I’ve already been to Kuras’ apartment once when he invited me to dinner. With my head filled with worry for Goldie, as well as trying to wrap my head around Kuras and his being my fated mate, I have to admit that I didn’t take the time to pay attention to the man and where he lived.

This is a second chance to fix that. I can’t keep putting Kuras off. It’s not fair to him if I don’t give us a chance. It’s not fair that I keep flipping around like this.

Part of me wants to get to know him better. Kuras is an amazingly patient man. He was willing to step up and help Goldie and me search for Rayne. This isn’t something he has to do, yet he was cheerful and focused as he helped. This impresses me.

The other part isn’t ready to allow him close.

My brother’s suicide is still fresh in my mind. We never got the answers on why he took his own life. Two decades later, I still don’t know.

I go over it in my head, again and again. Nothing makes sense to me in his death.

I keep hoping that time will ease the pain but every passing year sees the wound still fresh and open. I can’t let anyone close. To lose someone I love? Again?

It’s not a risk I want to take. It will destroy me.

Now here sits my fated mate, reaching out to me. He is tireless in his unceasing efforts to draw me into conversation, to draw me in as a part of his life.

All I do is push him away. Every time I try to gain some distance, I see the hurt in the way he looks at me and it crushes my soul.

So I’m not even sure why I’m at his house again. If I were serious about keeping him pushed away, I would have turned down his offer.

Despite myself, I am having a good dinner of Chinese take out in the middle of his living room floor. It’s easy to be around Kuras and I’m drawn under his spell. Maybe it’s our connection. I’m sure that helps.

Kuras gets up to get two fresh beers. Alone in the living room, I’m curious at all the divergent things he has displayed. A flat screen television, some books, and a lot of pictures of different proud parents with him in each one. Those must be his clients. In every picture, he’s smiling with the baby proudly displayed.

Tucked in a far corner in the living room is a large plastic tub. Peeking out of it are various stuffed animals. Rabbits, bears, dogs and cats, even a giraffe with its head tilted sadly to the side. I pick it up and it rattles softly in my hands.

They vary in muted colors and basic shapes. Baby toys. On the bookshelf are dozens upon dozens of children’s books.

“I keep extras for when a family can’t afford them,” Kuras says from behind me.

I turn with the sad, floppy giraffe in my hands. The look on his face tears at my heart. His desire for his own family is plain. It was the same look I saw on my friends’ faces when they finally found their mates.

It touches something deep within me as well.

“That’s generous of you.”

Kuras takes the giraffe and wiggles him around. “In a way, I’m hoping that I can give them to my babies. When I finally have them. If I do.”

“Kuras—”

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to sound like I was pressuring you.” Kuras gently strokes along the giraffe’s head, smoothing back the tuft of fake fur mohawk between its ears. “I’ve just dreamed about having my own family, you know? I guess we all do. Or most of us do. But it’s not fair to you for me to bring all that baggage into this.”

“It’s fine.” I know I’m not being fair to him. I stand between two opposing thoughts, one of wanting to embrace Kuras as mine, and the other to keep him at arms length.

I hook my hand behind his neck and pull him close. The giraffe is tossed back into the box to free his hands to brace on my abdomen. Where he touches me is warm, gentle, almost tentative. I keep the pressure up, drawing him in. His arms wrap around me.

His face tilts up to meet my gaze and all of the world drops away again, just like when we first met. At that time, in that space, there is nothing but the two of us at the center. It’s so easy to close the distance until our mouths brush, feather soft.

Kuras exhales, the last of the tension held in his body melting away. He becomes pliable in my arms.

It’s the most natural thing to close the distance and claim his mouth.

My world tilts on its side.

This is my mate. My body knows this, recognizes this and desires to feel Kuras writhing as we find our peace together.

His stomach presses against my cock. It’s stiff and pressing against the line of my zipper, not painful but certainly irritating. My dragon shifts anxiously, urging me to claim Kuras as my mate. The instinct grows harder to fight with every breath.

Kuras’ heart pounds heavily in his chest. It taps against mine in rapid beats. I feel it beneath my finger tips when I stroke down his throat. With my thumbs, I press up on his chin to tilt his face until we break with a gasp.

“I want you,” he whispers. The shattering of my resolve falls like shards around our feet.

With one motion, I encourage his legs around my waist. I don’t want to fight this.

Not now, when things are jumbled around.

Finding his bedroom is straight-forward. The bed is only a few more steps beyond the bedroom door and I don’t slow down until I tip us both onto the mattress. Getting clothes off would have been easier while we were standing but Kuras is flexible and I’m creative and we manage to get naked with a minimum amount of time apart.

Kuras pushes against my chest and breaks our kiss again. “Let me turn over,” he pants softly.

“No.”

His eyes widen and lips part in protest. I silence him with another hard kiss before shifting between his legs. Hooking my hand beneath his knee, I push and bend so it’s trapped against his body with my weight. “I want to watch you,” I finally explain.

He nods quickly, his fingers digging into my shoulder to drag me back down to latch onto his mouth again. His lips part and I dive in to fuck his mouth just like I plan to fuck his ass.

He’s wet and opens quickly to my probing fingers. His body is ready for me, hungry for me, just like I am for him. With no more preamble, I lift my hips and pull my cock even with his hole. A flex of my hips and I breach him smoothly. His breath hitches and I swallow his moans as his body accepts me completely.

The heat of his body slowly envelops my cock until our hips are flush. Kuras pounds on my shoulder, his fingers clenching to hold on as I lose myself in the rhythm of our coupling. It’s not frenetic because I don’t want to hurt him, but the energy between us leaves me lightheaded and unable to do more than follow the instincts of my dragon.

Kuras holds on, chanting my name softly until his voice takes on a different tone. He’s close to reaching climax. The knuckles of his hand brush against my abdomen as he strokes in time with my thrusts. With a gasp, he throws his head back and his chest lifts in a graceful arch from the bed. His keening cry is joined by the spread of warmth between us as he tips over the edge.

The squeeze of his body over my shaft is enough to send me into the final stages of orgasm as it rushes to organize. My dragon wants me to make the final plunge into his body and knot but a sudden jolt of reason strikes me. I’m not ready for that. At this time, I don’t believe either of us are.

I lift from Kuras and pull out, pumping my fist along my dick for the last few moments before my seed joins his on his stomach. Relief floods through my body as I collapse on him, bracing myself as well as I can to keep from crushing him.

The silence is punctuated by our breathing and the protest of Kuras’ bed frame when I shift off him to roll onto my back. Kuras follows me immediately, rolling into me to sling an arm and leg over my body. “Wow,” he says quietly.

“Yeah.”

There in the quiet of his bedroom, with the thump of our heartbeats slowly receding to normal again, his warmth at my side is a comfort. It’s natural to have him there in the safety of my arms. The desire to protect him wells up within me and I allow myself a fleeting moment of fantasy to dream. This is what it means to have someone to love, to protect, to have at my side. Peace.

My fated mate.

This contentment is unfamiliar. I have never had it. Perhaps it’s because I don’t want it to be familiar. Contentment gives way to happiness and I risk too much reaching for that. Not with someone, with anyone, even if they’re my fated mate.

Kuras lifts his head to look up at me. “What’s up?”

He senses something’s wrong. Damn it. Why do I constantly do this to myself? To him? “Just reflecting on the day.”

It’s not a complete lie. It’s just not the whole truth. He deserves the truth but right now I can barely be truthful to myself for more than just a few stolen moments at a time.

“I think the information we uncovered will help a lot in finding Goldie’s sister.” Kuras can’t hide the disappointment in his voice. To his credit, he’s not pressing the issue, which I appreciate.

Maybe one day I can talk about this with him. It’s not today.

I manage to get a little more pillow talk in, mulling over all the things we know so far about the muggings, Rayne’s disappearance, Austin’s tie through his father, before I roll to the edge of the bed with an apology. “I have an early day tomorrow. It’s my turn to open the shop.”

When I dared to look over my shoulder, the hurt is on Kuras’ face. I wish I had the strength to make it go away. I am not ready for that yet.

I cup his chin and pull it in for a kiss. “Thank you for tonight. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.”

Kuras pulls on his jeans and walks me to the door. There’s a strange feeling in my chest as I stand there to say goodbye.

For all my fear of letting him close, for not wanting to lose him like I lost my brother, I can’t shake the tightness that grips my throat and I choke on all the words I wish I could say.

This is my fated mate.

And I’m a coward.