My body was humming, probably from the full-on concert happening inside my heart.
I shouldn’t have crumbled, but Liam made me crumbly. How could I look into his silvery, stormy eyes and tell him I didn’t want to be with him? I did. I wanted that more than anything in the world.
Which was exactly why I should have stuck to my guns and not let it go that far. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I was sincerely afraid that was where this was going.
He told everyone, out loud and without any hesitation, I was his family. Family. I really didn’t know how badly I wanted that until he’d said the words. To be part of something. Of someone. To know I wasn’t alone.
There’s a reason you’re alone. I reminded myself.
Wants and needs, my mother used to say. What you want isn’t always what you need.
There was a fine line between those two things, wasn’t there? A line I felt blurring more and more every day.
The longer I stayed here, the blurrier it would become.
I’d been thinking a lot about everything, about what I should do and where to turn. I had a few options, but all of them scared me.
I knew it was wrong to want to stay in this holding pattern just a little while longer.
The more it would hurt when I had to leave.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Liam asked from the driver’s seat.
“The town is just as pretty during the daytime, even without all the lights in the trees,” I commented, gazing out the window.
He made a sound like he didn’t believe that’s all I was thinking, but he didn’t really want to call me out.
“Where to first?” he asked, driving slowly down the main street in town, Caribou Boulevard.
“I’d like to get some shampoo and a few necessities like that,” I answered. “And I need to get some clothes. I’m sick of these jeans.”
Laughing low, he pulled into a parking spot at the end of the street. “We’ll head into the Trading Post here on the corner. They should have everything but the clothes. Hell, Hal might even be stocking those, too.”
I looked not far down the sidewalk to the store with a large wooden sign that stretched across. TRADING POST, EST. 1930.
“Is that like the local Wal-Mart?” I asked.
Liam grinned. “Kinda, but don’t call it that in front of Hal. If you want one of those big box stores, I’ll drive you into the next town over. They’ve got some bigger stores.”
“No,” I said quickly. “This is perfect.” The less people, the better.
After Liam helped me down out of his monster truck (it wasn’t really, but it was big), I inhaled. The sweet scent of chocolate filled the air. “That smells so good.”
“That’s The Confectionary.” He pointed across the street. “Alex’s parents’ candy shop.”
“Mmm,” I said appreciatively.
“I’d take you in there, but Alex would be pissed. That’s definitely a shop he’d want to show you.”
“He’s proud of them,” I said, feeling a small lump of emotion in my throat.
“Oh yeah.” He agreed, placing his hand on the small of my back to guide me toward our first stop.
It felt like a blast from the past when a bell rang as we opened the door and walked inside. A few people nearest the door paused in what they were doing and looked up. A few greetings to Liam were called out.
“Everyone.” He smiled and gestured toward me. “This is Bellamy.”
“Hi, Bellamy,” they all said in near unison.
I waved.
Liam draped his arm over my shoulder and guided me farther into the store. I told myself the jumpy feeling in my belly was because new people were staring, not because I felt slightly giddy that I was out in public and he had his arm around me.
I felt sixteen again.
“That girl stuff you want is over here,” he said, pulling me along.
“Boys use shampoo, too.” I pointed out.
He grunted. “I have one soap in my shower that does everything. Girls have like twenty products for each part of their body.”
I turned toward him, stopping. Poking him in the chest, I said, “And just how would you know how many products women have in their showers?”
He blanched. “Uhh…”
I giggled.
Liam lunged as if he was going to attack me but instead wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the side of my neck.
Pressing his forehead against mine, he said, “I haven’t been a choir boy.”
“I kinda figured.”
“You’re the only one who matters, Bells.”
I whispered, “I know.”
Pulling away, I started down the shampoo aisle. “By the way, I’m getting you shampoo and conditioner. I don’t care what your one bottle says. It’s not good for everything.”
A man was walking past Liam, and he leaned in and commented, “Women. Always trying to buy us shit we don’t need.”
The man belly laughed and patted Liam on the shoulder. “Just agree, son. It saves time.”
Liam appeared behind me with a wicker shopping basket with two big handles. It was charming, and I looped it over my forearm and picked up a bottle of familiar-looking shampoo. Then I realized it was the kind I’d used when I was under protective custody and the cops did all my shopping.
I set it down so fast I knocked over the ones behind it.
“Shoot,” I swore beneath my breath.
“It’s okay, Bells,” Liam said, reaching over my shoulder to fix it. Before pulling back completely, he dropped a kiss to my cheek.
More butterflies ensued.
A man from the back of the store called out to Liam.
“Hey, Hal!” he called back. “I’ll be right back,” he said and jogged off to talk to the owner.
I enjoyed my time checking out the products and making my selections. I chose some detangling shampoo and conditioner, some lightweight styling cream, and added a wide-tooth comb from the bargain bin to my bag. Then I picked up some body cream, a few razors, and cheap shaving cream. It was made for men, but it worked the same as the “girl” stuff, and it was like a quarter of the price. Geez, these companies put a pink cap on it, make it smell like flowers, and then want to upcharge you by like seventy percent. They must be high from all that fake scent they’re dumping into stuff.
After that, I grabbed a fresh toothbrush and full-size toothpaste and a vanilla-scented lip balm. I missed my face moisturizer from home, so I grabbed something similar and picked up a bottle of face wash.
I don’t care what Liam said. One bottle of soap was not for everything.
After adding a few more things to the bag, I turned into the next aisle, which happened to be filled with candy.
Liam stepped up behind me, leaned over my shoulder, and pointed to a bag of Red Vines. “You still like those things?”
He remembered.
“You still think Twizzlers are better?”
He smiled. Then he grabbed a bag of Vines and a bag of Twizzlers, tossing them into my basket. “Yep.”
His hand slid beneath the handles resting against my arm and tugged up. “By the weight of this basket, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that you definitely have a soap for every part of your body.”
“I got you some stuff, too,” I returned sweetly.
Liam groaned and tossed the bag over his shoulder.
After I paid for my items, Liam stowed the bag in the truck, and we wandered down the sidewalk, hand in hand.
People greeted Liam and gazed at me with interest. He introduced me more than once as his girlfriend.
As apprehensive as I felt, it was overshadowed by pride. Pride in being here with him, pride that he was so willing to make sure everyone knew he was mine.
(Well, he probably saw it as staking his territory, but I preferred to see it the other way.)
There were a few other shops where I managed to find some bargains on some clothes. Nothing fancy. Stuff that was warm and a pair of jeans that weren’t as loose as the ones I’d been wearing.
“Please tell me we’re done,” Liam said when we stepped out of the last boutique.
I laughed. “Almost.” I promised. “One last store.” I pointed across the street.
Liam followed my hand and smiled slowly. “Now that’s the kind of store I wouldn’t mind helping you shop in.”
I smacked him in the stomach. He made a sound, but I know it didn’t hurt. “You aren’t coming in there with me.”
“Why the hell not?” he demanded.
I hid a smile. He sounded like a surly five-year-old. “Because what I have on beneath my clothes should have a little mystery.”
Leaning into my ear, he whispered, “I saw what you had on this morning.”
I felt my cheeks heat and desire unfold in my belly when I thought back to this morning. Liam laughed secretly, took my hand, and led me across the street.
Traffic actually stopped for him.
Forget the actual traffic lights hanging above. No. The people here deferred to Liam Mattison.
Once we were safely across, the traffic pattern started up again.
Liam followed my stare out onto the street. I glanced at him with a knowing look. He shrugged.
“Stay here,” I ordered.
“I’m gonna see it all anyway,” he intoned meaningfully.
“Stay,” I instructed. He was right. He was probably going to see it all anyway.
He laughed but sat down on the bench outside the store. I couldn’t help but think the shop placed it there on purpose, as if maybe a lot of women sentenced their significant others to it while they shopped for panties.
The inside was scented like roses, and my stomach flipped a little because it made me think of my mother. As I wandered around looking at the tasteful displays and drawers of undergarments and nightgowns, I reminded myself that my mother was safe. I’d just heard her voice.
Things change.
The thought made me stop and stare down at my feet. I didn’t think this worry for her would ever go away. Maybe I should reach out to her. Maybe the risk of being together was smaller than the one of being apart.
I never knew what the right choice was. It was exhausting.
In the back of the store, I found a nice display of cotton and lace panties. I wanted something cute, but I wasn’t the type to choose anything overly sexy. I went about selecting a week’s worth, then turned to look for another bra. The one I had was fine, but it would be nice to have at least one more. I found a rack of buy one get one half off and chose two.
I thumbed through a rack of nightgowns but ended up passing because if I bought one of those, then I wouldn’t need Liam’s T-shirt.
On my way to the register, an odd feeling climbed up my neck.
My footsteps slowed, and I tried to brush it off. I even went as far as to turn between two large racks. I told myself to calm down, that thinking of my mother had me spooked.
The entire time I stood at the register as the girl rang up each item, the knot in my stomach grew harder and harder. Off to the side, someone dropped something, and I jumped so forcefully I knocked over a display of lip-gloss on the counter.
“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed, hurrying to right the stand and pick up the mess. “I’m so sorry.”
“Happens all the time,” the girl said.
Halfway through putting away the lip-glosses, I turned and glanced over my shoulder. No one was there.
My heart started to hammer as I handed over some cash, and I realized this was the same feeling I’d gotten in the grocery store that night I was attacked. Like I was being watched.
What’s worse? I felt I was being watched as I was buying underwear.
*shudder*
“Thank you,” the sales girl said, and I jolted again.
“I’m sorry,” I stammered and handed her the few remaining glosses I had yet to stack. Soon as my hands were empty, I grabbed the bag and bolted for the front door.
Through the windows at the front of the store, I saw Liam standing on the sidewalk, laughing. A little of the fear inside me eased, but then it jacked up tenfold. What if the men found me? What if they were watching right now?
What if they knew Liam was with me!
“Liam!” I gasped, rushing outside, nearly face plating on the pavement.
“Whoa.” He gasped as two figures rushed toward me.
I screamed.
“Bells!” Liam’s voice cut off my shriek. “Hey, I got you.” I was lifted against his chest, secure arms locked around me.
My eyes flew around, seeking out anyone who looked suspicious.
All I saw was Alex.
“You all right, Bellamy?” He worried. Then his eyes widened. “Is there some creep in there hassling all you bunnies while you shopping for lacey things?”
A low growl built in Liam’s chest.
“We’ve got to handle this,” Alex told him.
They started marching toward the door.
“Stop!” I pleaded. “There’s no panty perv in there.”
“Panty perv?” Alex echoed. “That’s some creativity right there.” He held out his fist so I could bump it, but Liam shoved it away.
“What’s wrong?” Liam asked.
I stepped away from him and took a shuddering breath. “Nothing. I—” I glanced around again, noting nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I didn’t even feel like someone was watching me now. I shook my head. “Nothing. I think I’m just tired.”
Alex stepped forward and tried to peek inside my bag. “What’d you buy in there?”
“You are not seriously trying to look at my girl’s underwear.” Liam snarled.
Alex glanced at me and winked. Swinging around to Liam, he said, “Panties! Ah, that’s what they sell in there? Nasty.”
Liam rolled his eyes.
I laughed.
“C’mon, Bells.” Alex draped an arm over my shoulder. “What you need is some chocolate, and I know just the place you can get it.”
“It’s Bellamy to you,” Liam intoned, trailing along behind us.
“Don’t worry. I bought him some rash cream at the store. He should be less grumpy by tomorrow,” I whispered—very loudly—to Alex.
Alex cackled. “I think I’m gonna like having you around.” He glanced over his shoulder to look at Liam. “I heard all about your employee meeting. I feel left out, bro.” He put a hand over his heart. “I mean, to be left out of such an important announcement.” Alex turned to me. “My man off the market, and I wasn’t even there to watch the death of his singlehood.”
I giggled.
Liam pulled Alex’s arm off my shoulders and replaced it with his. “Your time is coming, A. And when it does, I’m going to do all this to you.”
“Now why would I want to go and get un-single?” He wondered.
Liam glanced down at me and winked.
A rush of heavenly scented air burst forward and twirled around us. My stomach growled.
“They have hot chocolate, too,” he said against my ear.
“Bellamy.” Alex swept his arm out toward his parents’ store. “May I present The Confectionary.”
“If it’s half as good as it smells, then I’d say this place has my vote for favorite shop in all of Caribou.”
“C’mon. My parents are dying to meet you.” He grinned. “They’re definitely interested in the girl who’s making Liam settle down.”
I glanced at Liam, and he smiled.
“Fair warning.” Alex went on. “My mother is going to insist you’re too skinny, feed you everything, and then give you a giant bag to take home.”
Liam laughed. “He’s right.”
The two guys went forward. Alex opened the door, and Liam went ahead. Before I followed suit, another tingle of something creepy-crawled up the back of my neck. I whipped around quickly and stared down to the end of the block.
I could have sworn I saw someone disappearing around the corner.