Chapter Nineteen
Ford
I listened carefully the stranger presiding over the court. He was younger, affecting a sterner face than was necessary, and he was acutely aware that everyone was watching how he worked. My attention, however, was caught by Clarity.
She sat in the first row and tapped her foot impatiently. No signs of any other stress besides boredom showed in her face. I knew the signs, I'd seen them sometimes in class. Clarity was done with this and ready to move on.
Nothing, not even what the judge was about to say, could make me any happier than that.
"Mr. Bauer, are you listening?"
"Yes, your honor. I am guilty as charged," I said.
The makeshift court snickered, but the interim dean of students silenced them with a glance. "We don't normally associate guilt with good aspects, though I was explaining to the students your reputation for pursuing the truth no matter the professional or personal consequences," he said.
Clarity smiled, and I knew the small curve of her lips was just for me. At that moment, I would have walked through fire for her, but all I needed to do was face the Honor Council and hear the verdict.
"You say it like he's being all noble, but he's a few years too late, don't you think?" Libby interrupted the interim dean of students.
I watched as Clarity's father, the former dean, whispered in his daughter's ear, and she smiled wider. Everything was going to be all right. If Clarity could put my mistake in the past, then so could Landsman College.
"Ms. Blackwell, we've heard quite enough from you. More than necessary, in fact. I believe I can speak for the entire Honor Council when I say that your testimony sounded more like bragging to an audience."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Libby demanded. "Professor Bauer's the one that overstepped the rules and had relations with me. Was that stated prudishly enough for you, judge?"
The interim dean of students looked at Libby over the top of his glasses and tried to ignore how everyone in the room looked to Patrick Dunkirk. "Your obvious enjoyment at relating the details of your 'relations' was more than enough to convince the court that you enjoyed the situation. Now, your interruptions are not in the spirit of the Honor Council, and I have to ask you to stop speaking."
Clarity's father leaned back and glanced around the room. He was in a Polo shirt and khakis on campus for the first time. The early-retirement look was good on him, especially coupled with a navy-blue sport coat that still lent him an air of professional wisdom. His replacement looked at him briefly before addressing the assembled students.
"I would ask that the Honor Council please remember that it was Ford Bauer himself that brought this infraction to light. Despite the lapse in time, it was Mr. Bauer that decided to confess to breaking the rules of propriety and not Ms. Blackwell," the interim dean said. He wiped his brow with a white handkerchief and shuffled his notes. "To own up to a past indiscretion is the mark of maturity as is the willingness to face the consequences."
Clarity gave an audible sigh. Her father nudged her in the ribs, but had to smother his own smile behind a fake yawn.
Libby fluctuated between flipping her hair, giving flirty looks to the male members of the Honor Council, and glaring at me. She had not managed to mount any kind of case, especially not when she ranted at the council about how she had pursued me and been rebuffed. She even quoted my use of the rules as protection against her solicitations.
The Honor Council stood up and adjourned into the back room. Landsman College allowed up to an hour for deliberation, but no less than fifteen minutes. In the meantime, everyone shifted, half the students left, and Clarity looked ready to tear her hair out. It cheered me that Clarity was so sure of the outcome.
I still feared the council would assume the worst and decide I had coerced a student into an unwanted relationship.
…Until I overheard Libby. "He's just bringing all of this up now because I may have actually found a serious boyfriend. I mean, I get it. Jealousy makes people do funny things. I guess Professor Bauer saw me with my new man and decided to go ahead with all of this as a way to remind me of what we had. He totally wants me back."
I got up to stretch but could not bring myself to walk over to Clarity and her father. There was a wall between Clarity and I. Things had settled down since we broke the Landsman donors’ corruption scandal. I hadn't seen much of her, and it worried me that Libby's self-serving lie was close to the truth for someone else.
I did it for Clarity. I wanted her to know that the truth mattered to me. I wanted to face her free and clear of all my past mistakes. It felt like we would never be on solid ground if I didn't face this last indiscretion.
How could I tell her how special she was until she knew for certain she was the only one for me?
The thought threw me back into my chair. I was ready to stew for an hour when the back door opened and the Honor Council returned. The foreman handed a slip of paper to the interim dean of students. He reviewed it and then cleared his throat.
"The Honor Council has reviewed the evidence, heard testimony, and decided on how to move forward. In the matter of Professor Bauer and Libby Blackwell, the Honor Council finds the relationship was consensual."
A ripple sigh and smattering of applause went around the room.
The interim dean frowned and continued. "The relationship should have been declared to administration, but, seeing as Mr. Bauer has left Landsman College, the Honor Council finds no further action is necessary."
I stood up lighter than I had felt in years. Former students waved, and it was easier to look everyone in the eye. Especially Clarity.
I turned to meet her gaze and felt a bolt of lightning run through my body. She waited until most of the students had filed out of the assembly room, but she never once took her eyes off me. Thomas, her former classmate, tried to get her attention, but she waved him away. Her father went to talk to his replacement, and the room emptied out.
As soon as the crowd was gone, she moved. I stood rooted to the ground as she wound her way through the empty folding chairs. A few feet from me, Clarity broke into a run, and she was flying by the time she leapt into my arms.
I caught the enthusiastic hug with a wave of surprise. "I understand if you're still disgusted by my past with Libby," I said.
Clarity tossed back her hair and hooked her hands behind my head. "The past is the past. Who wants to think about something that won't change? Besides, our future is much more exciting."
I pulled her into the doorway of the back room. "Our future?" I asked.
Her green eyes darkened as she grinned. "You know, you didn't need to do any of this. You've already proved yourself to me in many different ways."
I shrugged, "I just wanted to make sure I had my bases covered."
"Grand slam," she said and leaned closer to me.
I set her back, still keenly aware we were on her college campus. "Clarity, I'm serious. I want to start whatever this is on the basis of total and complete honesty."
She widened her eyes. "Whatever this is? You mean this?" She brushed her breasts against my chest. For a moment our hearts pounded against each other. "Or did you mean this?" Her lips hovered near mine.
"More," I whispered. "I want more."
Her cheeks blushed, and she seemed to remember that people could still see us. "What kind of more?"
I chuckled. "Everything. A whole relationship. You'll be stuck with me if you let me."
"Oh, then, yes," Clarity said.
I tugged her closer, our bodies flush, and her lips were inches away.
Then, Jackson and his wife popped up in the doorway. "Oh, no, don't do that," Jackson groaned. "Now my wife will think she really is a matchmaker. None of my friends will come over for beer anymore because she'll be so busy setting them up on dates."
"Matchmaker?" Clarity asked.
"Sorry," Alice smiled, "but I couldn't help notice at Thanksgiving. We've known Ford these past few years, and when I saw him chatting to you, I knew we'd only known a part of him."
"See? This is what I'm talking about," Jackson said. "Just because we're happy in love, and we happened to spot another happy couple, does not mean this is all you should think about. For god's sake, get a hobby."
"You mean like practicing law?" I asked.
Jackson chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose she is pretty amazing at that too."
I let go of Clarity only to shake Alice's hand. "I can't thank you enough, Alice. You really saved me there."
She shrugged her diminutive shoulders. "I didn't do much else besides call in a favor. The judge took one look at all the evidence you compiled and threw out the libel suit. We may not have been able to make anything stick to Michael Tailor, but at least the truth is out there."
"Without you, both my father and Ford would have been mired in courts and paperwork for years," Clarity said. She snaked an arm through mine.
I hugged her arm close, despite Jackson's wide grin. He winked at me and snaked his arm around Alice's waist, not to be outdone.
"In the end, I think all of this was the best lesson you've ever taught, Professor Bauer," Jackson said. "The students were outraged over the article being taken down, and they are now set to defend their freedom of speech in the real world."
"It was all part of my lesson plan," I said.
Clarity rolled her eyes and turned to Alice. "So, Michael Tailor is really going to get away with it after all?"
"I'm pretty sure Junior is looking for other schools," Jackson said.
"Thanks to your article, I was able to prove to the judge that Michael Tailor's money gave him influence over campus activities and processes. He agreed to keep it quiet in order to discourage further retaliation from Tailor."
"The judge also expunged the charges from my father's professional record. That was the amazing part. Thank you," Clarity let go of me to hug Alice.
Alice's cheeks lit up. "Just doing my job," she said.
Jackson beamed and kissed his wife on the head. "She's so modest. Though, really, the students did a lot of the work for her. They protested, they organized, and they've even come up with a plan for Landsman College to have more administrative transparency."
Clarity laughed, "Yeah, I hear they have an expert consultant helping them." Her father joined us, and she nudged him in the ribs. "Tackling the shadowy world of college administrations, huh? That's how you decide to start retirement?"
Patrick Dunkirk stepped forward and hugged Alice. "Thank you so much for everything." Then he turned to me. "I appreciate that you went the extra mile to atone for past mistakes."
I felt awkward, my arm brushing intimately against Clarity's as her father spoke to me. "I needed a fresh start."
Patrick eyed our arms as Clarity, who was chatting with Alice, slipped her hand into mine. She wasn't watching her father's face as closely as I was. My heart stopped.
The former dean burst out laughing. "Ford, if this whole thing has taught me one thing, it's to trust my daughter. I'm glad she's met her match and that she's already making you a better man."
"I'll shake hands on that," I said.
The interim dean of students moved past us and out into the hallway. Patrick was nice enough to offer him a smile and a nod.
"Was it strange to be at Honor Council and not presiding?" Clarity asked her father.
"Yes, of course, but satisfying. It was really great to see that the system I fought to get put in place actually works. Mighty nice of you to try it out, Ford, though I'm sure we didn't all really need to know your dirty laundry."
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to get your job back," I said. "Our article outlined how Tailor intended to coerce you, and Alice was able to prove to the judge how you were set up, but the president of the college was firm."
Patrick waved a hand at all our concerned expressions. "How am I supposed to stand in the same room as the Honor Council and not own up to my mistakes? I accepted the gifts from Tailor, I decided to make use of his influence, and I paid for it. I'm just glad that I was the only one."
Jackson shook his head. "No, I think the students are paying for it. They miss you. Now that they know how to organize themselves and create a coherent message of change, I'm sure they'd be willing to mount a campaign for your return."
"Don't you like my replacement?" Patrick asked. "Poor man, he certainly got thrown in at the deep end. I thought he did pretty well today, though, didn't you?"
I chuckled. "Landsman College could still use your guidance. The students respect you even more now they know you are human and not infallible. You can't tell me you don't want to be back on campus."
"Just like you?" Patrick asked.
I frowned. "I think it's obvious that from the start I was not cut out for academia. I'll just have to find my way doing something else."
"I like to imagine you're going to become some sort of scandal vigilante. You'll show up and expose the truth and then move on to the next den of iniquity," Jackson said.
"Please excuse him," Alice interrupted, "he's been reading too many short stories from his fantasy fiction class."
"Maybe I could consult with the students too," I said. "I have a few ideas about how to get you back into your old job."
"The only ideas I want from you are recipes for Christmas dinner. I figure our little table had quite a stretch since Thanksgiving. We should all get together and celebrate the rest of the holidays," Patrick said.
"I'm in," Clarity said, "as long as Ford is helping cook and clean."
"Jackson can help too." Alice volunteered. "And I know a recipe for a great wine spritzer."
"You're all invited," Patrick said. "I can't think of a better way to kick off my retirement."
I scratched my head. "So, you're really going to go through with it?"
"I made my mistakes, and now I have to pay for them. Though, thanks to Alice, I don't have to have them on my permanent record. I can retire with my dignity intact."
"Thank god, because I used to think you might die in your desk chair," Clarity joked.
"Nope, see? I've even got a whole new wardrobe. No more suit or sweater vests for me. It's exciting, and I'm sorry to say I don't want to turn away from that at this point in my life," Patrick said.
Clarity grinned. "What he means to say is there's no way he's trading his newfound plans for anything."
Jackson eyeballed Patrick's outfit. "You're taking up golf?" he asked.
"I was thinking boating," I joked.
Patrick laughed. "No, but it turns out I might get a chance to be an artist anyway. My daughter's change of direction inspired me, and I decided to join one of the Landsman Alumni tours."
"Oh, come on, Dad, you're not fooling anyone," Clarity said. "Alice is a matchmaker; I'm sure she can guess what you're doing and why."
Alice grinned. "Let me guess—is there any chance this tour is led by Polly?"
Patrick narrowed his eyes at Alice but could not hide his smile. "Yes, it just so happens the tour and course is taught by Polly, but I have no idea what you think that means."
Jackson clapped him on the shoulder. "Look out, Alice has spoken. Plus, even I saw you looked at Polly the way Ford was looking at Clarity. That was some Thanksgiving party you threw."
"Alright, fine, I'll admit it," Patrick said. "I'm happy to have a chance to do what I love with someone that helps me love art even more."
Clarity laughed at the ruddy color of her father's cheeks. "I hate to say it, but maybe my mother wasn't so crazy all those years ago."
Patrick nodded. "You have to find what you love and chase it. Or, in your case, study it. Or, in Ford's case, admit it."
"What?" I asked. I snapped back to the conversation to realize that everyone was ringed around and staring at me. "I thought I already did all the admitting I had to do today."
"All I'm saying, Ford, is that maybe you should follow my example. Minus the scandal and the forced retirement. Better yet, why don't you follow Clarity's example? She's found what she loves to do, and she's pursuing it."
I looked at Clarity and was arrested by completely different thoughts than her father's meaning. I loved Clarity, and when I thought about what I really wanted to do, lately all that appeared in my head was her next to me in my bed. As much as Clarity might appreciate that for an afternoon or evening or two, she was not going to be impressed with me if I didn't find another passion.
"Wait, you said all I had to do was admit what I love to do,” I said. "Why are you all acting as if you know something that I don't know?"
Alice and Jackson led the way out of the assembly room and down the hallway. We all paused before stepping outside the glass doors. A flurry of snow was skating across the windows, leaving a faint, white dusting across the college lawns. The last of the leaves had finally fallen, and despite a week or two of unseasonable warmth, winter was finally on its way.
I gazed at the bare trees and the blowing snow. Maybe I could hibernate all winter, spend my time with Clarity, and figure out what I wanted to do in the spring. Even imagining it had me itching with cabin fever. I needed something to do—a job, a purpose—and it annoyed me that everyone else could see what it was but me.
I stopped Clarity. "Where do you think I should go from here?" I asked.
She smiled. "How about home to my father's for a glass of wine? It's not Christmas yet, but there's no reason we can't all have dinner together."
"Pizza!" Jackson declared. "I might not be able to defend people in court, but I can throw a good crust."
"We'll pick up the ingredients and meet you there," Alice said.
I caught Clarity's hand as the doors opened. "That's not what I meant," I said.
She looked up at me with a twinkle in her deep green eyes. "What do you want to do? For a job, I mean," she blushed.
"I can't go back to journalism. No one will hire me. Sure, the exposé article did a great job, and it got great attention, but no one is going to hire me without recommendations. And, despite standing up to Barton, he still holds my credit. No one is going to hire someone that has been discredited by Wire Communications."
"So you want to go back to teaching here at Landsman?" Clarity asked.
I grabbed both her hands. "No. Absolutely not. It wasn't the right fit for me in the first place, but I am not going back to a job that puts obstacles between you and me."
"You should talk to the president of the college," Clarity's father added as he zipped up his winter coat.
"It doesn't matter if I declare our relationship or not," I said. "I want to do more, do something myself, instead of teach others about it."
Patrick chuckled. "A man of action. How did I know my Clarity would choose a man of action? Stop, for just a moment, and listen. You should talk to the president of the college."
"Dad, he just said he's done with academia," Clarity reiterated.
"I don't think of the students as a dusty old discipline," Patrick said. "I've been consulting with the student protestors and advising them on how to approach and change administrations. Along the way, I may have put it in their heads that it is important to have an outlet for their message."
"Especially after the student newspaper's right to free speech was compromised when they took down our article," Clarity added.
"So, we put it in the president's head that Landsman College would benefit from a mirror publication. One intended to be an off-campus, independent newspaper with the sole mission of holding the college accountable," Patrick finished with a big smile. "What do you think about that, Mr. Bauer? Sound too academic for you?"
I rubbed my neck. "It sounds like a great public relations move on the part of the college president. He can appease a lot of students by allowing dissenting views to be heard in a public fashion."
"No," Clarity bumped her hip against mine. "He means what do you think of it for you?"
"For me?" I asked. I shook my head. "I don't think I can work for someone else again. The idea of being censored or forced to write from talking points is too much for me. I'm not going to be someone's outlet for perfectly spun stories that paint the college in just the right light."
"That's the beauty of the whole idea, don't you see?" Patrick asked.
I shook my head again and zipped up my own parka. "What do you think is going to happen the first time the independent newspaper has a story that trashes a long-held administrative privilege?" I asked. "The president will come to visit me personally and see if I, as the most experienced journalist, can make some diplomatic edits to the articles. I can't put up with that anymore. That's not the kind of journalism I want to pursue."
"Aha! So you do still want to pursue journalism. I was right!" Clarity grinned at her father. She pulled on her mittens and put a colorful hand on the door. "I knew we'd come up with something perfect for you."
"We? Who?" I asked. I stood my ground and crossed my arms. "Don't think I'm going to put up with Dunkirks ganging up on me."
Patrick clapped me on the shoulder. "That, you'll have to learn to live with; the other things, though, are what this position was created to fight."
"What position?"
Clarity let go of the door and put her bright mittens on my arms. "I agree that you should never have to compromise your writing again. That's why you are the only person the students requested to head up the off-campus newspaper."
All my tension melted away, leaving me in a muddled state of shock. "Head up?"
"Yes!" Clarity laughed. "I think we proved that neither of us is really cut out for investigative journalism, but you have an eye for a story, and you can advise students to do the real work of it. That's why they want you to be the editor-in-chief."