Chapter 24
After we said goodbye to Samantha, Trent and I lingered at the table for a little while longer.
“I had such a good time tonight.”
“I know, Sammy is so much fun.”
“I didn’t mean with just her. Meeting her was great. But just getting to spend time with you—talking.” He shrugged. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you so lit up and excited.”
“It has?” I stared at him, a little surprised. “I’ve been different lately?”
“Yes. You’ve been so stressed about the website, I guess—and other aspects of the business. But tonight, with Samantha, I saw you just full of passion again. I love that.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I love seeing that in you.”
“Thanks.” I blushed as I finished the last of my wine. “I know I’ve been a little caught up in the mechanics of the business—plus, I may have been a little distracted.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.” He set his glass down, then looked at me intently for a moment. “Should we get going?”
“I guess we’d better.”
I followed him out toward the parking lot. The entire time I was tempted to bring up the kiss. Maybe if I just cleared the air about it, things would go back to normal between us. But things were already so much more comfortable that I didn’t want to make it tense again. Instead, I sat quietly in the car as we drove back toward my condo.
About halfway there Trent glanced at me. “Are you okay?”
“Sure, why?” I smiled.
“You’re so quiet. I’m not used to you quiet.”
“Are you saying I’m mouthy?” I grinned.
“I wouldn’t call it that.” He laughed. “But you do usually have something to say. It seems a little odd that you’re so quiet. Did you have too much to drink?”
“Not even close. I guess I’m just thinking about things.”
“What things?”
“Just things.” I shrugged.
“See, that’s what I mean. Quiet.”
“Maybe we need some music to liven things up?” I reached for the radio.
He caught my hand before I could touch the dial.
“Or we could just talk.” He released my hand and turned the car down the road that would eventually lead to my condo.
“We could.” I tried to ignore the speed of my heartbeat. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything but websites and computers.” He smiled. “Something real.”
“Tell me about the rockets you left behind.”
“Rockets?” He glanced over at me, then nodded. “Okay. I mean, there’s not much to tell about them. We moved around a lot.”
“That must have been hard—always leaving friends behind.”
“It was.” He glanced at me. “That’s why I value the friendships I have now.”
“That’s why you’re a one-woman kinda guy?” I smiled.
“Yes. It is.” He pulled into my parking lot, but didn’t turn the car off. “I know that’s a little old-fashioned.”
“I think it’s sweet.” I met his eyes.
“Do you?” He stared back into mine. “Or do you think it’s pathetic?”
“Pathetic?” I shook my head. “No, I don’t think that at all. I think it’s beautiful that you feel that way. Why would you think that?”
“I know your dating style is a little different.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t respect yours. I could never think of you as pathetic. Besides, I wouldn’t really say I have a style. Yes, I like to go out and have fun. I love meeting new people. But it doesn’t take me long to figure out whether there’s something between me and someone else. That’s why I don’t stay in a relationship too long. I don’t see a point to stretching things out when it just isn’t going to happen.”
“What isn’t going to happen?” He searched my eyes.
“I don’t know—the connection, I guess.” I felt as if he could see right into me as he continued to hold my gaze.
“Love?” He smiled.
“I don’t know if it’s love. But something deeper than simple chemistry, maybe.”
“Why not love? Don’t you believe in it?”
“Maybe.” I glanced away from him. “I’ve never experienced it. But I’ve seen my friends fall in love, and I wouldn’t doubt that it’s the most amazing experience they’ve had. I just wonder if it’s something that everyone experiences. Have you?”
“No.” He looked toward the windshield. “Not yet, at least. I was with someone for a long time, but it didn’t work out in the end. And honestly, I was kind of relieved when it was over.”
“Why?” I studied him, genuinely curious.
“Because I think I knew that she wasn’t it—that she wasn’t the one. I wanted her to be, but deep down, it never really felt comfortable.” He lifted his eyes back to mine.
“Comfortable?” I laughed. “That’s a funny way to describe love.”
“I don’t think so. I mean, the flash, the electricity—sure, that’s there. But to me, love is being able to be completely comfortable around someone. It’s knowing that no matter what you do, no matter how foolishly you act, that person will always accept you—always love you. You don’t have to be anything other than yourself, and the best part is, they don’t just accept you, they love you for all those strange quirks.”
“That does sound like love.” I closed my eyes for a moment as I imagined it. “It sounds like coming home.”
“Yes, it does.” He ran a hand across the steering wheel, then turned the car off. “I’ll walk you up.”
“That’s okay, you don’t have to.” I looked over at him once more. “Trent, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” He stepped out of the car.
I realized he would insist on walking me to the door and I didn’t mind it one bit. As he stepped up beside me, though, the question I wanted to ask faded from the tip of my tongue.
“What is it?” He placed his hand on my back as we walked up to my condo.
“Never mind.” I smiled. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does if it matters to you.”
“Another time.” I caught his eye once more before I stepped through the door. “Good night, Trent.”
“Good night, Zoe.”
He watched me as I closed the door.