Tina

“The nerve of him.”

I slammed the door to my room and began peeling the outfit off my body. Deep down, I was still upset about Kevin pulling me into that room. Granted, I didn’t know I wouldn’t enjoy making out in front of people having sex. But, even if I had, we were chaperoning the fucking party! What did he think was gonna happen?! That he was just gonna slip his dick in real quick and get him a bit before continuing on with his duties?!

“The fucking nerve,” I said.

I ripped the purple lace off my body before I tossed it towards the trash can. I didn’t want to see any part of this outfit ever again. From the moment Kevin brought it out, I couldn’t stand it. Purple looked like shit on me, the leather was fucking uncomfortable, and the studs looked hideous. It was nothing like I thought I would wear to a party like this.

But, Kevin and I were going through a dry spell. He started teaching me about dominant-submissive relationships a few months ago-- exploring the submissive part of my personality that contrasted with his dominant one. And it was fun, it really was. And I enjoyed it, I really did. But, election year was officially upon us and I was in a mad dash with work, and it didn’t give us much time to get together and play around.

I knew he was anxious to get me alone during this weekend, but did he really have to pull me into a dark ass room while we were supposed to be watching over everyone?

I went over to my dresser and searched for my nightgown. If I was going to be comfortable, I was going to put on something that allowed me to flop down into bed the moment these idiots passed out. I usually loved our parties. Brit and I would deck ourselves out, and having Maddie around now gave us a third girl to pal around with. It was a nice dynamic we had going, but this party was doomed from the start.

I pulled my nightgown over my head before I grabbed my robe. I slung it over my shoulders, relishing in the comfort of clothing that wasn’t digging into my skin, and I closed my eyes. Deep breathing always seemed to help when my head was spiraling out of control, and the truth of the matter was I had very little to be upset about. The moment I voiced I was uncomfortable, Kevin removed me from the situation. He read my body language, heard it in my voice, and got me out of there.

It wasn’t like he held me there against my will, or attempted to coax me into doing something I didn’t want to do. He simply put me in a new situation that was uncomfortable. It would be no different than some dude trying anal with his woman for the first time. He slips it up her ass crack, she says no, and he backs off.

That’s what happened.

So, why was I still angry with him?

“Fuck, Tina. Come on.”

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to stave off the headache I felt coming on. I was exhausted, I hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and all I wanted was a hot bath. I looked up and saw my beautiful jet tub just beckoning to me. Calling out my name like the sweetest of lovers I’d neglected over the years.

“You’re jumping off the deep end, Tina.”

It was the first time in all the experimenting Kevin and I had done that I’d actually found a boundary. Everything we had tried up until this point never breached the point of being uncomfortable. He might push the edging a bit farther than normal or the nipple clamps might squeeze a bit too hard, but that didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.

I did not enjoy that scenario at all. Being in a room where someone else could watch us have sex was not something I wanted to try. It didn’t bother me to walk through a house full of people debauching their partners, but knowing others are watching me be debauched?

Nope. No, thanks. You can kiss that shit goodbye.

A massive yawn peeled from my lips, raising tears to my eyes. All I wanted to do was lay back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, and I figured a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. If Kevin needed me, he’d come get me.

I sighed and closed my eyes before work started to rattle my brain. My job was to essentially dig politicians out of their bullshit scandals and fix their media personas. I pick them apart, I write them a script, and they pay me a shitton of money to keep me on retainer for the next time it happens. I controlled everything once they fucked up, and I loved it. But, it’s also why election year was such a scramble. All these politicians that kept me on retainer would come out of the woodworks and want me to write their scripts or go over their campaigns or help them through scandals that were already being brought to light.

It was both the most lucrative and most exhausting part of my career.

These vacations we all took were godsends. We took three of them every year. We would all get on a conference call after recuperating from our New Year’s parties, we’d schedule out a spring, summer, and winter vacation time, then we’d all show up. We all made it a point to leave work behind, and we were only allowed one electronic on the island in order to help us with work should there ever be an emergency.

Kevin’s go-to was always his laptop and my go-to was always my phone.

This vacation had been a blast up until this point. The first night we were all together, the three of us girls-- myself, Brit, and Maddie-- hopped a boat to the mainland and went shopping. We came back with all sorts of treats and goodies for ourselves, like decadent wines and fine chocolates, and we spent the rest of the evening chatting in Maddie’s room.

Then, the men took a day to themselves the next day, which meant the three of us girls then had the house to ourselves. We cooked an awesome lunch, took it out to the beach shore of the island, and just listened to the cool waves bash against the shoreline. We wrapped ourselves in sweaters and blankets just so we could visit the wintertime ocean.

It was nice, sitting with a group of girls I knew I could trust and just existing.

And of course, the boys came back with this brilliant party plan, with Kevin at the helm of the decorations and appetizers. It had been quite some time since they’d planned a party, and I knew from the moment Kevin started talking about the theme that it was going to get out of control.

Now, we were looking at shelling out at least $10,000 dollars to have all the furniture in this house cleaned, and I wasn’t sitting on an inch of it until it was.

Just then, my phone vibrated on the floor. I groaned, knowing damn good and well something at work had just fucked up royally, and for a split second I debated on letting it go to voicemail. But, my curiosity got the better of me, and suddenly I wanted to know what Senator had now been caught with his dick in someone that wasn’t his wife.

However, when I saw it was my mother, my blood ran cold.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Sweetheart,” she said coolly, “you need to come home.”

“What’s happened?” I asked. “Where’s dad?”

“Your father has passed.”

In that very moment, I felt the breath from my lungs flee my body. Every single cell in my body fell prey to the cold, cruel reality of what my mother had to nonchalantly told me, and the phone dropped to the floor.

I scrambled for it, double-checking the number to make sure all this was happening before I put the phone back to my ear.

“Tina?” my mother asked.

“Yes?”

“Did you hear me? Your father has passed. I swear, the reception on that island can be-”

“I heard you, mother,” I said. “When did it happen?”

“A few minutes ago. I’m still holding his hand.”

“How the-”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to tell myself that this was only my mother. She had always been cold and distant, and when things got emotionally hard it only heightened that emotional distance. For as long as I could remember, she had been that way, and it was simply how she got through her life.

I couldn’t blame her, even though my anger was raging out of control.

“I need your help with the funeral arrangements. Your father doesn’t want me planning the entire thing,” she said.

“I’ll be on the next plane home. I won’t be getting in until late tomorrow, though. Will you be alright until then?” I asked.

“Oh, I will be just fine,” she sighed. “Should I pick you up somewhere? Or is Kevin coming with you?”

I stopped and allowed her question to sink in. Was Kevin coming with me? Surely he would insist on coming if he knew what had just happened. But, was this something I wanted to open him back up to? Him and my mother didn’t have a good relationship when we were dating in college. Was that something I really wanted to deal with now? Volleying between the two of them while planning my father’s funeral?

No. No, it wasn’t.

“No, he’s not. Maddie might be with me, but Kevin won’t be.”

“I suppose that’s for the best. See you tomorrow evening. Shall I have a late dinner prepared?”

“Have you even cried yet, mom?” I asked.

But, all she did was sigh.

“See you tomorrow evening.”

She hung up the phone and I immediately began packing. I pulled open all the drawers and tossed everything onto the bed. I pulled my suitcase out from the closet, tossed it onto the bed, and began stuffing everything in. What I couldn’t fit I could always come back for, and something told me I would be back on this island before our group’s next planned vacation anyway.

I told my father I’d bring him to this island one day and never did…

“Daddy,” I breathed.

I felt my chest heaving as tears poured down my face. My hands began to shake and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I ran into the bathroom, gathering all my toiletries before I ran them back to the suitcase, and I threw them on top of my clothes before I went for my shoes. I shoved as many of them as I could get before casting aside the ones that weren’t necessary, and I zipped my bag up before I leaned over on top of it and sobbed.

My daddy was gone.

Just… just gone.

I felt my nightgown flutter around my ankles and realized I couldn’t go home like this. My mother would throw a fit if she knew I flew halfway across the world in nothing but my pajamas, and I wasn’t ready to deal with one of her cold-hearted fits. She had this cool way of talking down her nose at you while she berated you for something she didn’t approve of, whether or not her opinion was asked for.

And trust me. Usually, it was never asked for.

I strode over to the dresser and ripped my nightgown over my head. I tossed it onto the floor before I stuck my legs into a pair of jeans, and I pulled a sweater over my head before I searched for a pair of flats. I ran around the room, my eyes searching for a matching pair of shoes my mother would keep her mouth shut on, and as I careened around the bed I smashed my pinky toe against the banister.

“Holy… fuck!”

The pain was blinding. It took my to my knees while the whole of my body trembled, and my toe immediately turned black and blue. Of course I’d break my toe trying to find a pair of shoes suitable enough for my mother. Of course this would happen. Of course my father would die while I was on a vacation, being selfish and never bringing him to the island his daughter had purchased.

Of course I would have to board a plane at three in the morning before digesting for seventeen hours the fact that there was now no buffer between my mother’s cold demeanor and my unwillingness to interact with it. Of course the only person I’d modeled my life after would now be the person I’m burying.

In the wintertime.

Before Christmas.

All at once, I felt everything bubble up to the surface. I ran my fingertips through my tangled hair and felt my jaw unhinge on my face. An unearthly sound peeled from my throat, shaking my entire ribcage and shattering my vocal cords. I shrieked and cried while my tears flooded down my neck. I pulled at my hair and shook with my anger, screaming until I’d completely run out of breath.

I was so lightheaded from the sheer force of my emotional breakdown that I tumbled into the footboard of my bed.

Head first.

The party was bullshit, this election year was insanity, and Daddy was dead.

My beautiful, vibrant, resourceful father… was gone.