I’m doing my best to keep my anger hidden. I’m not fully succeeding, but Hayden doesn’t need to know just how much fury I have bottled up inside of me now. Pistol, or Jack as she calls him, was a fucking waste of air. We should have killed him sooner. What kind of asshole would let his sister live like she did and use her on top of all that? Christ. I never liked the asshole, but even I was clueless when it came to how pathetic he truly was.

“He brought me out here. I knew he was in a motorcycle club, he talked about his brothers. I assumed that’s where I was going, but when I got here, he had arranged it so I was living with the Shadow Dwellers…and he wasn’t there. He wasn’t even a member. It hit me as strange, you know?” she asks, but I don’t answer.

I don’t particularly know what to say. Hayden is embarrassed. I can tell by the way she’s refusing to look at me.

She sighs and begins talking again, “I didn’t know how these things worked. He said they were his friends—allies who promised to help take care of me. He mentioned something about being involved with some heavy shit, and he didn’t want me to get caught in the crossfire. He said the Dwellers would protect me.”

“Protect you from who?” I ask. Now it’s all I can do not to fucking throw something across the room. He was cutting our throats and selling his sister to get allies to hide from us. Jesus, I wish he was still alive so I could kill him all over again.

“He just said his own club was getting involved in something illegal, and he was going to make sure he didn’t go down with them. He didn’t want me to be used against him—at least that’s what he said,” she explains. The tone of her voice leads me to believe, she knows better now. Did she find out the hard way what a twisted bastard he was?

“So, he just left you with those assholes and you stayed?” I growl, without thinking. My frustration and my anger both getting the better of me. I know the instant I say it, that it’s a mistake. Her body goes completely solid. She pulls away from me, and for once I let her go. She stands up, looking down at me, and I see the pain in her eyes, but it’s the hurt that is shining inside them that bothers me more.

“Don’t you judge me, Michael. I see what an idiot I was now, but back then…Back then Blade was the first person who seemed like he ever gave a damn about me. I was young and stupid, sure. But, he made me feel like someone cared. I’d never had that and I wanted it. I needed it.”

“He’s a fucking monster,” I growl, more upset that she cared for the idiot at all. Somewhere in my head, I was convinced that he had raped her. That he had hurt her. There was no way someone like Hayden could care about that fucking piece of shit. I don’t like knowing that she did. I hate it.

Hayden looks at me and holds her hand over her stomach. “I know that now, but for a while…he wasn’t. For a while…he was good to me, Michael.”

“And when did he stop being…good to you?”

“Do you have to be an asshole?”

“It’s a simple question.” I shrug, knowing my tone made it anything but simple. I’m being stupid, but I can’t get over the fact that she once cared for that fuckwad.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore with you,” she says, walking away. I watch her leave, but follow quickly. I stop her in the kitchen, spinning her around to face me.

“We need to talk about this,” I growl. I’m mad, but I honestly don’t know if it’s at her, or myself.

“No, we don’t. You’re being a dick, and I don’t have any idea why!”

“I don’t like the idea of you caring for that asshole,” I admit, before I can stop myself.

“I’m pregnant! Did you think I just got that way magically? Of course, I cared for him. If I hadn’t, I would have never slept with him! How did you think this happened?” she asks, exasperated, indicating to her stomach with a nod of her head.

“I thought he forced himself on you,” I growl.

She takes a step back, her face going white. “You thought I was raped?”

“It made sense. You have these panic attacks out of nowhere. You live like a hermit and you’re afraid of your shadow. What the fuck-else was I supposed to think?”

“Wow. You’ve really thought about this,” she whispers, keeping her face down so I can’t see what she’s thinking.

“Of course I have. Why the hell else do you think I’ve been afraid to fuck you?” I growl. “I didn’t want to scare you.”

“Afraid to fuck me?” she asks, and I scowl.

“Damn it, Hayden,” I mutter, rubbing my hand across my beard. I’m not handling this well. Fucking shit, I’m not handling any of this like I should.

“You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving,” I tell her stubbornly. “I can’t leave you alone until we get your ex-boyfriend and his crew contained.” I tell her that coldly. I know the words wound. They were meant to because I’m an asshole. They were meant to, because I’m feeling jealousy over Hayden, and I don’t like it. Her head jerks up as I deliver my verbal slap.

“Fine. Then I’ll leave,” she says, and the tears shining in her eyes makes my stomach turn. Her hurt takes my breath away, and I feel like I’ve been sucker punched.

Before I can react, she’s out the door. I shake my head thinking she’s bluffing and just throwing a fit. She can’t go anywhere. So, I cross my arms and wait for her to come back in. A few minutes later, she still hasn’t walked through the door. I step outside, intent on dragging her back inside, but when I open the door, her little tinker-toy of a car is backing out of the driveway. How the fuck did she get the keys to that piece of shit?

Motherfucker.