It’s a light grey outside, barely morning, when the phone buzzing across my nightstand wakes me.

I blink in the misty dawn, momentarily stopping to grin at the face sleeping against my chest, her blonde hair teasing and tickling my nose.

But the phone goes again, and reluctantly, I reach for it, frowning at the local number I don’t recognize.

“Silas?”

Her voice is broken and delicate sounding - hushed and scared.

I frown. “Stephanie?”

There’s a soft sobbing sound that comes hitching through the phone, and I sit up slightly, alertness flooding into me.

“Steph, what’s wrong?”

Ivy stirs against my chest, her eyelids fluttering against my skin before she slowly raises a sleepy face my way.

“Silas, can you-” Stephanie’s voice hitches again over the phone. “Your uncle, he-”

For one horrible, fucked-up and excited second, I think maybe he’s dead.

She sobs. “He’s been drinking and, and-”

Her voice breaks.

“Steph, you need to tell me what happened.”

“He didn’t mean it, Silas,” she says quietly. “I know that.”

My eyes narrow as I sit up fully then. “Steph, what. Happened.”

“He just, he just- I don’t know what I did, Silas. I don’t know what I did to make him so angry.”

My blood runs cold, the anger flaring up inside of me.

“Steph, did he hit you?”

Ivy’s awake now, her own brow wrinkled as she looks at me.

“Can you just come over,” Steph says, her voice a whisper again. “I think he just needs someone here to- I- I don’t-”

“Steph, I’m on my way.”

I toss the phone to the side as I start to swing my legs out of bed.

Ivy chews on her bottom lip, looking at me worriedly. “Everything okay?”

“It will be,” I growl, yanking pants and a shirt on. “Look, stay here. I’ll be back soon.”

* * *

The front door to Declan’s house is half open. But whatever sense of nagging dread I feel walking up to the place turns to ice in my veins at the sound of a scream as I step inside.

I dash into the living room to see Stephanie on the floor with my uncle standing above her with his fist raised.

“Declan!” I roar, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back before he can strike her again. I yank him away from her and slam him against the wall as he bellows at me.

“Oh fuck off, you little cunt!”

I slam him back against the wall by the shoulders, rattling framed pictures and shelves of china he’s never used.

“You keep your hands off her!” I bellow in his face, knocking him against the wall again.

He reeks of whiskey, his face red and puffy and his eyes wild. But he stops fighting me. His eyes narrow as he sneers out a grin.

“Oh, now he’s interested in family going-ons.”

“This isn’t a family ‘going-on’, you prick, this is you beating on your fucking wife.”

His eyes narrow again as his lip curls.

“She call you?”

Steph sobs quietly behind me.

“Did she?”

I shake my head. “You’ve been drinking, Declan.”

He sneers at her over my shoulder

“You suck his dick too you little whore?”

“That’s enough!” I shove him into the wall again. “Dec, I’m warning you.”

“You’re warning me what, kid.”

I glare at him.

“You need to calm down.”

He bares his teeth for a second like a cornered dog, looking like he might try and fight me again before he goes still under my hands.

He breathes.

“I’m going to let you go,” I say steadily.

“Goddamn right you are.”

“Declan.”

He glares at me.

“Fine.”

I slowly drop my hands from his shoulders, my stance still ready to pounce.

“What’s this about, Dec.”

He laughs bitterly. “Jesus Christ kid, you want nothing to do with me and now you’re interested. Shit, if you’re feeling that curious, I’ve still got that job I could tell you about.”

“You’re still stuck on that, huh?”

His lip curls again. “Yeah, kid, I’m still stuck on the twenty million that’ll be sitting in the strong box in the North Shore Shipping manager’s office after their big fundraising hoopla.”

I stare at him. “You’re talking about the ‘Carry On’ fundraiser.”

He nods, and I cringe.

“The fundraiser for fallen firefighters?” I shake my head, staring at him with a new level of disgust. “You’re fucking unbelievable, Declan.”

“Oh fuck off, kid. It’s twenty mil, and those firefighters have fucking life insurance and union pensions. The fuck do they need that kind of money for?”

“They don’t, Declan. It’s for their families you asshole.”

He shrugs. “Not my fucking problem. All work has risk. They knew theirs, I know mine.” He jabs a finger at my chest. “Don’t pretend that fucking the Reverend’s daughter again suddenly gave you a fucking conscious.”

I growl low in my throat, but he wags a finger at me. “Your cut would be five million, kid. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

“I told you, I’m not interested.”

“Jesus Christ, what fuckin happened to you, kid.”

Declan pushes me way as he stumbles for the bar cart in the corner of the room and grabs a bottle of Jameson.

I frown as he pours himself a glass.

“Dec-”

“Fuck off, you’re not my Ma.”

There’s a sniffling sound behind me, and I turn back to Stephanie, still cowering in the corner of the room.

“Steph, maybe you should go.”

She blinks, like she’s not really hearing me. Declan pokes me in the back with a boney finger.

“I need you for this job, kid.”

“I’m not doing it. Not in a million fucking years, Dec.”

He sways on his feet, whiskey sloshing. “It’s too much to walk away from, and you damn well know it.”

“Dec, I can only say no so many fucking times.”

He looks at me silently, nodding.

“Alright,” he mutters, his eyes narrowing at me. “Fine, you want to play that game?”

“I don’t want to play games, Declan, I just-”

“You’re doing it.”

I sigh. “I don’t think you’re hearing me-”

“Did you know car accidents are the number four killer in this country? Number four, kid.” He shakes his head as he takes a drink. “You know, it’d be a damn shame if that family had another crash disrupt their lives.”

I go still.

“Accidents happen all the time, kid.” He chuckles, sipping his whiskey. “But shit, you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“You wouldn’t,” I growl, my muscles tightening and my hands clenching into solid fists.

“Wouldn’t I?” He grins. “It’s twenty mil, you prick. There ain’t a whole lot I wouldn’t do for that.”

I bare my teeth as I take a step towards him, fists raised. “You don’t go near that family,” I growl.

“And I won’t.” He shrugs. “If you do the job.”

“I could kill you right here instead.”

He laughs. “No, you couldn’t.” He chuckles through another drink. “Trust me, kid, I know killers, and you ain’t one.”

“I’m warning you, Dec.” I grab his shirt, my fists raise.

He grins.

“You gonna hit me, kid? Go ahead, hit me.”

I can feel the punch. I can imagine my fist knocking that smug, sleepy grin off his face right here in his own house.

But I don’t.

He shrugs, like he knew I wouldn’t.

“Or don’t, your call. But I swear to God you’ll do this job, or my threat holds.”

He knocks my hand from his shirt and straightens it before stumbling into the other room with his drink.

I turn back to Steph, who’s on her feet now in the far corner of the room staring at me with big, wide, tear-stained eyes.

“We should go.”

She blinks. “Go?”

I step across the room and take her arm. “Yes, go. I’m taking you out of here, Steph.”

She frowns. “But I live here, Silas.”

I stare at her. “Stephanie, he hit you.”

“I- I know,” she says quietly.

She looks down at her feet, picking at her cuticles.

“He’s just drunk, Silas. He didn’t mean nothing.”

I blink. “Stephanie-”

“Thank you, Silas.” She looks up, smiling crookedly. “For coming over, I mean.”

She reaches out and squeezes my arm. “You’re one of the good ones, you know.”

“Steph, I can’t just leave you-”

“I’m fine, Silas.” She smiles again, blinking as she reaches up and brushes a tear from her eyes. “I’m really fine.”

I’m starting the truck up in the driveway when Declan comes stumbling out of his house. He leans against the door of my truck, pointing at me through the open window.

“Family first, kid. I need you for this job, and you will fucking do it.”

“The hell I am.” I start to put the truck into reverse, but he grabs my shirt.

“Tell me I won’t’ do it, kid,” he growls, his whiskey breath sour as he leers close to me.

“Tell me I won’t and see how wrong you are.” His brows knit. “Five million, kid. One last job. Shit, you don’t even have to tell her.”

His lips curl into that evil smile.

“Think about it. You could start that little side business I know you’ve been sniffing around about, and you could give that Hammond girl everything she’s always wanted. You could have it all, Silas - live the fucking dream. And all it takes is one easy job. Shit, we’re not even bringing guns on it, it’s that easy.”

I stare straight ahead, pretending like I’m ignoring him.

But I’m not.

Slowly, my hand moves the gearshift into park before I even know what I’m doing.

I grew up taking what I wanted, and what I needed. Consequences and morals be damned, the lure of the take that high you get from the rush of it was like a drug to me even back then. And now? Now it’s like I’ve gone straight and someone’s offering me one last hit. I’m sober, and someone’s dragging the edge of a needle across my skin, or letting me smell the sweet acrid aroma of alcohol.

I’m a junky, and this is what falling off that horse feels like.

I suck in a breath of air, staring straight ahead, but unable to ignore the devil on my shoulder - Declan, offering me the promise of finally going legit in this world. He’s offering me the life I want for one last sliver of my soul.

And it’s getting harder to say no.

But then all of a sudden, the dream and the fantasy of that life within my grasp goes drifting away like harbor mist, replaced by something new. Something better.

Ivy.

The fuck am I thinking?

I have the life I want, or at least, I’m on the path to get that life. And this time, I’m doing it honestly. I’m doing it like a man.

And I’ll be damned if I fuck that up again. Ever.

I tighten my hands on the wheel as I turn to my uncle.

“I’m going to say this one last time, Declan.” I narrow my eyes at him. “The answer is no. And I swear to God, if you try and hurt Ivy, or go anywhere fucking near her, I will bury you in the ground.”

Declan just grins.

“Oh, her?” He shakes his head, swirling the whiskey around his glass. “Shit, kid, you think I’d ever hurt poor little Ivy Hammond? What kind of monster do you think I am?”

I’m opening my mouth to tell him exactly what kind of monster I think he is when he continues.

“I ain’t going to hurt her, kid,” he grins at me.

“I’m going to hurt the rest of them. The little sister maybe? The kid who’s leg you fucked up?” His eyes narrow at me as he smiles horribly. “How about that little one? The kid with the dad that ran off?”

I roar as I start to shove open the truck door, but Declan stops it, shoving it shut again.

“I’ll hurt every single fucking one of them but her, you little shit,” he hisses out, his face red and his eyes wild. “And I’ll make damn sure her and all the rest of them know exactly why. And she’ll hate you for it.”

He jabs a finger at me through the open car window.

“And when the light goes out of her eyes, and that little puppy-dog love bullshit you think you’ve got turns to ash around you?”

He straightens up, his face pinched as he stares at me.

“Then you’ll know exactly the kind of monster I am, kid,” he says quietly.

The fight goes out of me like a snuffed out candle, and I blink as I sit back in the seat, feeling my heart racing.

“When.”

I say it with zero emotion, my heart sinking through my feet.

Declan grins as he looks up at the grey early morning sky. “Bout three hours.”

I whirl at him. “What?”

“You heard me.”

I can feel my pulse skipping, the horrible sinking feeling spreading through me like a disease as I stare straight ahead through the windshield.

“No guns?”

Declan’s still grinning at me, like he’s won.

And he has.

“No guns. One guard who’ll probably be sleeping. Two locked doors me and the boys can take care of, and one dial safe I need you for.”

He knocks his knuckles against the car door.

“Ten minutes of your life, Silas. Ten lousy minutes and you’ll walk with five mil and you can go do whatever you fucking want with the good Reverend’s daughter.”

Ivy.

I can’t just go do this. I can’t just leave her again without an explanation. Last time that cost me eight years and the only love in this world I’ve ever known, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen again. And even if every single cell in my body is screaming no, and screaming for me to run away from this and never look back, I know I can’t do that.

Not when it’s their safety on the line.

“I need to swing by my place first,” I say quietly.

Declan laughs. “So you can spill it to your little girlfriend?” He snorts. “Not happening.”

I shake my head. “No, I just need to change,” I lie, pulling at the grungy t-shirt I threw on before coming over.

Declan eyes me. “Fine. We’ll swing by on the way.”

He grins. “Now come have a fucking drink while we wait for John and the van.”

I step from the truck in slow motion, like I’m watching my actions from outside my own body. The light starts to break across the harbor, the sun chasing away the creeping chill of the New England night.

Except I can’t shake it.

I’m still cold.

Because something tells me, I’m about to make the biggest mistake of me life, again.

And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.