CHAPTER 10

 

Valerie nodded and climbed off the bed with the sheet around her feeling like a complete idiot. She didn’t even want to look at him. Her hand instinctively flew to her face for a second.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” His demeanor was unusually calm. She could only imagine the reaction she’d get if she ever called Alex by another name in bed.

“I was seeing him for a long time… and I haven’t been with anyone else since.” She looked away still trying to grasp what just happened.

She finally turned back to him. His expression turned to stone. “You were real quiet that whole night. You still have feelings for him?”

Her eyes went from the bed to the door. Maybe she could make a run for it.

“Talk to me, Valerie. You said you’d be honest.”

“I was honest.” She maintained. “I didn’t lie when I said I wasn’t seeing anyone else.”

She sat down slowly, clutching the sheet in front of her. She’d never regretted being somewhere so much in her life. The absurd thought of flying out the window crossed her mind.

“So, are you going to answer the question?” Luke sat on the edge of his side of the bed. “You still have feelings for him?”

For a second she thought about lying, and then thought better of it. She may as Well, come clean. Worst that could happen is he’d want to stop seeing her, and she actually hoped he would.

“I thought I was over him,” she whispered.

He was quiet for a moment. “I see.”

“But it’s not like I’ve done anything with him recently. It’s just taking me a lot longer than I thought to get over it.” That was putting it lightly.

“How long has it been?”

“Over a year.” She chewed her lip.

Luke grabbed a pillow and put it between him and the backboard. He made himself comfortable. “Well, looks like we have time to talk now. So tell me about it.”

Valerie couldn’t believe he actually wanted to hear about it. She shrugged, making herself a little more comfortable, and also leaned against the backboard. “I’ve known him since high school. We’d been on and off ever since. But it’s been off for good for over a year.”

“Can I ask who broke it off the last time?”

“That’s the thing.” Valerie felt ridiculous. “We’ve never actually been an official couple. He’s never been able to commit to a relationship. He always has a million things going on. School, his business, and he played college football for a while there, until he got hurt. Then he had a ton of therapy to go through. But mostly…” She frowned, unable to believe she felt like crying. “…mostly he just can’t commit. I finally accepted it and moved on. I’m just not over him yet. Apparently”

“What kind of business does he have?”

Of course that would be the thing Luke would get hung up on.

“A restaurant. It’s his family’s, but he’s taking over now, and he’s been really busy with it.” She paused, still feeling guilty. She didn’t want to say too much, but she felt he at least deserved an explanation. “My cousin Sarah is marrying his brother. I hadn’t seen him in over a year, but when I had to go the wedding shower a few weeks ago, I saw him there. I just hadn’t realized until then that…”

“Listen.” He reached across the bed and put his hand over hers. “I know what it’s like to have feelings for someone who’s not exactly reciprocating.”

“Why don’t you stay here tonight? I promise I won’t try anything.” He squeezed her hand. “I know where your heart is now, and I’ll respect that. But it’s too late and we’ve both been drinking.”

Valerie did feel tired. The effects of the wine kicked in. “But I didn’t bring anything to sleep in.” She had. But that piece of lingerie would definitely not make an appearance tonight.

Luke stood up and walked over to his dresser. Valerie felt funny seeing him in his boxer briefs. At least he wasn’t naked. He held a white t-shirt in one hand and a pair of shorts in the other. “Will this do?”

She nodded. He tossed them on the bed. “I’ll give you some privacy. Be back in a few.”

Valerie didn’t have to wait too long to find out if they’d be sleeping in the same bed. He climbed in less than fifteen minutes later. He asked if he could hold her, nothing more. Valerie said yes, and fell asleep with him spooning her. It was actually nice, and just like what happened earlier, she’d imagined he was Alex. This time it was a conscious choice. Alex’s arms were much bigger but it brought back memories of him holding her nonetheless.

 

*

 

“He was actually very understanding, which only made me feel worse. I think I would’ve felt a little better if he’d told me off.”

Isabel started laughing. “Wow. So, why’d you spend the night?”

Valerie told her the whole story as usual, not leaving a single detail out and then added, “I’m breaking things off on Monday.”

“What? Why?”

Isabel started making coffee halfway through Valerie’s story. They were both in the kitchen now, and Isabel poured two cups. She handed one to Valerie and leaned against the counter. Valerie sat on the barstool at the counter.

“I can’t keep stringing him along. Last night was just further proof that I’m in no way ready for a relationship. I’m a mess. It’s not fair to him.”

“What are you going to tell him?”

Valerie shrugged and drank some of her coffee. She wasn’t sure what she’d say. Whatever she did say, she knew Luke would try to convince her otherwise. But she was done faking it. Every kiss was so forced, and she knew it would get even worse now.

“The truth, I guess,” she said. “I’ll be gentle though, and not mention that the only time he managed to turn me on was when I was imagining he was Alex.”

Isabel smiled tilting her head. “Maybe after the wedding, when you don’t have to think about seeing Alex anymore, it’ll get easier.”

Valerie got up and started toward her room. “I hope so, Isabel. ‘Cause this sucks.”

She decided she was going to have a lazy weekend. Take a shower, read, maybe work on the painting some more. Anything to keep her mind off Alex. God, she felt pathetic.

She thought about making a date with her handy, Mr. Perfect, later that night, then thought better of it. That, if anything, would probably bring the most vivid thoughts of Alex. Well, hell, Alex was going to be the cause of yet another break up.

 

*

 

Monday came quickly, and Valerie had only one thing on her mind: breaking things off with Luke, No stalling. She needed a clean break before things got any heavier. She didn’t want to ruin their work relationship, although she knew it would be damaged.

Valerie had uptime, meaning she answered the office phone and any leads that came in were hers. The whole office rotated. Monday mornings were hers. She liked having Monday morning uptime. Anyone who had been out during the weekend looking at homes would be calling. The phones were busy, and she was glad for the distraction.

She would take another call or two before taking a break and talked to Luke. As she took the next call, she was sitting back in her chair, but the voice on the line made her sit straight up.

Valerie hung up on him. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure. The phone rang again. Either she picked it up, or someone else would. She took a deep breath and answered again.

The skin on her arms immediately prickled with goose bumps. What could he possibly say that he hadn’t already said? There was no way Valerie would be alone with this psycho. No way would she give him any more of her time. But what if he did start calling the office telling everyone about her and Luke?

Valerie squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn’t bringing Bruce into her private life. Obviously, he knew she’d spent the night but didn’t know what really happened. Still, maybe this would work to her advantage. “Yes, Bruce it was. I’m in love and finally happy. Can you respect that?”

The line went dead. Valerie took a deep breath and ran her hands over her arms. She gave it a few minutes in case the phone rang again. When it didn’t ring for a while she stood up, and leaned into the cubicle next to her as she walked by. “I’m taking a break, so go ahead and answer the main line if it rings.”

Andrew, the agent in the cubicle, nodded and gave her the thumbs up as he sipped his coffee.

She was still thinking about what Bruce said when she walked into Luke’s office. Her expression must have looked as anxious as she was feeling, because Luke immediately asked if something was wrong.

Luke leaned back in his chair and fiddled with his pen. “Don’t use me as an excuse, Valerie. I told you I’m willing to be patient.”

Valerie shifted her weight from one leg to the other, beginning to wonder why she’d gotten out of bed that morning. “Okay, I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. And to be honest, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” She gestured toward the door. “If anyone out there gets wind of us, it’s not gonna to be pretty. I think its best we just remain friends.”

Valerie wished he would just agree, so she could get out of there already. But the expression on his face said otherwise.

“I disagree. I think you are ready for a relationship, obviously not a sexual one… yet. But like I said, I’m willing to wait.” He tossed his pen on the desk. “As far as anyone finding out, how would they?”

Only because Bruce calling the office again was a definite possibility, she decided to fill him in on it. She explained briefly the latest incidents with Bruce, and the phone call she just received. Luke wasn’t happy.

“I could care less about him calling here and saying anything, but maybe you should think about getting a restraining order on the guy. He sounds dangerous.”

Valerie nodded, hoping that was the end of it. “I still think you’re making a mistake about us, Valerie. I really wish you’d reconsider.”

No way was she having this conversation again. “No, I’m sure, Luke. I’m sorry. I really think it’s best this way. I hope this doesn’t affect our business relationship. I’ll get the tickets to the seminar back to you tomorrow.”

She started toward the door, angry at herself that she’d forgot them. He’d asked her hold onto them for safekeeping. She planned to avoid any private conversations with him from here on. Giving him the tickets back would inevitably incite one. Maybe she could mail them to him.

“Keep your ticket, Val. I know how much you want to see him. It was a gift. I don’t want it back. You can have the suite too, if you want.”

Valerie turned around, his wounded tone adding to her guilt. “Thanks. I’ll get your ticket back to you, but I’ll pass on the suite. You probably still have time to cancel it.”

She packed up and headed out. From here on she’d be spending a lot of her time outside of the office, at least for a while.

 

*

 

More than week had passed since Valerie had broken things off with Luke. She managed to stay busy out of the office the whole time. After another busy day of showing properties, she was on her way home when Sarah called her.

“Good. Since Romero and Eric didn’t get to do their stupid bachelor party,” Sarah giggled, “the guys came up with something else.”

Valerie couldn’t help sniggering herself. She remembered Sarah calling her, worried about the guys planning a bachelor party in Vegas. With Angel not really being a drinker, she wasn’t sure how he would handle himself, drunk, around strippers.

Valerie had come to the rescue. She had a plan that would have Angel canceling his own party. The thought of Alex around a bunch of money-hungry whores didn’t sit well with her either. Knowing Sofia couldn’t be too thrilled about Eric taking off to Vegas and partying with a bunch of strippers, she gave her a call. Valerie made sure to clue her in and asked her to lay it on thick about Sarah’s bachelorette party when she mentioned it around Angel.

Lay it on she did. The next day Sarah called Valerie, laughing so hard Valerie could barely understand her. She told her that Angel overheared her and Sofia talking about the party, and the hot “cop” that would be making an appearance to frisk the bride-to-be. Angel had immediately taken her aside to propose canceling both parties. Sarah and Valerie still got a good laugh about it. This should be interesting. “What did they come up with?”

“Since everything has been so formal up until now, they want just friends, no older folks, no distant family members. Just a younger crowd of singles getting together casually to enjoy one of our lasts weekends being single.”

Valerie had to smile. Sarah had been far from single ever since Angel staked his claim on her in high school. But she didn’t say anything.

“I know, sweetie, but he’s Angel’s brother. We can’t not invite him. And you’re my maid of honor, Val. It just wouldn’t be the same without you. We’re not even going to be in an enclosed space. It’s going to be a bonfire at the beach, for old times.”

As much as she trusted Sarah not to tell Alex she wasn’t seeing Luke anymore, she had a feeling Sarah told Angel everything. She still needed to arm herself with at least a fake boyfriend if she had to be around Alex. The restaurant incident proved just how weak her resistance to him still was. She still didn’t trust that she wouldn’t give in if he tried to talk her into even one night with him.