Chapter 12
‘I can’t sleep,’ whispered Taffy in the darkness. ‘I’m too excited.’
Holly reached out and laid her hand on his bare chest, loving the way he always wore his emotions on his metaphorical sleeve. ‘Do you think I ought to check again, before we get carried away?’ Holly replied, her own thoughts clearly running at a slightly more tentative tangent.
His laugh rumbled quietly through her fingers. ‘I think the third test was probably the clincher, don’t you?’
It was true – Elsie insistence that they be ‘absolutely sure’ before she was prepared to concede that a change of plans might be in order had become a farcical series of hilarious trips to the bathroom, Holly being ‘topped up’ with mineral water by the gallon in between.
‘Maybe it won’t feel properly real until we see the scan,’ Holly suggested, longing for her own rollercoaster of emotions to find a settling point. In her mind, hearing the fluttering, butterfly heartbeat seemed a likely candidate to be that moment.
‘Would it be really poor form to pull a few strings and do it early, not wait?’ Taffy said hesitantly, knowing only too well how Holly felt about taking advantage of their position for personal gain.
She laughed. ‘Don’t think I haven’t considered it, but with all the recent cutbacks, I’d say that might be taking our impatience a little too far.’
Holly yawned and stretched out – or at least, she tried to.
Their enormous king-sized bed was currently also home to two sleeping twins in gingham pyjamas, complete with a variety of much-loved teddy bears, and a snoring labradoodle. Every night, they were tucked in sweetly into their own beds, Eric’s own fondness for a teddy and a bedtime story meaning that his dog bed had now been transplanted into the twins’ bedroom anyway. But every night, like clockwork, at around 2 a.m. there would be the patter of tiny feet and paws, and the duvet was no longer their own.
‘At least the boys curl up sweetly like dormice,’ Holly whispered to Taffy, gently extracting Eric’s paw from her armpit, where he’d made a land grab the moment she moved. He grumbled in his sleep at being disturbed, lying diagonally, woven between all four of them; it was a wonder he got any sleep at all.
Taffy caught Holly’s hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing her palm tenderly. ‘And you’re quite sure we’ve got space for another one in the mix?’ he whispered, his voice bubbling with laughter, as though for him that was never in doubt.
‘Ooh, are we getting another doggy?’ said Tom suddenly into the darkness, making them both jump. ‘Ben, wake up!’ he hissed. ‘They’re talking about puppies . . .’
‘Puppies?’ said Ben, going from deep slumber to bouncing excitement in mere seconds. ‘Can I choose? Can it sleep on my bed? Do we have to share this one too?’
‘Um—’ managed Holly, struggling to keep pace with the barrage of urgent questions that Tom’s merest mention of a puppy had provoked from his brother.
‘What about if we didn’t have a puppy, but maybe someone else to join our family?’ Taffy said, testing the water, before Holly could elbow him to stop.
She had no idea how best to tell the twins about the baby, but she was pretty sure it was a good idea to check that all was well with the pregnancy before she got their hopes up.
‘Like a kitten?’ said Tom suspiciously.
‘Erm—’ said Taffy, having backed himself into a corner. He needn’t have worried.
‘Or a little brother?’ suggested Ben, ever the more sensitive, tuned-in of the two.
‘Well—’ began Holly, always a believer in honestly answering whatever questions they threw at her, even if their timing wasn’t always the best.
‘Oh, no,’ cut in Tom, ‘we’d much rather have a puppy! Wouldn’t we, Ben? Babies don’t really do anything for ages . . .’ he informed Holly and Taffy, as though he were the authority on this topic. ‘You can play with a puppy straight away.’
‘But puppies can’t talk, silly. Babies can. Once you teach them,’ Ben replied earnestly. ‘I’d much rather have something that can talk.’
‘Like the Major’s parrot?’ Tom said, clearly puzzled by his brother’s enthusiasm for a tiny human.
‘Too flappy,’ dismissed Ben instantly.
Holly heard Taffy trying to disguise his laughter in the dark, shoving his fist into his mouth at the boys’ outspoken yet logical opinions. Eric yawned and sat up abruptly, obviously annoyed by all their talking. He made a huge silhouette looming in the middle of the bed, even in the darkness.
‘Well,’ said Holly easily, ‘I’m not making any promises; I think this bed is pretty full at the moment anyway. Maybe, before we even think about another living soul in this house, we ought to practise sleeping in our own beds? Maybe, that’s something we could work on?’
The mattress twanged as Ben and Tom both bolted for the door at the same time, Eric following hot on their heels.
‘You’re rather good at this parenting lark,’ said Taffy in admiration.
Holly just yawned. ‘I have my moments. That was probably the one for the whole week, by the way – I hope you made the most of it?’ she said, contentedly snuggling into the duvet.
‘There’s actually something else I’d rather make the most of,’ said Taffy suggestively, patting their suddenly empty bed.
‘Hmm, good idea,’ murmured Holly sleepily, stretching out like a starfish in relief. ‘If we go to sleep now, we can still have a solid six hours.’ She wriggled her toes happily, enjoying the space to spread out.
‘The start of things to come,’ said Taffy, accepting defeat to his advances graciously and with a smile in his voice.
‘I love you,’ mumbled Holly, rolling onto her side and tucking herself in neatly beside him. All the space in the world, and it turned out she still wanted to fall asleep with her head on his chest.
‘And it’s a definite no on the parrot, then?’ Taffy clarified, as her breathing grew deeper and she nodded off to sleep.
‘We’re all out of bacon,’ said Holly with a grin in response to Taffy’s questioning look, as she flipped five pounds’ worth of Parma ham from The Deli in a frying pan the next morning.
‘How very middle-class,’ he said, wrapping his arms around her waist as she stood at the stove, her hunger that morning almost legendary in its intensity.
She leaned back and turned to kiss his unshaven cheek. ‘This is very fancy ham from Italy, I shall have you know. Surely it qualifies as an upper-class breakfast? Parma ham on brioche? The ultimate bacon sandwich.’
‘Nah, if it was an upper-class breakfast, you’d have someone to cook it for you, wouldn’t you?’ Taffy teased her.
‘You’re absolutely right,’ Holly replied, kissing him again to distract him, as she placed the spatula in his hand and slipped away from the stove. ‘Nice and crispy, please, Taffs. I’ve been craving this for hours.’
She had thought that wearing Taffy’s engagement ring had shifted the dynamic of their relationship, both of them committing to the long term and to raising the twins together, but somehow, discovering she was carrying his baby had elevated their intimacy to a whole new level – and not even necessarily of the naked variety. The ease and adoration between them in the kitchen that morning made Holly’s heart sing. The very idea of spending the rest of her life bantering with Taffy, raising not two, but three children together? It was as though all her hopes were actually becoming her realities.
She glanced over at the kitchen table, covered as always with various craft projects that the twins had on the go. She noticed with a smile that they’d already been cutting out pictures of puppies and sticking them onto a ‘mood board’ just as Lizzie had taught them – ‘Never go into a pitch without a clear idea of what you’re asking for.’ It was wisdom the boys now used to frequent effect – their as yet unsuccessful Xbox pitch still a work in progress, and stuck on the fridge door to make Holly smile.
Taffy flipped the Parma ham expertly onto Holly’s toasted brioche and presented it with a flourish. ‘Will there be anything else, m’lady?’
‘Ooh, I’m sure I can think of one or two things . . .’ Holly answered, her libido fighting her ravenous hunger for supremacy, as he leaned in and kissed her thoroughly, leaving her utterly off balance and aroused.
‘Maybe we could just—’ she began, before the kitchen door was flung open and the twins and Eric barrelled into the room.
‘Ooh, bacon!’ said Ben excitedly, turning a suspicious gaze upon his mother. ‘And you said we’d run out!’
Orange juice, coffee, toast and yoghurt were soon dotted all over the table, as Eric carried his now-empty bowl plaintively around to each of them in turn, imploring for a refill.
‘Can I have some eggs?’ asked Tom, climbing onto a chair to reach across and snag the last brioche bun.
‘No problem,’ Taffy said, taking pity on Holly who was finally getting a look-in with her fancy sandwich. ‘Boiled, fried, scrambled?’
Tom looked at him strangely. ‘For the Egg and Spoon Race. We’re practising for sports day.’
Taffy looked blank for a moment until Holly managed to swallow. ‘Sounds like hard-boiled might be a less messy option.’
The twins scattered from the table to search out pillow cases for Sack Race practice and unhooked the curtain swags for impromptu skipping ropes, casting expectant glances at their mother occasionally, as though waiting for her to intervene.
‘Is this okay, Mum?’ Tom asked eventually, unable to believe his luck.
‘Looks brilliant,’ replied Holly absent-mindedly, chewing her sandwich and clearly away with the pixies.
Taffy stepped forward and plucked Holly’s favourite necklace from Tom’s hands. ‘Maybe hold fire on the Treasure Hunt until I can help you later?’
Tom nodded, the memory of losing Elsie’s diamond earrings still fresh in all their minds. Obviously they’d turn up one day, it was just that Tom’s abilities to find the perfect hiding spots were second to none; his skill at remembering them, on the other hand, still needed a little finesse.
‘Do you think we could set up a support group at The Practice?’ Holly mused, once the boys had scarpered outside with their sports day practice paraphernalia. ‘I mean, as a regular thing? We could offer the doctors’ lounge as a private and comfy place to meet, couldn’t we?’ She looked up at Taffy for his response.
‘Help me out, Holls. What are we supporting now?’
‘Oh, yes, sorry. I’ve just been thinking about Molly Giles. I know she’s not the only one who needs a little camaraderie. These invisible disabilities are so insidious and mostly they’re affecting our younger patients too. Could we look into offering them something informal – probably not even condition-specific – just, well, you know? A friendly gathering to show them they’re not alone? There’s no way I’m sending Molly to the Parkinson’s group at the old people’s home!’
Taffy nodded. ‘Sounds like a perfect project for the Health in the Community Scheme, don’t you think? And it would hardly cost a bean. Unless you wanted a trained counsellor to oversee it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Holly said. ‘I just started thinking how lovely it is to feel supported, to be surrounded by people who are on the same song sheet—’
‘You got all that from a bacon sandwich?’ Taffy teased her.
Holly bit her lip and looked at him lovingly. ‘I got all that from living with you.’
‘Well, I am rather inspirational,’ he said with a grin. ‘Even if you’re the only one who thinks so. But, seriously, Holls, this is a great idea, if you’ve actually got the time and the resources to make it happen.’
Holly shook her head. ‘Well, obviously, I’ve got neither. But since when have we ever let that stop us?’
Taffy pinched the last morsel of her ‘bacon’ and grinned. ‘With you, Holly, I wouldn’t have expected anything less.’