I’m out shopping, using that as an excuse to become distracted by everything that’s going on with Zane right now. I mean, what better way to get a girl’s mind off things than looking for something to spoil herself with?

Yes, my credit card is receiving the brunt of my emotional cutting, but these new fall boots make me look like the model I’ll never be, so I buy them and feel great about myself if only for a few minutes.

If you’re thinking that just because it’s been several days since I profess my love to Zane and him admits his to me, that we decide to live happily ever after…well you couldn’t be more fucking wrong.

This is all supposed to just be a fucking transaction between two professional people, who simply happen to work together and nothing more.

Now it’s all going to shit.

Unfortunately, because of our newfound feelings for each other, it’s become a web of complicated factors in a sea of the unknown.

“Thank you for shopping at Macy’s,” the young, bright blonde tells me in a peppy voice as she hands me my bag. “Have a wonderful day.”

“You too,” I say pleasantly and walk away. If only she fucking knew that my anxiety-ridden mind can’t make the day very wonderful. In fact, the opposite is true.

As I reach my car, I get a Face Time call from Molly, so I sit in the driver’s seat in the mall parking garage.

“Hi,” I answer and push my hair back, always feeling self-conscious on a video call.

“Hey!” she says bubbly into the phone.

“How are things with Zane? Have you told him you aren’t pregnant this time?”

I take a deep breath. I have yet to tell Molly the new details of my relationship with Zane. I have no fucking clue how she’s going to react, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to spill the beans. There’s no point in delaying it any further and hopefully, she won’t be too judgmental about it all.

“He knows I’m not pregnant,” I begin, albeit vaguely.

“So, how’d he take it?” she asks.

I can tell she’s at work because I can see her office behind her. She works as a real estate agent and I honestly can’t think of someone else who is fucking better at their job than Molly.

“We had sex again,” I say and bite my lip.

“Way to go!” Molly shouts. “There’s no point in wasting any time.”

“Well at first I was upset…” I say.

“You mean until he put his cock between your legs?” Molly jokes.

“Exactly,” I laugh. “And he told me he loves me.”

“Shut up!” Molly shouts again and slaps her desk. “He fucking didn’t.”

“He fucking did.” I nod to confirm.

“So apparently that helps in bed,” Molly grins.

“I, um…actually love him too,” I say and hold my breath, waiting for Molly’s reaction.

“You love him?” The shock registers all over her face.

“I do,” I say with finality. “He’s great, to be honest. And he told me he doesn’t even care about the contract. He just wants me to be happy, and if having his baby will make me so, then he’s fully on board.”

“Wow,” Molly says in utter disbelief. “I guess I’m happy for you?” She says it as more of a question than a statement.

I chuckle.

“It’s okay; I know it’s fucking weird. I’m still trying to process all these new emotions myself,” I admit.

“Do you think he’s really sincere or that maybe he just doesn’t want you to screw up his life by firing him?” Molly raises a good point.

“I can sense he’s genuine,” I say. “Besides, I told him the story about my mom.”

“That will win him over,” she says. “It’s a sob story for sure.”

“I can just tell by the way he looks at me…I don’t know Molly, something is fucking changing about him, but in the best way possible.”

“Well, I wish you all the fucking good luck in the world. If anyone is rooting for you to succeed, you know it’s me.” Molly gives me a wink.

“Thank you,” I say. “I know I can always count on you.”

“Are you in a parking garage?” Molly looks past me in the screen.

“Yep.” I nod.

“Oh no, you aren’t on an emotional shopping spree again, are you?”

I laugh.

“How do you know me so fucking well, Molls?”

“That’s what best friends are for,” she reminds me.

“Duh,” I say and face palm myself. It’s nice to have someone who understands you enough to support you no matter what.

“Well, I better go,” I say and look behind me. “I have a really great spot that I’m sure someone else is going to want to snag up themselves.”

“Okay, call me if anything changes in the soap opera of Piper Stewart,” she jokes.

“If only someone would pay me for my own show,” I quip back.

Molly laughs.

“See ya, chick.”

I hang up and take a deep breath as I grip the steering wheel and pull out of my parking spot. I still have a lot of unanswered questions and factors to consider, and I mentally weigh them on the trek back to my apartment.

As I see people waiting for buses and taxis, and darting in and out of subway centers, I think about how lucky I am to have my own car in the city. I work hard to be able to afford my lifestyle and I don’t want anything to come between or change that.

I take pride in my strong logic when it comes to business, and innate ability to focus on things I have to do.

And this is supposed to be all business. The terms of the contract are front and center in my mind. I’m not supposed to care about Zane Tanner, but now I do.

I picture his dark hair and his dark eyes piercing through my soul as he thrusts on top of me. I get shivers of pleasure and thrills as I imagine his rock-hard cock plowing through me, his solid muscles protecting me.

We aren’t supposed to love each other, but now we do, and everything is fucking different. I have no idea how we are going to move forward now, or if I should just null out the contract and forgive him for fucking the models on my desk.

I also have the pregnancy worry wreaking fucking havoc in my mind. I mean I know we haven’t been trying for very long, but I know several people that struggle with fertility issues and I don’t want to be fucking one of them.

What if Zane thinks I’m damaged goods if I end up not being able to conceive? Will he decide he really wants a family and kick me to the curb for another pretty girl who’s able to have children?

Now I’m really in a tail spin from allowing my imagination to run wild and I need to snap the fuck out of it.

As I enter my building to go upstairs, my shopping bags feel as heavy as my heart. What if Zane and I don’t really love each other, but in the intimate moment of revealing private things about ourselves the other night we were compelled in the specific situation?

The fact that I haven’t really talked to Zane much since then is also plaguing on my thoughts. Does he love me? Do I love him? Are we on the right track, or are we making a stupid fucking mistake?

I have no idea, but I only know one thing for sure, and that’s the fact that I’m fucking scared for the future.