Best Practice by Penny Parkes (33)

Chapter 33

‘Jamie?’ said Alice, as she attempted to fill Grace’s coffee machine with one hand early the next morning. ‘I’m so sorry, but something’s come up. I have to cancel.’

The silence at the end of the phone was just long enough to make Alice wonder if they’d been disconnected.

‘Are you sure?’ Jamie said in the end. ‘I mean, I would understand if you were losing your nerve a little, but we need to talk to Judith as a united front. I can’t do this without you, Alice.’

Alice automatically looked down at Coco, who was watching her with inquisitive eyes, probably wondering why they were here, in Grace’s kitchen, at this ungodly hour.

‘I know. I do. And it’s not that,’ Alice protested, even though a tiny part of her brain registered that she’d been only too pleased to postpone her plans to go to the training centre this morning when Dan had asked for her help. ‘Something horrible happened at The Practice last night. An intruder. Everybody’s okay, but Dan called me to ask if I could stay with Grace until she’s feeling a little more settled. It must have been terrifying for her, Jamie. And I guess, since I had the morning off and they’ve all got patients . . .’ She was aware that she was rambling, over-embellishing what should have been a simple conversation.

‘Alice?’ Jamie said softly. ‘It’s okay. It sounds like you’re in the right place. And I’m sure that you’re the right person too – not just because you’ve got the time, but didn’t you do that trauma-counselling course? Don’t put yourself down.’ He paused and she could hear him flicking the kettle on; she’d never met a man who liked his morning cup of tea so much. ‘Why don’t I come and take you both out for lunch? If Grace is feeling delicate, she might appreciate some company and maybe we can talk some more about Coco’s plans? Really get our ducks in a row before we face Judith?’

Alice could feel herself mentally logging out of the conversation; it didn’t seem to matter how empathetic and supportive Jamie was being about the whole thing, she simply couldn’t cope with that right now. Hell, she could barely think about it without feeling nauseous. What had seemed like the perfect solution in the park a few days ago – sensible, credible, acceptable – now felt like a leap of faith.

‘Maybe,’ she hedged. ‘Let’s just see how Grace is feeling.’

She hung up and turned her attention to the coffee, Grace padding silently into the room behind her and making her jump.

‘I hope you’re not letting that poor lad down because of me?’ She was pale and drawn and still wearing Dan’s oversized sweatshirt. Even the simple act of coming home this morning seemed to have taken it out of her. Sitting down at the kitchen table, Grace seemed to have shrunk overnight.

Alice shook her head. ‘You’re doing me a favour actually. I couldn’t quite face the fearsome Judith at the training centre today. The way she goes on and on about Coco being her Star Pupil – well, it’s a little possessive and kind of irksome. I need to be on top persuasive form to deal with her.’ She shrugged. ‘I’d much rather be drinking coffee with you.’

‘Irksome,’ smiled Grace weakly. ‘Now that’s a word you don’t hear every day. I rather like it. I may even borrow it.’ She stared at the cup of coffee that Alice placed in front of her as though she barely registered what it was.

‘Would you rather have tea?’ Alice offered. Somewhere in the back of her mind was the advice not to smother people after a trauma, hovering around them and infantilising them, but on the other hand she firmly believed that making small decisions paved the path back to making bigger ones, like getting dressed or leaving the house. But it was early days and the tremor in Grace’s fingers showed that she was still in shock.

‘I keep thinking about the noise Jarley’s head made when it hit the wall,’ said Grace instead. ‘It was kind of a thunk. Different, I suppose, to what you hear in the movies.’ She picked up the coffee and took a thoughtful sip. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if Dan hadn’t been there.’

‘But he was there, and you’re safe,’ Alice reassured her. ‘But if you want to, I’m happy to run a few alternative scenarios with you. It can really help, actually, to know that you had options that didn’t require a burly knight on a white horse.’

Grace nodded. ‘I keep wondering whether he would ever have taken no for an answer, would ever have believed that I didn’t have the bloody keys! Maybe he was just too out of it?’ Grace’s voice rose to a higher pitch than normal and Coco broke all protocol to walk over and lay her head on Grace’s lap, nuzzling at her as she sensed the distress behind those words.

There was silence for a moment, as Grace stroked the fur back from Coco’s compassionate gaze and then leaned forward to drop a kiss on her head.

‘Your Jamie is wonderful – you do know that, don’t you? I’d be so sad if you kept him at arm’s length all this time without realising that.’

Alice frowned. ‘I don’t keep him at arm’s length. We’re friends, that’s all. Kind of colleagues, when it comes to Coco. So it’s complicated.’

‘But we all have to start somewhere. And good men like Jamie Yardley don’t grow on trees, Alice. And whatever you say, you two clearly have chemistry. Don’t cloud your feelings for him with how you feel about the Coco situation, will you?’

‘It’s almost one and the same thing though, isn’t it?’ Alice responded. ‘Besides, he’s dating and I have a career. Not to mention a time-consuming and rather boring lifestyle commitment. We’re hardly love’s young dream.’

‘But this is real life, not a fairy tale. And do you know what? When I had that knife pressed to my neck, Alice, I wasn’t thinking about work, or yoga, or whether I should have skipped the mayo on my sandwich. I’ve been existing, not living, for years. All these ideas about my big fresh start? They’re just ideas. And maybe it took being terrified out of my skull to show me that, but I will tell you this, I’m not waiting for the “right time” any more – the right time has to be now, doesn’t it? Because what if now is all there is?’

Alice nodded slowly, blown away by the conviction in Grace’s words. ‘Does that mean you and Dan . . .?’

Grace nodded. ‘Maybe. Probably.’ She genuinely smiled for the first time that morning. ‘Hopefully.’

It was just a knock on the door.

That was all Alice could think, as she watched Grace’s hard-won resolve not to let these shocking events affect her shatter.

From their easy conversation over a second pot of coffee and, hang it all, a slice of cold pizza for ‘breakfast’, to a shaking, fragile Grace with eyes wide and full of fear.

Alice squeezed her hand gently. ‘I’ll answer it. You stay there with Coco.’

Grace could barely nod as her teeth chattered uncontrollably and Alice was torn as to whether she should even be leaving her side, whoever might be knocking at the door.

‘Floral delivery for Grace Allen?’ called a young woman’s voice and Alice immediately felt Grace unclench. Whoever she’d been imagining at her door clearly had a much deeper voice.

The bouquet, if such a vast arrangement could even be called that, took up most of the kitchen table. Alice passed Grace the accompanying note, but lingered beside her, ready to deal with any eventuality.

‘Well that’s nice,’ said Grace without feeling, reading the card as though it were simply a circular about bin day. She passed the note to Alice, who took a moment to decode the signature:

‘Oh,’ Alice said, seeing all too clearly that, as stunning and thoughtful as these roses undoubtedly were, they were simply from the wrong man.

‘Oh indeed,’ replied Grace, as she stood up and walked over to the window, presumably so her view included something other than half of the local florist. ‘Will you come out with me, Alice?’ she asked suddenly, turning to face her. ‘There’s something I need to do.’

For some reason, Alice had it in her head that they were going to see Chris, or Dan, or possibly even the police for an update. She certainly hadn’t expected Grace to direct them out of town and to pull up here.

‘Are you sure?’ Alice said gently. ‘It might just be a knee-jerk reaction to last night. And it’s a big commitment.’

Grace shrugged. ‘One day, some day, maybe? No, I’m not doing that any more, and I’m not going to let some angry, vile man in a dirty mac with a carving knife make me start jumping at shadows. I won’t feel unsafe in my own home, Alice. Not to mention, this is something I have always wanted. So why not today?’

Her assurance was absolute. This was clearly no whim.

Alice pushed open the car door and watched Coco tilt her head from side to side as she took in the new sounds and smells, before leaping to the ground with alacrity. Grace smiled. ‘You see. Even Coco thinks this is a good idea.’

She pushed open the main door and Alice and Coco followed her inside, allowing her to take the lead and uncertain exactly what she had in mind.

Grace simply smiled at the woman who greeted them. ‘I do hope you can help. I’m here to adopt a dog. I’m not fussy about what breed, but I’d like to feel safe in my home again and I’d love a little company.’

The lady nodded and held out her hand. ‘You’ve come to the right place then. I’m Patsy. Come and meet some of our residents.’

As Alice followed behind them, Patsy and Grace talking nineteen to the dozen about how the Dog Defence League worked, and how Grace’s life might accommodate a furry friend, she quietly took in their surroundings. Coco trotted neatly at her side, almost as though, in the presence of so many unwanted dogs and puppies, she was counting her tiny canine blessings.

Grace walked straight past an Alsatian, a Vizsla and a soulful Boxer, all of whom would have made excellent guard dogs, but Alice could tell from the intent expression on her face that Grace had something very particular in mind.

Patsy stopped by a pen containing a litter of Labrador puppies, fluffy and Andrex-y and utterly adorable. Grace merely shook her head.

‘Perhaps something a little more portable then?’ Patsy suggested, as she walked over to a small Jack Russell terrier who was pressing himself tightly against the wire front to his pen in a quest to be noticed.

A sharp yap from the end of the room echoed loudly and Grace’s head turned immediately. Cutting Patsy off midsentence, she walked towards the sound, which seemed to be echoing in stereo.

As Alice watched, Grace sank to her knees in front of the end enclosure and pushed her fingers through the wire netting. The yapping stopped immediately.

Patsy turned to Alice with a look of concern on her face. ‘Would your friend be a first-time dog owner? Only dachshunds can have incredibly strong personalities. She’d need to be clear from the start about who was boss.’

Alice thought about the last twenty-four hours, about Grace’s strength in the face of adversity and her resolve to make the best of the whole fucked-up situation. ‘I don’t think that would be a problem. And we have an excellent dog trainer on hand if she needs support.’

Patsy looked a little comforted. ‘Okay then. I just didn’t want her falling in love with the idea, only to struggle with the reality. Dachshunds may be small, but they have delusions of grandeur.’

They walked over to Grace and Alice did a double-take, quite literally, as there were two perfectly formed and perfectly identical wire-haired miniature dachshunds looking up at her, their eyes like tiny mirrors to their souls. Already it seemed that Grace was the centre of their world.

Her eyes shining with unshed tears, this time from happiness, Grace looked at Patsy for understanding. ‘I couldn’t possibly separate them,’ she said, nodding towards the little note on the wall.

Twin brothers. Eight months old and already abandoned.

Patsy managed a smile, choking back her own obvious emotion at Grace’s reaction. ‘That’s exactly what we’ve been hoping for for them.’

Grace sat cross-legged on the floor as Patsy opened the little gate and the two boys tumbled excitedly out. They barely gave Alice or Coco a passing glance, before burrowing onto Grace’s lap and making the most of Dan’s vast sweatshirt for comfort.

Patsy turned to Alice. ‘And as far as safety goes, these little chaps won’t let anyone within ten feet unless you want them to. Their bark can be quite off-putting, but with the right training your friend will have the most wonderfully affectionate companions.’

Alice watched Grace’s shoulders relax and her eyes widen with joy as one of the puppies snuffled into the palm of her hand, warm breath and whiskers tickling her skin.

‘Now then, I think you can be Noodle,’ she said to the puppy, kissing him lightly on his tufty little head. ‘And you can be Doodle.’

Alice crouched down beside them. ‘I think they’re just beautiful,’ she said.

‘Gather ye rosebuds,’ said Grace quietly. ‘What a load of bollocks. It should surely be “Get thee a puppy and thine love will be eternal”?’

With Noodle and Doodle in Grace’s arms and Patsy rushing through the paperwork, it was hard to imagine that such a wonderful day had begun in such a dark and frightening place. It only went to show what a little personal honesty and authenticity could achieve, thought Alice, if only she too could be brave enough to try it.