Chapter 11
At lunch with Noella the next day, I was a little distracted. Ben had already texted me several times and in between Ben’s texts Trent had sent me some ideas he had for his apartment.
“I’m sorry I’m being rude.” I put the phone down and smiled across the table at Noella. “How are you today?”
“Pretty good.” She winked. “And I don’t mind—about the texting. Someone around here has to have a social life, right?”
“Ugh—I went on a date last night with this guy Ben and he’s just a bit needy in the attention department.” I frowned as I wondered if I should have been so quick to ask for a second date.
“Aw, give the guy a chance. After my attempts to start dating again, trust me—I can tell you, not everyone knows how to do it. I certainly didn’t.”
“But dating is so easy.” I shrugged. “You just make a plan and go out on a date.”
“Maybe it’s easy for you.” She sighed. “Sometimes I think I’m ready to try again, but then I get so busy with life and my sons that I just can’t even consider it. I have this new friend, Nicole—well, she’s a virtual friend that I met on Forty and Free. She had a major success with online dating and has been trying to talk me into giving it another try.”
“Forty and Free—that’s a dating website, right?” I took a sip of my tea. “Why not? What’s to lose?”
“Time, money, sanity.” She laughed.
“Good point.” I grinned.
After we placed our orders, I thought about what she’d said. I’d never been nervous about asking a man out. I enjoyed the newness of getting to know someone. I liked the uncertainty of how the date might turn out. But as I put myself in Noella’s shoes, I could understand why she would be anxious about it. She had a lot more at risk as a single mother to two sons. I, on the other hand, had the freedom to do as I pleased. That was something I normally valued, but lately I’d been wondering if I’d had just a little too much freedom.
“So when are you going out with Ben again?” Noella picked up her fork and dove into the lunch that had been set in front of her.
“Friday. I’m going to take him out dancing and rip him right out of his shell.” I snapped my fingers.
“Just like that?” She met my eyes.
“Sure. Dancing is a great way to get that libido livened up, and I think once I have my hands on him, he’ll forget about being nervous.”
“It sounds like you really like him.” Noella smiled.
“Sure, he’s okay.”
“Are you going to see him again after that if things go well?”
“Probably not.” I took a bite of my food.
“Why not?” Noella shook her head, looking confused.
“Oh, I generally have a two-date rule. Sometimes I stretch it out a bit, but mostly I stick to it.”
“Two dates? Isn’t that fast?” Her eyes widened.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that.” I laughed. “It’s not like I take every guy home with me. And really, it’s more about that first kiss—about feeling that spark. If it happens, it happens. But usually if it hasn’t happened after two dates it’s not going to happen. I don’t like to force things.”
“I can understand that, but how can you even get to know someone in only two dates?”
“I guess I expect to just know. I wait to feel that connection, that can’t-live-without-you feeling. If I don’t get that, then I move on. I haven’t gotten it yet.”
“I can’t argue that point. I can understand your looking for that connection. Still, one of these days you might want to give a guy a little more time to impress you.”
“That’s just the thing. I’m not interested in being impressed. I don’t care if he’s wealthy or good-looking or talented. I don’t have certain standards he has to fit. Only one. If I’m going to see him again after date two, there has to be something between us. That’s why I think it’s critical to have the kiss. I know if I’m going to feel any kind of connection it’ll be then. And like I said, nothing so far.”
“Nothing at all?” She looked at me intently. “There hasn’t been one guy that you felt more for? That you were curious about?”
“No, you’ll think I’m lying, but it’s true. I have plenty of guys that I still care about—many that I’m still in touch with even. I consider them my friends. But there hasn’t been one that I wanted to see on a regular basis. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.” I grinned. “But I don’t think so.”
“Don’t you ever think about getting married? Having a family? It takes more than two dates to do that, you know.” She eyed me with a smile.
“I know, and I do think about that. Lately, a lot more than I used to. But I don’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married or have a child with just anyone. I guess in some ways, I’m looking for that magic.”
“I get that.” Noella finished the last bite of her food. “A part of me doesn’t believe I’ll find it. I think that’s why I’m dragging my feet on dating. Like you, I don’t want just companionship. If I’m going to go through the risk of a relationship again, I want it to be a true romance—something I never really experienced with my ex. You’re right, why waste the time otherwise?”
“See?” I picked up my glass and clinked it against hers. “To magic!”
“To magic!” She agreed with a grin, but it faded a few moments later.
“Mm-hm. And the only way to get to that magic is to at least try, Noella. You may be busy, you may have a lot on your plate, but you still deserve to find that happiness. And so do I. That’s why I don’t care if people don’t like my two-date rule, and I don’t care if someone scoffs at me for being perpetually single. It’s not their life, it’s mine and this is my path to happiness. At least I’m on it. The question is, are you on yours?” I met her eyes and held her gaze. “Being too afraid to get back out there isn’t going to lead you to it.”
“You’re so right.” She nodded. “I’m thinking about it, I really am. And as for you, perhaps you should consider expanding your view too. Some guys, if not most guys, might need a little more than two dates to show you who they truly are.”
“I’ll think about that.” I winked.