“Wait,” I said.
Hold up. Had he said stop too?
Over the chatter in my head, I was sure I’d imagined it. Before anything happened, I had to get something off my chest or I was going to bring a whole new, higher-than-ever level of shame to myself.
The penthouse really. Top floor in ho tower.
“I can’t do this yet.” I gathered my words and backed off some, prepared to do what I should have when he first came in. But I’d been so relieved he hadn’t stood me up that everything had slipped right out of my mind. “Before we do this, I need to talk to you about something.”
I’d been nervous about it the whole day, and when I hadn’t heard from him, it only increased the anxiety I felt about asking him for a favor. I absolutely did not want him thinking I was having sex with him in exchange. It wasn’t a scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours type of thing. The whole thing was uncomfortable, and I wanted it out of the way so I could just be there in the moment with him—it had been a long few days.
Holding his stubbly cheeks between my palms, I asked, “Did you have something you wanted to say?”
Dana, quit stalling.
“No, go ahead. You first.” He sat up, adjusting me between his legs, his arms loosely wrapped around my waist.
“Okay. You said you have a place at the lake, right?” It was painful. I hated asking anyone for anything, but we were in a pinch. Trust me, I’d looked and looked for alternatives.
“Yeah,” he answered, and then patiently waited for me to go on.
Why was it so hard? I swallowed and took a deep breath through my nose, the masculine scent of him driving me forward.
God, I want him.
“Well, Jyl already has flights booked, and the place we were staying cancelled our reservation. They’re still dealing with water damage; it’s a whole mess.” I summoned all the humility I could tolerate, but it sounded more like rambling.
His thumbs rubbed circles at the base of my spine and his brown eyes held mine, like pools of creamy coffee, as he patiently listened.
“Would it be possible for us to stay at your lake place next weekend for Becca’s bachelorette party? We can pay.” I winced, knowing what had to be said. “This is not me giving you sex for a place to crash. Okay? Let’s just keep that straight.”
His half-grin was a good sign, and I instantly relaxed by half.
Cord was handsome, silly, and as naked as the day he was born. Looking like a smart ass, he cocked his head to the side. “Well, what is it then?”
“It’s me asking you for a favor, and I want to have sex with you—either way.”
Why mince words? I was going to give it to him so good.
People, do I need to remind you that he’d said he’d missed me?
Any woman on the planet would have felt the same way, like horny putty in his big hands. Those words were medicine, the remedy, for the loneliness I’d felt stronger in the last two days than I had my whole life.
Maybe it was emotional placebo and he’d only just said it to say it, but it worked.
“Well—in that case—the cabin is all yours.”
Yes. One problem solved.
“Thank you. You’re rescuing my ass.”
“This ass?” He spread his giant paws across my back side, the tips of his fingers sneaking to my center and spreading me just enough to make me want to squirm. He was bad and being such a guy, but I still smiled. “Yep, that’s the one you’re saving.”
“Saving it for when?” He bit his bottom lip while a devilish grin tipped the corners of his mouth.
Pterodactyls flapped in my stomach. I froze, gaping at him.
Was he serious? Was he talking about anal?
“Just kidding. Maybe.” He winked. “Now come here.”
I started to lean in when I remembered I’d cut him off. “What did you need?”
He chuckled and gave my ass playful squeeze. “Oh, yeah. My socks. They gotta go. I can’t get down with socks on.” His eyes flared, and then he rubbed his socked feet over my calves, his animated face showing mild displeasure.
So handsome. So fun. So damn weird. So good at making it all seem real.
That was the moment I realized Cord had the power to rip my guts out, and I was probably going to let him.
He pitched once to each side, ripping his socks off his feet, and when he was finished, he tugged the hammock’s fabric and reclined into the wide seat he’d made.
“Hey, we need a condom.” I’d never been with a guy without one, but I trusted him.
“You said you were clean and on the shot. I’m clean too—thanks for asking. I don’t want to use a condom, if that’s all right. I just want you.” He paused and waited for me to react.
I rolled a smile around my lips and tried to hide how excited the thought actually made me. He wanted nothing between us, and I was desperate to really feel him. Just him. All of him.
“Now, if that suits your royal highness, get that ass up here. You can use the cabin, but I’ll need a deposit.” He shamelessly rolled his hips and my mouth watered.
“And you accuse me of being cheesy.”
Why did he have to seem so damn perfect?
If ever you’re given the chance to have acrobatic sex, take it.
I’d never done anything like that before. But ever since the day I’d seen the swings in that classroom, I’d fantasized about being in there with him. Those dirty daydreams were nothing compared to the real thing.
The swings didn’t allow for going fast and hard, but that was perfectly okay. Being on top with him, like that, I found a brand new level of fullness. It was intense and hard to put into words, but deep and urgent came to mind.
If his lips weren’t on mine, they were kissing me somewhere else. His arms held me tightly and I clung to him, greedily needing more and more.
It was both hanging on and letting go.
I’d already hit the crest of two orgasms, and all signs pointed to Cord getting close to his. His hands fit into the creases between my thighs and my hips where he took control of our bodies, striking his with mine.
Cord’s face nearing a climax was ecstasy in the flesh, and I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. I’d heard people tease others about their O-faces, I’d even joked about my lovers’ in the past.
His was nothing to laugh at.
Slack-jawed, his heavy breathing had all but stopped. Brow tight. Eyes on me, they alternated slowly between wide open and squeezed shut.
“Dana. Dana, fuck,” he mouthed, but not much sound came out.
Following his rhythm, I rocked into him. His hands slid up my back, under my arms, and held on to me by my shoulders. His embrace constricted around me, and he roared into my neck. Focused on the sensation of him pulsating within me, I wrapped my arms around him and fought to catch my breath.
He kissed the skin below my ear, and when he relaxed back into the suspended chair, I fell unto his chest, limp and spent.
“Okay, now I’m really better.” He ran his fingers through my hair and down my spine, causing my eyes to flutter shut. The tender tracing, up and down my hot skin, gave me goosebumps. It would have been nice to fall asleep there. Nice and stupid. But he was just so comfortable, even if he was still inside me.
I didn’t care.
“The cabin is all yours next weekend, but I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been there since last fall. It’ll need some attention before it’s ready,” he explained.
I hadn’t thought of that, but it was a small price to pay to ensure Becca had fun and Jyl didn’t lose her money on airfare. “That’s fine, I have extra vacation time. I can do whatever it needs.”
“It’ll probably take a day or so to get everything in order and stocked for your weekend.”
“Okay.”
It was only a three-hour drive, I could leave early next Wednesday afternoon and have a full day to work on it before everyone else arrived on Friday.
“I’ll give you the spare keys Friday night when you come over for dinner.”
I wasn’t falling for it. A booty call one thing. Hooking up at the gym was another. Hell, even Sunday Funday was still on the border of acquaintance territory.
Making me dinner was a date.
“Friday?” I’d never agreed to that.
“Or Thursday? I’ve got something tomorrow, but if you can’t wait until the weekend to see me, then I suppose Thursday will work. Just make sure you bring clothes for work on Friday.”
I pushed up on his chest to look him in the face.
With one eyebrow lifted in challenge, he added, “It’s your choice… monkey.”
“Don’t call me that. Fine. Friday night, but I’m going home after dinner.”
“No, you’re not.”
I wanted to hate him because he looked so cocksure, and because he was most likely right, but I didn’t back down.
“We’ll see about that.” I wasn’t proud of it, but I stretched up to kiss him because he was irresistible and maybe it would shut him up.
Before my lips met his, he said, “I’ll treat you so good, you’ll never want to leave.”
I rolled my eyes and prayed he was wrong, and then kissed him like he was right.
I hated talking on the phone, but instead of rudely hanging up on Jodi—like I wanted to—I switched it to my other ear. She’d been firing off questions in rapid succession since the second I told her we’d be staying at Cord’s cabin.
“When did you ask him?”
“I ran into him at the gym.” With my vagina.
“Oh, that’s right. Do you like it there? Becca still swears by the rec at the college.”
“Yeah, it’s nice.” I’d successfully diverted the conversation from one sticky spot, but I didn’t need them telling me I told you so again and kept it moving along. “Mom is going to keep Max then?” That topic would surely distract her. I should have gone there first.
“Yes. Thank God.” She giggled. “When I told him he was staying at Mimi and Pop’s next weekend he went and got his backpack. He loves it over there. He’s getting so smart and funny.”
I continued with my filing as she spoke, apparently I could multitask after all.
“He is funny,” I agreed. I’d taught him how to make a popping sound with his thumb and his cheek a few weeks ago. I’d nearly peed my pants watching him do it and then how he’d giggle hearing the sound he made all by himself.
Jodi said, “Speaking of funny, Becca told me you’re dating some goofy guy. Why am I just now hearing about this shit?”
Oh, fuck.
“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” I acquiesced. “We’ve only hung out a few times.”
“Becca said you told her the sex was really, really good. You better start talking, sister.”
I had to stop telling my blabber-mouthed best friend stuff. When would I learn?
“Come on, Jodi,” I pled. When I told Becca, it had been a moment of weakness in my office. I was going bonkers waiting to hear from Cord after spending the weekend with him.
See? That’s what too-hot guys do to you. They make you wait. Then wait. Then wait. Just to see if you’ll dangle.
I’d been barely hanging on.
“What’s his name? Do I know him? When are we gonna meet him? Is he coming to the wedding?”
One question I didn’t want to answer after another. We’d come full-circle.
“Jodi, it’s nothing. I swear. We met a couple weeks ago, and we’ve hung out a few times.” Since I’d lied and named him Joe when I told Becca, I had to remain consistent. Average Joe, the guy who New Dana was supposedly seeing.
“His name is Joe, and it’s not serious. I’m not inviting him to the wedding.” I wouldn’t have to, he’d be there anyway. I conveniently avoided the part where she totally knew him. I hated lying, and the fewer fibs I told, the less I’d have to keep straight.
I think the guilt was all the same though.
Guilt over not telling the people who I was closest to the truth.
Guilt to myself for not being stronger and just avoiding him all together.
Guilt for calling him average because he wasn’t average at all, and I wasn’t even talking about his looks or his sexual prowess anymore. His best qualities were his personality and his stupid-ass, irresistible, sense of humor.
Yeah, I know. You may have given me too much credit.
Remember? I was quitting cold turkey. Then it was just once. Then a little more. Somehow that had turned into me waiting around for him and stalking my phone—which I fucking hated. So cliché.
I was a ridiculous cliché. As predictable as they came.
It was just that, even if he was just playing a game with me, I was enjoying it. The way he made me laugh. How he touched, kissed. And—it probably sounded dumb—but the way he petted me. The word petted sounded lame, even to myself as I’d thought it. I just couldn’t find a better word for it.
After we’d have sex, or sometimes even when we hadn’t, he’d run his hands over my skin—a hand, a leg, a cheek. He’d used slow, unrushed strokes. No one had ever done that to me before.
If you’d ever felt cherished, then you’d understand. It was arresting.
So even though I was well aware that our arrangement of sorts was only temporary, for the time, I selfishly took advantage.
After the wedding, I’d sworn to myself, I’d make a clean break.
Anxiety pinched in my neck, and I shifted my cell phone to the other ear.
Jodi said, very blasé, “Well, Bec thinks you like him.”
“I do,” I answered too quickly. “I mean, he’s all right.”
She hummed over the line, but smartly she didn’t pry for more.
My phone vibrated in my hand, and just like I had all week, I hoped it was from Cord.
I was so damn pathetic. “I have to go.”
“Fine. Tell this Joe person I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Shut up. I’ll talk to you later.”
CORD: It’s not supposed to be cool or rainy, but, just in case, you better wear The Trench Coat over to my house tonight.
I smiled, then scanned my mind for an instance when he would have seen me wear it.
ME: My trench coat, huh?
CORD: Yes, and we refer to it as THE Trench Coat. Might as well bring those purple sweats too.
ME: Fine, if we’re playing this game, I’d like to see you dress up a little. Fair is fair. Plus, you’re some big shot business guy. I’m sure you have more than one suit. You can wear which ever one you like. I’m not picky.
After seeing him in a tie and jacket after work at the gym, I had to admit it was nearly all I thought about. He knew how to wear a suit.
CORD: Deal.
CORD: I made you a spot in my garage.
Was that some sexual thing I didn’t know about? His garage? Oh, God. A spot for what?
CORD: Just pull in there to park.
I’d known that’s what he was talking about the whole time. My car. Yeah, I knew.
ME: What are you making to eat?
There was no telling with that guy. From his order at the Waffle House to his self-proclaimed baking skills, it could be anything.
CORD: No fucking clue.
I wasn’t expecting that answer and it made me laugh, excited to be with him again. He was entertaining, if nothing else, and he was growing on me like all my friends had. In fact, that was a big part of his allure.
ME: I’m leaving work now.
CORD: Hurry up, kitten.
CORD: And, before you shoot that down, you should know I’m a cat guy.
ME: No more fucking nicknames!
Walking out of the building, I headed for my car waiting to see what he’d say to that.
CORD: Fine.
CORD: Bossy.
We’d messaged almost constantly, and he called when he said he would. Shocking. I honestly didn’t know that was a thing. Hell, I didn’t even bother to remember what time he’d told me he’d be calling the other night, since I didn’t really believe it was going to happen.
I was in the tub—minding my own business, shaving my legs—when my cell rang. I almost dropped my phone in the water, trying to get the damn thing answered.
Throughout all our conversations that week, we’d hadn’t really set a time for when I was supposed to come over Friday night, what we’d be doing, or if he’d made any plans.
I hadn’t even been sure what to wear until he mentioned The Trench Coat, which sounded kind of fun and sexy. I was such a sucker for that shit.
It wasn’t until I was rushing around, throwing a few things in a bag to leave in my car—just in case—that I remembered where he’d seen the coat.
Maybe it was the new-found, needy romantic in my mind, but my temperature rose two full degrees when I recalled it was the day we’d met.
I was so fucked.