As soon as Chad turns around to leave, I walk briskly toward the door, fumble hastily with my keys, and quickly enter the apartment building.

I collapse into the old couch in the lobby. My legs are shaking. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I can’t show up at home pale and shivering.

When the door opens, I almost jump from the shock. I’m still high-strung from all the adrenaline.

Katie walks into the lobby. The sound of her high heels hitting the tiled floor echoes throughout the lobby. She’s off today, so she’s probably home from a dinner downtown.

She starts for the elevator. When she sees that it’s me on the couch, she takes a second look and stops.

“What are you doing here?” Her friendly smile disappears when she realizes how anxious I am. “Hey, is something wrong?”

I shake my head, but she knows me too well to buy that. Or maybe it’s too obvious I’m in distress.

“What just happened? Is something going on with Jack? Is he okay?” She takes a seat on the couch across from me and looks at me with concern in her eyes.

“No, Jack’s fine,” I reply quickly. When it comes to Jack, I get a little paranoid. Just the mention of something bad happening to Jack terrifies me. I’m afraid of tempting fate with that kind of talk.

“Then what is it?” Katie lightly rubs my arm in support.

Tears prick my eyes. I can’t stop myself from letting it out anymore. I’ve been fighting this alone, on my own, for too long. The pressure has built up, and the dam is breaking now.

“It’s okay, Daisy. I’m here,” Katie says. “It’s all going to be okay.”

“You don’t understand.” My voice is barely intelligible. The world around me has become a blurry mess, thanks to the tears drowning my eyes.

“Tell me. You know you can tell me anything,” she says.

I start to sob. I take the tissue Katie offers me and blow my nose. I must look like shit right now. I bet my face is all red and blotchy. I catch my breath compulsively, audibly, as the muscles in my throat contract from the ugly-crying.

Slowly, I tell Katie everything. From the beginning.

Katie already knows about my mom. She knows why I have to adopt Jack, my half-brother from a different father.

My mom is not a horrible human being, but she has a shitty taste in men, and she shouldn’t have had children. Her boyfriends always drink too much, work too little, or have too many girlfriends on the side.

One thing they have in common, though, is a gambling habit. For as long as I can remember, Mom always spends a few nights out of the week at the casino.

When I was nine, I had my first sleepover at a friend’s house, and I was shocked to see her mom prepare an actual home-cooked meal and stay home to tuck us in.

My mom, on the other hand, would blow her entire pay check on the blackjack table. She often runs out of money to pay the bills. She can’t even borrow money from anyone anymore because she never pays her loans back.

Her life is a train wreck, and I’ve worked hard to escape that situation.

When I moved out, Jack was still living with her. Mom would call me at random times, asking for money to pay the bills, because, as she’d say, “They’ll shut off the water/gas/electricity and Jack can’t deal with that.”

I offered to take Jack into my apartment. I knew Mom would be happy to get him off her hands, so I was hoping it would happen without a glitch.

I forgot how greedy she could be, though. And this is the part I haven’t told anyone—not even Katie. Until now.

“You know how hard my mom fought me when I tried to get Jack to move in?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, she… She kinda blackmailed me into paying her. She said she was going to report Jack as kidnapped if I didn’t pay her.”

“That bitch!” Katie curses.

“At the time, I thought it was a good idea to avoid taking the legal route because everyone told me lawyers were expensive,” I say.

Katie gives me a look. “That was a mistake, right? You know she’s a money-sucking vampire who wouldn't stop until she's snatched the shirt off your back.”

“I know that now. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. I don’t know.”

“A lawyer would’ve been cheaper, I bet.”

“Yeah. That was my next lesson. But then I also couldn’t have legally adopted Jack until I turned twenty-one a few months ago. As soon as that happened, though, I hired a lawyer. That was also about the time I realized my mom was never going to leave us in peace.”

“You paid both your mom and a lawyer? How did I not know this?”

“Well, I’m pretty sneaky.” I smile, even as tears continue streaming down my face. “And you were pretty busy with your own stuff.”

“When was this?”

“When we first started to work at St. Peter’s. My mom kept asking for more and more money, saying she knew nurses made a lot of money.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.”

“You were already helping me enough. You covered my portion of the rent sometimes, remember?”

“Well, yeah. But if I knew you were in that kind of trouble, I would’ve gone out less, maybe take a bagged lunch every day to work. I don’t know. I would’ve done more.”

“You’ve done enough, Katie. And I’ll make it up to you someday.”

“So you had enough to pay everything? I know you save up a lot of your money, but damn. I earn about the same amount as you do and I don’t have any savings, even though I don’t have lawyer expenses, or crazy-mom expenses.”

“I didn’t.”

“You didn’t what?”

“I didn’t have enough money. Lawyers are expensive, Katie. Plus, by the time I got a lawyer, I’d already wasted so much money paying my mom.”

“So you got a loan from the bank, right? Or used your credit card?”

“Yeah. I did both, but that still wasn’t enough money.”

“Daisy, what did you do?” Katie gives me a grave look. She knows I must’ve done something stupid.

“I borrowed some money from Chad Murray,” I say quickly in one breath before I can change my mind about telling Katie.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”

“How much do you owe him?”

“A lot. But I don’t want you to worry. I’m making my payments and I should have it all paid off in no time,” I say. I’m lying again, but what can Katie do to help me anyway? She’s just told me she has no savings.

Katie looks at me incredulously. She frowns and studies me with her brown eyes. She sighs, knowing she can’t make me tell her what I don’t want her to know.

“Tell me if it gets overwhelming, okay? I’ll do anything to help you,” she says as she pulls me into a hug.

“Okay.” I force myself to smile so Katie doesn’t worry.

* * *

I’ve been tossing and turning in my bed for hours now.

I feel better after talking to Katie, but a conversation can’t solve my problems. I still have a huge, debilitating debt, and a violent loan shark still wants to hurt me—and my family.

One thing the conversation did, though, was make it painfully clear what my options really are.

I can stay chained to my debt forever, with the risk of failing to satisfy Chad Murray anyway, or I can take Caine Foster up on his offer.

Between Chad Murray and Caine Foster, I’d pick the latter in a heartbeat.

Sure, he’s hardly a knight in shining armor, but he’s obviously the better option here.

One month, instead of years. Someone I’m actually attracted to, instead of someone who repulses me.

If I have to lose my virginity to either one of those two anyway, I’d rather pick Caine Foster.

Besides, he mentioned something about a negotiation. Maybe if I play my cards right, I can get enough money to put Jack through college. That way, he’ll have a better start in life, without any debt weighing him down.

This is not the time to be sentimental. Virginity isn’t anything real. It’s just a thin membrane in my vagina. It’s just sex. I need to be practical here. Katie and Jack’s safety depends on how I handle this situation.

I get up from my single bed, careful not to make any sound. I pick up the trash can by the desk and take it outside, careful to slowly open the door so it doesn’t creak too loudly.

Jack is sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up. The last thing I need right now is more questions. I’ve told enough secrets tonight.

I sit on the couch in the living room and sift through the trash. The whole apartment is quiet, except for the sound of paper rustling in the trash can and my own loud heartbeat.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.

Finally, I find it. Caine Foster’s business card. For once, I’m glad Jack never empties the trash.

As I pick up my phone, I realize my hands are shaking. This is, by far, the craziest thing I’ll ever do. Not even Katie would go for something this nuts. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

I enter Caine’s cell number into the phone and type a message. I stare at the letters until my eyes lose focus. It feels like time stands still.

I’m going to remember this moment for the rest of my life, but I can’t tell right now if I’ll remember this decision as a good one, or a bad one.

Okay, this is it.

I press the Send button.