Hell’s bells.
This woman still had the ability to climb under my skin and shake me up unlike anyone ever had. Over the years, I told myself it was a fluke. A teenage thing. Hormones. That’s why it never happened again.
I was twenty-six now.
It was happening right now. And it was Bells who stood in front of me.
Fuuuck.
I’d learned something since sitting in this room with her. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I never knew what that meant. Actually, I thought it was a stupid saying people liked to spout to make themselves sound wise and shit.
I had no interest in sounding wise, but now I understood.
We were both so different. I could tell by the haunted look in her eyes. The way she practically vibrated with the desire to run. The way she stayed.
As a teenager, Bellamy was trouble.
As an adult, Bellamy was in trouble.
It had to be bad for her to come here. She was still bitter and pissed off about eight years ago. Something I actually was baffled by. I couldn’t push the issue, not right now anyway. If I did, she’d bolt.
I couldn’t let that happen.
Where was her dad? Her mom? Why was she alone, starving, and with one measly bag of shit to her name?
Timid movement across the room drew my eye. I saw her hesitating in the bathroom door, almost as if she were dancing around, not wanting to come out.
“Get out here,” I said. “Your food is getting cold.”
She made a little sound, and I smiled. It was short-lived, however, because she stepped out wearing my T-shirt.
It was like someone killed me, then restarted my heart.
My hands slapped down on the arms of the chair and squeezed.
Holy shit. Desire and need slammed into me so hard and fast black spots swam before my eyes. I’d never wanted anyone or anything as bad as I did in that moment.
She came out, nearly tiptoeing, her bare feet soundless on the carpet. I watched her tug at it as if it weren’t modest enough. But it was. It hung nearly to her knees. The neckline was a little big and exposed the delicate arch of her neck and the creaminess of her collarbones.
She’d pulled up her damp hair, tying it in some kind of knot on her head.
She was thinner than I remembered, but I didn’t care. My God, she was fucking beautiful.
If I’d been standing, possessiveness would have brought me to my knees. It was sharp and heavy. I honestly wondered if the load didn’t lighten how the fuck I would bear the weight.
All at once, I got angry. So goddamn angry.
I lurched out of the chair and paced toward her then away.
“What’s his name?” I demanded.
Her soft intake of breath made me close my eyes for a brief second. Cool it.
“Whose name?”
I made a rude sound. “Don’t play stupid with me, Bells. Your husband.” God, just saying that out loud made me want to punch something.
The fact that she was some other man’s—
“Husband?” The bewildered tone in her voice made me pause.
I spun and pinned her with a stare. “You have a new last name. I know you’re married.”
Her mouth formed a little O.
“Is that who you’re running from?” I pushed a hand through my hair. “Did your husband hurt you?”
“I…” Her words faltered.
I made an aggressive sound, and she flinched.
“Shit,” I swore low and went to her.
She took a step back, but I reached for her anyway. I had to. She was standing there swallowed up in the shirt I’d just worn against my skin.
Fuck me, I might as well cream in my jeans.
“What are you doing?” Her voice shook.
I tucked her against my chest, wishing I hadn’t put the sweatshirt back on. Wishing to hold her against my bare body. “I didn’t mean to yell.” I rubbed a hand up her back. “I’m not going to hurt you, Bells. You’re safe here.”
“I’m not safe anywhere,” she replied.
The sound of her voice cracked my heart.
I held her a little tighter. I was shocked when, after a few moments, I felt her arms close around me, hugging me back.
My stomach somersaulted. A surreal feeling washed over me. I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe she was here and I was holding her.
After a moment, she rubbed her face against my shirt and inhaled. I smiled.
Bellamy pulled away, and it was the hardest thing ever to let her go. I took comfort in the fact my T-shirt was draped on her body. Like some kind of statement.
As if somehow I was staking my claim.
She tipped her head back and looked at me, wary. “I’m not married.”
“Come again?” My voice was hoarse.
“I’m not married. My name—”
“Have you ever been?”
She shook her head slowly. “Never.”
I made a sound as if I’d just won some tournament and lunged at her. She squealed when I scooped her up around the waist, lifting her off her feet and twirling her in a circle.
She wasn’t married. She was mine.
“Geez, you could show a little disappointment at my state of singlehood,” she muttered when I set her down.
The urge to kiss her was so strong. So strong I grabbed her around the waist again and pulled her to me. She ducked her head, her forehead brushing the front of my shirt.
Taking a deep breath, I let her go, went back, and dropped to the chair. “Come eat.” My voice was strained, but hey, I’d managed not to kiss her.
“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled.
“You just passed out because you haven’t been taking care of yourself,” I intoned.
Bellamy dropped into the chair and picked up her mug. “When did you get hurt?”
“About a year ago,” I said.
She nodded. “That’s right. You already said that.”
I’d repeat myself for you a thousand times.
“What did you hurt?” Her blue eyes were beautiful. Empathetic.
“Tore my ACL.”
She made a sound. “And you can’t snowboard anymore?”
“Not for the pros. I still do it around here. I teach some lessons.” I probably shouldn’t do that at all, but fuck that. This was my life.
“You really loved it.”
“I really did.”
We fell silent. Talking about my bum knee wasn’t fun.
“Liam?”
I made a sound.
“I’m really sorry to hear about this. It must have been hard.”
The knot in my chest didn’t feel good, so I tried to make light of it. “Not as hard as finding out you didn’t know about this, too.”
So much for thinking she’d come back for me.
She ducked her head. “It’s been a rough year.”
“What’s going on, Bellamy? I know there’s something.”
She set aside her mug. “I’m really tired.”
I wanted to push her. But I wouldn’t. The dark circles under eyes and the pallor of her skin warned me off.
Right now, her being here and rocking my shirt was more than enough. I got up and went to the bed, yanking down the blankets in one move.
“What are you doing?” She was cautious.
“In you go.” I pointed.
“I’ll walk you out.” She glanced between me and the door.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Subtle. I’m not leaving.”
“Well, you aren’t sleeping with me!” She planted her fisted hands on her hips.
I tried real hard not to smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
A little bit of hurt flashed in her eyes, and I was a bastard because I was glad for it. I wanted her to want me even just a fraction of the way I wanted her. I cleared my throat and added, “At least not tonight.”
Her eyes whipped up to mine.
This time I smiled, letting some of the desire and possessiveness shine through.
She ran for the bed and jumped in, pulling the covers nearly over her head. “You can see yourself out.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
Then I returned to my chair.
Making a noise, Bellamy sat up, pushing down some of the covers to glare. “What are you doing?”
“Staying ‘til you fall asleep.”
Her mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. “But why?”
“Because you want me to.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You didn’t disagree.”
She fell back on the bed with a groan.
I grinned and settled my hands over my middle. “Go to sleep, Bells. I’ll watch over you.”
She rolled onto her side, gazing out the window above the table. “The snow here is prettier than anywhere I’ve ever seen.”
She was barely visible beneath the blankets. Time and again, my eyes would go back just to make sure she was still there.
The sound of her yawn filled the room.
I reached over and flipped off the light.
It wasn’t long before the her steady, even breathing filled my ears.
I sat in that uncomfortable chair until the sun began to lighten the sky. I’d doze on and off, only to wake to make sure she was still okay.
Eventually, I forced myself up, staring down at her while I stretched.
She looked so innocent. She said I’d hurt her. She’d hurt me.
I probably shouldn’t be here right now. I shouldn’t be thinking all these thoughts I’ve been having all night long.
I always did things I shouldn’t.
After tugging the blankets around her just a little bit farther I turned and left the room, silently shutting the door behind me. Before stepping away, I made sure the lock was definitely engaged.
I wasn’t even partway down the hallway when someone stepped out of one of the rooms in front of me. Instantly, I jerked to a halt, feeling I’d been caught doing something wrong.
It was stupid. I was a grown-ass man. I could do what I wanted.
I answered to no one.
And I didn’t even do nothin’!
Alex glanced over his shoulder. The second his eyes saw me, they widened and a huge grin broke out over his face. He made a show of looking me up and down.
“Same clothes. Rumpled. Bleary-eyed,” Alex listed, then snickered.
I glowered at him. Shoving his shoulder, I said, “Get moving.”
“Mr. No Girls Tonight is doing the walk of shame this morning,” he crooned.
I stopped abruptly.
Alex turned back. The look on my face erased the look on his. “Liam?”
“It’s not like that,” I snarled.
His piercing blue eyes widened. “Then what is it?”
My chest felt tight. Seeing her last night. Seeing her sleeping this morning… I shook my head. “Bellamy is here.”
“Bellamy…” Alex mused. “Why do I know that—” My best friend’s head whipped up. “Bellamy? As in the girl that got away Bellamy?”
My lip curled. “I hate it when you call her that.”
“Oh shit,” he said, part amusement, part shock.
I groaned. “I know.”
He retreated to where I was. In front of me, he leaned in, speaking low. “And last night you had a piece of that?”
My growl echoed along the hallway. I grabbed him up by the front of his wrinkled shirt. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “Too soon?”
I shoved him back, and he stumbled. “Get the fuck outta my face.”
“I’m kidding. You know I’m just kidding.”
“She’s not a joke.” I insisted.
“Yeah.” He nodded, smoothing out his shirt. “Yeah, I can see that.”
I started walking. As I went, I glanced over my shoulder to make sure she hadn’t somehow heard us. The hall was empty, and it kinda pissed me off. I’d been hoping to see her standing there.
“What’s she doing here?” Alex asked, falling into step beside me.
“I’m not sure yet,” I murmured, thinking about the way she looked last night. “But something’s up. She acted like she didn’t want to be here, but…”
“But?” Alex lifted a dark brow when I didn’t finish.
I glanced at my best friend, frowning. “It was sort of like she didn’t have a choice.”
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Something,” I muttered.
“Something,” he echoed.
I gave him a bland look. He shrugged.
When we got downstairs, I slapped him on the back. “You go. I have to make a stop before I head to my place.”
“Hey, L?” he asked.
I turned back.
“You know whatever you need, I’m here, right?”
“Yeah, Alex. I know. Thanks, man.”
“Anytime,” he replied, then left the lodge.
I went to the front desk, picked up one of the phones, and dialed down to room service. “It’s Liam,” I said when they answered.
“What can I do for you this morning, Mr. Mattison?”
“Just Liam.” I corrected. I always did. Mr. Mattison was my father and it always would be.
The man cleared his throat. “Liam.”
“I need a pot of hot chocolate, some OJ, water, some flapjacks, eggs, and toast all sent up to room 440.”
“Right away, sir.”
“Charge it to me.”
“Liam?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard.
“To me. Charge it to me.”
I felt his surprise. I’d never done anything like this before. I didn’t explain. I didn’t fucking have to.
“I’ll let the staff know this is priority.”
“Thank you,” I said, then replaced the phone.
On my way to my place, I glanced back at the lodge. Soon as I showered and changed, I’d be back.