Chapter Eleven

 

I drove back from boxing feeling slightly uneasy about leaving Aly alone at the shopping center. I parked my car and went to the spot Aly and I agreed to meet up at. Ten minutes passed, and there was still no sign of her. I called her cell phone and got no response. Fuck. I was using every skill I knew to stay calm. I tried texting her.

Me: I’m trying not to flip my shit over here, girl. Are you running late? Please text me.

No answer.

I called again. No response. Texted again. Nothing.

My heart hammered in my chest. I was dialing Dad’s number when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I whipped around, expecting to see Aly, but it wasn’t. It was a little boy with a notepad and shaking hands.

“Hi,” he said, looking at his feet. “Are you X? The X?”

I closed my eyes and nodded, praying for patience for the sake of this little boy.

“You’re my hero,” he said through his lisp. “Can I have your autograph?”

“Of course,” I responded. The boy smiled and walked back to his parents after I’d signed all the things he’d asked me to. I grabbed my phone again to call Dad when I spotted him.

Ryan fucking Oakland.

I practically ran over to Ryan. I grabbed his collar and shoved him up against the wall as he flailed his arms wildly.

“Axel, going for round two. Prison this time?” he snarled.

“Where is she?”

“Sarah’s dead. Your other bitch, Aly. She seems nice. Don’t know where she is.”

I shoved him against the wall again and then dropped him because if I didn’t, I was going to kill him.

“Where. Is. She?” I said,enunciating my words.

He grinned. “I knew it.”

“Knew the fuck what?”I said, taking a step towards him.

“You care about that bitch. Mike and Ike over here said no way, but I knew it the minute I saw her. You always go for the sweet, innocent ones. It’s fucking sad since you’re bad news and all. You’ve had some entertaining headlines these past two years, X.”

“If you…”

Ryan cut me off. “I didn’t touch her. Not yet anyway,” he said with a grin. “Bitch drove off.”

“Drove off?” She didn’t have a car.

“Yeah, she’s long gone by now. She seemed off when I saw her. Kept holding her head.”

“FUCKKK!” I yelled, punching the wall and storming away. I turned back towards Ryan. “If you are lying or if you ever touch her, that wall over there will be your fucking face. I won’t care if I go to prison. It was worth it for Sarah, and it’d be worth it for Aly.”

“Good luck finding her and icing your hand.”

I’d never experienced hatred as deep as I felt for Ryan Oakland. I grabbed my phone and tried Aly one more time. No response. I called Mom.

“Axel?”

“Have you heard from Aly?”

“Not since you left. Everything o…”

I hung up before she could finish and called Dad. “Dad, I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Aly?”

“No, why?”

“She’s fucking missing! Fuck, Dad, she’s gone.”

“Stay calm, Axel. Where are you?”

“Ryan’s here,” I whispered.

I heard the panic seep into Dad’s usually calm voice. “Get out of there, Axel! Now. Where are you?”

“Town square,” I said, taking deep breaths.

“Is your car there?”

“Yes.”

“Get in it and stay on the phone.”

“Dad…” I snapped.

“Axel, listen to me. I have an idea where she is, but you need to calm down and stay on the line so you don’t kill anyone. I’m putting your mother on. Don’t hang up or I’m not going looking for your girl.”

“Fine,” I snapped, running to my car.

“Axel, you need male friends,” he mumbled before handing the phone off to my mother.

He was right. I had a ton of friends when I was boxing, but now I just had Carl. I needed a place I could fit in again.

Mom stayed on the line with me until I got home. Her voice was calming, and Dad was right. I should do a better job of not writing her off. I got home in record time. I’m amazed I didn’t get pulled over.

“Where is she?” I yelled the second I burst through the front door.

“Sit down, Axel,” Dad said sternly. His lips were pursed in a tight line and his eyes were trained on me, daring me to challenge him. I sat down and put my head in my hands as my leg bounced around rapidly.

“Son,” my dad said softly, “you can’t make someone stay who doesn’t want to. You just can’t. I know it hurts, but…”

“No, it’s not about that,” I said, cutting him off. “Aly has no money, no place to live, no friends, a psycho father and psycho best friend after her, probably fucking Ryan after her now too. She’s not street smart. She’s innocent. Plus, she’s been getting dizzy just walking around the house. Now she’s out wandering the streets. She’s going to fucking die out there. She’s running. We have to find her. If she wants to go somewhere else, then I’ll help her, but…we have to find her this time.”

Dad nodded, and Mom gasped.

“Poor girl,” Mom cried.

“You had an idea,” I snapped to Dad.

“Yes, she has a cell, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We can try and trace it. “

I gave Dad her phone number, make, and model. He was on the phone with the phone company immediately. I didn’t know what else to do. I put my head in my hands and Mom came over and put her hand on my back. I flinched. This was letting my parents too close. I wanted to pull away, but I didn’t. As fucking pussy as this was, I wanted my mom… and I wanted to beat the shit out of something. Someone. Anyone.

“I’m sorry, Axel. She’s a good girl.” She moved the hair out of my face and looked down at her lap. “Your eyes are all black again.”

I ignored her because Dad came in the room quickly.

“Everyone in the car. Now.”

We all ran into the car and Dad hit the gas hard.

“Where is she?!”

“Not far.” He was no longer listening to me.

“Hun,” Mom said. “They just told you her location? We aren’t family, that’s weird.”

“I may have told a few lies,” he admitted.

I looked down at my seat and mumbled a thank you.

Dad nodded firmly. He would forever go down as my hero. He’d always been there when I needed him most and never judged me despite how much shit I’ve put him through. We drove for ten minutes at an alarmingly fast pace before we pulled up next to a field.

“Her phone died two minutes ago, but she hasn’t moved in over an hour, so she should be around here somewhere.”

“Dad, Mom, you take the field. I’ll take the surrounding vicinity.”

I bolted out of the car and silently begged a God I wasn’t even sure I believed in that Aly was okay. I searched random places until I saw a small alley. I instantly knew she was there. I ran at full speed towards its entrance. The minute I rounded the corner, I saw Aly. She was lying on the ground, passed out with her hair covering her face. I stumbled backwards. The image brought back memories of the day Sarah was raped and I found Aly in the storage closet.

“Dad. Mom…” I yelled.

I heard their footsteps running towards me. I slowly walked over to her and moved the hair out of her face. She looked exhausted. I took her pulse immediately. She was alive. Thank God.

I picked her up gently and felt her head fall backward in my hands. She was so light and fragile. My parents came around as soon as I got her off the ground. Mom gasped and grabbed Aly’s giant purse. Dad bolted for the car and brought it around to us.

“We need to get her to the hospital,” he said as we all climbed into the car.

I laid Aly across the back seat, placing her head in my lap. I didn’t care how much muscle I put on, how strong I became or how hard I could punch someone; I was still more broken and scared inside than anyone I’d ever met.

“Stay with me, Aly. Come on,” I whispered.

I saw my parents look at each other with concern, but I didn’t care. They could judge me all they wanted. Aly had to live.

 

I felt my eyes start to flutter open. I wasn’t dead. That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I zipped through the white light to the cold hospital room. I heard my voice groan and I kept working to open my eyes. Finally, I was able to and I looked around the room and saw X’s dad to my left.

“You’re awake?” he said, sitting up.

“Where am I?”

“The hospital.”

“But...how? I was gone,” I said as I rubbed my eyes.

“I know. We found you. Well, more like Axel was going to tear apart the state of California if we didn’t find you.”

“X?”

“Shh, my wife is getting food and X is boxing so he doesn’t kill himself or someone else. He’ll be back soon. Aly, you scared him, you know? A lot.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, wincing. “I didn’t want to hurt him. I just…I have to go. You have to let me leave.”

“What’s your plan, Aly? When you have a plan and I know I’m not going to find you nearly dead in an alley, you can go. Until then, you’ll stay with us. I’m not trying to trap you somewhere you don’t want to be. If something happens to you, I’ll be upset and, ”he paused, looking at his hands, “and I’ll lose my son again.”

I looked at him, surprised, understanding exactly what he meant. “This isn’t the same. Sarah was his friend. His love. It’s different.”

“And who exactly are you?” he asked, leaning forward.

“I’m no one. I’m …”

I bit my lip. Anger and pain radiated through my body. I tried to think of a way to get X’s dad to understand, but for once, my word vomit wasn’t working.

“Don’t you see?” I said. “Don’t you see what a problem I am? I destroyed my family. I am forcing X into the world that is hurting him. I’m inconveniencing all of you with my issues, and I belong to no one. I have to deal with all of this on my own before I hurt anyone else. Please let me go!”

I could feel tears running down my face as I struggled to sit up. Before X’s dad could say anything, I saw X standing in the doorway with his mother.

“Sit the fuck back down!” he said with a deceptive calm.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and flinched when I saw the look on his face. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were narrowed, focused on me.

“Dad. Mom,” he said, turning to them.

From the look on his face, I could tell he wanted them to leave. X’s mom waited in the doorway, and X’s dad stood up and turned to me.

“You’re a smart girl. I think you know you’re not ‘nothing’ to someone.” With that, he turned around and left with his wife.

What did that mean?

I did everything I could to avoid eye contact with him. It was only us in the room now and he looked furious, hurt and slightly terrifying. His eyes were black, and his hair was ragged over his face.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, not looking at him. “I…”

“Shut up. I’m going to speak in a way you will not misinterpret. You aren’t going anywhere until you have a plan I feel won’t fucking kill you, Aly.”

“You’re not my dad!”

“No, your dad’s the one trying to fucking kill you, so I’m stepping in to help if you’d stop fucking scaring the shit out of me. Not to mention how the fuck does Ryan Oakland know you?”

“Your friend Ryan?”

“My friend?” His voice was a thin whisper and he glared at me.

“He approached me. Said hi, introduced himself,” I paused when I saw the look on his face. “That’s it. Are you not friends anymore?” I whispered, feeling slightly afraid. X looked downright criminal. He was seething. The look on his face was pure hatred.

X took a deep breath. “Ryan is not, never was, and never will be my friend. He raped Sarah! He’s the reason I was sent to juvie. I beat the shit out of that asshole, and I’ll do it again if he touches you.”

“I... I didn’t know. I’m so sorry! I didn’t know,” I stammered.

X ran a hand over his face. “I know. Just…don’t talk to him, look at him or even go fucking near him. Understood?”

I nodded quickly, and there was a pause. “X, I’m leaving. Let me go, please. I’m a problem, don’t you see that?”

“No, you are not leaving. I’ve been over this. You’re not leaving until I’m sure you won’t die.”

“Why do you care? Let me go! Please, let me leave,” I said desperately.

X shook his head and stalked over to my bed. He grabbed both sides of my face.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh? Insecurity, all this other bullshit you’re stewing in. This isn’t a good look for you. Talk to me. Come on, Aly.”

I pulled away. My stomach was queasy and I hurriedly looked around for a basket. X quickly caught on and put a hand on my shoulder and held a trash can out in front of me. I threw up.

“What’s wrong with my head?” I asked, wiping vomit from my mouth.

X came around and stuck out his arm so I could use it to get to the restroom and clean up. I grabbed his arm and hated the way my heart fluttered as he helped me. My head was spinning when I got into the restroom. X put the toilet seat down so I could sit on it.

“Stay there,” he said.

He grabbed a paper towel and then the back of my neck so he could wipe the vomit from my face.

“What are you doing?” I used all my energy to try and pull my head away from his grasp.

“Getting the shit off your face.”

“That’s too nice. Stop.”

“Too nice?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s way, way too nice. Let me go.”

“Shut up and let me help you.” He didn’t even pay attention to my nervous rambling after that. His only priority was getting me cleaned up in as gently as possible. He was killing me.

I was only in the hospital twenty-four hours, thank goodness, but they recommended I stay in bed as much as possible. I didn’t want to spend more time thinking about everything that had happened. I had a feeling there would be serious consequences to the stunt I just pulled. Ones not easily remedied.

I found out from the doctors that I had some form of severe vertigo. I didn’t understand the medical explanation. Frankly, I didn’t care. I had it. And I had to rest a lot. That was all I needed to know. That wasn’t the only news I got. Apparently, X and his dad were building a case against my dad and Brandon. They said it looked good so far. I allowed them to use my medical records and gave a written statement to a local police officer they were in touch with. I didn’t need to testify, which was a relief because I couldn’t face them again. Not now, not ever.

That was the only somewhat good news to come after my little runaway stint. It had been over a month since I left home… or the storage shed, depending on how I looked at it. Everyone kept their eyes on me now, and despite throwing many stupid “I can live on my own” plans out there, I still couldn’t think of anything that would convince them to let me leave. My head was a lot better. It still acted up, but overall, the pain and nausea had died down a lot. The worst part of everything was X had shut down again.

Between my runaway stint, Ryan coming back in the picture, and whatever else he was stewing in, he was cold to everyone. It was hard to watch.

I just cared about that man so darn much. So did his parents. He started going to bars and getting drunk with his boxing buddies, kept saying it was “pussy boxing” and that he needed a real outlet. X’s mom was exceedingly kind to me still, but X’s dad kept looking at me like I was missing something important and he couldn’t believe I still wasn’t getting it. I wanted to ask him to tell me outright what he was thinking, but X’s dad was a lot like X in the sense that he was a man of very few words. You had to be able to read him, and I couldn’t.

I hit an emotional rock bottom on a certain Friday night. X called me past midnight while I was in bed, braless in a tank top and shorts.

“X? You okay?” I asked, tired and panicked. Why was he calling me this late?

“Oh yeah, I’m great, ”he said, slurring his words.

“Okay, then what’s up?”

“I need my room. Just for tonight.”

“Uh, okay. I’ll get dressed, grab my stuff, and get out.”

“Hurry, I’m pulling in.”

With that, he slammed the phone shut. I threw on a sweatshirt and sweat pants, grabbed my blanket, and headed down the stairs. When I walked into the living room, both of X’s parents were looking at me sympathetically. I glanced up and noticed X walking in arrogantly with a girl on his arm. For some reason, fire built in my body. I stood there staring at them open mouthed. It took his mom pulling me to the couch to snap me out of it. I glared at them as they walked all giggly up the stairs. They held each other close, and I can’t even repeat all the stupid stuff she was saying to him. I watched them walk upstairs to the room I had been sleeping in and shut the door. I stared at the door for an eternity before looking back at X’s parents, who were now both staring at me.

“He’d do that at his parents’ house,” I spat out.

My hands were shaking, and an anger I couldn’t understand rose inside of me. I wanted to throw up all over again but for a completely different reason. I hated the fact that I was feeling anything at all, more than I hated the actual feeling itself. I was jealous. I couldn’t be jealous. Thiswas why I had to leave. Then I heard them giggle again and I rolled my eyes and shot back on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest. When once again the sounds of them having sex upstairs was apparent, I looked at his parents open mouthed. I couldn’t even control my obvious feelings. That was the worst part. It was like word vomit except with feelings. I didn’t even have to say anything. It was written all over my face. Finally, his mom turned to me and patted me on the back.

“I’m so sorry, Aly. Axel is…“She sighed and didn’t even bother continuing. She kissed me on the head and turned to go to bed. She looked like she wanted to say more but couldn’t find the words. Her arms fell to her side and she turned to her husband.

“Help Aly make the couch comfortable.”

With that, she was gone, and it was just him and me.

“I got it,” I said, grabbing my blanket from him.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to bed yet.”

“Don’t leave, okay? I know you want to run, but don’t go yet. We almost have a solid case on your dad; it’s proving to be easier than I thought. Just hang in there. There’s a lot to work out.”

He patted me on the head and went to bed. The minute they were gone, I tucked my knees into my chest and sobbed into my blanket. There was nothing to work out. I was developing feelings for X and he still barely acknowledged me as his friend. I had to run. I couldn’t let my heart get hurt again. I just couldn’t. I would leave, but this time would be different. It would be more thought out. I had to make sure that if I was going to leave, I was never coming back.