Best Practice by Penny Parkes (49)

Chapter 49

Grace stared at the spreadsheet in front of her later that evening. She never thought she’d be grateful to that bastard Jarley, but even she had to admit that these few weeks away from work had been an unexpected bonus – particularly if you ignored the nightmares and the incipient panic attacks that still had a horrible habit of catching her off guard.

Going back to work this week had been more of a challenge than she’d ever thought possible, and she was almost ashamed to admit that the dramas unfolding around them had been a blessing in disguise, forcing her to focus on the job in hand. Knowing that Jarley had been refused bail and was now awaiting trial on six different theft and assault charges should have made her feel safer.

It didn’t.

She still felt hollow on some level she couldn’t quite reach, as though she were a sponge to any negative emotion. There had been something about the naked anguish on Connor Danes’s face that had touched her deeply, as his story had been picked up by every news outlet imaginable and broadcast to the nation. His willingness to be that vulnerable had stayed with her long after the TV and the internet had been switched off for the night.

She scanned down the list of auction donations, unable to put her finger on the source of disconnect. There was no shortage of treasures: paintings, ceramics, memorabilia aplenty. But it was only when she reached the listing next to Lizzie’s name that the penny finally dropped.

One vintage Ralph Lauren trouser suit, limited edition, navy, barely worn.

People weren’t donating the tired things they no longer wanted, she realised; they were donating beloved things of value. Each one a significant contribution to the fund financially, but perhaps more importantly an indication of how much this campaign meant to them and their families. Going to bed at night knowing that there were checks and balances in place to keep you safe if the worst should happen was, after all, practically priceless. And she obviously wasn’t the only one to think so.

Noodle and Doodle were curled up tightly beside her on the sofa and the comfort from their tiny snuffling snores was immeasurable. She dropped a hand to smooth Doodle’s tufty ears away from his face and he moaned and stretched in complaint. How easy it would be, she realised, to become the lady-with-the-dogs. Here she was, still living in the same house in which she had raised her boys and endured her marriage. It would be so easy to just slide into middle age . . .

She glanced at the screen again.

It was all very well her pushing Alice towards closure on her shopping habits, but was she actually living by her own advice? She was living in a house filled with relics – her sons used their rooms to store childhood trophies, sports kit and instruments, yet rarely came home. Roy’s study door was firmly closed and, whilst there was little if anything of value in there, the very idea of going through his things revolted her on some level – not so much because it would upset her to see all the reminders of the man she had so briefly loved, but more so to see how little she had truly known him.

Her own possessions were sparse. She’d never felt the need to buy more than she needed. Her china mugs and her favourite armchair were perhaps her only indulgence. Fashions came and went, and she rarely had the need for many clothes anyway. Nice yoga kit was perhaps her only vice – well that and computer kit, she conceded. Plain white china and a high-spec router, she smiled to herself. God knows, she could probably move out of this house using only her car and want for nothing.

She stopped dead. Why not? Why not take a risk?

Holly and Taffy were moving on. Alice was finally making strides in the right direction. Even her own relationship with Dan was like a breath of fresh air – unless of course they went back to his flat above the Indian restaurant, whereupon a breath of turmeric and cumin was more likely. She checked her watch; he was running late.

Doodle’s head shot up and he woofed quietly as Dan pushed open the back door. They were already accustomed to his comings and goings in her life and he no longer warranted the full twenty-one-bark salute.

Grace took a deep breath, skipping hello in favour of a leap of faith. There was no time like the present.

‘Let’s move in together,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Ditch all our baggage and make a fresh start.’

He blinked, clearly not the greeting he was anticipating, having turned up half an hour late and without picking up any milk as promised. ‘Okay,’ he said though, barely missing a beat.

‘Not here,’ clarified Grace. ‘Somewhere new. Somewhere that’s ours.’

He walked over to the sofa and deftly scooped Doodle into his arms so there was room to sit down beside her. He grinned. ‘This is going to be brilliant,’ he said.

Grace laughed, this entire staccato conversation somehow managing to convey a world of emotions. ‘Would you think I was mad if I got a house clearance firm in for this place? Most of it isn’t worth moving.’

‘You’re talking to a man whose worldly possessions fit in a Land Rover,’ he said easily. ‘As long as you bring your amazing coffee machine, I’m good. Oh and your new fluffy towels – I’ve grown to appreciate a little fluffy in my life.’

Noodle licked his hand in answer, as though misinterpreting his words.

‘This weekend?’ Grace suggested, fidgeting happily that such a momentous decision could feel so natural and so easy.

‘Sure,’ Dan said. ‘How would you feel about renting Holly and Taffy’s old place for a bit while we work out what we’re looking for? I know it’s not flash, but it has a nice atmosphere, don’t you think?’

‘I think that has more to do with the people living in it,’ Grace replied. ‘It certainly didn’t feel like that when the Magnificent Milo lived there.’

‘True,’ agreed Dan. ‘But I honestly think that wherever we set up camp, it’ll feel like home. Bed, sofa, fridge and we’re done.’

‘I’m liking your priorities there,’ Grace grinned. ‘Are we actually going to do this? I mean, so spontaneously. Some might even say recklessly?’

He paused. ‘Okay then. Let’s think this through. Do you like living here?’

‘Nope,’ said Grace cheerfully. ‘House of horrors. Hate it.’

‘So, even if we fell out over something stupid, you wouldn’t move back?’

‘No, I wouldn’t actually,’ Grace said, giving the matter proper consideration for a moment. ‘I want to sell up. I want to live in a house that’s bright and airy and with space to put down a yoga mat.’

‘Well, for what it’s worth, I travel pretty light since living with Julia. I mean, she cared enough for both of us about rugs and cushions and matching china.’

‘Dan,’ said Grace, her tone serious for a moment, ‘I think you should know that none of my china matches. My bras don’t match my knickers and I always forget to go shopping until there are tumbleweeds rolling through an empty fridge. I am not a domestic goddess.’ She wobbled for a moment, wondering whether this was news to him.

‘Well thank God for that,’ he said with feeling. ‘Life’s too short to worry about that kind of bollocks. We need to focus on the important stuff: Radio 2 or Radio 4? Early bird or night owl? Which side of the bed do you like to sleep on?’

Grace grinned. ‘Radio Larkford, permanently exhausted pigeon, wherever there’s space beside you.’

‘Aw,’ teased Dan. ‘I didn’t know you could be all soppy.’

‘Er, hello?’ Grace replied, shaking her head and gesticulating towards the two sleeping dachshunds. ‘Soppy is my new middle name.’

‘And would you like a new surname to go with your new address?’ Dan asked quietly, watching her for a reaction. Being widowed was one thing, giving up your name afterwards might be a step too far.

‘Wing it?’ she replied, leaning in to kiss him and leaving him in no doubt that her lack of haste in accepting his offer, however oblique, had absolutely nothing to do with the depth of her feelings for him.

It felt somewhat adolescent but frankly Grace didn’t care. This didn’t feel like ‘news’ until she’d shared her spontaneous leap of faith with someone and, surprisingly, the person who sprang immediately to mind had been Alice.

After years of living at a remove from those around her, Grace couldn’t help but feel that the last twelve months had brought her metaphorical riches beyond measure. It was as though, by opening up a little to the possibility of another meaningful relationship in her life, she had inadvertently ended up feeling loved and supported on so many levels.

She certainly didn’t feel like a mother to Alice, but there were elements of the ‘big sister’ about their friendship, not to mention the emotional trials and tribulations of tackling Alice’s godawful house, that had thrown them together and strengthened their bond.

She banged on the front door again and fidgeted impatiently. ‘Alice!’ she called through the letterbox. ‘It’s me!’

Grace could hear a flurry of activity behind the drawn curtains and worried for a moment that Alice was still cataloguing boxes at this hour of the evening.

Her worries disappeared as soon as Alice – a very tousled and flushed Alice – opened the door a notch. ‘Hey,’ she said easily. ‘How lovely to see you – give me a sec.’ And the door closed firmly in her face only to reopen again moments later.

‘Hi, Jamie,’ said Grace simply, unable to disguise the grin on her face. ‘I’m so sorry to interrupt.’

‘No, no, it’s fine. I mean you’re not interrupting. We were just talking about the – you know the . . .’ Jamie managed succinctly.

Grace shook her head. ‘Oh Jamie. I have two teenage sons. Do you honestly think I’m that naïve?’ She grinned. ‘So, I take it from all the flustering that I’m not supposed to know about this then?’

Alice blushed deeply. ‘We weren’t keeping anything a secret. It’s all very new—’

It was Grace’s turn to look discomfited. ‘Oh dear God, throw me out immediately. I can’t believe you even answered the door!’

‘Well,’ said Jamie awkwardly, ‘you were quite insistent.’

Alice laughed and swatted him with her hand. ‘Be nice. Relationships 101 – you have to win over the best friend, remember.’

Grace was a little taken aback. So she wasn’t just imagining it. These last few weeks of bonding over bubble wrap had morphed into a genuine friendship. ‘I won’t stay long,’ she promised. ‘I just wanted to tell you my news. Although actually I think yours might trump it.’

Alice shrugged. ‘It’s only taken us a year to become an overnight infatuation.’

‘No harm in that. When you know, you know though, right? I mean Dan and I have been working together for ever. Who would have thought we’d go from a first date to moving in together quite so quickly.’

Alice gasped. ‘Oh my God! Are you serious? How bloody brilliant is that?’

Grace surrendered to Alice’s effusive hug. ‘We’re going to start over. Together. I’m selling my place, ditching the lot, and we’re going to jump in with both feet!’ Her words tumbled out over each other excitedly.

Alice’s eyes grew large. ‘You’re ditching everything?’

Grace nodded happily. ‘Well, not the essentials – laptop, fluffy towels, coffee maker. Oh and my yoga kit. But yeah. It all comes with bad vibes. So where’s the harm?’

Alice shook her head. ‘I could never do that,’ she said firmly. She turned to Jamie. ‘Please don’t ask me to do that.’

Jamie wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and rested his chin on the crown of her head. ‘Never would. Never could. But I still think what you’ve started here is going to make you so much happier, Al. I know it’s been hard and God knows, Grace has been holding your hand every step of the way, but it’s worth it, isn’t it? Who knows, there might even be room for me one day.’

‘Don’t tempt me,’ said Alice. ‘Maybe Dan and Grace have got the right idea and we should just throw caution to the wind!’ She stopped and a strange expression flickered across her face. ‘But actually I’d be quite sad to miss the dating bit.’

‘No problem,’ said Jamie, apparently completely relaxed around Alice’s about-turns. ‘As long as there’s plenty of dating—’ His eyes twinkled their double-entendre.

Grace took a tiny step back, knowing that her presence was decidedly superfluous. She glanced around the room, at the bottle of wine on the table and the movie flickering on pause. She couldn’t help but notice how much bigger the room felt already, even accounting for the six-foot-plus of Jamie Yardley taking up space.

This house might be a work in progress, she decided, but it was on the fast track to becoming a home.

And she hadn’t been kidding with Alice when she talked about ditching everything to set up home with Dan. And she already knew the first thing that had to go – she wanted to start this relationship the way she meant to go on, with no expectations and no regrets.