I dashed around my room, grabbing fresh underwear and a blouse to replace the ruined one—I just hoped no one had been taking notice of my attire this morning when I called in to collect Cain, or this could be the end of my career—and hurried into the bathroom to clean myself up. I was terrified he would do a runner. My heart pounded at my ribs and I kept bursting into tears. The shitty thing was that he had the wrong end of the stick completely. I was terrified that the way he had made me feel when he was making love to me was just that… I felt loved. The way he worshipped my body as if I meant something to him and he meant something to me. The intensity of my desire for him went beyond lust. How could I possibly have felt so connected to the man? It was utterly, ridiculously, effing crazy. You don’t fall for someone so quickly. I know they do in romance novels but this was real life.

I needed to get a grip.

My career was on the line here. And love wasn’t as important as that… was it? Especially when the so-called feelings were one-sided. He was clearly a player. The way he handled my body didn’t ring true as someone who believed in monogamy. Nor did it ring true as someone who couldn’t remember his own life. I began to question how genuine he was being. And that was wrong of me. This was my fault… my guilt making these thoughts occur. If I hadn’t let things get so far, I wouldn’t even be thinking this way.

Once I was dressed, I ran down the stairs as quick as I could and found him sitting on my couch. His head was hanging down and he looked a little lost. Was I wrong about him? A tiny spark of hope lit up inside of me. He must have heard me come in because he stood and turned. His face was a mask of seriousness.

I forced a weak smile. “Hey. Thanks for not running away.”

He snorted derisively. “What am I, eight?”

“I just meant—”

“Yeah, I know what you meant, Kelly. I wouldn’t want to ruin your fucking life would I? Oh wait… I already did that.” The bitterness in his voice made nausea rise up my throat.

I stepped toward him. “Please don’t be angry with me, Cain.”

He held him arms out wide. “Angry? Why would I be angry, huh? I got what I wanted. It’s all good, baby.”

Okay, I’m going to throw up. He can’t mean that. But then again, how could I blame him if he did?

“Okay… okay.” My eyes began to sting once more and I nodded but couldn’t bring myself to look in his eyes. I didn’t want to see what was there. I doubted that it would be good. “I just thought that it was… I don’t know… more to you.”

He laughed without humour. “Ha, I can’t believe you actually thought I wanted something other than a quick fuck. Man, talk about gullible.”

I closed my eyes as tears came once again. It served me right.

But it hurt like hellfire.

The walk back to the hospital felt like the longest journey I’d ever taken. He walked a couple of steps in front of me and didn’t speak. I was clueless at that point as to how he would handle returning to the place he considered a prison. I just hoped that he would be decent about things and not make the situation any worse than it already felt.

Once we arrived back at the ward, Patty was waiting at the nurses’ station and she visibly relaxed as we walked toward her.

“So, did you enjoy your taste of Scotland, Cain?”

He glanced at me briefly before answering. “Oh yeah, it tasted amazing. Shame it couldn’t last.” The double meaning wasn’t lost on me.

“Well, maybe Doctor Darrow will take you again soon.” I cringed at her choice of words.

“Nah, I doubt that. She has better people… erm… things to do with her time.”

Ouch.

“Well as long as you enjoyed your wee taste of freedom, eh?” Patty was relentless.

“Oh yeah. I really enjoyed it. It was fun while it lasted.” He glanced at me again. “Well, excuse me, ladies, but I think I’ve had enough exercise for one day. I’m going to go play some cards with the guys.” He turned and walked away.

“Is everything okay, dear? You look like you’ve been crying. Did something happen?” The look of concern in Patty’s eyes had me on the verge of tears again.

I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. It’s just the wind out there is quite strong, and I think I may be coming down with a cold.”

“See, I always tell you that you work too hard, Kelly. You maybe need some time off.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right, Patty.”

She laughed. “Well, it had to happen sometime, I guess.”

Bless her. After the way I had snapped at her lately, I really didn’t deserve her friendship. But I was more than grateful for it. I smiled and turned away to make the short journey to my office, feeling more than a little grateful that she hadn’t noticed my change of clothing.

Although it was my day off, and I could’ve gone home, but I was afraid I’d burst out sobbing before I made it to the hospital’s lobby. My office was the closest safe spot I could think of. Once I was behind my desk again, I rested my head on my arms and let the tears flow. If only time machines had been invented. I would climb right in there and go back to life before Cain Somers or Cameron Iss or whatever the hell his name was.

There was a knock on the door, and Alex walked in before I had time to wipe away the evidence of my pity party. I peered up at him angrily. “Isn’t it customary to wait until you’re invited in, Alex?”

He scrunched his brow. “I’m a doctor not a vampire, Kelly.” Huh? “Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be off today?” Without waiting for my answer, he continued. “Word on the Patty-vine has it that you’re feeling under the weather.”

Good grief, talk about word travelling fast. “Oh, yeah, just a little tired, that’s all.”

“Well, I’ve been investigating, and you haven’t taken any holiday time this year yet. What’s that all about? Even today, on your day off, here you are. Don’t you have any friends?”

“Excuse me?”

“Friends? You know? Those people who put up with us when no one else will? The ones who encourage us to get drunk and let our hair down.”

“Alex, I know what a friend is, and of course I have friends.”

“Well, good. As of now you’re on annual leave.”

What? “You can’t force me to take leave. That’s preposterous.”

“No, Kelly. What’s preposterous is the fact that you never stop working. Today is a prime example of that. You go home and work on cases. You do the same on weekends. You never switch your brain off. As your immediate manager, I’m telling you to take some time.”

“I can’t just up and leave my patients.”

“Yes, you can. We have a member of staff on secondment whilst his department goes through some changes. He can step in. Magnus Reilly. I think you know him already. Anyway, you’re so efficient at your note keeping, he can slip right in for a couple of weeks.”

I shook my head. This wasn’t right. “But… but Cain Somers… we’re close to a breakthrough there—”

“Yes, and Magnus has dealt with amnesia patients before. Don’t sweat it. It’s time you took a break.”

I swallowed, trying to dislodge the ball of emotion tightening my throat. I wanted to be at home in all honesty. But I was scared of what may come to light when I wasn’t here. Would I have a job to return to?

“Do I get a say in all this?”

Alex smiled—it was a first—and shook his head. “Nope. Doctor’s orders.”

I nodded and my lip began to tremble.

“Hey, you’re not being suspended. I’m just concerned about you. Crying at work isn’t something you ever do. It just proves to me that you need some time out. That’s all. Okay?”

Once again I nodded, unable to speak in case I began to sob and told him everything. I grabbed my bag and slipped on my coat again. Suddenly a wave of tiredness washed over me. No wonder, considering the antics of the day.

With a small, feeble smile, I stopped beside Alex. “Thank you. And… I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.”

“Not in the slightest. Don’t go thinking that. Just take a couple of weeks, go away somewhere warm. Chill out.”

Going away somewhere warm sounded like just the thing I needed. Perhaps I would do just that. As I left the building, I pulled out my phone and hit dial.

“Hi, Kelly. How are you doing?” Clara’s friendly and concerned voice was my undoing and I broke down.

“Oh, Clara… everything is going wrong,” I sobbed.

Without hesitation she replied, “I’m free right now. Come on over.”

I agreed and hung up as I inhaled a deep calming breath. I wanted to feel relief, but I didn’t because as much as I wanted to confide completely in someone, in Clara, I knew I couldn’t. Once again I would have to lie, and that thought broke me yet again.

I left the hospital with a heaviness in my heart and made my way to see my therapist for another session where I would play ‘hide the truth’.