I think I’m going to be sick.

Sako is looking at me like I’m about to fracture into a thousand pieces. It just shows how in tune he is with me because that’s how I feel right now.

I can’t get in his apartment fast enough. Once the door is shut and he’s sliding the deadbolt into place, I feel like I can breathe. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Sako follows behind me. “Want some company?”

“No. I need some time, Sako.”

He wants to fight me on it but I make my escape into the bathroom before he can. Through the wood, I mentally beg him to please understand. I guess he does because I can hear him head back down the hall to the living room.

I take my time in the shower, letting the hot water beat on my shoulders. Steam fills the bathroom. I’m in a fog of heat and moisture, taking deep breaths until the panic passes.

I’m caught in the web of my own bad deeds and I don’t see a way out. My whole life was upended tonight. If there’s a way through this, I can’t see it.

It’s only when the water turns cold that I dry off and pull on my pajama pants. The soft cotton against my overly sensitive skin feels comforting. Sako meets me in the bedroom with a cup of hot chocolate. “This usually cheers me when I’m down.”

I almost protest but it would be a lie. I don’t want to set that kind of tone with him so I accept it gratefully.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

We get comfortable on the bed. Sako dims the lights, giving the bedroom a den-like quality to it. It’s cozy and makes me feel safe.

“Everyone’s worried about me,” I begin in a soft voice.

“That’s what we do. We worry about our own.”

“I’m not, though.”

Sako sighs heavily. “Yes, you are. You’re mine. That makes you all of ours.”

“I don’t mean that.” The steam from the hot chocolate curls and dances with the subtle air current in the room.

“There is no other meaning to it, Carlo.” Sako takes my mug and sets both of ours on the side table. “Look.” He fluffs the pillows to sit up in the bed, then pulls me to recline against him. His arms circle around me protectively and rests his cheek against the top of my head. “I won’t blow smoke at you and say what you used to do doesn’t bother me. It does. You were part of a group that doesn’t have my best interests in mind. In fact, they seem set on opposing me and everything that I am. But there’s a past tense to that. Were. You’re not now. And the more you get your memory back, you’re not showing signs you want to go back to them. That says a lot about you. It shows I can trust you to not sell me or the guys out.”

His words calm me because I know they’re heartfelt. Sako is a bossy and particular man. There’s no denying how much he cares for me. The change that has turned him around is obvious. When I first moved in, he acted like he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.

Now, he’s holding me in bed and trying to make me feel better about the bad choices I have made in my life. “I’m sorry we keep rehashing this over and over. The guilt isn’t going away.”

“Because you can’t wish that sort of thing away.” Sako sounds so confident when he tells me that. “It’ll come and go, and at the worst possible time. Every time it comes back, it’ll feel a little less intense until the slow process of walking it out finally mutes it enough that it’s just a distant feeling.”

I hope so. This is a miserable feeling. “I’m glad I was able to provide some value tonight.”

“It was more than just a small thing, Carlo,” Sako kisses me softly, then untangles to grab our mugs, handing me mine first. “If I understand Varos and Ronnie right, this is a big thing. A huge thing. Every little bit that you have provided has leapfrogged us further and further in understanding.”

I feel marginally better about that. “I’m glad.”

“And the guys are genuinely pleased about the baby. In fact, Kuras, that’s Bronaz’ mate, is a doula.”

“That’s the guy Nosko mentioned?”

Sako nods. “Yeah. Bronaz talked to him and he wants to come by in the morning to talk to you about the baby and pregnancy. Apparently, I get to be pregnant along with you.”

“You what?” I laugh and almost spill my hot chocolate.

“Smart ass. I know what you were thinking. Bronaz says I’ll learn how to support you through the entire process so I can be there when you give birth.”

“I’m glad.” To know that Sako won’t leave me to my own devices is comforting. “How early?”

“He lives with a late sleeper. He’s not going to be up before nine unless he has an early client or an emergency.” Sako swirls his mug and drinks the last of his hot chocolate. He sets his mug to the side, then takes mine before I can take a sip.

“Hey! I wasn’t done.”

“Yes you are. Because now we’re going to make out. You’re all clean. I’m not going to let that go to waste.”

Before I protest further, Sako has me pulled on top of him, kissing me to distraction.

It works. All thoughts of guilt and shame and worthlessness flee my mind in the wake of Sako filling my world with his touch.

* * *

Meeting Kuras is a real treat. He’s kind and funny and compassionate and genuinely concerned with my health and the continued health of the baby. Sako is very hands off at the beginning but that doesn’t last long before we were all talking and laughing about some of the baby stories Kuras tells us.

He and I are not too far apart in conception dates, only by a handful of weeks. It’ll be nice to have someone to go through this with. Not that Sako isn’t totally great about this but in all honesty, I’m an outsider.

Not only am I someone who, until recently, was an enemy, I’m also a wolf in a clan of dragons. Which brings up doubts about what will happen with my baby, being of mixed shifter blood. Sako assures me that Austin turned out just fine and so will our baby.

That’s a big relief.

Sako walks Kuras to the door and leans against it when the other man leaves. “Feeling better about things?”

I curl up at the end of the sofa and cradle my glass of juice. “I do, actually. I was sweating that I’d have to figure all this out on my own.”

“Hey now,” Sako says. He grabs the remote and flops down on the sofa with me. He leans against me, his feet propped up on the cushions. “I’m right here.”

“Yes, you are.” I squirm around so his resting against me is more comfortable for the both of us. “But I’m the one pregnant.”

“You get all the fun.”

“I’m sure you won’t be thinking that when I’m big as a barrel and complaining about swollen ankles.”

Sako tilts his head back to look at me upside down. “You got me on that one.”

“So what are you going to do for your day off?”

“I figured I’d watch the game. Unless no one good is playing, then maybe stream a movie or something. I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far in my goofing off. Was there something you wanted to do?”

“Nope.” I drain my glass and set it on the floor near the sofa leg before getting comfortable holding Sako in my arms. It’s a comfortable, lazy position, and I’m glad for the opportunity. He’s done so much for me, taken care of me, held me when I was upset or depressed or just scared.

His thick hair is silky soft in my fingers as I comb, giving attention to massaging his scalp. He releases a deep groan, like a giant satisfied growl.

“Keep that up and I’ll follow you home.”

“Good thing it’s not far from here.”

He gets comfortable and we lapse into a comfortable silence.

The channels flicker as he surfs looking for something to watch before he gives it up. The screen goes black and he gives the remote a toss to land on the coffee table.

“Nothing appeals to you?”

“Not really. I have something on my mind. Are you in a place where we can talk?”

Torn between really curious and really worried, I push away the worry and go with my gut to trust Sako. “Sure.”

He wiggles and turns so that he’s stretched on top of me. My knees part to allow him to fit perfectly between my legs. Looking down, he frowns. “I’m not squishing you, am I?”

“I’m fine. You heard what Kuras said. Babies can be remarkably resilient. Especially dragon babies.”

“Good.” He rests his weight on me and I like how comfortable it feels to have him like this. It is comforting, protective, sheltering. Like nothing exists outside the two of us. “Carlo, you’re having my baby.”

“Am I?” I tease. “That’s a surprise to me.”

“Don’t be a dick. I’m going somewhere with this. You’re having my baby. I think we both know that this fated mate thing is a real bond between us.”

I don’t disagree with that. I remember what it was like the first time we touched. Even as angry as he was at me, or who he thought I was, the bond was undeniable.

“I want to claim you. To knot with you officially, make it permanent.”

My eyes blink rapidly. He’s willing to make this a real, permanent thing? “I…don’t know what to say.”

“Yes would be a good start.”

He’s smiling at me and my heart melts. There’s no doubt in my heart that I’d love to be claimed by him. To have that unbreakable bond between us, tying us together. If there’s any hesitation in him, I don’t see it. His expression is open and honest. “You’re amazing.”

“Well, yeah,” he says, ducking down to kiss me tenderly. My lips tingle when we part.

He pushes off me and climbs to his feet, his hand extended down to help me to mine.

Words are useless now, even if I could form them. The amazing love and acceptance I experience with him leaves me utterly silent.

In the dark of the bedroom, he meets me, face to face. His hands move over my body with such certainty it makes me tear up. One of his thumbs brushes an errant tear as it slides down my cheek and he kisses where the tear track ends. “No more worry, Carlo. No more doubt. No more concerns for your future. Whether you remember any more or not doesn’t matter. Who you are standing in front of me is who you are deep down and that is who I love. I know that you are mine now and forever.”

“You’re trying to make me cry,” I say with a wet laugh.

“Hormones, dude. It’s not that hard.” His hands cup my face and he lovingly looks into my eyes before drawing me into a kiss that touches my soul.

Our clothing falls away and Sako takes me down to the bed. His body covers mine like a shield. He’s eager, the hard cock pressing against my hip the only thing he needs to say. My matching erection is his answer. His hand wraps around my shaft and strokes achingly slow. It draws me up to savor as much body contact as I can get.

“I want you so much, Carlo. It’s crazy how much I crave your touch. You’re my addiction.”

Then he kisses me again and I’m so desperate to feel more from him, I whimper into his mouth. His tongue slides easily into my mouth and mine tangles with his. His hands burn a trail down my sides to cup at my hips. He drags me up into him as he grinds down and stars explode in my vision.

I tear away from the kiss with a gasp. I have no idea how bonding goes for dragons but if he doesn’t get on with it, I will go crazy.

He lifts one of my legs to drape it over his shoulder. It leaves me open and exposed when his fingers slide between my cheeks. “God, Carlo, you’re so wet. Do you need this as much as me?”

Fingers slipping in me drag a broken moan from my throat as my answer.

My other leg hooks over his shoulder and he pushes against the back of my thighs to position his cock. Letting gravity do some of the work, he flexes and his cock slides in like it was made to be there.

When he thrusts, his whole body works against mine. Energy is wild as he finds his rhythm. I’m pinned by him, unable to do anything more than hold on as he takes me with a frenzy of motion and sound.

I work my hands into his hair, closing down into tight fists to keep him drawn as far as he reach. I close the distance and drink in his moans through our kiss as the world disappears, leaving just the two of us, locked together.

He lowers my legs, letting them rest at his waist and I lock my ankles at his lower back. He is resting on top of me now, his thrusts faster and shorter. He’s close; I can tell by the way his hot breath blows across my neck. “Carlo,” he groans out.

I lift my chin and turn my head, giving him full access to my neck. He covers the spot that will draw us together in ways that defy understanding, finally sealing the bond between us. When he bites down, he thrusts hard one final time and his knot finally pushes through, locking us physically together.

My consciousness drills down to one point in time. It draws us into a life as one forever before it explodes in a rainbow array of lights and sensation. Dimly I’m aware of his cock pulsing and the soft groan that vibrates at my throat. I float on a sea of endorphins, riding the high that follows until all of reality has very little meaning.

The skin on my stomach feels hot and slick and I may even vaguely remember releasing, my come coating both of us. It’s all a cloud of sensation and emotion and feeling. Through it all, Carlo is there, his arms sliding beneath my back as he draws me close.

“Mine,” he says quietly.

I nod, dazed and pleasantly sated. “Yours.”