Chapter 20

Janus

My entire body feels warm, relaxed, and deeply satisfied.

The soft curves of Dani’s body sculpted against my side certainly have a lot to do with those feelings.

She smiles sleepily at me. If we weren’t both completely exhausted, I’d definitely pin her beneath me and start things up again in response to that smile.

Instead, I brush my lips against hers.

“I’ve wanted this for three years,” I find myself admitting.

“Me, too, but I didn’t want to admit it. You’re a difficult man to forget, Janus O’Connell.”

“I could say much the same about you, Dani—minus the man part, of course.”

Dani laughs then rolls away slightly to lie on her back. I miss her warmth immediately.

She turns her head to stare at me. I frown in response.

“What is it?”

“You’re a difficult man to get off my mind—that’s for sure—except…I don’t actually know all that much about the man, Janus. I’ve had to do a lot of speculating—a lot.”

“Care to share?” I ask, turning onto my side to take in all of Dani’s beautiful form.

Dani laughs again.

“Oh, god, don’t make me go into it. My brain has gone to some very bizarre and convoluted places. It’s the journalist in me.”

“Would you rather hear about what actually makes me me then, to satisfy your burning curiosity?”

Dani’s eyes light up, and she’s immediately far more alert. “As if you even have to ask me such a question. Start at the beginning.”

“The beginning?”

“Yes. Your parents, where you grew up—everything.”

I pause for a second, considering the best part of my childhood to start with.

“I was born and raised in London at first. Not a great area. Not a terrible one either, though. My parents weren’t around much. They were archaeologists, but they took me along on their trips often enough, which was how I learned to speak so many languages. Then they died.”

“They’re both dead?”

“Car crash. Drunk truck driver fell asleep behind the wheel and completely totaled their car. It was…pretty nasty, actually. The driver died, too.”

Dani’s perfect mouth is frozen in a little oh of shock. Her eyes shine brightly with sympathy and sadness for a young Janus that she will never know.

“How old were you?” she asks quietly.

“Ten. I didn’t really know how to handle the information. I got placed with an aunt who didn’t want anything to do with me. She just wanted the government maintenance money for taking me in, but I was such a little shit that she ended up kicking me out.”

Dani sits up in outrage. “But you were ten!”

I chuckle darkly.

“She wasn’t a very good person. Don’t worry. I got her back for it after I grew up.”

Dani raises an eyebrow suspiciously.

“I didn’t do anything too illegal. She didn’t deserve the money for looking after me anyway.”

“I don’t think I want to know about that part of your life—I think,” Dani laughs. “What happened after she kicked you out?”

“I lived on the streets. Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t want to be put in the system. Social Services would march me back to my aunt’s, and she’d simply lie and say I ran away anyway. And then she’d kick me out again. That’s the kind of person she was.”

“How did you survive for so long on the streets of London? It must have gotten so cold in winter.”

I smile wanly. Dani is well aware of how I loathe the cold.

“There’s a frighteningly large homeless community in London. It’s horrific how little support there is for them, really, but they are a community, nonetheless. I met some other kids.”

I pause for a while, recalling my experience and the people I met, then continue, “Some were even younger than me, but most were older. All were abused and scared and neglected, but they all looked out for each other. The adults who weren’t out of their mind on drugs or alcohol helped out, too. I learned how to steal and lie and charm my way out of trouble.”

“Janus, that’s awful.”

I smile grimly. “That’s just the way it was. So I stayed in London until I was thirteen, then a group of us traveled to Paris by bus and train. The weather was much more to my liking there, and I started learning how to forge documents properly. I also developed a healthy appreciation for art, as you would in Paris.”

“Of course, as you would. A homeless teen in Paris learns how to appreciate art and scam people. Totally normal upbringing.”

I sit up against the pillows; Dani follows suit.

“How long were you in Paris then?”

“Only two years. Once I had a sufficiently believable false passport, I traveled over to Egypt and spent a few years in Cairo. The weather was even more to my liking there.”

Dani looks eager to hear more about my time in Egypt, so I go on, “That was where I met my mentor, and he essentially taught me everything I know. I also coincidentally met back up with Griff, and we worked some smaller jobs together for a week or so. It’s what truly solidified our friendship before we went on to create the Brotherhood years later.”

Dani frowns. “Griff? I think I’ve heard you mention him before.”

I look at Dani, surprised. How could I have spent all this time with her and never mentioned my closest friend?

I suppose that’s what happens when you’re desperately trying not to get close to someone.

I smile fondly, thinking of how I met Griff. “I picked his pocket back in London when I was twelve, but the bastard caught me. Instead of tattling on me, though, he wanted in on it. He was bored of his decidedly upper-class upbringing, it seemed. So he’d hang out with me whenever he could.

“He’s actually the one who fronted the cash for me to travel to Paris. When he turned eighteen, he celebrated in Cairo, which was where I ran into him again, and the rest is history. I was involved in lots of other endeavors I can’t really discuss for a few years. Then Gryphon, Leviathan, Manticore, and I formed the Brotherhood. And the world’s rich and famous got a little bit poorer.”

Dani is quiet for a few minutes. “Your life is pretty tragic, Janus.”

“My life is what I make of it,” I correct. “I had parents who loved me, even if they weren’t around much, and after they died, I learned how the world truly works. I’ve met some of the most wonderful, vulnerable people on this earth, and I’ve learned how to get by on my own. I might be a thief, and a damn great one, but you’ll never see me harm a hair on the head of someone who doesn’t deserve it. I could so easily have turned into a man I’d loathe, but I didn’t.”

Dani cups my face in her hands.

“I am truly, sincerely, glad that you turned out the way you did.”

I kiss her, a little roughly. Talking about my past has gotten me a tad emotional, though I wouldn’t want to admit it.

I snake a hand through Dani’s hair and pull her closer, just to feel her warmth and goodness.

When we pull apart, we’re both breathing heavily.

“What about you, Miss Robinson? Why are you you? What got you into investigative journalism?”

Dani waves a hand somewhat dismissively.

“It’s hardly interesting next to your own upbringing,” she laughs. “I was surrounded by boys, and later men, who were convinced they could do things better than me simply by virtue of their sex. Who was I to think I could handle the big, scary world on my own? What right did I have to want to know what was going on?”

I look at her expectantly to continue.

“I grew up in a small town—a small American town—hence, the inherent, old-fashioned rampant sexism. I escaped to New York for college as soon as I was able to. I wanted to prove to everyone—to my conservative parents, to my town, and, most importantly, to me—that I could do whatever I wanted. That I could take a gritty, challenging job like investigative journalism and do it well. Hell, that I could do it better than the men so intent on being better than me because they figured it was their privilege to be superior.”

“I hope they’ve all become suitably humbled.”

Dani gives me a look. “Even you don’t believe that, Janus. Of course, I still have to prove myself. I’ll probably always have to.”

“You don’t have to with me, Danielle. I’m well aware of how wonderful you are at your job.”

Dani flushes slightly at the unexpected compliment. She runs a hand through her hair, somewhat abashed.

“Thank you. It’s…I didn’t actually think I needed to hear that...but clearly, I did.”

“It’s not a bad thing to want validation sometimes.”

Dani kisses me. “Only from those I respect.”

“So, I haven’t lost your respect after fucking you? Good to know I didn’t do anything weird.”

She swats my arm but laughs raucously as I grab ahold of her and pin her unceremoniously beneath me. I kiss her collarbone…her neck…her lips.

Dani’s eyes are heavy with desire as she gazes up at me. “One more time before sleep?”

I grin wolfishly in response. “As if you have to ask.”