Chapter 26

Janus

I’m starting to think this girl is playing me. Again.

Sure, she’s smiling and rubbing her arm against mine. And yes, the way that dress clings to her while she walks is sexy as hell—but she needs to stop asking about Mahdi.

This isn’t what we agreed on. She does the writing, I make everything happen. She doesn’t need to know how everything happens.

In fact, it’s better for her if she doesn’t, and she knows that.

She needs to be kept in the dark. She needs plausible deniability.

Why so many questions and why so quickly?

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it’s a bit late for that.

I briskly turn a corner, feeling cobblestones under my feet, as she’s asking, innocently enough, “But what exactly does Mahdi do?”

I try to keep my voice calm, but I pick up the pace to shake some of the frustration and bitterness off.

A tiny bit of me is pleased to see that she’s racing to catch up with me and still stay elegant in that dress. A larger part of me is yelling at me to calm down; she’s always been curious.

Nobody has sex like the sex we’ve had just to get information.

She saves people—she’s not that cold.

You’re losing your grip, Jackal. Pull yourself together man!

“He makes things happen. He opens doors, that’s all you need to know,” I say as I try to keep the frustration out of my voice.

“But don't you see, Jackal? You have these great resources. That’s why I hired you. You make things happen. We can use them.”

Use them? These people are my family. My unorthodox, scoundrel family. I can’t use them.

I angrily turn another corner. The river splashes out underneath us, impossibly blue, and on the other side is Asia.

I can smell shisha and spiced tea, and I want to take her by the hand and show her a little of the softer side of the Middle East.

Janus O’Connell can forge a mean signature, but he can also recite some of the best Arabic and Farsi poems by heart.

Speaking of hearts. What’s this girl trying to do with mine?

Have I been stupid again?

Why does she want to use my friends? And why now all of the sudden?

“Dani, we’re not using them. You didn’t hire the brotherhood, you hired me. And we could use them at my discretion. That’s the deal.”

She’s stopped still, and she’s shaking her head now. A little frown on her perfect lips.

I want to kiss it off.

I want to walk away before she gets me in any deeper.

Oh god. Was I dumb enough to put myself in Tartarus’s path again, just to be used by some beautiful woman who’s standing in front of me, reaching for my face.

I may be losing my cool and my professionalism, but I’m still a professional scoundrel, and I notice that people are starting to look.

Is it because a lover’s tiff is always intriguing? Is it her perfect silhouette? Or is it what I suspect, that we’ve been found already?

A tourist takes a photograph in our direction.

I lean in close to her ear. “It’s not safe here. We need to move to where it’s louder.”

We walk in silence for a few blocks, feeling the heat of her skin so close to mine is nearly torturous, and we hit the tramline.

I scan the crowd for any kind of threats, and I notice that she does, too.

She may be manipulative, but she’s as smart as she is hot.

“Janus, what I’m trying to say is that...well...I think we could be a good team,” she reaches for my face, and this time I don’t stop her.

The evening is hot and clammy as it is, but the contact of our skin is hotter and as always, terrifyingly electric.

“Dani, I have a team. And we protect each other. You don’t need their information. You don’t need to ask them favors. I’ll cover what needs covering.”

She nods solemnly, hand still on my face and her dark eyes serious as mine.

“I know you’ve got my back, and I know you’ll do your job well. That’s no question. But what I’m saying is that we could really change things here. I know you want to make things better. I know you want to make things better for kids like you.”

I can’t tell if she’s honest or she’s a master manipulator.

I’m losing my grip.

“No, I don’t, Dani. I want to make things better for me. This started as a job, remember? I’m not some bloody philanthropist.”

We’re standing close together, eyes deadlocked on each other.

She’s even hotter when she’s fierce.

God, I wish we were in that private loft, and I could just direct all this doubt and anger onto that beautiful body and deal with these feelings later.

I’m an international criminal mastermind, and I need to bloody-well stay on-task.

Bodies are flowing past us, she’s still looking at me, her lips are still parted.

I still want to take her here and now.

“You say you don’t want to help, but I know you do. Your heart is huge. I remember how you saved that woman and her kid in the Sudan. Come on, our skills are a perfect match. Do this with me.”

Oh, I want to. I want to do everything with her—and to her. I want all of it, but I don’t want to be tricked again.

She’s giving me everything I want. I know what’s happening here; she’s using me as a resource to get what she wants.

Fool me once, shame on you, Dani.

Fool me twice? No one ever gets a chance to fool me twice.

But I kiss her anyway because I can’t not to.

And I kiss her because I want her to be telling the truth.

We would make a great team.

She tastes like mint and heat.

We’re drawing too much attention to ourselves again.

“Come on,” I say starting to walk. “This is dangerous and stupid. We need to bring this conversation indoors.”

“Jackal,” she’s matching my stride now, her confidence is back. “Why are you being so cold? I’m telling you I want us to be together, personally and professionally, don’t you want that?”

Why am I being so cold? You’re the one who’s probably playing me.

The colors of the golden hour are playing over the mosque turrets, and I’m half angry and half longing.

“I’m not being cold. I’m doing my job. Dani, you know how I feel about you. But it would compromise both of us if I told you too much. You always agreed. You don’t need to know. And you don’t need to ask for favors. I’ll help in all the ways I can. I always have.”

We turn a corner into a smaller street. We’re closer to the loft now. Luckily, in my angry walking, we’ve walked far too strange a trail for anyone to have followed us.

Nonetheless, we both scan all the nooks and crannies. I’m perfectly secretive ,but Dani isn’t-quite-as-subtle as I am. But then again, she doesn’t have my experience.

A call to prayer starts to sing out from one of the mosques, the sun is setting, and everything is beautiful in the way that only Istanbul can be.

I’m calmer now, and Dani is less insistent.

“Trust me to do my job properly, so I can keep helping you do yours.”

“Of course I trust you. I just need some kind of control, Janus. You know that.”

In more ways than one.

“Being left in the dark is not my strong suit.”

“Dani, we’ve been over this. This is why you hired me.”

“I know, I know, I know. And I do trust you. But,” she stops again and takes my hand in hers as she looks up at me. “You have to trust me too.”

I sigh.

“I do.”

It’s a lie.

A wonderful, delicious lie.

And I lean down to kiss her.