Chapter 29
Later, back in Colin’s bedroom, Hernán paced around like a jungle cat in a cage. His eyes flickered from surface to surface and he couldn’t seem to figure out where to rest his hands. When he saw Colin watching him, he winced.
“I don’t know what to do, Colin,” he confessed. “I’ve brought this evil to your door, and I can’t make it better.”
“You didn’t cause this. Ethan did, when he sent that picture to the paper.” The urge to scream at Ethan nearly overwhelmed Colin, but it would only tell Ethan he’d scored a blow. “Look, I’ll call the security guy about P-town, and then there’s really nothing more for us to do tonight. Why don’t you change and get comfortable? I’ll do the same in a minute. We’ll watch some TV, have a snack sent up if you want, and get to bed. Okay?”
Hernán chewed his lip but finally gave a sharp nod. Twenty minutes later, after Colin had talked to a man from the security company, they settled onto the sofa in Colin’s room together.
Television wasn’t working to distract Hernán, and fooling around didn’t seem likely. His restlessness began to weigh, and it frustrated Colin that he couldn’t help him relax.
Colin used his iPad to check the weather for the following morning and prepare for an early flight. When that was done, and with nothing further to distract him, his anger at Ethan began to grow. How could someone who ever called himself Colin’s friend do something like that? Even if Ethan didn’t know the magnitude of what he’d put at risk, there was no question he’d been aiming to hurt.
Was the nastiness directed more at Colin or at Hernán? That was difficult to say. Colin had no reason to believe Ethan carried a torch for him, after their one abortive date something like a year and a half earlier. Maybe it was intended to induce Colin’s family to step in and break them up, as a way to free Hernán for a pass from Ethan? That was equally absurd. He turned it over and over in his mind, his rage mounting, but he could find no reason for Ethan’s action beyond spite.
In the quiet house, he also began to wonder how much of their panic was legitimate. He and the others had jumped to address Hernán’s fear, but was it spiraling out of control? For fuck’s sake, they had security watching his condo.
That was probably why, when Hernán said, “I’m going crazy in this room,” Colin snapped back.
“Nán, we’re all doing the best we can.” He heard the frustration in his own voice.
So did Hernán. His eyes narrowed. “I know that, Colin. But all your father’s men can’t protect every possible person Cuernos could go after.”
Colin threw up his hands as his frustration found a new target. “Despite the name, they aren’t really devils. They’re just hoodlums. Yes, there’s a lot of them. Yes, they can be dangerous like a rabid dog. But they aren’t some vast underground army, Hernán. You’re one person that a few gangbangers attacked in El Salvador. Why are you so sure they would want to hunt you down in the States?”
A wounded look appeared in Hernán’s eyes. “They killed that police officer after I identified two of them, and they said they were coming after me. How can I know how far they’ll go? Wait,” Hernán added heatedly. “You don’t believe me. You say you want to help me, but that’s because you don’t think there’s any real danger.”
Colin wondered abstractedly if he were right. Was he only going along to play on Hernán’s insecurities?
He rejected the idea. He might suspect Hernán’s fears were slightly irrational, but no way was he trying to manipulate Hernán. He barked back, “That isn’t true. I’ve done everything I possibly can to help you work toward getting asylum.”
Hernán’s voice rose, and a flush came to his cheeks. “Why, if you don’t believe me? Why go through all of this shit?”
“Because I want you, Hernán. I want you in my life and I want you to be safe from deportation.”
Hernán sneered. “You want to own me, you mean. Maybe you’re more like Gerald Nimble than you can admit. House me, clothe me, give me an allowance, give me a job to do. It sounds just like what Gerald did with Rudy, until he got tired of him and kicked him out.”
Colin sucked in a strained breath. “That isn’t fair. And it isn’t true. I’ve done everything I know how to give you independence. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to stay with me, or to feel trapped.”
“Yet here I am, in a fancy cage in New Jersey because of your friend and your rich father and—”
“Stop it, Hernán,” Colin pleaded. “Yes, Ethan did this, but leave my father out of it. He’s only trying to help us.”
Hernán lapsed into Spanish as he stalked around the room. <<Protect you, maybe. Who am I? An undocumented immigrant with no money. Someone to take pity on, to feel sorry for because I was stabbed and raped. Who are you? A rich boy with no real responsibilities and nothing to fear in this world.>>
Colin’s anger collapsed into stunned pain. “What?” he stammered. “Do you really believe all that?”
Hernán stopped his pacing and whirled. His mouth was open to speak until he looked in Colin’s face. The color in his cheeks drained away, leaving him chalky. He dropped to his knees before Colin. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just lashed out. I know none of this is your fault.”
Colin blinked at him. He finally croaked out, “I understand your fears. If I’ve done something to make you feel trapped, please talk to me about it. I swear I don’t mean to do that. But it hurt, what you said.”
Hernán dropped his forehead on Colin’s knees. “I don’t really think that you’re controlling me. I’m just so scared.”
Tentatively, Colin lifted a hand to stroke Hernán’s black hair. Part of him wanted to brush away the fight and the ugly words as spurred by stress.
Part of him worried that was what Hernán truly believed, deep down.
And if it was, what kind of future could they have together?
The night was long. Hernán was too tense over the argument with Colin, too fearful his new life was about to crash around him, to rest. Where had all that ugliness come from? Of course Colin and his family were doing everything they could. And maybe he was overreacting. Maybe it was just his ego that made him believe Cuernos would come after him, thousands of miles away from El Salvador.
The things he’d blurted out in anger, though… Those were things he wasn’t consciously aware he still feared. He thought he’d overcome his concerns that Colin was like Gerald and would throw him away if things got messy.
Apparently not.
He could tell from Colin’s stillness that he was awake too, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He wanted to be held, but not after the way he’d lashed out. He wanted to wrap Colin in his arms to keep him safe, yet send him away before Cuernos tracked him down. No harm could come to his sweet, naïve man.
Eventually he must have fallen into a doze, because he woke with a start when Colin’s cell chirped. Confused and still half-asleep, he registered light showing around the edges of the drawn curtains in the bedroom. The clock on the nightstand read six-fifteen.
“Hello?” Colin said into his phone. He sat up in bed. When he caught Hernán’s eye, he mouthed, “It’s security.”
Colin listened intently for a few moments, eyebrows furrowing. In a strained voice, he said, “I understand. Thanks. We’re set to leave around seven this morning. The driver will take us to Teterboro to get my plane.”
When Colin disconnected, he turned to Hernán, the concern in his face alarming. “That was the detail chief. He heard from the people who are watching the DC condo. They reported two other men also watching the building. At one point these men used the intercom but apparently got no answer. Then, early this morning, they tried to follow a couple into the building. The front desk receptionist made a scene and they backed off. They didn’t leave the area though. One of the security guys walked around the block as an excuse to get a closer look.”
Colin paused. “He said the men both had a tattoo on their faces. Horns.”
Hernán’s blood ran cold. “Cuernos del Diablo,” he said, and Colin nodded.
He pushed himself up in bed to rest his back against the headboard, aware he’d broken out in a cold sweat. His knees seemed to be trembling. He didn’t know if the room had gotten loud or if he was deafened by the rush of blood in his ears. Cuernos. They really had come looking for him.
Colin shifted closer to take Hernán’s trembling hands. “I think you were right, Hernán. I’m sorry if I didn’t take your concerns seriously.”
Hernán shook his head slowly. “No, what I said last night wasn’t true. It’s just…” The despair creeping through his bones echoed in his voice. But he couldn’t give in to it. His fears had already made him hurt the very man trying to help him. He had to be stronger, for both their sakes.
Colin started to get up from the bed, but he put a hand out to stop him. “Cariño, I’m not sure anymore going to Provincetown together is a good idea. You should get away from me. I’ll go somewhere far so Cuernos comes after me and leaves you alone.”
Colin dropped back down and pulled Hernán to him. Chin on the top of Hernán’s head, he said fiercely, “I’m not going anywhere without you. What brought this on?”
Hernán wanted to let Colin hold him forever. He felt loved in Colin’s arms. All the selfish things he’d ever wanted were right there. Instead, he pulled away. Brushing his eyes, fighting the tightness in his throat that threatened to become a sob, he said intently, “They came to your fucking home, Colin. I did that to you. I put you in danger. If someone hurt you, I couldn’t live with myself. It’s better if you get away from me now.”
Colin shook his head slowly. “Oh Nán. That just isn’t going to happen.” He peered into Hernán’s eyes and gave a small, rueful smile. “You’d have to make me believe that you don’t love me before I’d leave, and you aren’t that good an actor.”
“I want you to go because I do love you,” Hernán pleaded.
“I get that. The answer is no. So now what?”
Hernán stared at Colin, his frustration and fear battling in his gut. He wanted to say terrible things to drive Colin away, even if it would break both of their hearts. He wanted to put Colin in a box and lock him away where Cuernos could never find him. He wanted Colin to save himself.
But none of that would work. Colin was right—Hernán couldn’t intentionally hurt him.
The minutes ticked by before he surrendered. He tried to sound resolved. “Okay, we stick to the plan. There’s no indication anyone has tracked us to New Jersey, right? Let’s get up, get dressed, and fly to P-town. We’ll lie low there and figure out the next move while we wrap up my asylum application.”
Colin rose from the bed and tugged until Hernán stood as well. “Good. I know we haven’t solved anything yet, but we’re taking steps. Right?”
Hernán nodded and said, “We should let everyone know, about the Cuernos members in DC. I’ll call Rudy while you call David. And then let’s get cleaned up and out of here.” Hernán said it brazenly, his determination to pretend to be a warrior becoming easier with each word. A steely glint echoed in Colin’s eye, easing more of Hernán’s worries.
As scared as he was, it wasn’t like San Marcos. He wasn’t alone.
Colin phoned his security contact when they were ready to leave. “Got it,” he said, and then turned to Hernán. “Apparently there are press folks milling around Teterboro. Maybe it’s for us, maybe someone famous. Security wants me to have Watkins load the bags plane-side, and us to stay inside the limo until we’re ready to go. Then we’ll climb into the plane quickly before anyone takes note.”
Hernán felt a shiver down his spine. How had his life brought him to such desperation he needed a security guard? The reality of the situation shook his fleeting bravery.
Breathing out his fears and anxieties on a sigh, Hernán picked up his bag and took Colin’s hand. With a lightness he didn’t feel, he asked, “Does this flight to Provincetown serve breakfast?”
Colin managed a grin for him. “As a matter of fact, it does. Watkins will have coffee and bagels for us to take on the plane.”
The escape from New Jersey went smoothly. Just twenty minutes after Colin hugged his mother and father goodbye—and they in turn hugged Hernán—he watched from the back of the car as Watkins loaded their bags into Colin’s plane.
On the cell, the detail head was saying to Colin, “My colleagues are on their way out from Boston. They should arrive in Provincetown not long after you get in. I’ll text you their contact information so you can get in touch directly.”
Seated in the cockpit, Colin carefully but quickly completed his preflight inspection, and then called Jane and Sara to give an estimated time of arrival. Shortly after, they were underway. Due to prevailing winds, Colin explained, they departed to the south.
The small plane climbed out of Teterboro and began a bank that would bring it around to head northeast. The Hudson River and Manhattan glistened out Hernán’s window. Early morning sun shone in a bright blue fall sky, casting shadows of the skyscrapers across Central Park and the Upper West Side. He put his fingers on the glass, eating up the New York landmarks and monuments with his eyes.
“This view is amazing,” he whispered.
“We’ll come back to see it from the ground together, one day soon,” Colin vowed through his headset.
They ate their bagels as they soared over Long Island Sound and crossed into Connecticut. Colin explained their flight plan to Hernán using his iPad. It was clearly a gambit to distract Hernán but he went along with it.
The app fascinated him, with aviation maps he could expand and contract with his fingertips. Hernán made a game out of it, calling out landmarks and points of interest he found on the screen to see if Colin could locate them in real life.
They flew over Block Island, and then eventually fabled places like Newport, Rhode Island. Colin brought the plane low enough that the shape of huge mansions along the water showed clearly in the morning light.
“We’ll have to go see those too, sometime,” Colin said. “The cottages from the Gilded Age are astonishing.”
“They look smaller than your parents’ house,” Hernán said with a smile, praying all the while there would indeed be time for them to do things like that.
Not long after, they flew over Narragansett Bay, and on into Massachusetts airspace. Then Cape Cod Bay opened before them. Its sapphire-blue waters, touched with whitecaps, brought Hernán’s heart into his throat.
“It’s so beautiful,” he said.
“Look there.” Colin pointed to the sweep of land along the horizon to the right of the plane’s track. “That’s all Cape Cod, wrapping around. And up ahead…” he gestured, “you can see the Pilgrim Monument. That’s Provincetown.”
Colin brought the plane lower and lower as he prepared for landing, until Hernán could see the details of fishing boats trawling across the waves of the bay. A spiral of seagulls glinting in the morning sun caught his eye. He gasped when a whale breached the waves before submerging again with a flip of its broad tail.
“Did you see that?” he said excitedly to Colin. “It was a minke whale. Rudy talked me into a whale watching cruise this summer, and we saw pods of them then.”
“Maybe it’s a good omen.”
Into his radio, Colin said, “Provincetown traffic, Seven Alpha Victor, three miles out on long final to runway seven.”
The plane continued its descent, gliding toward a sandy beach and a runway that cut through the dunes. Hernán couldn’t help tensing as Colin brought the plane in, flying a few feet above the ground until he gently, gently touched down. The slightest squeal of rubber, the slightest lurch, and the plane slowed. It turned off of the runway in order to taxi to the parking area.
“Provincetown traffic, Seven Alpha Victor, clear of the active runway seven,” Colin radioed. He turned to Hernán. “You looked nervous. Did I scare you?”
“Oh no,” Hernán said quickly. “It’s just that sensation of waiting to connect with the earth again that made me feel funny.”
“I hear you,” Colin said. “The winds are calm so we had an easy landing.”
“Well, I’d still give Air Felton a perfect review on Yelp.”
Colin brought the plane to an area where three others sat parked. Several large Ts had been painted on the ground, with coils of white rope at each point. Deftly, he positioned the plane over one of the Ts and shut everything down.
Hernán helped Colin secure the plane. Together they ran the coils of rope through three wing eyelets, installed foam plugs in the cowling, and locked the doors. Beyond a gate leading from the tarmac, Jane waited for them next to a tan Lexus. Her white hair glinted in the strong morning sunshine. She pulled Hernán into a hug, and then kissed Colin’s cheek.
“It’s good to see you both again,” Jane said. “David didn’t tell me what was up but he said you need to lay low here for a while. Did you have breakfast?”
They assured her they had as they climbed into her car, Colin in the passenger seat and Hernán in the back. Jane drove out of the parking lot and into town along Race Point Road. “I’ll take you right to the house then. Are you able to tell me what’s up? Maybe I can help.”
Hernán glanced at Colin before he responded, but he trusted Jane and Sara implicitly. They’d been nothing but kind to him and Rudy all summer. He said, “This has to stay between us and Sara, but I think I’m being hunted by members of the Cuernos del Diablo gang.”
“Oh no,” Jane said worriedly. Her eyes met Hernán’s in the rearview mirror. “I’ve read such awful things about them. Why would they be after you?”
“I’m not completely sure,” Hernán admitted. “I was stabbed when I was in El Salvador, and I spoke to the police at the time. It may be that some of them think I’ll come back to testify against them.”
Colin spoke up. “Did you see that gossip item on us that went viral? Well, after that, two men apparently tried to get into my condo building. They had the Cuernos gang symbol tattooed on their faces.”
Jane nodded slowly. “Is that why you came to stay in David and Brandon’s house? You’re unlikely to be followed here?”
“Exactly,” Colin said. “My family has a place in Nantucket but I haven’t spent much time in P-town. There’s less reason to think anyone would look for us here.”
“You know, I met your parents once. Your mother chaired a gala a few years back,” Jane said. “I didn’t realize you were related to Margaret when we met before. Anyway, it’s a good time to be here. The tourists are pretty much gone, though we still get a smattering on a nice weekend. Many of the part-time owners come out for Thanksgiving, but that’s weeks away. Hopefully this will all be resolved before then.”
Hernán looked out the window. The truth was, he had no idea how the mess would get resolved. He and Colin couldn’t hide indefinitely. Colin had a life and a job he cared about. Family. Friends. It wasn’t like they could just run and run, a step ahead of Cuernos.
“Sara picked up some groceries for you last night, after David called,” Jane was saying. “Many of the restaurants have closed down for the season already.” She looked in the mirror again at Hernán. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Rudy around. Did he go off-Cape for the winter?”
Hernán shook his head. “No. Well, at least not yet. He told me he’s been over to Boston to look for work, but he hasn’t given up his place here.”
Jane turned the SUV off Commercial and headed up Pleasant Street before pulling into a gravel drive next to a yellow house. Hernán had walked by that captain’s cottage many times. Its front garden in the summer was charming and inviting. Tall grasses surrounded a flag patio, on which stood a teak dining table and chairs. The butter-yellow of the house repeated in the picket fence that surrounded the property, while a shake-shingle roof gave a romantic feel to the cottage.
Colin had obviously been there before, but Hernán looked over the house in wonder. He’d often thought about the homes he passed as he walked through town, and imagined what they were like inside. Other than Jane and Sara’s house and the ones he cleaned, he hadn’t actually been inside very many.
Entering the cottage on Pleasant Street was a fantasy fulfilled in some ways. Wide plank floors, a ceiling with exposed wooden beams, a living room with a fireplace… Hernán followed Jane through with his head on a swivel to take in everything. It was all so different from the interior of a Salvadoran house. After the grandeur of the Feltons’ castle, it was also cozy and comforting.
Colin said to Jane, “Why don’t you give Hernán a tour? I’ll take our bags upstairs. Do you know where David wants us to sleep?”
“He said you should take the master,” Jane replied. “David and Brandon aren’t planning to be up until Thanksgiving and he wants you to be comfortable. A cleaning service comes in to change the beds and all, so just settle in and relax.”
Hernán watched Colin disappear up the staircase, and then followed Jane through the dining room and to the kitchen. She showed him a bathroom with shower, down a hall that led to a rear door opening on a patio. Evergreens surrounded a hot tub and created a private nook sheltered from street view.
“I think Colin probably knows how to use that if you want to get in,” Jane commented. “I love getting in a hot tub on a clear, cold starry night and running back inside to a warm fire.” She put an arm around Hernán’s shoulder. “The last time I saw you two I thought you were just friends. It looks like something a little more has happened. Am I right?”
Hernán blushed and nodded. “Yes, we’re together now. Colin is wonderful to me. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” He blinked at her. “I didn’t think you knew I was gay, though. I never admitted it to anyone but Rudy.”
Jane smiled back kindly. “It’s in the eyes. I could see who you looked at. I figured you’d talk about it if you wanted to.” She laughed. “But now I owe my wife twenty dollars. Sara bet me there was something developing between the two of you.”
Colin joined them in the kitchen. “All squared away. I’ll show you the upstairs if you want, Hernán.”
Jane glanced at her watch. “I have to get going. I’m showing a few houses to a nice doctor and his boyfriend today.” She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and set it on the counter. “These are the numbers for my cell and for Sara’s, and the password for the wifi. Let us know if you need anything. Sara wants you to come over for dinner tonight if that’s all right with you.”
After sharing a glance with Colin, Hernán nodded.
“Wonderful. Six o’clock, don’t bring anything. Oh, Colin, Brandon wants you to give him a call.”
Colin sighed. “I figured that was coming. Okay, I’ll check in later.”
Left alone, Colin took Hernán’s hand and guided him upstairs to show the three bedrooms and full bath. Their bags sat on the bed in the largest room. Through a window on one wall, Hernán glimpsed the harbor.
“I feel a little funny using David and Brandon’s bed,” Colin said, “but it is the best room.”
Hernán looked around the space. “It’s really cozy,” he said. “I like it.”
Colin’s phone trilled in his pocket. He read the message, and then said, “The new security detail is on its way.” He typed a response. “There. I sent them the address. We should probably call David to check in.”
Returning to the kitchen, they used the speaker function on Colin’s phone to talk to the lawyers. David reported the Post was killing the story about Colin and Hernán, though it was probably too late to do much good.
Sofia said, “I just got comments back from David on the draft of your papers, Hernán. I’ll get these turned around this morning and I should have them for your review early this afternoon.”
“Thank you,” Hernán said fervently. “I hate how this is taking up so much time for you both.”
David said, “Please, don’t worry about that. We’re here for you.”
Hernán sighed gratefully. “I can’t tell you how good that feels. I’m grateful I’m not alone in this.”
Colin squeezed his shoulder.