"Oh, my gosh, you've got to get those babies a puppy for Christmas." I said to Lance as they pulled out of his driveway.
"Believe me, I'd love to, but I learned, way back when Kate was three and I got her an electric scooter, that I had to okay Christmas gifts with the parents."
"The electric scooter didn't go over too well?" I asked.
"No," he said. He shrugged with a playful scowl. "The box said it was for ages six and up, but they were always saying how advanced she was, so I figured she could handle it."
I laughed. Sheila was tugging on her leash as we stood in Lance's driveway, so I dropped it. I figured she wouldn't go far. It was dark out, but his patio light was on. It was nice out there at night, and the water feature was calling my name. I wanted to walk to the other side and check out the goldfish. It was late, though, and I had stayed much longer than planned.
"Yeah, I guess a puppy is a little much without getting the parental okay," I said, looking at Sheila.
"Yeah, probably. And they get to play with Tank anytime they want. My mom keeps them all the time."
We were standing close to Lance's truck, and I watched as he leaned forward, opened the driver's door, reached in, and locked it before closing the door again. I knew what he had done because I could hear the lock as it clicked. I couldn’t help but look at the lines of his body as he made the maneuver. I had already noticed his muscular build, but it was impossible to ignore it as he lunged in front of me like that. He was lean but he was a substantial guy, and my eyes roamed over the curves of his back and legs. I wasn't sure I could ever look at a pair of cargos the same again. My heart began racing again as he came to stand beside me.
"I'd invite you in, but you said—"
"Yeah, I need to head home," I said interrupting him.
I had glanced toward the patio, but I turned to make eye contact with him when I spoke. Devastating—he physically devastated me. I felt a stabbing sensation through my chest at the sight of his face. His eyes—the shape of them and the color. They were gorgeous and kind. Looking into them caused a sense of peace and security to wash over me.
The more I got to know Lance, the more I respected him. That, combined with the fact that I was wrecked by his looks, had me feeling completely overwhelmed. It had been a long day, and I felt as though my head was spinning. I was physically weak and wanted more than anything for him to hold me. I was on the verge of just leaning in and collapsing into his arms. I knew he would catch me if I did it, and it was extremely tempting. It was crazy, but I really didn't want to go home. I just wanted to stay at his house forever. I wanted this to be my new life.
Sheila came back to my side, and Lance stooped down to pet her. He used both hands, rubbing her firmly behind the ears. She loved it so much that she closed her eyes. Lance stood with a groan, stretching his back.
"Tired?" I asked.
"Sore," he said.
"From helping D.J.?"
He nodded and took a deep breath, wearing a half-grin. I wanted to offer to help him—to massage him or do something to make it better.
"I bet he's sore too," I said since all my other options seemed like too much.
"No, probably not," he said.
"Did he not help you?" I asked, feeling protective.
Lance shrugged. "He did a little, but that kind of work is really hard on the hands." He flexed his big hands as if demonstrating how sore and tight they were. "It's not really the type of work a surgeon should be doing. I can't imagine trying to do a delicate surgery with my grips being sore like this. It's better that he left it to me."
"Why didn't he just hire someone?" I asked.
He gave me another little grin. "Because he's got a big, tough, little brother who doesn't mind helping him out."
He took a step closer to me, and I could barely catch my breath because of it. Sheila was exhausted and she stretched out on the pavement with a sigh. Lance and I had made some slight physical contact during our walk and even at his parents' place, but it was fleeting. The epic hug when I had first arrived that afternoon was by far the most fulfilling contact we had, and it was not enough.
"You are big, for a little brother," I said using his last statement to flirt with him.
I stared up at him, begging without words for him to kiss me already. I wanted it so badly my chest ached, my heart ached. I experienced absolute yearning as I stared at his flawless face. I felt as though I could spontaneously combust.
"Can I kiss you, Sidney?" he asked, staring at my mouth.
"Yes," I said with no hesitation. It was the understatement of the year. I was so giddy with anticipation that I had to work to hold back a giggle as I waited for him do it already. He came closer to me, stopping when the front of his body was nearly touching mine. He reached out and gently held my arm. The pressure was torturously light.
I needed more—had to have more.
There was nothing I could do to stop myself… I reached out and took a hold of the side of his shirt. I meant to just grab fabric, but my fingertips touched the side of his body, and I felt a gut-clenching wave of desire at the feel of my fingers against his taut torso. I took a sharp intake of breath, and he stepped closer to me, wearing a barely-there mischievous grin as he stared down at me.
"You're so beautiful," he said. "On the inside and out." He reached up, placing his fingers on the side of my face. "I just love your precious face."
I bit the inside of my lip.
"I like yours too," I whispered weakly. I was going to say I loved it, but it felt like I might not deliver it right, and I changed my mind at the last second. Then, I felt weird about saying 'like' because I didn't like his face, I loved it. He had an amazing face. I loved it, obviously.
"I love it," I said, changing my mind. "I meant to say I love it. You have a great face. I don’t just like it."
The corners of his mouth lifted in a slow smirk on account of my ramblings. I was going to apologize, but he didn't give me the opportunity. Before I knew was happening, he came even closer. His face drew closer and closer to mine, causing my breaths to come in short, panting spurts. Finally, his lips were so close to mine that I could feel the heat of them.
"Sidney," he whispered.
I could feel his warm breath.
I didn't answer him.
I couldn't.
I couldn’t bear to wait any longer.
I stretched up, leaning into him at the same time that I pulled him closer using the grip I had on his shirt.
Our lips met.
The contact was excruciatingly delicate, but I had been aching for it to happen so badly that it felt as though I might actually faint. Lance gently sucked my lower lip into his mouth, opening just enough that I felt the slick wetness of the inside of his mouth. I gripped his shirt tighter and a tiny sound came from my throat. A deeper, approving, guttural sound came from Lance's chest just before he stepped closer, gripping me tighter and covering me with his kiss. I wrapped my arms around him, and he kissed me with gentle passion, moving and shifting his mouth over mine with sensual tenderness.
His kiss was perfect. It gave me sensations and awakened needs I never knew existed. His mouth opening to mine caused waves of aching desire to flow through me, and I clutched him tighter, feeling like I never wanted to let him go. I wasn't sure how long we stood there—holding each other as we kissed. It must have been at least ten minutes before he finally broke contact.
Lance pulled back just far enough that I could see his smile before he placed another kiss on the side of my mouth, then one on my cheek. He ducked, nestling his face under my chin and placing a few more kisses on the sensitive skin of my neck. I instinctually gripped him tightly when he did that, and I could feel his face shift as he smiled at my reaction.
"I gotta let you go before I get us both in trouble," he said.
"I know," I said, trying my best not to seem disappointed. "I have a busy day tomorrow."
He took a step back, smiling at me.
I straightened, smiling back at him and doing my best to ignore the unwelcome emptiness I felt without him next to me.
"Thank you for coming over," he said. "And for doing the commercial. I'm really excited about it."
I stooped to pick up Sheila's leash. It was fortunate she didn't feel like going anywhere because I probably wouldn't have noticed. "I feel like I should be thanking you," I said. "I'm having fun doing that commercial… and I had a really good time tonight. Thank you for inviting me."
He grinned. "We'll have to do it again.
"I hope so," I said, walking toward my car.
That was the last thing we said to each other.
We waved and smiled, and Lance stood in his driveway and watched me as I drove away.
I was still thinking about him the following day.
I kept picturing his house and his parents' house, and reliving various moments we shared. I felt a tangible toe-curling sensation at the memory of his kiss. I kept envisioning it. I couldn’t get him out of my head in other ways, too. Every time I glanced at the sky, I remembered the conversation we had about God. The fact that Lance had pointed out that simple way to be thankful made me respect and admire him. I just got this warm fuzzy feeling every time I thought about him, which was a lot. It was crazy how much he was on my mind. All night and the following morning, my thoughts kept going back to him.
Finally, I had more distractions later in the day when I met up with the guys to record the music video. Jonah had been uncertain about where we were going to film, but ultimately, he decided to do all of it at the studio.
It was a long afternoon. We all got our hair and makeup done, and then we did some shooting outside before going inside and doing it all over again. It was only a forty-second clip, but Jonah wanted to make sure he had enough footage to piece together something wonderful.
We went at it all afternoon, trying different setups and angles. Dale had already done his part the day before, so he wasn't even there with us. Obviously, he trusted Jonah because he gave us the use of his studio and told us to lock up when we were finished.
I actually had a lot of fun with those guys. Jonah and the musicians were all funny and easy to be around. They were all nice-looking guys who weren't shy about flirting with me, either. A couple of them had even mentioned wanting to take me out sometime.
I was happy they were being so nice, but honestly, at that point, I only had eyes for Lance. Even while we were in the middle of working and I was surrounded by all those guys, my thoughts kept going back to him.
It was nearly 6 o'clock in the evening when we wrapped up shooting. Jonah had promised us dinner, so he went with Gabe and Dustin to pick it up, leaving me at the studio with Trevor and Chris. They said it would take them about a half-hour, so Trevor and I stayed in the studio while Chris went out to the waterfront to take a walk and call his wife.
Trevor was one of the main ones I talked to. He played guitar, and as the one who did that famous lick at the beginning of the song, he and I had done a lot of shots shoulder to shoulder. He was funny, and best of all, he was extremely down-to-earth.
We had talked a lot that day, and I was happy to get to know someone who had a family that was as at least as flawed as mine. He had some sad stories from his childhood, but he was funny and had a good outlook on life, and we ended up laughing about our parents and comparing stories to see who had the most dysfunctional family.
There was a couch in the studio and we sat on it, laughing and trying to one-up each other while the guys went to get dinner.
I told him that the last birthday card I received from my father was when I was twelve, and that he had misspelled my name.
He told me that last time he saw his father, he ended up with a black eye.
I told him I had to pay my mom's electric bill the other day, and he told me that if his mom needed money, she would probably try to find a way to steal it from him.
After experiencing Lance's perfect family the evening before, it actually made me feel a little better to know that there were good, kind, intelligent, successful people in the world who had grown up in less-than-perfect situations. It was a relief to be able to laugh about all of the craziness I had experienced growing up.
Trevor was one of Miami's top studio musicians, and he had come from a situation that was far worse than mine. He was cool and kind, and I was thankful for the experience of getting to know him.
It was those types of conversations that gave me confidence and let me know that I wasn't alone.