning on our heels. When we see Sage rustling, Adam squeezes my shoulder in a show of support and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
I glance over at her mother, who is glaring at me with so much hatred that I can’t bear to look at her.
“Nix?”
Sage pushes up. Her eyes are so swollen, they barely open. God, I just wanna wrap her up and save her from this pain. I look over at Charles. The man who is the closest thing to a father figure I’ve ever had. I can’t face him. I can’t face knowing it’s my fault he’s this way. Someone so strong, who has so much going for him…
“Come here, babe.”
Sage slowly teeters over with a white blanket wrapped around her waist. I tuck her into my body. She’s limp like a noodle.
“You both are responsible for this!” her mom suddenly shrieks, gesturing to Charles. I jolt and push Sage behind me.
“Don’t. This is a conversation you can have with me in private later.”
“If Sage would have just listened to us…”
Everything goes red. I rush Sage and I out of the room with bared teeth so I don’t actually smack some sense into her mother. Sage is barely conscious. I gently scoop her up in my arms, feeling her head lightly curl into my chest.
I gently kiss her forehead and search the halls for Ray.
“Excuse me,” I ask a nurse passing us. She eyes both of us with concern, but I know Adam has handled everything. No police will contact us about all this. It won’t get back to me when a few of Adam’s allies murder Aaron tonight in prison. There’s no risk to me this time. I set it all up perfectly, even if it took me forever to do it. Gerald will do his part in making sure Aaron’s death doesn’t come back to me. We’re safe. Finally.
“Do you know where Ray is?”
“She’s—”
“Here!” Ray’s overpowering voice echoes from down the hall. She comes storming over, short and powerful.
“That was fast,” she grumbles at me. “You had me all worried.”
Really, I did?
“What do you need?”
I lift Sage slightly. “A shower.”
“Of course.”
She looks at Sage curled up in my arms, sympathetically.
“She’s probably exhausted from sheer emotional trauma.”
“I know.” I try to keep the pain from my voice, but fail.
Ray looks me over once. “You need medical attention.”
Oh my… “I know! I know, okay? Let me help her and I’ll get myself taken care of, Jesus.”
“Relax. Fuck me for not wanting you to die.”
She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks away. I smile a little. Aw, she cares. She’s pissed ‘cause she’s worried.
“I’ll be okay, Ray,” I whisper. “I feel fairly steady on my feet.”
“Fairly!”
“The faster you show me the shower, the faster I can move forward.”
She doesn’t waste a second moving gracefully down the hall. It’s a ways away, but she eventually leads us to a large bathroom, equipped with a shower and everything.
“I’ll get some clothes for her and leave them outside the door. I have some extras in my locker. My clothes will probably drown her, but they’ll work.”
“Thank you, Ray. Seriously, for everything.”
She searches me and nods. She gets what I’m saying. She’s done seeing me every other month. Done seeing me dirty and bloody and covering the heat for me. This is it.
“You’re welcome, Nix.”
… and she’s off. Going off to save another life. She’s pretty great.
I gently place Sage on her feet, holding her by her hip to be sure she doesn’t fall over. I quietly shut the door.
“You with me?”
She nods. Her dark circles are deep. This is the first time I’ve ever looked at her and not been able to see her beauty. It’s not an insult. She’s so swollen, so tired, it’s tragic looking.
I go to her, cup her cheek first, and then let my hands find the end of her shirt. I gently lift it over her head. She lets out a small sound when it’s off. I quickly search her for signs of panic, but nod when I see the goosebumps scattered all over her skin.
“I’ll make the shower warm,” I whisper.
She nods faintly. I turn the knobs so steam fills the room slightly. I throw my shirt off and go back to Sage. My fingers curl around the edge of her pants and pull them down her legs. She’s in nothing but a cotton bra and panties.
I yank my pants off, so I’m in nothing but my boxers. By the time my pants are down my legs, Sage has already removed the rest of her clothes. I nod at her and yank my boxers down. As soon as we’re both naked, she comes over next to me, silently looking for me to lead this. Fuck, I shouldn’t be showering with my injury.
I can work around this.
I wrap an arm around her and lead her into the warm water. I position it so she’s under the small spout of water and I’m freezing outside of it. The first thing I do is take her arm that’s elbow deep in my blood and rinse it off under the warm spray. She stares at it, skin going even more pale by the second. She looks nauseous. Her eyes spin around and land on my injury.
I immediately grab her chin.
“I’m okay. It’s over. It’s all over. I’ll get medical attention after this.”
“Over?”
“Shh, not the time.”
“I almost lost you.”
Her lower lip wobbles.
“You almost left me alone. You promised. You-you promised.”
“Shh, you’re in shock, Sage. Let’s get you clean. Then I’ll get you back to Charles.”
She nods wordlessly. Her body goes limp. From there, I scrub her top to bottom. Tears spill over her watery eyes, but now is not the time to discuss them. There’s honestly nothing I can say.
Because I feel very similar.
When I’m done cleaning her off, I quickly change into my clothes, leaving her under the warm spray. I grab the new clothes Ray brought for Sage. It’s a simple pair of black sweats and a white t-shirt. I set it on the chair and grab a towel, reaching in the shower to turn the knob. Sage immediately turns to me, eyes widened slightly from the cold.
“Come here, princess,” I murmur, holding the towel out. She runs into it and does a cute little dance. I kiss the side of her head as she leans back into me.
“What happens now?”
Some of her tears fall onto my forearm. I hold her tighter against me.
“One step at a time. Right now, we’ll be here for Charles.”
“You’ll get seen first, right?”
“Yes, babe.”
“And we’re safe?”
I stiffen slightly. “Yes.”
I know she senses the way I’ve pulled back.
“We’ll talk about it later, right?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “We will.”
“Promise.”
“Swear.”
She turns and I slip the shirt over her head. She looks up at me again, legs still bare.
“Everything changes now.” There’s so much fear in her eyes.
“For the better, princess. For the better, I promise.”