“WELL, I’M JUST SAYING THAT if I were into girls, I’d totally date you,” Liv said matter-of-factly, while smiling at Raven.
Raven was practically beaming, which made me grin at these two crazy girls. We were discussing Raven’s non-existent dating life at the moment and her struggle to find a chick with substance.
“You would?” Raven said back. “Somehow I didn’t think I was your type.”
Liv looked taken aback before saying, “I have one type, Raven. Good. And I think you’re plenty of that.”
Raven gave me big eyes over her fries and ketchup. “Oh my God.” She put her hand over her heart. “She’s perfect.” She looked up at the ceiling of the diner we were in. “Please God, if there is a perfect girl for him, there has to be one for me, right?”
I kicked her shin softly underneath the table and her eyes speared me with a playfully angry look. “What? She’s beautiful, funny, smart, and rich.”
I grew sullen at the mention of Liv’s money. I didn’t like to talk about it. It was a point of contention between us, that island, her money. They seemed to be bigger than the bridge that separated the island from Madison. I didn’t want to think about what her money meant for us or our future. What could I give her?
Liv didn’t notice my turn of mood; she only laughed off Raven before saying, “Not yet. Remember, I don’t get my money until I’m twenty-one. My stepmonster has all the control until then.”
Raven was chewing on a piece of ice from her sweet tea when she answered, “That blows.”
“Eh.” Liv shrugged like it was no big deal. That was her general attitude about her family even though I knew they weren’t the nicest to her. She had a dreamer’s attitude. It baffled me. After all she lost. And with her circumstances now, she somehow still managed to dream. I’d given up on that long ago. My dreams had fallen by the wayside when my mom decided she didn’t even have the will to live much less dream anymore.
“Well, we better get going.” I loved hanging out with Raven and Liv together. Since the night at my house a few weeks ago we didn’t just hang out at the field. Most of the time I went and got Liv from her house after everyone went to bed. She’d text me when she thought it was safe and I was happy to make sure she made it safely to the field and some nights, like tonight, we even managed to meet Raven for a late dinner while she worked at the diner across the street from the tattoo parlor.
“Yeah.” Raven stood up and scooted out of the booth across from us. “It’s time for me to get back to work anyway. I have a client.” She moved her brows up and down.
“I take it she’s hot?” Liv asked.
“Mmmhmm,” Raven answered. “She has great tits.”
“Jesus,” I interjected, my face going hot.
Raven pursed her lips. “You didn’t mind talking about tits with me before Liv started coming around.”
Christ. Liv giggled and I rushed her out the door with my hand to the small of her back while Raven cackled behind me.
Everyone hugged, the girls twice, and Liv and I started our walk back to the field, her blue blanket tucked under my arm, her hand in mine. We were quiet as we made the walk. It was in that very second I realized what was happening, with her hand in mine, our silence was speaking volumes. I had a fucking girlfriend. I had gone from watching this girl like a crazy person to following her home and now look at us. We were walking hand in hand through my neighborhood. Liv was my girlfriend. I passed her the blanket that was under my arm and reached into my pocket for my smokes and lighter.
I needed a damn cigarette STAT. It wasn’t that I was upset or mad about the prospect of Liv being mine. I loved that she was mine. It just scared the absolute shit out of me.
Liv gave me a disappointed look at the sight of the cigarette dangling from my mouth, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She didn’t say anything, though. She just kept walking silently and I wondered if maybe that was because she knew. She knew how hard this was for me. To let her in. And that was just a whole other level of frightening because that meant she already knew me too well.
Fuck. I walked faster with her hand in mine, puffing away, hoping to ease the panic flaring throughout my body. We got to the field and she placed the blanket down gently until it was flat and ready for us to lie on.
She lay down and watched me pace a bit, still silent. And, jeez, I kind of wanted her to ask what was wrong, but it was pretty plain she already knew.
I put out my cigarette and stood right over her, staring. She was looking at the sky until she stopped and her eyes met mine. And instead of questioning what I was doing there, she held her hand out to me. Her small hand with pink nails. They were pretty and dainty and sweet. I couldn’t resist. I sat down on the blanket and lay back. As soon as I was settled her hand made its way to mine. She wasn’t slow and sweet with her hand-holding. She didn’t question it. She snatched my hand up quickly and brought it to her chest before covering my hand with her other as well.
And just like that, my heart slowed. My panic receded and my skin buzzed with a warmth that made my head light. God, how did she know? How did this girl know what I needed even when I didn’t?
I looked over at her, but her eyes were closed, so I took the opportunity to stare. Because how often in life did I get to just look at someone beyond beautiful without them knowing?
Her round cheeks were pink from the walk and her silky brown hair feathered around her head and brushed my cheek. It was the softest thing I’d ever felt in my life and it smelled so good. I wanted to kiss her small, button nose. To taste her wide pink lips.
She was stunning, breathtaking, and she was making me a romantic fool.
She had on a pink shirt that was really nothing more than a band of fabric around her torso. There were no sleeves to be seen and damn if she didn’t have beautiful collarbones and shoulders. And her generous breasts, she seemed to be putting them on display as much as possible for me lately and if her cleavage was anything to go by, tonight was no exception. They rose and fell with every breath and it was so tempting. She was teasing a starving man and it wouldn’t be long before I snapped and ate my fill.
“Close your eyes, Nova.” Her words snapped me out of whatever lust-induced daze she’d put me in. Her eyes were still closed, but her lips were smiling.
“Why?” I wanted to watch her. She knew how I liked to watch.
Her grin widened at my question. “Because you can’t dream with your eyes open.”
I lifted up onto one elbow until my face was right above hers. I could practically taste her sweet breath. “I’m pretty sure I can,” I whispered. Because my dreams had never compared to a moment I’d spent with her. She was the dream. She was it for me.
Her eyes snapped open at my words and her smile was gone and in its place was a look of surprise. “What?”
I kissed her button nose like I’d been wanting to and smiled down at her. “Go out with me.”
Her forehead scrunched in confusion. “I am out with…”
I shook my head. “No, Liv. Go out with me. Like I come pick you up and we go out. Somewhere special. Let me take you on a date.”
“You wanna take me on a date?” Her words were a whisper and rang of disbelief. How could she not see it? How obsessed I was with her. How addicted I was to her lips. How my heart was only happy when it was with her.
“Yes.”
She swallowed hard before answering. “Okay.”
Okay. And I was good. Content. I lay back down next to her. She was staring at the stars and my eyes were glued to hers.
“What do you see when you look up there?”
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth thoughtfully before answering, “A million possibilities. A world of aspirations, hopes, wishes.” She turned her gaze to mine. “What do you see?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Science.” It was easy. So matter-of-fact, my answer.
Her face fell. “That’s it?”
I looked at the sky again. “And darkness.”
I could see her smiling at me from the corner of my eye. She sat up and leaned forward until her face was close to mine. “Ah, but there can’t be darkness without light, Adam.”
Grabbing my hand, she lay back down. She made me feel lighter. Better. Bigger. Brighter. I smiled like a loon. She quietly watched the stars and I quietly watched her for a while.
Finally, she looked over at me and squeezed my hand, giving me a confounded look. “What are you doing over there?”
She knew what I was doing. She knew I was watching her. But I knew I was doing more than that.
And even though I felt hot and embarrassed at the truth, I stared into her eyes and gave it to her anyway because she deserved it. “Dreaming.”
Her face was red and she was lit from within. “Oh, no. You can’t do that.”
“Do what?” I asked, sitting up again to stare down at her.
Biting her lips, she answered, “Don’t you go getting better than you already are, Nova. I don’t think my fragile sixteen-year-old heart can handle it.”
I could see the reflection of a hundred tiny stars in her eyes. My heart felt like it might burst right open. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, Montgomery.” And I kissed her like my life depended on it.