Another day seemed to disappear, and Friday dawned quickly. Ben hated that he let Zach go to Tampa on his own. Hated that he couldn’t find the courage to get himself off the island, and even hated the two chapters that seemed to effortlessly flow from his fingers onto the keyboard. Every second that Zach wasn’t there, he worried. He’d been exhausted when he had come back on Wednesday, and he doubted that he would be much better today. Even though Ben had been curled around him all night, so he knew he had slept.

He also hated that Zach hadn’t asked him to go with him. It was as if Zach didn’t expect him to step up, and even though he knew how much he loved Zach and believed how Zach felt about him, none of that meant they had a future. And that would be on him.

Seven hours later, he was standing on the jetty as Matt docked the boat, and it was worth practically shaking with nerves just to see Zach’s face light up when Matt pointed out he was there. His eyes narrowed on Zach’s tired smile, and he didn’t give Matt a chance to help him from the boat this time, he jumped on to meet him, throwing Noah, who was coming home from work, a shy smile even as Noah thanked Matt and jumped off.

“Hey,” he said, leaning down for a kiss as Zach waited for the engines to die before standing up.

They broke apart, and Zach groaned, “You have no idea how much I needed that.”

Ben leaned down to whisper. “I was toying with the idea of running the bath, but I have the cart waiting, so it’s up to you whether we go to mine or yours. Charlie has offered to take Kai.”

“No,” Zach shook his head and stood up. “Much as I like the idea of a bath, I want to go h—to the cabin.”

Home? Zach had been going to say home, Ben was sure of it. Hope flared in him, and all the reasons he had been telling himself all day why Zach wouldn’t be content to stay, disappeared.

“Ben?”

Ben looked to see Josh running down the path towards them but made sure Zach was safely off the boat before he turned to see what Josh wanted. He didn’t usually run, but Ben doubted whatever was a crisis.

“Josh,” Zach acknowledged as Josh got to them.

“Ben, honey, we got a phone call.”

Ben stiffened at the alarm in Josh’s voice. “Concerning me?” But it must have been, or Josh wouldn’t be telling him.

Josh hesitated, and he felt Zach step closer, obviously responding to the alarm in Josh’s voice. “The police called, and two detectives are on their way here from Boston to talk to you.”

“What?” Ben croaked out.

“I don’t know much. They spoke to Daniel, but basically, they are holding a couple of guys on rape charges and they have reason to believe that they might have something to do with your mom’s death.”

Ben was silent for what seemed the longest minute of his life. “And what do they want from me?” Suddenly regretting he had ever said anything to Josh.

Josh sighed and put a comforting hand on Ben’s arm. “They need you to fly to Boston and identify them.”

Ben was pulling his hand out of Zach’s while shaking his head. “No, no.” He couldn’t, wouldn’t.

“Ben.” Ben felt Zach’s hands rest on his shoulders. “Josh? When are they coming?”

“They’ll be here by six.”

“No.” Absolutely not. Not again. He couldn’t.

“Baby, let’s go back to yours for a while.”

Ben stared at Zach. How could his voice sound so normal when panic raced through his veins like they were on fire? Kai whined, and Ben automatically put his hand on the dog’s coat. He didn’t have to bend down now.

“He’s getting so big,” Ben murmured, latching desperately onto anything to avoid talking about the situation he didn’t want to even think about.

“He is,” Zach said carefully, obviously noticing that Ben was once again avoiding something else they should be discussing.

“I’m scared I’m not going to be enough for you,” he blurted out. “that I’ll never be able to live anywhere else—be happy anywhere else—and you’ll get bored of me.” But before Zach could say anything, he carried on. “How much of a bastard am I that for a second—even a second—I hoped you wouldn’t ever be able to see because seeing would make you leave me.”

“Baby,” Zach stepped close and encircled Ben in his arms. He heard the low voice of Josh calling Kai as he walked away.

“I’m so sorry,” he gasped, and when the sob broke free, he clung to Zach like he was his only lifeline. Within seconds, he was steered onto the golf cart. He guessed Matt was driving because he certainly wasn’t capable, and Zach was holding him—loving him—and he didn’t deserve any of it. He cried. Cried for what he had lost, but more importantly, cried for what he was going to lose because Zach would go, and he wasn’t strong enough to follow.

His sobbing had wrung out to emptiness by the time they got back to the cabin. He would say his heart ached, but he just felt hollowed out like there was nothing inside him. He heard Zach thank Matt as if through a haze, and he allowed himself to be helped up the steps and inside. He blinked his eyes open and watched Zach fumble in the fridge and manage to get a couple of bottles of water. Then he turned and walked back to where Ben was standing in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with himself. “Come with me,” Zach said, and Ben grasped Zach’s offered hand and walked with him into the bedroom. Zach bent and kissed him while dexterously stripping off Ben’s shirt and shorts. He couldn’t seem to stop the tears, and he didn’t know what to do.

His feet were bare, but as he looked down, he could still see the dark almost black blood that he had stepped in.

And the smell.

Ben suddenly whirled around, clamping a hand over his mouth, and just made it to the bathroom and the toilet before he lost what seemed to be everything he had eaten that day. Weakly gripping the edge, he coughed and spat and didn’t dare move his hands to even wipe the snot off his nose. “Baby,” strong hands encircled his shoulders and pushed tissues at him then, once he had wiped his nose, offered a bottle of cool water to rinse his mouth with and try to feel human again.

He coughed. “Hush,” Zach gently angled him away from the bowl and pressed his head on his chest as he sagged against him still on his knees with his legs tucked under him. He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, letting Zach take all his weight. Zach reached over and flushed the toilet, holding him all the while.

“I know I’m no good for you,” Ben whispered. “But if you have any doubts, you need to go now. I couldn’t take it if you made me love you again then you left.”

“There’s still some doubt?” Zach asked almost fearfully.

“No,” he wailed which brought on a fresh wave of tears. “It’s too late for me. It was too late when you walked off that boat.”

Zach put two fingers under his chin and lifted it up. “It was too late for me when I saw you behind that camera, sticking your tongue out at me and looking cute as all fuck.” He kissed Ben’s nose. “It was too late for me when you asked me what position I wanted you in and a flare of heat and pure sex seemed to light up my entire body.” He kissed Ben’s cheek. “And when you offered to bend over, I nearly dropped a nineteen-thousand-dollar camera.” He kissed Ben’s lips.

Ben’s hand flew to cover them. “I taste nasty.”

Zach’s eyes screwed up in humor. “Then”—he stood up, pulling Ben with him—“let’s fix that because I’m having trouble keeping my hands off you, and that’s gonna involve a lot of kissing.”

In a few moments, he was being settled in bed next to Zach. “I want you to drink some water before you lie down.” Zach passed him one of the cold bottles, and Ben did exactly as he was told. He drank at least half of it—his head was pounding—then gave it to Zach, who put it on the dresser next to the bed. He felt the kiss on his head and the big arms around him.

“I need to say some things so bear with me,” Zach murmured and took a breath. “I want to make my home with you.”

Ben listened.

“And when I say that, I don’t mean a place.” He pressed his hand to Ben’s chest. “I mean here or wherever you want to be. Wherever you are is home to me. We wasted so much time because of misunderstandings, so I need to spell this out so there isn’t one. My eyesight is a completely different issue. I can’t lie and say I’m not petrified I won’t get any sight back, or that it will even get worse.” He paused. “I need to ask you a question though because something else terrifies me.”

Ben looked up at the catch in Zach’s words. “Something happened today? I never asked,” he whispered. “I never asked how it went.”

“No, it was fine. No news. They’re happy.” Zach took a deep breath. “I’m scared if I lose my sight, I will lose you.”

“What?” Ben was incredulous, staring at Zach’s furrowed brow and his tightly drawn lips. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Because you would be saddled with caring for a blind man.”

“Oh baby,” Ben was wrong. His hollow chest must still encase his heart because it hurt so badly listening to Zach explain his fears. “As if that would be important?”

“I know you think that’s insane,” Zach shook his head. “But is it as ridiculous as you being convinced that if I get my sight back, I won’t still want to be with you?”

Ben’s mouth dropped open as the significance of what Zach was saying sunk in. He licked his lips. “It isn’t that I doubt you. How could I? I guess I’m worried about here—living here if I’m never brave enough to go anywhere else—being enough for you?”

He felt Zach take a breath and pull him, so he lay on Zach’s shoulder. Zach ran his hand through Ben’s hair, and Ben realized, without thinking, he had gotten in the other way. His scars were very close to Zach’s fingers. And he hadn’t thought about it once. “We need to do lots of talking and figuring things out, but right now, much as I hate it, we need to talk about the other.”

Ben closed his eyes, but he knew Zach was right. “I don’t think I can. And if I do, would that be the end of it, or would I have to go to court?”

“I don’t really know, but I think driving is out of the question. It’s gotta be a good twenty hours at least, and that’s not stopping anywhere.”

Ben nodded miserably.

“Can you even remember what those guys looked like?”

Ben wanted to say no. It would be so easy to feign a bad memory or say it was dark or that it was too long ago, but the simple truth was that he would never forget them, especially the one who had eyed him as if he were meat. “I wish I didn’t, but I don’t think it’s something I will ever forget.”

Zach kissed him again. “We have time. Josh is gonna call us when they land in Fort Myers. How about we catch a nap then get some food? He says he’s going to get Daniel to bring them here, although, if we need a bodyguard, I think Matt would step up.”

Ben shook his head. “No, I don’t want to involve Matt with the cops. It wouldn’t be fair.” Zach stilled, and Ben realized how it had sounded. “I-he—”

“It’s okay,” Zach soothed. “I understand it isn’t your story to tell. I know Josh wouldn’t have him here if there was any problem.”

Ben sighed with relief. He didn’t know much himself and appreciated knowing Zach would keep a secret if he needed to. “I don’t really know anything, but you’re right. Could you imagine Daniel letting Matt be here if he was any risk to anyone?”

Zach shook his head smiling ruefully. “I think May-belle is the one everyone needs to be wary of.”

Ben chuckled then broke off, surprised he laughed. “Josh calls her a Rottweiler.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

Ben yawned. Zach pressed a kiss on his cheek. “I wouldn’t mind an hour of sleep myself.” Then, of course, Ben felt guilty remembering the day Zach had. He turned and snuggled close and with a big sigh, let it go.

Ben rubbed his hands over his jeans. It would be too hot for them outside, but in the cool of the cabin, he knew he would feel a little safer the more he was covered up. Detectives Bryan Davis and Alex Cruz were both understanding and professional. They wouldn’t budge on needing Ben to travel up to Boston though. “We want the case to be airtight,” Davis explained. “We can show you a book, even a double-blind, but nothing will be better than a physical confirmation.”

“What do you mean ‘double-blind’?” Zach asked.

“The officer that shows you the photographs won’t be aware of who the suspect is. Even if you did that, you would still have to come.”

“They won’t ever see you,” Cruz added. “If that’s your concern.”

“You have them both?”

“We have two guys, but the DNA only matches one. The other is denying he even knew the other suspect ten years ago. Of course, the lack of DNA might just be that he never left any, not that he wasn’t there. We need a confirmation from you either way.”

Ben looked at him in despair. How could he explain? How could he say that he wanted nothing more than to lock the bastards away but was terrified of doing so?

“You are so pretty.”

She had laughed and flung her arms around him stumbling a little. “And I have the prettiest, sweetest little boy in the whole world.”

He would get a kiss and be held then. The brief moment he craved, and he soon learned, even as a very young child, that the best way to get the right sort of attention from her was to tell her how much prettier she was than everyone else. How beautiful. He’d forgotten that. He’d forgotten that once upon a time she could stand to be near him.

“When would you need Ben to be there?” Daniel, who had kept mostly quiet up to that point, leaned forward to ask.

“Tomorrow morning. The prosecutor is afraid if he just goes with the rape there will be victim blaming and he may get away with it.”

Ben looked up at that. “What do you mean?”

“He means the victim was—is—a pro. It’s taken another three rapes before we found someone that will actually give evidence, and because of who she is, we’re worried a jury won’t believe her. None of the other victims will come forward. It’s only because we got a rape kit done on this one that we got the DNA match. She was angry because even though he gave her no choice, the guy wouldn’t suit up, and she was convinced he had something he wanted to share. We were hoping to tie this up with another rape in the area going back a few years. You can imagine how stunned we were to get this connection to a murder.”

Ben could imagine. He felt the welcome warmth of Zach’s arm as it slid around him, and he was surprised at the display in front of the cops but neither of them said one word.

“Then why isn’t the DNA enough?” Zach asked. “I mean that’s foolproof.” Cruz winced and looked uncomfortable.

“Is it because she had sex with other people that night?” Daniel asked.

“Yes,” Davis confirmed, looking relieved he hadn’t had to spell it out. “It could create enough doubt, and a little doubt is all they need to walk.”

“Which is why we need a respectable witness,” Cruz continued and looked at Ben again.

Zach frowned. “Look, I’m not an attorney, but even if you could prove they had sex, that still doesn’t prove they committed murder.”

Cruz nodded. “But it gives us the opportunity for leverage. Our second guy isn’t going to take much to turn. He’s panicked already, and an eyewitness will be all we need.”

Daniel turned to Ben. “This is, of course, entirely your decision, but I can fly you up there privately. You wouldn’t have to go into a commercial airport at all.”

“You would?” Ben tried to clear his throat, so his voice wasn’t so wobbly, but really, he was holding onto control by the skin of his teeth. Zach squeezed Ben’s hand. He looked at him. “Would you come with me?”

“Try stopping me,” Zach said resolutely.

Ben swallowed and looked at the cops. “I don’t have any recent ID.” Photographs weren’t exactly his thing now.

“Not a problem,” Cruz said definitely and stood, putting his hand out to shake Ben’s.

“Detectives,” Daniel steered them to the door. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to stay here tonight then all of us fly up there tomorrow? We can, of course, take you back tonight, but…” The rest of Daniel’s words were lost as they left, closing the door behind them, but Ben couldn’t see anyone wanting to turn down an evening here then a private plane ride tomorrow.

“I know how difficult that was,” Zach said. “I’m so proud of you. And that wasn’t supposed to sound condescending.” Zach’s mouth twisted in self-disgust.

“I know,” Ben reassured him.

“Are you hungry?”

Ben smiled. That meant Zach was. He turned and stepped into him. “What are you hungry for, or is that a silly question?” Zach was pressed in very close.

“What have you got?”

Ben thought and came up with nothing. “I don’t know.” He felt nauseous, to be honest.

“Do you trust me?”

Ben smiled. “With my life,” he said with feeling, and Zach got his phone out.

“I’m going to order takeout.”

And the thought of someone trundling their dinner to them on a golf cart made him laugh.