I awoke and glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It was just past nine in the morning. I didn’t have to be anywhere, and I was determined to relish the luxury of something Cain and I didn’t have much of. Time. We had made love most of the night, and I had chosen to ignore the heartbreaking notion that soon he would leave to return to his life across the Atlantic.

We had eventually collapsed naked into his bed, wrapped around each other, at three in the morning. He had made me come every way he knew how, and I was paying for it now with the tenderness of every muscle in my body. But boy, was it worth it. I rolled onto my side and propped myself up so that I could watch him sleeping. He lay on his back with one muscular tattooed arm above his head. His face was tilted toward mine and his other arm was stretched out under my pillow.

He mumbled in his sleep, and I leaned closer to try and hear what he was saying.

“Melody… baby… love you so much… no one else.”

My stomach plummeted as if I were falling, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping to halt the tears that needled my eyes. I turned to climb out of bed, but as I tried to stand I was pulled back as Cain grabbed my wrist.

“Hey, sexy. Where d’you think you’re going?” His gruff morning voice turned my insides to jelly.

I sniffed and made sure to stay facing away from him. “Oh, I was just going to the bathroom.”

“Yeah? Well, hurry back, okay? I have an undercover issue you might be able to help me with.” He grabbed my other hand and slipped it beneath the duvet and curled my fingers around his erection with a chuckle. I forced a laugh and yanked my hand away, needing the distance from him and his distracting body. I stood once again and made my way out of the bedroom into the compact bathroom, where I sat on the toilet lid and dropped my head into my hands.

Not only would he be leaving me soon, but I would never fill his heart the way Melody had when she was alive… and still did after her death. That much was evident. I was kidding myself if I thought otherwise. Ten minutes later, and there was a bang on the bathroom door.

“Hey…. Hey, baby, are you okay?”

It irritated me when he referred to me with that supposed term of endearment. It irked me that I was jealous of a dead woman too, but the green-eyed monster was mostly definitely present, crouching there and laughing in my face, taunting me with ‘I told you so’.

I cleared my throat. “Y-yeah. Be out in a sec.”

“Come on, Kelly. I know there’s something wrong. Please tell me what it is. Was it the undercover thing? I… I didn’t meant to offend you. I… I guess I just didn’t want our lovemaking to be over, that’s all. And I was trying to be cute.”

“No, it’s fine.” I quickly splashed water on my face and dabbed it dry with Cain’s towel. I opened the door, and he stood there in his fitted boxers, looking all tousled and delicious. I couldn’t help but smile. “How dare you look so sexy when you first wake up when I look like this?”

He tilted his head to one side. “I don’t get what you mean. I see a sleep-deprived, incredibly sexy woman with a not-so-long-since-fucked hairdo and the best tits I have ever had the pleasure to devour.” My smile faded rapidly. “Aww, fuck, what did I say now?”

I pushed past him and began to gather my clothes. “I really should go.”

“Whoa, hey, stop. You’re doing that fucking meltdown thing again, and it makes me crazy. He grabbed my arms and turned me to face him. “Tell me what’s wrong. Now.” Gone was the playful man I had awoken to. I gazed up into his fierce blue eyes and gulped. Sheer dominance. “I mean it, Kelly. I can read you like a fucking book. Something is off with you, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

“You… you were talking in your sleep… about… about Melody.”

His nostrils flared and he closed his eyes. He released my arms and stepped backwards. Once he opened his eyes again, he stared at me with a pain-filled expression. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you should go.”

My lip began to tremble at his rejection, and I couldn’t speak. He walked to the bed and sat, dropping his head into his hands as I finished gathering my clothes and dressed in silence. I went into the bathroom, ran my fingers through my tangled hair, and dabbed concealer under my puffy eyes. Once I was ready to leave, I left the bathroom and returned to the bedroom. But Cain was gone.

I nervously walked through to the living room to retrieve my bag and found Cain standing looking out the window. He had slipped on a pair of jeans, but his torso was bare and I was once again reminded of his former life by the tattoos gracing his back.

I cleared my throat and he turned to face me. I managed a small smile. “I’ll go now.”

He nodded. “Sure… Take care, Kelly, okay?”

That’s it? That’s all he’s going to say? I was determined not to cry in front of him again and turned to leave, but anger got the better of me and I spun around to face him once more. “You know, Cain, I’m not the bad guy here. I wasn’t the one telling someone else how much I loved them in my sleep. So why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong? Why do I feel like you’ve just let me go?”

His responding sad smile made my stomach clench, and I was glad at that precise moment that I hadn’t eaten.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just… I just feel like I’m living with a ghost. When I’m awake I can’t stop thinking about you. But then… when I’m asleep it’s her haunting me. Maybe… maybe I just need to exorcise that ghost before I try to move on? I just don’t know. And… and I have to leave soon. We’re only going to get hurt if we carry on.”

His change of direction gave me whiplash again, and I shook my head. I had no clue what to say and I scrambled around my brain, trying to process his words. “Cain, you were the one who said you loved me. Remember that.”

I turned and walked out of the door before he could respond.

I watched her walk out the door and my stomach twisted and roiled. What the fuck was I doing? I was telling her I love her in one breath, then kicking her the fuck out in the next one? No wonder she was in tears when she left. She probably couldn’t keep up with me. I was struggling to keep the hell up with myself.

I walked back through to the bedroom, stripped my clothes off, and went to turn on the shower. Once my skin was clean again, I grabbed my towel only to discover it smelled of Kelly. There really was no escape. My head was fucked, and to say I was confused was an understatement.

Once I had pulled on clean clothes, I decided to try and lose myself in daytime TV; but pretty much as soon as I switched it on, the phone rang. I stared at it for a few moments, wondering if maybe Kelly had decided to give me another bitter piece of her mind about my treatment of her. I figured if she had, then I should at least hear her out.

“Yeah?”

“Mr Somers?” I recognised the male voice immediately.

“Yeah, what’s up, Doctor Clayton?”

“I have some great news. Your travel arrangements have been made, and you are cleared to return to Utah. We are recommending that you see a therapist over there to help you readjust, but we see no reason now why you can’t go home.”

A fucking double-edged sword.

I got to go back and try to find my sister, but that meant leaving Kelly behind. There was no point trying to convince her of a long-distance love affair. Not that she would agree to it anyway after my recent behaviour.

Realising I had fallen silent, I returned my focus to the call. “That’s… that’s great. Thank you. When will I be going back?”

“You have a few days whilst we finalise the arrangements. Your flight is booked for the twentieth.”

Fuck! I was going home five days before Christmas? Man, that was harsh. I thanked the doc with less enthusiasm than I should have and hung up.