10 Years Ago:
“Josh.”
The kid looks up quickly, his eyes showing that little flicker of fear people tend to get when I address them in this tone. Not that I give a fuck.
Josh Stedman is a little bitch of a senior who’s somehow on the lacrosse team. He’s also somehow dating Anastasia Bell, and for that alone, I fucking hate him.
Things like seniority mean nothing to my friends and I, seeing as we’ve been ruling this school since we were freshmen. But it’s funny how much Josh, who isn’t a small guy, is legitimately scared of me. I mean the guy never even comes onto my property, even to see her. He drives her to school most days, but he picks her up at the end of our driveway, like a complete pussy. Well, a smart pussy, I guess. But a pussy nonetheless.
He might not know my - well, whatever it was I have for Ana. But he’s smart enough to see ticking me off is unhealthy. I can only hope Ana is telling him scary stories about my wrath when they’re together.
Josh hasn’t fucked her, I know that. He might not’ve bragged to me about it, but he’d have bragged to someone on the team if the little dork had finally lost his virginity his senior year. And through that, I’d have known. Trust me.
So, I know he hadn’t slept with her yet, but I’m also fucking done waiting for it to happen. I’m also done waiting for her to realize what a tool he is, so I’m about to do what I do best: throw my wrath and my wealth around in ways that gets shit done.
Josh swallows quickly as he looks up from his GQ, or some other douchey “how to be a guy” magazine.
“Hey, Sebastian.” He says it warily.
I grin.
“How we doing, Stedman?”
He swallows again. “Good, man.”
“Great.”
“So, what’s up, dude? Are you looking for Ana?”
I frown for a second, wondering if I’m that fucking obvious before I shake my head.
“No, Josh, I’m looking for you.”
His brows knit. “What’s up, bro?”
Bro.
The idea that Ana is dating and possibly close to losing her v-card to a fucking douchebag like Stedman, who reads GQ magazine and says “bro” makes my fucking blood boil. But I rein it in.
Wait for the plan.
“Listen, Josh. Do you know Kendra Wallace?” I turn and nod over my shoulder at Kendra, leaning against my Maserati in the school parking lot, and also looking her absolute sluttiest. Which, if you know Kendra Wallace, is really saying something.
I’m paying her, by the way. To dress like that, to lean her tight little ass against the four hundred thousand dollar car, and most importantly, to smile and wave at Josh when he turns to look her way.
Josh nods. “Oh, yeah.” He smiles past me at her. “Yeah, I know her.”
“She’s pretty hot, right?”
He laughs nervously.
“I- yeah, I mean, she’s pretty I guess.”
He’s going to fight this. Which is good. If he fights it at first, it’s going to make it so much sweeter when he breaks.
“She’s into you, you know.”
His brow goes up. “What?” Josh laughs nervously again. “Nah, man. I don’t think so.”
I shrug. “Bro, I do know. She was talking all sorts of game about you.”
His eyes get a little wide.
“What?”
And just like that, he’s swallowing the bait. Just like that, my hook is sliding into his lip, and the line goes tight. And while I might not give a single shit about Josh in this whole thing, I do care about the fact that Ana’s going to get burned in this whole thing.
Badly.
I’m not monster enough to ignore that part, but I also know it’s the only path here. Josh is a dipshit and a nothing to me. Ana is I’m not sure what to me, but whatever it is, it’s in deep. And watching the two of them slowly move closer together is shredding me.
So it stops, now.
I smile coolly at Ana’s soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.
“Oh, big time, buddy. I tried to hook up with Kendra the other night, but she wasn’t having it. Wouldn’t shut up about you.”
Lies, all of it. Actually, Ash had his dick in her mouth a few days ago, so if she was talking about Josh Stedman, I guarantee it was comically muffled.
Josh swallows.
“She- really?”
“Buddy,” I smile like a shark, putting my hand on his shoulder and squeezing just a hair more than might be reasonable for “buddies” to do.
“She won’t shut up about it.”
Josh laughs nervously. “I mean, I’m with Ana.”
No fucking shit.
“And how’s that going?”
I know how it’s going. It’s going like they’re goddamn Amish virgins. But fuck all if I’m going to keep waiting around and grinding my teeth at night waiting for that to change.
Fuck if I’m going to watch Josh fucking Stedman take her virginity.
“Gotten laid yet, Josh?”
I obviously know what the answer is, but I need to press him on this. After all, he’s an eighteen-year-old guy who’s never busted a nut inside a girl. This is definitely a point of conflict for him.
Josh laughs nervously again. “I, uh, I don’t know if I should talk to you about—”
“I’m not asking about your feelings, bud, I’m just asking if you’ve gotten your dick wet yet.”
His mouth twists, looking exactly like the fish on the line he is.
“I mean, you and her are friends and all.”
“We’re not.”
That part’s true, at least.
Josh slowly shakes his head. “Ana wants to take it slow.”
I smile.
Of course she does.
“Graduation’s right around the corner, Josh. You going to walk across that stage still holding onto that v-card?”
“Well, we’ve got prom.” His attempt at putting confidence into the words is pathetic.
I laugh. “Josh, it’s not happening at prom.”
“I mean, it could.”
Not if I have anything to fucking say about it.
“It won’t. No girl in history who hasn’t put out before prom will do it on prom. That’s just in the movies, Josh.”
His face falls, and I grin. Josh puts on a good, noble face, but deep down, he’s an animal just like the rest of us.
“But Kendra over there?” I smile. “See, Kendra’s ready to go.”
I can see the conflict warring across his face.
“Look, Bastian, thanks for telling me, man. But, I mean, I’m with Ana, and I really like—”
“I’ll give you five thousand dollars.”
Josh freezes.
“What?”
“You heard me. And I’ll pay for your limo, your tux, your dinner, and a hotel suite after the prom. With Kendra, not Ana.”
Josh swallows thickly, his eyes darting from me back to Kendra, then back to me.
“Jesus, Sebastian. Are you and Ana—”
“Me and Ana are nothing, Josh. I’m just looking out for you.” I smile coolly like we’re buddies. “Lacrosse playoffs are coming up soon, and I need you to get that first lay out of the way before so you can get your head in the game. This is for the team.”
Josh isn’t looking at me anymore. He’s just looking at Kendra.
Game. Set. Match.
“The limo, the dinner, the hotel, and the cash, Josh. And more importantly, you go home with Kendra today and get laid.”
His head spins back to me so fast I swear I see him wince.
“Now?”
I nod. “Now or never, buddy. Time to step up to the plate.”
He swallows thickly, his pulse beating in his neck. Finding people’s weak spots and pressing them on it is kind of my specialty, but this was almost too easy.
“I- I’m supposed to pick Ana up after—”
“I can give her a ride.” I shrug. “I mean her house is on my way home.”
Josh misses the joke, because Kendra, with her short skirt, her fuck-me boots, her blonde ponytail, and her pouty, dick-sucking lips have his entire attention.
Josh isn’t here right now, please leave a message after the beep.
“Now or never, Stedman,” I say slowly, even though I’m one hundred percent sure he doesn’t need any more encouragement.
And just like that, like the first domino toppling into the second, the whole chain reaction starts.
Josh takes the deal, of course. He takes Kendra home to his house, and he fucks her - timed perfectly by me, by the way, because I graciously offer to give Ana a ride to his house when she can’t find him.
There’s a moment before I pull away from Stedman’s place when I’m watching Ana walk up to the side door by the garage, where I know her heart’s about to get broken into a million little pieces.
And I let it happen.
Three things happen that day:
One, I get Josh Stedman laid.
Two, my plan works. Ana and Stedman break up.
But then there’s three, and three ends up crushing me harder than I ever imagined. Because the third thing that happens after that first domino falls is that Anastasia Bell gets her heart shattered. Not bruised, not even broken, like I may have thought and may have prepared myself for.
A part of her dies that day.
And I killed it.
I am exactly the monster you think I am.
* * *
Present:
“You haven’t told her yet?”
I scowl, glaring out the window of the upstairs library. It’s one of the few rooms I’ve officially “moved into” since coming back here. I reach for the pack of smokes sitting on the big wooden reading table in front of me. I say nothing, ignoring the scowling looks from Asher, my lawyer and friend, and Brent, my financial manager and- well, my financial manager.
“Goddamnit, Crown,” Asher swears, his baritone voice rumbling in the stillness of the big room.
“I’m building up to it.”
He stands, glowering at me and pushing his fingers through his thick dark hair. Brent purses his lips and frowns through his ridiculous Steve Jobs style rimless glass.
“Sebastian, I have to agree with Asher. Saying and being are two very different things when it comes to this, and with an account of this size, not to mention your recent publicity, there’s going to be a lot of eyes on this.”
“I’m aware of that,” I mutter.
I hate being in this position. Cornered. Out of options. Helpless. They’re feelings that make me furious - feelings that make me want to go out and drink and consume until I can’t feel them anymore. Feelings that make me want to fuck someone like my personal plaything until I empty my balls across her tits.
Ana’s pert little handfuls come to mind.
“This isn’t going to work. You know that, right?”
I ignore Ash, scowling at his intrusion into my daydream. I light the cigarette between my lips and toss the lighter and the pack across the table towards them both
Brent shakes his head.
“Quit, I told you,” Ash growls.
“I know you keep saying that.”
“Look, Sebastian,” Brent sighs. “You know if it comes down to it, I’ll say whatever you need me to-”
“If we could not discuss perjury while the fucking lawyer is in the room?” Ash hisses, glaring at Brent.
I grin to myself. I at least have to make a passing attempt at being cordial to Brent. Mostly. Kind of. Ash has the luxury of being fairly naked in his disdain for him.
“Hey, someone has to have his back,” Brent mutters.
“Like you had his back when you let him and Dylan get into a fucking car after downing a gallon of scotch?” Ash snarls, whirling on Brent and glowering over him. “You mean like that, you little fucker?”
“If you’re insinuating—”
“Insinuating?” Ash laughs bitterly. “I’m not insinuating shit! I’m flat out telling you that—”
“Now boys, there’s enough of me to go around.”
Ash glares at me. Brent glares at Ash. I shrug and drag slowly on the cigarette, turning to glance out the window again.
Ash is right. This isn’t going to work, and how I’ve arrived at this point where I’m deluding myself into thinking it will is honestly a mystery to me, even now. That Anastasia is the key to the whole thing makes it insane enough. That I’ve lured her here under false pretenses, and lied to her, and threatened her, and generally reinforced to her what a complete fucking jerk off I can be pushes this whole thing into the realm of absurd.
But I’m flat out of options.
I’m turning twenty-eight in six months. And when that second-hand clicks past midnight, I’ll lose it all. I’ll lose it to being “unfit for inheritance” and to legal mumbo jumbo to an uncle I’ve never met.
I’ll lose it all to my own fucking stupidity.
The accident kick-started the whole thing. The fire gave me a solution - however broken, however improbable, and however wrong, considering my history with her.
But then, the truth is, I’ve been fucking with Ana’s life and pulling the strings playing puppet master for longer than she knows. And this is just one more act. One final act before the curtain drops. I know the role I need her to play, even if she doesn’t yet.
But she will. Soon.