(Present)

The next day, Logan doesn’t leave my side. I guess the threat level has been raised to “high” because he’s even more overprotective than he was before.

“Hey, I know you’re here to help me but I need you to look less…menacing. The center is a place where women go to feel safe. It doesn’t help if they see an eight-foot-tall guy scowling as they enter,” I whisper as I pull him to the side.

“Leave him alone, he’s exactly what women need when they enter this place, a nice piece of hard candy,” Kay says as she enters the center, and the two of them share a laugh at my expense.

“Very funny. Logan, look less…Logan-like,” I counter as I take Kat into my office and update her.

“So now you are being hunted by even more people, that’s just great. And you don’t want to leave town? Does that mean you don’t trust me to run things?” she asks as she places her purse down and sits across from me.

“No, that’s not it at all. Kat, I owe this to Joanne, I can’t bail on her.”

“Then just come back for the trial.”

“The planning stage of the awards ceremony is nowhere near completed. There’s too much work for any one person to do alone. Everything is fine, okay? It’s all under control and if something goes wrong, I promise both you and Logan that I will be on the first thing moving out of town. Okay?”

“Fine, but for the record, this is the kind of shit only white people do. If I were in danger my black ass would have been on the other side of the world by now,” she teases.

“So now I’m the white girl who runs into the forest to investigate something odd?” I laugh.

“Yup and you’re also the dumb blonde chick who goes down to the basement to investigate an odd sound you hear. You know that girl never comes back up from the basement, right?” Kat replies, raising her eyebrows.

“Well, that girl didn’t have a wonderful black girl best friend who would beat the crap out of him with her shoe,” I reply.

“That’s right, you know I got you.” She smiles. Her expression slowly changes from lighthearted to concerned.

“Kat, stop that. Tell me about last night, were you able to get anywhere with that husband of yours?” I ask as we start to tackle the pile of paperwork about the award show.

“He didn’t want to take the quizzes but I pushed it on him and well, let’s just say we didn’t do so well on them. It turns out from one to ten, we have a romance score of negative twenty,” she says.

“Wow, that’s not good.”

“Exactly. Last week I bought some fantasy roleplaying stuff online. I thought maybe we could use it and then finally spice things up.”

“Sam wasn’t into it?”

“Well, he agreed. I think he did it because he could tell I wasn’t about to drop the subject.”

“Smart man,” I reply. Knowing Kat as well as I do, she would have nagged him to death.

“When I got the box in the mail, I didn’t have a chance to open it. So last night, I go into the closet and unseal it and they sent me the wrong item. I ordered the ‘bad girl stripper’ package but instead they sent me the ‘prison inmate and guard’ package.”

“Oh, that’s sucks but couldn’t you use that one instead?”

She has a good laugh at me. “Shay, never in the history of the world has a black man agreed to fantasy that involves handcuffs. Never. That shit is just way too real. I want to turn him on, not traumatize him.”

“Okay, I get it. Were you able to salvage the night?”

“I was about to give up but as we went to bed, I sent him a sexy text. I told him some dirty things that were on my mind and asked what was on his mind.”

“Nice! Did he text you back?”

“He sent me a link to a place that can lower our monthly mortgage.”

“What?”

“I asked him what was on his mind and that was it.”

“I’m sorry, Kat.”

“Well on the bright side I think we’re gonna refinance and save some money down the line,” she says as she takes a banana out of her purse, peels it, and eats it. I suppress a smile as she wistfully deep throats the poor, helpless, innocent banana.

“I feel so bad, how can I help?” I ask.

“You can tell me that things are going much better with you and Logan. You can tell me that you two hooked up and that the Four Seasons is going to send you a bill for the heel prints you left on the ceiling.” We laugh at the thought and she waits for a reply. I update her, and she’s not happy.

“Stop looking at me like that, Kat.”

“Like what?”

“Like I just stole coins out of some homeless blind guy’s cup.”

“Oh you mean stop giving you the look of shame? Well I can’t do that because I am ashamed that you have waited this long to come clean with Logan. And let's be honest, he has been more than patient with you, now hasn’t he?”

“Yes, he has.”

“It’s not just him that’s been good to you, it’s his family. Logan isn’t the only one you walked away from. The Hunter family loved you, they still do. But I don’t know how long that’s going to last when you keep hiding the truth from Logan.”

As Kat scolds me, the memories come rushing back…

***

Shay (Three years ago)

I’m sitting in the car beside Logan, waiting for the nerve to step out and greet his family for the first time. I check myself in the mirror of my compact for the millionth time. Am I wearing too much makeup or not enough? I brought her flowers but I’m not sure if I brought the right kind.

“Is this dress okay? Shit, I should have gone with the other one,” I whine.

“Shay, you have been looking at your reflection for an hour now, you look perfect,” he says.

“You’re just saying that to get me out of the car,” I reply as I look at myself once again.

“No, I’m saying it because it’s true and because I’m hungry and we are two yards away from food but my crazy-ass fiancée is keeping me from it.”

“I have to look perfect! I’m going to see your family for the first time and there’s also the fact that they live in a fucking palace.”

“It’s just a home like any other home,” he lies.

“You have columns. That alone means you are all loaded. Are they okay with the fact that I don’t come from money?” I ask.

“Wait, you don’t?! Well then, it’s over for us. Nice knowing you,” he says. I punch him hard in the chest. Well, I try to but I’m sure it has no real impact once it lands.

“Shay, you are amazing. They will love you the same way I love you. Now, if you really want to make a good impression, maybe try not making them wait to meet you,” he teases.

“Shit! Okay, let’s go,” I reply as I hustle out of the car. I see Logan from the corner of my eye, laughing at me. I make a mental note to kill him when we get back home. We enter the house and I find high ceilings, a lavish floor plan, and artwork taken from all around the world. Damn. They have more money than Logan let on. All of a sudden I’m wishing I had splurged and gotten the Kate Spade purse I wanted that matched my dress. Yes, I would have spent the next year paying for it but at least I would look like I fit in.

Soon I spot a graceful, gorgeous woman with porcelain skin and a radiant smile coming down the curved grand staircase.

“Shay! It’s so good to meet you!” she says as she makes her way to the landing. I extend my hand but she rejects it. “Oh please, you’re family. Give me a hug,” she says as she embraces me.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” I reply, caught off guard. I’m not sure what perfume she’s wearing but it’s expensive. I know because it’s subtle and yet memorable.

“Mom, this is Shay, and Shay, this is the mean old lady I lived with for way too long,” Logan teases. My jaw drops and I jab my elbow into Logan’s ribs. He pretends like it hurts.

“Shay, don’t worry about the monster beside you. He looks like my son Logan but Logan calls and checks in on his mother, so this guy can’t be him,” Mrs. Hunter says dramatically.

“Hi, Mom,” Logan says, rolling his eyes, amused.

“Oh, it is you,” she says as if she couldn’t care less that he was there to see her. I can tell it’s all an act. Logan pulls her in for a loving embrace.

“Fine, fine, I see you. There, happy? I didn’t come down all these damn steps to talk to you. I came to see the woman that doesn’t have enough sense to break it off with you,” she jokes.

“Hey, she knows what she’s got,” Logan says.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m wondering why she isn’t running away screaming. Come here, child, we need to talk. I have four other sons. Are you sure you want to settle for that one?” She laughs.

“Well, I just broke him in, so I don’t want all that work to go to waste,” I reply.

Then four of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen enter from one of the hallways. They range from early thirties to early forties, all tall, dark, and ridiculously hot.

We do the intros and I whisper to Logan, “So if we don’t work out, I know where to go for my backup.”

He playfully glares at me. “Trust me, you got the best brother,” he says. We walk into a large, stunning dining room that is all set up for dinner. There, I meet a handsome tower of a man who has the same eyes as Logan.

“You must be Mr. Hunter,” I reply.

“And you must be the reason why my son has abandoned all the bars in New York. How did you do it, young lady?” he asks. I blush and he embraces me.

“I’ve heard so many nice things about you all. It’s good to finally meet you,” I reply. I hear someone scream as she enters the dining room.

“Miracle, hi!” Shelby says as she hugs me.

“You met Shelby before?” Logan’s father says.

“Yeah, we met a while back,” I reply.

“And you still didn’t dump Logan? Wow, this must be love,” Logan’s little brother Wyatt says.

“Hey, stop bothering Shay, she’s still recuperating from her weekend away with Logan,” Shelby says.

“Oh yes, please take a seat, Shay, and tell us about your weekend at the cabin,” Mrs. Hunter asks.

Before I can reply, Shelby replies for me, “Her weekend was…life changing. In fact, I don’t think our dear Shay will ever be the same again,” Shelby teases.

“Does she know that we had sex?” I whisper into Logan’s ear.

“Probably,” he says.

“How the fuck does she know that?”

“The same way animals howl when evil is near in horror movies. Like I said, she made a pact with the devil,” he says.

“Don’t listen to Shelby. She’s always in everyone’s business,” Wyatt says.

“I’m starving, enough talk, where’s the food?” Logan says.

“First tell us your news,” Mr. Hunter says.

Logan studies his father’s expression carefully and then shakes his head. “You already know, don’t you?” Logan says.

“That you two are getting married? Naturally,” Shelby says.

Note to self: check the back of Shelby’s skull for the sign of “666” mark.

“Oh, c’mon Logan, your brothers are FBI, DEA, Homicide…did you think they wouldn’t put it together?” his mom asks.

“Fine but this is why I don’t bother saying things if you all are going to play detective and guess,” Logan replies.

“One thing we couldn’t guess was what would happen when your mother and I left you and your brothers alone for the weekend in Logan’s freshmen year,” Mr. Hunter says.

“Oh c’mon, that was a million years ago,” Logan replies; soon all the brothers start talking at once.

“Okay, okay, someone tell me what happened,” I ask.

“We spent good money putting the boys in Catholic school thinking they would lean how to behave, and well, we were wrong,” his mom says.

Logan cuts her off. “Shay, all you need to know is that the sorority girls were reunited with their clothes, the Bronx Zoo didn’t file any charges, and eventually Father Walker’s hair grew back.” Everyone around the table laughs and the night flies by, thanks to the silly stories, amazing food, and great company.

I thought they would make a big deal out of Logan’s fast proposal but they didn’t. Everyone seems on board and now I feel silly for worrying. Towards the end of dinner, while the guys talk shop, Mrs. Hunter takes me out back to her garden.

“Please, have a seat and we’ll have us a good stiff drink,” she says. She guides me over to the small, neatly arranged table. There’s a crystal decanter filled with whiskey, along with two glasses placed at the center of the table.

“Thank you,” I reply as she takes a seat across from me.

“How is it?” she asks.

“It’s really good. I’m kind of a whiskey person,” I admit.

“Yes, I know.”

“Did Logan tell you?”

“No, my sons rarely fill me in at first. It takes time. I know because, well, I know a fair amount about the women my boys are in love with. They play around, but when they bring up a woman by name, to me, I know it’s serious. And your name came to me rather quickly.”

“Oh, is that good or bad?” I dare ask.

“I looked into you. Don’t be upset, I do it with all the women that my sons fall for. Granted, it’s not often they fall in love but when they do, I have to make sure that they aren’t getting in over their heads.”

“I think Logan can handle it.”

“Logan can handle most things but he’s a man. Men can be rather…singularly focused. Women, on the other hand, we see the whole picture.”

“Okay,” I reply as my stomach knots up. “What do you see when you look at me?” I ask.

“You never knew your father. Your stepfather abused your mother, she took it for a number of years until you had enough and had him jailed for raping her. You have no real money to speak of and you have over fifty thousand dollars in debt thanks to your school loans,” she says evenly. My heart is racing and the whiskey I sipped has turned sour in the pit of my stomach. She hates me. She thinks I’m after her family’s money. I need to go. Now.

I stand up. “Thank you for dinner but I think it’s time for me to—”

She cuts me off by placing her hand in the air. “Sit down, young lady. We are not done.” I grit my teeth and sit down, not wanting to be rude to Logan’s mom, although she’s sure going out of her way to be nasty to me.

“You think I said what I said to insult you but that is not the case. It’s quite the opposite. All of the things I’ve said about you are reasons that let me know you are perfect for my son. You watched your mother being hurt and you stood up for her. That is something my son would do.

“You went to court and testified against the man even though I’m sure you were terrified. That shows courage; anyone who wants to be in this family will need a lot of that.

“My boys face danger day in and day out, they don’t need to come home to pretty little wallflowers that crumble at the first sign of danger.

Although your mother is an alcoholic, you manage to drink and yet have self-control by not overdoing it. And I’d much rather you be in debt because of your desire to learn as opposed to your desire for shoes. Don’t get me wrong, my love for footwear is very real, but it isn’t reason to go into debt like a lot of these young ladies.”

“So you had me checked out completely?”

“Oh yes, it’s necessary in this day and age. And what I want you to know is that you can relax. You’re family now. And given how big your heart is and how protective you are of those women who come into the police station, you and Logan are a great match. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter-in-law.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do. Listen, dear, Logan puts up a brave face but his sister’s death was so painful, there were times I told my husband, ‘Joe, we might not get Logan back. He has started to drift away in the abyss.’ And I can’t blame him. I did too. But I have Joe and Logan had no one in his life that he cared about, he had no reason to fight to come back to the world of the living.”

“He’s told me a few things about Rose, but it’s not an easy subject for him,” I admit.

“No, it’s not. Logan had a hard time dealing. He hated the smell of hospitals, all the meds Rose had to take, and he detested watching her grow weaker and weaker. Sometimes he’d take off for days because he just couldn’t deal. He would try to hide his pain by doing reckless things at work. He’d take crazy chances and nearly got himself killed a few times.

“As hard as it was to watch my Rose dying, there were times it was harder to watch Logan. Rose had shown physical symptoms that let you know she was in pain but Logan, he looked fine on the outside but on the inside, his heart was caving in. A few days before she died, Rose said to me, ‘When Logan comes to my room and I look in his eyes, it’s like I’m looking at my own reflection. He and I are the same; we’re both dying.’”

My heart sinks as she speaks. She looks off into the distance, no doubt remembering her daughter. But Rose isn’t the only thing on her mind. She looks over my shoulder, into the dining room just beyond the garden. All of her sons are talking and joking around but her gaze is fixed on Logan. I place my hand over hers.

“Logan went through something horrific, you all did. But it’s over and things are getting better. Logan is happy now.”

She smiles as she watches him and then brings her eyes back to me. “He is very happy, isn’t he?”

“Yes, very much,” I assure her.

“And that’s thanks to you. He looks at you the same way my husband looks at me. He stumbled his way out of the darkness and he found you. You are his light now. You don’t know how good it makes a mother feel to watch her son come back to life. Thank you.”

***

It’s a few days later and things are hectic. Logan and I have not had time together but luckily he sends me a text about date night that makes me smile.

“I’m bringing Ruby burgers home. We eat at 8. And you are naked by 8:15. Deal?” he texts.

“Deal,” I reply.

All I have to do is run one more errand and then I am headed home to put on something silky that Logan can slide off of me. I make my way downtown and enter a small tastefully decorated waiting room. Thankfully, I don’t need to wait long since I have an appointment. The receptionist calls my name and I enter the office. Did I mention that I have insurance and I’m pretty cool? Okay, just checking.

“Ms. Reed, thank you for coming in,” Dr. Bergin says as he signals for me to sit down.

“Sure, I know what this is about—my iron is a little low. I’ve been told that before and I keep meaning to take the iron pills but I forget all the time. Don’t worry, I will get better at it,” I vow, anxious to go home and get ready for date night. I’m glad I went to get a checkup, but I wish I had rescheduled the follow-up visit to next week.

“Your iron is a little low,” the doctor says. I jump up and vow to start taking the over-the-counter pills I have at home.

“Ms. Reed, that’s not why we called you back in,” he says sadly.

“Oh, okay,” I reply, not sure where he’s going. “Then why am I here?”

“It’s rare in women your age but it can happen and I’m afraid this is one of those times,” he says.

“Doctor, please stop beating around the bush and tell me why you called me down here.”

“Ms. Reed, you have breast cancer. It’s advanced and it has spread…”