My last two days at the cabin pass like nothing. I avoid any more time-slowing fishing trips, for once looking forward to my return to civilization. For the first time, the drive back to the Bay Area is upbeat instead of a boring slog.

Back in the city, walking along the Embarcadero, I’m happier with my decision than ever. I don’t know where Emily’s at with the whole thing, but maybe Clarissa spoke with her.

When I get to the Ferry Terminal, I know better than to look for Clarissa outside. It’s a gray day, and as I expect, she’s sitting at a table when I walk inside. My sister is already halfway through her kimchi burger.

I sit down, take one of Clarissa’s fries, and eat it in one bite.

“Hey!”

“You couldn’t wait for me to order?” I’m talking with my mouth full, and I know the answer already.

“You know I’m not going to wait that long…but I’ll stay and watch you eat. And you know what, those fries are for both of us, so it’s fine.”

I laugh. “I’m getting more fries, so don’t even worry about it.”

I’m playing it light, and I pretend to look at the menu. I’m hoping I don’t have to ask, but I can’t wait…

“Any word from Emily?”

Clarissa just took a bite of her burger, but she shakes her head slowly. The answer I anticipated, but fuck.

“No, just Miranda.”

Also expected. Also, fuck.

“How many times did she call?”

“Just once, most days.”

I nod.

“I’ll be right back.”

I go to the register and order a California burger, garlic fries, and a glass of pinot noir. I decide to get an ice cream cone for Clarissa as well.

I don’t know what’s going on with Emily, or whether I should call her right away. I think about it long enough that my order comes up while I’m still standing there.

Clarissa smiles sheepishly when she sees me walk back with my food and the ice cream.

“For making you wait so much today.” I hand her the cone.

“It’s the least you could do.”

Clarissa doesn’t hesitate to start in on her ice cream.

“May I have my phone back?”

My sister holds the phone like a parent about to give car keys to their teenage son. She’s ready to give me a preliminary lecture.

“Are you going to block her number?”

I make a baffled face, like I don’t know what she’s talking about.

“Whose?”

“Miranda’s, of course. There’s no reason you should still have to deal with this.”

I lean in as Clarissa eats her ice cream angrily.

“She’s been calling. I’m not just going to ignore her. After everything we’ve been through, she deserves that much respect, at least.”

Clarissa realizes that she has no way of arguing with that and deposits the phone on my tray with a grimace. I pocket it quickly before ripping into the first bite of my burger. After a few days of sourcing and preparing my own food, I appreciate any ready-made meal.

We eat silently for a few minutes. This happens when we feel comfortable enough, or if we have nothing to say. This time, it’s a combination of both.

“You’re going to call Emily, aren’t you?” Clarissa finally breaks the silence after finishing her cone and sliding her tray aside.

“I don’t know about that. I’ll get back to Miranda first, but then I do need to speak with Emily. I need to see her, really, to see if she’s okay and to talk about things.”

Clarissa takes one of my fries. I slip my phone out of my pocket and look at the incoming calls. I have to scroll through about a dozen Miranda calls, going back a few days, to get to the last Emily call.

“I never thought I’d see the day.” Clarissa smirks.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I have the feeling I’m in for a lecture, and for real this time.

“The Great Kirk, ruler of the city’s trendy bar world, the San Fran ladies’ man…the Great Kirk is now a fucking sap.”

“Sap. That’s a good one. Rich. What year is it again?”

I wait until a couple seconds after I’m done talking to look up from my phone. It seems like I’d be admitting something if I looked up right away.

“You’re going to call Emily, right? Text her first, maybe? Then wait by your phone? Worried about when she’ll get back? This isn’t you. Come on. This is shit other people go through. Other guys.”

I leave my phone on the table, faceup so I can see if somebody calls or texts.

“What other guys? And why should I care? I’m doing what’s best for me.”

Clarissa goes to take another fry, then stops herself.

“What’s best for you?”

“I want to keep trying with Emily, or at least see where we stand.”

“When’s the last time you worried about anything like this?”

I try to look amused and bemused that she would ask that, but I’m thinking, Am I ever like this? Is this the first time? Why?

I need to think of a response fast. Because what the fuck.

“I’m just going to pay her a visit. Just going to see what’s up.”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” Clarissa repeats while gathering her tray.

Clarissa walks over to the trash and recycling bins, leaving me alone to drink my wine. I pick up the burger, but I’m suddenly not as hungry.

I’m taking a greedy gulp of red wine when Clarissa gets back. She points at the now almost empty glass while sitting down, giving me a look but not saying a word.

“You can have the rest of my fries if you want,” I offer.

“No. No more for me. If you want to see Emily…are you really planning to go to her?”

“Of course. What’s weird about that?”

“Just, none of this is like you. This is the most I’ve ever seen you look at your phone. You know there are no calls from her. And now you want to just show up like that? You need to wait until she’s ready to make that call, so to speak.”

“What if she doesn’t?” The question just slips out. I think I’m more confused by it than Clarissa.

“Think about your experiences, Kirk. How do things work for you? Guys like you, you just attract women. You don’t go to them, they come to you. It’s nature. Don’t go against nature.”

I drain the last of the wine and push my tray away, thinking about what she’s saying. She’s right.

“Yeah,” I say slowly. “I suppose I wouldn’t want to do that.”

Right. I’ll wait for her to come to me. Let it be on her terms.

That’s the best way to handle this…right?